Without Red Hair and Freckles
by suspense button presser
Summary: I have black hair, brown eyes, and there is not one single freckle on my body. How can I be a Weasley like this? My brothers tease me, my dad doesn't understand me, and I have one secret worth keeping.
1. Dinner Nightmares

**_Please review :)_**

Today, Al's socks smelled worse than anything ever imaginable. I would have to guess that he hadn't changed or washed those socks in about three weeks by the odor sneaking out of his shoes. The smell was horrific; it was hard to sit next to him at the table. Dinner at my house was always not my favorite time, it made me actually discuss my personal life with my family, and the fact that James was four years older than me complicated things a lot. Hogwarts letters would be coming soon, and this year, I would finally get mine.

My mother would ask me if I was excited to go to Hogwarts, but I wasn't really, it was just a school, wasn't it? Hogwarts is just another place that I will feel like I don't fit in, because I don't fit in.

To both of my parent's surprise, I was born with my dad's black hair and my mother's eyes. Ever since I was able to choose the way I wanted my hair, I had it long and the bangs were grown out so that if I wanted to I could hide my face from embarrassment. I didn't need glasses, I never needed braces, and I've always been "the outcast" in my family. No other Weasley girl had black hair, no other Weasley looked like me, I was the girl that never fit in with her own family.

The thing that set me apart from all of the Weasleys was that I didn't have any freckles. I didn't mind freckles, but I never got them. Even Al had freckles with his black hair, and they clashed badly, but he didn't seem to notice. He was a popular Gryffindor, same with James, both popular, both funny, and they were setting the bar unreachably high.

Al flicked a pea off of his spoon and it hit me right on the cheek, I winced but I didn't say anything to him. I didn't like confrontation, and I never liked talking much.

He did it again, and this time, I just looked down so that my black hair would cover up my face. I hated violence, which must have been the reason leading to my strong, yet very secret, dislike for Quidditch.

I never paid attention and they just flew on brooms trying to knock heavy round things into high hoops. Al must have been trying to fling more peas at me because my mother's voice finally came up, "Albus Severus, stop that right now, eat your peas or you'll have to eat the rest of yours and the ones off of the floor."

I don't have much in common with my mum, but she is very caring and understanding. I wish I could be her perfect daughter for her, but I just don't know how to.

"Is that a promise?" he asked.

"Albus, be nice to your sister" My dad was courageous, strong, and had many talents. We are about the opposites, I am not in any way courageous, I am wimpy, and I cannot think of one talent that I have.

"Yeah Al, be nice to our freak show of a sister" James sniggered, I kept my head low, and this was not uncommon at the table. Hence the reason as to why my least favorite time is dinner.

"James Sirius! You march up to your room right now and your grounded, if you don't keep your tongue in than you won't be going to Diagon Alley with us in a week" Dad warned, but what hurt me more was that he didn't say that what James said wasn't true.

James happily got up, since he was done, and literally marched up the steps, making loud noises as he went. It was his night to do dishes…

I mumbled an excuse to go up to my room and quickly left up the stairs. Closing my door quietly, I leaned against it and stared at the interior of my room. There was my bed, my desk, my piles of books, my sketchbooks, and my baby blue pygmy puff named Alice.

Most days it felt like she was the only living being that understood me.

Okay no, she isn't human, but who cares anyways? I am alone in this big world and my world is about to get a whole lot bigger by going to Hogwarts.

Hopping onto my bed and letting Alice out, I played with her, she chased a string around while jumping up and squeaking. Then I heard a knocking on my door, I didn't want to answer it, so I just stayed quiet. "Lily, please let me in."

I grudgingly got off my bed and answered my door. My mom stood in the doorway, and asked, "Can I come in?"

I nodded and let her into my room, it was not like my brothers, you could actually see my floor. She had me sit on my bed and she let out a sigh. "I'd love to see your eyes for once" my mom pushed my bangs and tucked them behind my ear and smiled at me. "Much better"

Giving her a weak smile back, I decided that right now, I shouldn't get all emotional. "Your brothers are just boys, and they say stupid things like your dad does sometimes, but Lily, you aren't anything related to a freak show."

One of the things that I loved about my mom is that she's genuine, and I can tell that she isn't lying to me and she actually believes what she says.

She seemed to be searching for a word or so, but I didn't really want to talk right now. "Do you understand that? I don't want you thinking that your brothers are doing that because it's true. Lily, you are normal." She may have believed that I am normal but in all reality, I'm really not.

I nodded, and she was at just a half grin and said, "Your voice is very pretty Lily, you should use it more often," she hugged me and whispered, "Especially when you're singing in the shower, you have a real gift."

My mom smiled and let go, with that, she left my room. I pushed my bangs back in front of my eyes and lay down on my bed.

I highly doubted that Hogwarts would be any better than what Al and James were like, only I had to do more school work, which I was fine with. Al and James had told me stories about Hogwarts that I knew were totally wrong, but I knew that some of their stories had truth in them.

To make it short, in my opinion, Hogwarts wasn't all that great as everyone says it is. So why couldn't someone just home school me? That way I wouldn't have to go through all the teasing and I wouldn't disappoint all of the girls that thought because I'm Ginny Potter's daughter I must be drop dead gorgeous and bound to be their popular buddy that would talk fashion with them.

Sorry to disappoint them.

The fact that I am Harry Potter's daughter makes it a guarantee that I will be watched and stared at. It doesn't help that my mom was a professional Quidditch player before I was even born. Also, because I'm different, that means more eyes are on me.

To say the least, I am not excited to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

The next morning I got up and looked at my clock, it was 8:43 on a summer day. This also proved that I am different and weird.

I let Alice out of her cage and played with her until 10:21 when my mom called me downstairs for something. Alice went back into her cage and I ran down the stairs. She pushed my bangs behind my ear and asked, "Would you help me outside dear?"

I agreed and helped her do chores the rest of the day. Then, dinner came again…

Al still hadn't washed his socks and he was wearing the same ones that he had last night. "What did you do today dad?" James asked excitedly.

"Nothing much, just paperwork today" sometimes dad would bring back stories that told us about how he fought off about fifteen guys at once. Others, it was just a paperwork day. Secretly, I really love the adventure stories.

James gave out a groan, but then a twisted smile turned on his face. "Did you get any mail today dad?"

I knew where he was going with this; he had always told me that an owl had brought me instead of mum and dad being my parents. Then later on he added that I had fallen out of the owl's grasp quite a few times to get me the way I am.

"Only boring things" Dad said, biting onto some corn.

"Boring like having a baby being dropped off in your office that you could tell had been hit on the head multiple times. You kind of saw the resemblance of you and mom and decided to keep her and name her as your own?" James said nastily, looking at me while he said every word.

"James Sirius Potter you won't be going to Diagon Alley with us next week then! Your father warned you young man, now apologize to your sister right now" My mum said angrily.

"I'm sorry that mum and dad have been lying to you your whole life" He said getting up, knowing the drill, "I'll be up in my room, staying grounded for a week"

"Two weeks" mum corrected him.

"TWO WEEKS?" he repeated loudly, "But that's almost the rest of summer vacation!"

"Then you should have kept your tongue in" Mum told him.

He stomped up the steps, mumbling things that I couldn't quite catch. I kept my head low. Al got up out of his seat and said, "Nice going _squib_"

I could hear my mom getting up from the table; I could feel the rage bubbling inside her, "Albus Severus Potter you give your sister a real apology right now." She tried keeping her anger inside but it wasn't working.

He plain out refused to and my mother dragged him into the living room by the ear. I knew she had given dad the signal to keep me at the table, but he didn't really have anything to say to me, I didn't have a whole lot to say to him either. Besides my looks, my dad and I had nothing in common.

Then, I could feel the tears start to form in my eyes. He had gotten to me; Al had finally gotten to me. This was his goal over the summer, to make mine as miserable as possible before going back. He had succeeded in more ways than one. I want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

The silence in the room with my dad was torture; I'm pretty sure he thinks that I'm going to kill him in the middle of the night one of these days. Which is absolutely false, I love my dad, its just I don't really have much to talk to him about, or anyone for that matter.

I could hear him moving his head, he had finally looked up at me and he could see the tears slowly coming down my cheeks. He didn't know what to say, so he didn't say anything at all, this was one of the times where I wanted my dad to show his caring and nurturing side, but it didn't.

For the next fifteen minutes I listened to the distant fight of Al and mum, but I couldn't take it anymore. I got up from the table and ran into my room, locking the door behind me, I was trembling. I felt like I hated James and Al, but in all reality it was just major dislike. Mom wouldn't be there to protect me at Hogwarts, so who ever wanted to pick on me, would and there would be nothing I could do about it.

_I really hope you like my story so far! Please don't forget to review and tell me what you think.  
I know that Lily normally has red hair in the Epilogue but I didn't have it that way in my story.  
Also I don't remember if James was said to have red hair or not but I wanted one of the children to have the weasley hair._


	2. Trip to Diagon Alley

**_PLEASE Review!! _**

Dropping off Al and James at Dudley's house was the easiest thing that I had to do all week. I think I may have even smiled and waved right before we left for Diagon Alley.

When we got into the Leaky Cauldron, a nice looking woman said "Hi Harry, can I get you anything today?" Mum didn't seem to mind the lady, so I guess she wasn't any competition to my mom.

"No, I'm good today, but thanks anyways Hannah."

My mum gave a nod to Hannah as she passed by but Hannah asked "Harry, is that your little girl?" I felt the whole room go quiet and all eyes go onto my straight, shiny, black hair. Apparently everyone had been eavesdropping. "She's just so cute, I never knew you had a daughter too, I only suspected Al and James because they'd cause such a ruckus coming in I must have been too busy to notice her."

This wasn't the first time that people didn't know I existed.

"Yeah, this is my daughter Lily" he told her, and whispered, "Say hi Lily"

I just hid more behind my mom and the Hannah woman laughed, "A shy one, that's why I never noticed. So where are James and Al?"

"They couldn't behave so they had to stay at Harry's cousin's house." Mum told Hannah.

"Ah, I understand, well it was nice meeting you Lily" Hannah told me as we got out to the way to Diagon Alley.

I held tightly onto my mother's hand as I was pushed out of many other people's way. I never really noticed before how many people looked at me because I was with my parents. The fact that I never got out much was also another thing. My dad took my other hand because I seemed to be trailing behind my mother. Several eyes were on me, and I could feel them, I am not just paranoid, I saw their eyes looking at me with part disgust and part interest. The first shop that we went to was Gringotts, all of the goblins scared me, so I stayed especially close to mum. Dad went up to an especially hideous goblin and said cheerfully, "Hello Griphook, I'd like to make a withdrawal."

I hid behind my bangs, and for extra protection, besides mum. "Do you have your key?" the ugly goblin asked.

He pulled it out and put it on the desk. "Very well, I will show you to your vault." The goblin hopped down from his podium and had us fallow him. The ugly goblin shoved us into a cart and we went plunging down into the darkness of the vaults. It felt like sixty miles per hour rushing against my face and my lungs were gasping for air, I wanted to scream bloody murder but I restrained myself from doing so. Then, it got so cold, like 5 degrees cold. I may be off by a few degrees but it was around there. "How much longer?" my mother asked, looking less nauseous than I felt.

"Only four hundred more vaults to go" then, something clicked four times, the cart came to an immediate stop, and then, in the darkness, we went plummeting down, straight down, for I don't know how long, but I couldn't contain myself from screaming anymore. It just came out. Then, we stopped once, slowly crept backward, and then we picked up speed to go to a dark vault, numbered: 1,254. Previously daddy had two vaults but then we decided to just combined them together. I didn't remember ever coming to this one. It was in the newer part of Gringotts, and in the highest security level. Apparently, years ago, someone had broken into this place and stole something. Dad and mum call them rebels but everyone else just calls them mad for doing it.

"Mr. Potter, your belongings have been kept in this vault, and you will need to give me your password once more" the goblin snarled. Harry leaned over to the goblin and whispered it to him, making the ugly elf grin at me, "How… original."

He stuck the key into the vault door and it unlocked it. "Now, take out how ever much gold you want, but make sure that you tell us the exact amount so that we can check how much you've taken out."

Dad took another thirty minutes taking his grand old time just to pick out certain things but he also took a big black box with him, I asked him what was in it, but he wouldn't tell me the contents and said they were "secrets."

Something that dad would hide… hmmm. He wasn't that secretive besides when he had to be an Auror. But on some days, dad didn't know when to stop being like an Auror to me, and to start to be a real dad.

Finally we got out of that horribly cold bank and out into the sunshine that hit my pale completion. My mom pulled my hair out of my face for the eighth time in the past half hour. "I don't know why you try to hide Lily; you're really beautiful underneath those bangs too." I couldn't help but feel she was lying straight in my face.

I wasn't a gothic type of person, no, I was just like everyone else… but with less confidence, and a whole lot more teasing happening to me.

Ignoring my mother's comment I shoved my bangs in front of my face again while she wasn't looking. The glares and stares continued as I walked down the street with my parents, I felt constant whispering behind me. Was I really that noticeable? Most of them didn't know I lived until now apparently…

Mum and Dad took me to Flourish and Blotts bookshop, Dad and Mum went to find James's and Al's books while I submerged myself into the words of Nathaniel Benton. An American Novelist, his words captured my imagination like non other had before; my inspiration came from him, to read more. That's how I started my obsession with reading. I had read eight thousand, five hundred, and sixty-four books in my entire life; including story books that I had read out loud to my mum when I was just about three years old.

I guess I had been into reading before, but it really didn't hit me how important reading was until I read his stories. Although they were stories about various muggles and such I still enjoyed reading them. Even some had wizards and muggles combining together to create a harmonious world, after they had gotten all the bugs out of the system.

My brothers constantly teased me about how much I read. I had finished two, rather light books, in one day and I didn't stop hearing the rest of it. The pages combined were only six hundred pages.

This was the only book of his that I didn't have; the book only had 1,278 pages in it. The name was "Saving Sarah Jane" the first page talked about a boy named Parker and his very old neighbors. That's when… it happened.

A brown haired, small nosed boy knocked into me, making me fall onto a chair that was occupied by a dirty blonde haired boy, who could see both of my eyes stare at him. "Jeeze, watch where you're falling" the small nosed boy told me, looking at my pale face that had gotten a bit pinker. With wide eyes I jumped out of the chair and ran, the dirty blonde haired boy on my mind, but when I turned the corner I heard their conversation.

"Who do you think that was?" the boy on my mind asked curiously.

"She's a Potter, doesn't look like one though, no freckles and no red hair, if I had any say in it, I bet she was adopted from a foreign country, that's why she doesn't talk." He said calmly, as I heard the other boy sigh.

"I didn't see the connection… but she does sort of look like a Potter… but why has no one ever heard about her?"

"Kept her a secret? I don't know. But what ever she is, she doesn't look anything close to famous, just looks like an outcast. I hope she isn't in my house anyways, but more than anything I bet she'll be with her not-so-saint-like brothers in Gryffindor." I didn't think about it that much; I would just go to what ever house accepted me.

"Why would Harry Potter have a secret daughter? I mean, things just don't add up when you talk." I heard him add, "Besides, how would you know if she's an outcast or not, and why would it concern you, it doesn't so I don't think we need to worry about it."

I ran to my mom and begged her to go someplace else, anywhere would be better than having to face those boys again.

She paid for all of our school books and we went on our way, but I came across the dirty blonde haired boy again in eight other stores. When we did see him, I was doing something that made me accidentally trip over something or I made a mess, with my mother closely eyeing me. The small nosed boy only looked at me when I passed by him, and I could tell that he talked about me when I left to anyone who would listen to him.

When we finally left to go pick up Al and James my father commented "So, Lily, you really have a knack for falling and knocking over stuff today."

He gave a small laugh but I just stared out the window of the car, watching things pass by me. "Harry," my mother said warningly, "Are you happy that you got your wand Lily?" her tone was happier when talking to me, so I just nodded politely.

"I think Lily's a lot like you, Ginny, when you first met me. Your mother ran up the stairs when she saw me in her house." My dad told me, I only grinned, but my mother said, "That wasn't the first time we met dear."

"It wasn't?" he asked my mum stupidly.

"No, it wasn't, I had met you a year before that, you never talked to me till then but you were at the train station and I saw you there while my mother gave you directions as to how to get onto the platform. When I found out who your father was, I begged your grandmother to go onto the train but she refused to let me go and stare at your father." Mum told me with a grin.

"I remember eavesdropping into that conversation now" My dad told her with a laugh, as we pulled into the driveway of Dad's cousin's house. To be honest, I wasn't that excited to see Al and James. I would rather just have my parents in the house; they didn't pick on me because I wasn't like them.

Al and James came running out of the house before we could fully stop the car. Mum and Dad gave them hugs, but I just stayed in the car, waiting impatiently to go home. When we finally got home I took all of my stuff up to my room and set it all in its place. I played with Alice until I heard a noise coming from downstairs, my parents were talking. I pressed my ear up against the door and I could easily hear their conversation.

"Honey, you know that you can't go with her to Hogwarts and she's going to make friends there…"

"But Harry, she barely gets along with her own family, how will she get along with other people that will ridicule and pick at her? I've told you before, and I'll tell you again, I think it would just be better for Lily to be taught by us." I heard my mother say.

"So that Al and James have another reason to pick on her? And her friends will be there to back her up, like mine were."

"You had Ron and Hermione, but Lily's only true friend right now is that Pygmy Puff that George gave her last Christmas! She doesn't talk to anyone and I haven't heard my baby's voice in weeks. I can barely remember what it sounds like Harry."

"James and Al have been talking-"

"Harry, you have to stop focusing so much on your boys and pay more attention to Lily. I bet you can't even tell me her favorite color." Mum said seriously.

"Ginny, that's ridiculous."

"Then answer me"

I could tell he didn't know it, and if he was really lucky he could guess it, "Obviously it's black because she wears so much of it."

I could tell my mother was frowning, "Its purple, and it always has been. She doesn't wear that much black Harry, it's just her hair that grabs your attention because it's basically the only thing that makes her look like you besides not having freckles" My mother told him nastily.

"Ginny, I know my daughter, okay."

"I bet you could have told me Al's or James's favorite color without blinking, you are so absorbed with your sons that you are forgetting you have a daughter. You don't know how to connect with her Harry, that's your problem."

"My problem? That girl never talks!" he said exasperatedly.

"THAT GIRL IS YOUR DAUGHTER" I heard my mother yell, obviously this was getting mum angry and I didn't know if I wanted to listen to it anymore. "She is going to grow up hating men, because she never had good experiences with them unless you change that Harry. James and Al have no respect for her and Al has taken things over the line, now I want you to talk to them tomorrow and then, after that, you are going to do something with Lily to bond with her because you are so out of touch with her."

"But why? It's not like you know James and Al that well" he protested.

"Try me."

"What are Al and James's fears?"

My mother didn't hesitate and said "Al is afraid of spiders like Ron and James has a fear of not being funny."

"Damn" I heard him mutter.

"Harry, just please. I really want to hear her before she goes off to school and I won't see her for months on end." My mum said.

I stopped listening in on their conversation because I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't feel close to my dad, and I didn't really want to be forced to do something that he likes that he thinks that I like but I actually hate. If only I were normal.


	3. All aboard the embarrassment train!

**_Please Review!!_**

That time had come around again; I couldn't avoid it, family dinner. It had been six days since I heard mom and dad talking in the living room. He must have talked to Al and James, because they were behaving, almost nice to me. Now that I thought about it, they determinately didn't talk to me so that they'd stay out of trouble before going to school. I knew that couldn't last long after they got on the train.

My dad never took the time to spend with me, I guess I don't mind. I wasn't supposed to know anyways… it just would have been nice I guess. My thought was interrupted when I got a question aimed at me. "So what'd you do today little Lil? Sit in that boring old room of yours with your pygmy puff and read?" James and Al laughed at James's not-so-humorous joke.

"James," my mother said, with her famous glare that would even scare the giant squid in the lake at Hogwarts.

"Well mom, it's probably true!" James announced at the table, "That's all she did all summer besides go to Diagon Alley and trip over everything in sight."

I finally looked up at my older brother, and he was grinning ear to ear, "Don't think I don't read your diary on a daily basis, because I do, and I would have thought that you would have been smarter and figured that out already." He put a spoonful of soup into his mouth before saying, "should I go on about the dirty blonde haired- OW!" James screamed in pain and swore a mixture of different words that I hadn't heard of before.

"James Sirius Potter!" My mother said loudly.

"It wasn't me mum! Honest, but I just got this shooting pain on my foot and it hurt like hell."

"Who do you suppose did that?" she asked without trying to act like she was actually concerned.

My face guiltily gave it away, and James's face went pure red, "You did that!"

His finger was almost touching my eye, it was just that close as he yelled. All of my family's eyes came onto me. James started complaining about me until my mom told him to put his hand at his side or in his mouth to shut him up. He stared at his peas for the longest time until he said, "As I was saying before, the dirty blonde haired boy, was he dirty and blonde or is his hair dirty blonde?"

I whispered a "shut up" to my plate.

James's fork spilled onto the floor, I could imagine his shocked face, but I didn't look up. "What did you say to me?" he asked furiously, yet at the same time surprised.

Looking up to have my eyes meet his, these words flew out of my mouth quite angrily, "I said shut up! You and Al always find some way to squeeze in a comment that will bring me down. Yet you don't understand why I hate being a part of this family?" I felt like I was screaming at the top of my lungs, since normally I don't talk so this was a new concept for me. I was only talking in a medium loud voice for regular people, but that didn't matter, what did matter was my mother's expression.

I felt horrible for saying it, but it kind of just came out. I knew I could never be the daughter that my mother wanted, but this was definitely not helping any. With those words ringing in everyone's ears, I ran up the steps, and slammed my door shut.

Throwing myself onto my bed was the only thing I thought to do after locking my door. I grabbed the nearest pillow, and pushed it into my face so my nose was hurting. This was when I finally allowed myself to have emotions, and I cried, hard.

I don't like showing my emotions; it makes me feel weak and vulnerable.

The crying continued, on and on, and on. No one came up, so I didn't feel the need or want to go and search for them to resolve this.

Tomorrow, I'd have to face my parents for the last time in several months. It was the scariest thing that I've ever done, even more than picking up that werewolf book and have it bite at me. With no one watching out for me, I knew that this could end well, or it could go as all of my nightmares have been showing me… horribly wrong.

No one tried to talk to me at all after what happened at dinner. I think it was the mixture of hearing my voice and telling my much-older-than-me brother to shut up. I had only ever heard the words, but I had never used them on anyone before. These types of things made me feel awful, but in all honesty, I felt like he deserved every single vowel in those two words. Then I wondered if my family hated me… I knew that my mom didn't because she actually stood up for me, but Al and James set out to make my life miserable. Yes, I had always read about how brothers could act like this, but never, even in books was it this terrible.

I tried to get the words out of my head, but the words wouldn't come out, no matter how hard I hit my head against the wall. No matter how much it hurt me to say it; I knew it had hurt my mother even more to hear it.

Her one and only daughter hated her… so she thought, but I really didn't. The thing was, it was hard to take things back without saying a word. I wasn't a girl of many words, because I had the fear of saying the wrong things.

The phobia of words is called, verbophobia, and I'm not even kidding. My dad thinks I have a severe, untreatable case. If only I could act… normal. I didn't normally believe in the word normal, but it kept on coming up.

Then, maybe just if I was closer to what Al and James are, then everyone could like me. Popularity wasn't my top priority… but who could it really hurt if I was popular?

I trailed closely behind my mother like I had done for so many years, only this time I was pushing my own cart. The realization of me leaving my parents for months on end hadn't sunk into my skin just yet, but I'm guessing that it would after I got on the train.

My mother kissed my forehead just before I told her in a whisper, "I'll miss you mum, and just to remind you, I love you."

She became a mess within seconds of the words slipping from my tongue. Her arms wrapped around my little figure and in between sobs she told me, "I love you too darling." A whistle blew into my ears as I looked at the train, which had steam coming out from it. "You better get going dear; you don't want to miss the train." My mom was wiping the tears off of her cheeks.

I went over to my dad, and he extended his hand out to me, this was the way that we normally greeted, and left each other. Just to break tradition, I gave him a quick, but firm, hug. "I love you" I told him, while rushing onto the train.

My mom ran with the train and I continued to wave to her until she was no longer in sight. Hardly any compartments were empty, until I found a quiet one that was completely deserted.

Not even two minutes after I shut the compartment door, three giggling girls, I would say they were my age, came into the compartment with all of their luggage. "Addie, I really think that your face looks fine, no one will be able to notice the little blemish that you have." The blonde haired girl told the girl with glasses, "Besides, the sorting hat won't care what you look like; it'll put you in a house that you deserve to be in."

"How would you know about all this?" asked the last girl coming into the compartment, "you've never been to Hogwarts either!"

"I know these things, Keely; you're not the only one with brains in here." The blonde haired girl said a little angrily, sitting down across from me, staring out the window, at the passing trees. "You probably just asked your mother." Mumbled the girl named Keely.

"So what if I did? It makes me just that much more smart than you." The one girl said dignified.

The proper way to say it was "smarter" but I wasn't going to say anything, luckily they didn't seem to notice me yet.

"Can we get onto something else," the girl named Addie said, plopping herself right next to me. "Like you" she said smiling at me.

"Me?" I repeated.

"Yeah, you, aren't you excited to meet Lily Potter? She must be amazing, you know, with having great parents like who she does, you would think that her parents would give her amazing genes."

1. I already met her and she isn't what you're expecting, and 2. You would think that I would be super girl, but in all honesty, I have no talent.

"I don't know, I think she'll be stuck up and be a Gryffindor, just like all of her family," by the looks of them so far, none of them looked like Gryffindor students, so I knew I'd be safe in saying that.

"I bet she's modest, and is into the latest fashions." The blonde girl said admiringly to the window.

"The weird thing is, no one has seen her, and you would think that with flaming red hair she'd be easily recognized." Keely said, finally sitting down across from the girl named Addie.

"I just really want to meet her, become like her best friend you know." Addie said, but I knew that she would be really disappointed when she found out it was me.

"I would get her in my inner circle, just to get all the free stuff," note to self, the blonde haired girl really is as selfish as I thought, "get some money off of that sucker."

"That's not what she needs!" Addie almost shouted, "If you were famous and your parents were like that, then you would need real friends instead of galleon diggers."

I was officially out of that conversation, I didn't want to get back into it. Digging out my book from my bag, then reading it to distract me from their conversation was quite easy. They talked about make-up, which the one girl named Keely put too much on, and they discussed what it would be like meeting me. All of them were discussing how I would act, what I would be wearing, and who I looked like more. I just read the words of Nathaniel Benton who captured the mind of me, and kept me interested, and he through curveballs into the story, but none that you would ever expect.

Then, as it got harder for me to read in the dark it made me realize that the girls had all gone to change into their robes. I quickly put mine on, but when I was sliding up my skirt, a boy came into our compartment. Squeaking, I shoved the skirt up high, I was horrible with remembering things. This was the same boy that I had seen in Diagon Alley, he had been the boy I fell on, and now he had just seen my underwear. It could have been worse I guess… it was my polka dot underwear anyways. My face turned completely red when he looked finally at my face, after I readjusted my skirt, "Nice to see you again."

"Yeah," I said weakly to my feet.

"You don't talk much do you?" He asked, lifting my head up with his fingers. He knew who I was, so why was he so damn calm? He was actually smooth, and I was… like silly putty. "No, I guess I don't…" I murmured.

The right side of his face grinned, "You have a really pretty voice though, you should use it more often."

Then, he was gone, with just that… no reason to come barging into my compartment… nope.

One day, maybe we could laugh about this… with his arm around my shoulders… wait, no guy would ever like a girl like me… especially a cute boy. The girls came back within three minutes of my encounter with the dirty blonde haired boy. They didn't ask me why my face was red, but I'm glad that they didn't care.

Hogwarts didn't seem to be such a bad place after all… so far.

_I felt like I needed to get a chapter out, so here it is. I am sending this from my new laptop! Which I got it because my other computer was being lame and slow and was old and had too many bugs in it so this one is such an improvement!  
This chapter had to have humor in it, because the rest of the story is basically sad moment after another sad moment, which is displeasing to hear but never fear for it might work out in the end my dear. :) HA I RHYMED! If I spelt that wrong, I am so sorry for those people who need things spelt right, but I don't want to use spell check on just one word... it seems like a waste. I'm sorry to say but it might be a while till you guys get another chapter out of me because I have a busy schedule, and I know it sucks but school comes before writing... even if it breaks my heart to even type that.  
Anyways, enjoy the new chapter! Don't forget to review!_


	4. Just plaster, I'm different, on my face

_**Please Review!!**_

"Abraham, Adeline" The girl with glasses slowly went up to Mr. Longbottom, who put the sorting hat onto her head. Within seconds, the hat shouted "RAVENCLAW."

No one had talked to me since the boy had, who was actually standing right next to me now, so I tried to not make a fool of myself. "Clearwater, Heidi" it took several minutes to have Heidi Clearwater go to Hufflepuff.

"Davies, Jason" was set into Gryffindor.

The dirty blonde haired boy accidentally brushed up against my hand, he said a quiet "Sorry for bumping into you."

"Flint, Mary" was the blonde girl that I hadn't liked on the train, and I was right when she got put into Slytherin.

"Goldstein, Miles" he took several seconds before getting set into Hufflepuff.

"Harper, Alexander" the brown haired, small nosed boy that I had met in Flourish and Blott's was put into Slytherin with only touching one hair on the boy's head.

I was trying to remember all of their faces so that I would recognize them later if I needed help for any reason. I set them all into categories too, some even had sub-categories.

"Jones, Keely" it took the hat a long time to decide which house she should be in, but it finally decided to put into Hufflepuff.

"Larsen, Jake" Jake was now an honorary Gryffindor, but would I?

"Moon, Tyler" he was placed into Ravenclaw.

"Nott, Natalia" was placed into the house of Slytherin.

"Perks, Matthew" I felt the dirty blonde haired boy move, and now the dirty blonde haired boy had a name… Matthew Perks. He was absolutely gorgeous. Not too long after the hat was placed onto his head, he was sorted into Ravenclaw.

Mr. Longbottom stared at the paper, as if his eyes were tricking him, and with a confused tone he said, "Potter, Lillian." All of the kids looked surprised, and started looking around, and even the older students were looking at us; until I finally stepped out towards the sorting hat and Mr. Longbottom. I had only met Mr. Longbottom once, but I was a little girl and didn't tell him my name because he was a stranger. James and Al told him that I was their foreign exchange student from Finland. When I got up to the final step and turned around, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Even the ones who had thought that this was so boring having to watch all the first years get placed, but they were staring… really badly staring. I looked over to where Matthew Perks was sitting, and he was also looking… I grinned when I saw him and I set myself on the stool.

The hat was placed onto my head, and it told me, "Ah, another Potter, I know just where to put- Oh, I see many troubles in your life… very intelligent… indeed." I couldn't think of what to say to a talking hat, "You try very hard to please everyone, but you are easily persuaded… and very much vulnerable to emotions… but very powerful magic… even more than your father I expect. Not too much courage. Beauty," He paused, "but love is so strong in your heart there is little left for hate." Then I could hear him through my ears, "Better be… RAVENCLAW."

Just plaster "I'M DIFFERENT" right onto my forehead. No one made any noises for the longest time, but when I finally moved towards the Ravenclaw table, they cheered loudly. Almost ear shattering loudly, I heard one of the boys shout, "We've got the other Potter!"

I couldn't look at Al and James's faces, the disappointment, the smirks, and they would most definitely write to mum and dad as soon as they could get the chance. I wanted to cry, I wanted to go back to mum and leave Hogwarts for good, if I wasn't in Gryffindor, then my family wouldn't deem me as being good enough and they would all disown me.

I sat across from Matthew Perks, who kept on smiling at me, but I kept my head down low. I heard many other people get placed into houses, and I heard Hugo get into Gryffindor, which made me the ONLY Weasley or Potter to not be in Gryffindor in this generation, come to think of it… in the past three generations at least. When I heard a shout of Gryffindor, my heart sank a little each time. This was the start of my living nightmare.

When the feast and speeches were finally over I was the only one who wasn't eager to go and see their new common room. I knew what the Gryffindor common room had looked like from all of the pictures that I had seen from my parent's. I didn't want to go and see any other common room; I wanted to be in the Gryffindor one, with my brothers. For once I wanted my family to see that I could be like them. The sorting hat had different plans…

I followed a girl from James's year and she looked nice, maybe James should date her; instead of all the shallow girls that he normally dates. Her name was apparently Susan, but I didn't know her last name yet. Susan would be a waft of fresh air for James. I would actually like to have her be my sister-in-law one day, if that wasn't going to be too much to ask of James.

When we finally got to the door, Susan turned around to us, and told us, "You will need to answer the question to get into the common room. Let's see how smart this year's batch is, shall we?" Then, the door asked us, "If a line is straight, but not existent, then what would you call it?"

"It wouldn't be anything; it would just be a figment of your imagination." I said quickly, not even thinking about it first. Susan smiled widely at me, "Correct!"

The door swung open and I found myself getting red, I let everyone else go in front of me, besides one certain boy who said, "Go in front of me, you did after all, answer the question." Matthew's smile would brighten up a hurricane, I melted for a while, lost in his face, but then I realized that I was slightly staring… or majorly, with a cooing expression on my face. One of his eyebrows raised, and I couldn't find my voice… sometimes it hid on me, normally in the worst moments.

"Are you going to go?" he asked me, when I finally got my voice back.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I guess so." I said, walking through the door, while he followed me. Susan was in mid-sentence, "-then you will be punished if you get caught bringing in a person from another house into the common room."

She paused for a while, "Ravenclaw has standards that most other houses do not have, you are expected to get the best grades out of the school, which isn't going to be difficult, and you must keep good manners while you are here. For some of you, those may be hard things but they are the rules, as a Ravenclaw, you will follow them." Her smile came back as she said, "Now, you can go up to your dormitories, but be reminded that your classes are tomorrow and you are expected to be three minutes early, at the latest."

I didn't want to stay in the common room like all the other girls wanted to, I wanted to get up into bed and sleep for quite some time. This was my home away from home, and sure it would be a lot different, but I hoped that I would have more friends here than I did at home.

No girls followed me upstairs to the dormitory, so for at least now, I had it all to myself. The four poster beds were a dark blue, and I found my trunk with Alice bouncing around in her cage that was on top of the trunk. I grinned and let her out onto my bed, going and changing in the bathroom, and bringing my toothbrush along with me.

When I came back out, I found Addie playing with Alice on my bed, she shot up off the bed and told me, "Oh, hi. I'm sorry but she just looked so cute and…" she finally turned around to see who I was and said "Oh wow, it's you!"

Coming over and shaking my hand with much enthusiasm, she said "I'm Addie Abraham, but you already know that… I'm horrible at first impressions, I'm sorry I didn't recognize you on the train, it's just I've never really met a celebrity before, and with your parents being who they are and…" she stopped talking because of the look I was giving her.

"My parents are the ones that are famous, but I'm not famous, I've never done anything that would make me famous," I told her, and her smile returned to her face.

"You're so modest, but you're the only one in your family that has been accepted into Ravenclaw, not to mention you are the first girl in the Potter family in ages, and you don't have the Weasley red hair." She was telling me all the reasons why my brothers would tease me, only they could think of more off of the top of their head. I wouldn't hold this against her, like she said; she's really bad at first impressions.

"But if my parents weren't famous, then I'd be just like you" I told her, and she let go of my hand, looking bewildered. "No, no, no, no, no, you are much better than me, you're a whole lot smarter, and I have no idea how I got into Ravenclaw. You're pureblood and I'm only half. See, but my mum was in Ravenclaw, so she'll be happy that I got in."

"Lucky you" I mumbled, passing her, and going to put Alice back in her cage. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry."

I turned to her, "What?"

"What do you mean 'What'?"

"What did you say?"

"I said that I didn't mean…"

"The other part."

"I'm sorry?"

It felt oddly weird that someone had said that to me, in fact, I hadn't heard it from anyone else's mouth but my mother's and my own, with the exception of Matthew today when he accidentally bumped into me at sorting. Maybe Addie wasn't that bad of a girl after all, maybe she could be my first friend… hopefully, if I was lucky enough.

"It's just weird hearing that from someone, I guess I don't hear it enough" I told her, as she gave me a little smile.

"I know what you mean."

It didn't need to be said, but right then, we both knew that this was the start of our very first friendships. Those girls on the train weren't really her friends, just people that she latched onto instead of going in alone on a journey. Even she was defending me in the compartment when she didn't know who I really was.

Like the sorting hat said, "Ravenclaw will always find their kind" I now have proof that the sorting hat is mostly right, she chose to sit by me on the train, she could have gone looking for the Lily Potter that she thought that she knew, but she stayed and talked with the other girls. "I'll be right back, I have to go brush my teeth." She told me, but when she came back, I was already fast asleep in my four poster bed, not waiting to meet all of my other roommates.

_Tomorrow is uncatchable, Today is everlasting, and Yesterday is memorable._

_My eyes are burning from staring at my laptop screen and bawling my eyes out today so I will make this quick. I've been sick all day so I found time to type up this chapter and basically this is all I've been doing today, and I hope you like it.  
The thing that is underlined and italicized is actually part of the story, but it was important and very very true if you think about it hard enough. That is the inner Ravenclaw in me, I would hope I would be in Ravenclaw, but most tests say I'm in Gryffindor, which I wouldn't complain about but I also like Ravenclaw too, it's a possibility._

_A glimpse at the next chapter:  
Lily will have her first classes, Lily will also find out more about her friend, and Lily will find out who her enemies are in the next chapter. So stay tuned and please review! I don't have many reviews on this story yet :(_


	5. Charming in Charms

**_Please review! I worked basically all day to get this out to you, so please could you take less than two minutes out of your day to have me do my happy dance? _**

I woke up drowsily to Addie singing loudly to, "My witch became my bride." I threw my pillow at the dancing figure, who wasn't really trying to sing, but she was blasting it out of her vocal chords. I needed another pillow now, because mine was on the floor, "Get up sleepy head!" she squealed, dancing around, "We have classes in an hour."

Looking at my clock, I said, "It's six in the morning, no classes start at seven." She stopped dancing around, "I could have sworn it was eight."

"You're two hours early" I told her, getting up to go get my pillow, "but I needed to shower anyways."

When I came out from the shower, Addie was passed out on her bed. I only took an eight minute shower, yes, but it took forever to dry all of my hair. I wasn't going to wake sleeping beauty up, so I just went in and brushed my teeth. Looking in the mirror, I remembered something that the hat had told me, "Beauty," I couldn't see it in myself. I knew that Ravenclaw students were known for their beauty but I just couldn't see it in me. Addie was pretty, sure, and there was no denying that Matthew Perks was absolutely gorgeous. So, what about me? This was one of the reasons why I found myself not being a true Ravenclaw.

When I came back into the room I noticed that there were now only two four poster beds in the room. Addie was still asleep on her bed, but I couldn't figure out why our beds were the only ones there. I went down to the common room after changing into my school clothes. I found Susan was the only one awake in the common room; other people were asleep on the couches and scattered all over the floor. "I'm glad you didn't have to see this," she told me knowingly, "Everything was a mess last night at the party."

"Uh, Susan, our room had five beds, but now there are only two." She nodded, with an understanding look in her eye.

"The boys needed more beds than you girls did, we only have two Ravenclaw girls, but we have six Ravenclaw boys," she said, "The other two beds were changed colors and were sent to Slytherin and Gryffindor."

"Addie and I are the only Ravenclaw girls?" I repeated.

"Yeah, I think it's quite funny actually, that Addie girl has a really good sense of humor, earlier this morning she came skipping down the stairs, singing that it was almost time for classes, I didn't have the heart to tell her that classes didn't start for another two hours."

"Yeah, she was singing alright," I said, as Susan looked at me more cautiously.

"You seem very different from your brothers," she told me, and I remarked, "That's an understatement, I'm not like my whole family."

Susan smiled, "You're a lot like your mother though." I raised an eyebrow and murmured, "A lot less than you think."

"I know your mother, she helped my mum when the battle of Hogwarts was going on, and she kept on telling her that everything would be alright. My mum made it through that day because of your mum. My mum tried getting me to be nice to your brother in my first year, but, it didn't work. We haven't really talked that much since, but I see your brother Al a lot in the hallways, and I might just have to give him a detention one of these days now that I'm a prefect." Susan told me proudly.

Well there went my chances of getting Susan as a sister-in-law.

"My mum never told me that." I said quietly.

An hour passed by and I continued to talk to Susan. She was really inspirational, and I guess I looked up to her as a role model. Maybe that's what prefects were for.

Addie came down the steps, humming the same tune, "Morning all." She said to the people awake, Susan and I. "I see some people won't be up for their classes."

"Addie, do you want to go down to breakfast?" I asked her, the girl nodded enthusiastically, "I'm starving."

"Do you want to come with us Susan?" I asked her, but she just shook her head, "I have to get all of these people up and cleaned. I'll see you two later on today."

Addie and I were going down to the great hall, when I literally ran into a boy, who also fell down backwards. "Hey- Watch where you're walking you klutz."

Without thinking about it, I said, "Well maybe if your ego weren't taking up half of the hallway my friend and I could get through here."

Alex Harper was brushing himself off, as if I were contaminating him with germs from three feet away. I finally got up and he asked, "What did you say to me?"

"You heard me; maybe you should lessen your huge ego that takes up so much space." I said, a little beside myself… okay, a lot beside myself.

Alex faked being hurt by my comment, and I could tell why he was in Slytherin. "I should have expected nothing less from a Potter." I felt someone step behind me, "You know James, a little Slytherin doesn't care for the way our family acts." I heard Al say in a lighthearted tone, then James's voice said, "Well, I guess we could have a little more etiquette when we hang him by his trousers on one of the Quidditch goal posts by using please and thank you for bashing our family you little twerp."

"I quite agree," Al added, Alex gave me a glowering look before leaving back the way he came. James and Al went in front of me, without a word. Addie watched them in amazement, "Wow, your brothers are totally cool."

"Normally I'm on the receiving end of that conversation" I said a little baffled by how they had defended me. "They've never defended me before."

Addie and I entered the great hall to find that Susan had beat us down here, and when she noticed us, she came towards us with our class schedules, switching her arms around to give us the right schedule. When my eyes scrolled down the list I saw it like this:

_Lillian Luna Potter's Schedule:  
__Potions with Professor Berns  
__Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Chambers  
__Transfiguration with Professor Kenney  
__Flying Lessons with Professor Smith  
__Charms with Professor Flitwick  
__History of Magic with Professor Cartwright  
__Herbology with Professor Longbottom_

_Note that Astronomy is only at nights on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays._

I glanced over at Addie's schedule, and we only had Potions, Transfiguration, Flying Lessons, and Herbology together. Susan flagged down Tyler Moon and gave him his schedule, leaving Addie and I to find a spot at the breakfast table. "At least we have our first class together so we can go to Potions first, and it's right by here, in the dungeons." Addie said hopefully.

Not really paying attention to her, I looked at the boy who had just entered the room, Matthew gorgeously handsome Perks. His deep blue eyes were glancing down happily at his new schedule. I finally realized that Addie had said something that I was supposed to respond to, "Hello? Is anyone in there?" she asked, knocking on my head.

I grinned, and said, "I guess they went on their breakfast break early."

Addie laughed as gorgeous Matthew Perks came by us, I kept my eyes off of him as he passed, but I could tell that his bright smile was shining onto me. Smiling to myself, I took a bite out of my toast. "We better get to class soon; we don't want to be late for our first class on our first day."

Yes, we had just gotten to breakfast, and yes, I hadn't really eaten a proper thing since three days ago at lunch, but I really wanted to see what the dungeons looked like. "What is your rush?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see the dungeons, although Al and James told me that it's cold down there, especially in the winter they said." Was I supposed to believe my brothers? Maybe so, but I would have to see the place for myself if I was going to do it right.

Potions wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, but it helped to have Matthew sit right next to me, he was intellectual. He wasn't like Al and James, if you used a big word he wouldn't try and find a dirty word that would go with it. Professor Berns was wise, but he stuttered, it was slightly distracting when listening to him. I couldn't get all of his words clearly, but I think I got most of the expectations right.

After Potions, Addie and I had to split up, she had Charms, and I had Defense Against the Dark Arts. Matthew was also in this class, I was glad to see a friendly face in this class, because he was the only one that I really 'knew.' Professor Chambers, you could tell that he really had a fun time in his youth with drinking. He wasn't very old, but getting there. I could tell that I wouldn't like him as much of a teacher and he would be very harsh on me, since my parents are absolutely perfect at everything that they attempt to do or succeed in doing.

Then I met back up with Addie at Transfiguration. Matthew was also in this class, I checked. Professor Keeney was actually interesting to listen to, and she had some very good points. I did well with teachers, they regularly liked me, and I didn't even have to be a suck up to them, I was just the student that they like. Nice, Quiet, and doesn't need to be taught step by step in a slow moving process. I wished that this class would never end. I didn't want what was coming next.

Flying Lessons. There was just something about heights that made me want to scream and shout and I never wanted to attempt to fly. I had only tried it once, when James and Al dared me to do it, and I fell six feet to the ground, landing with a hard thud. They got their tongues soaked good for that one, because I was only eight. Dad flipped out when he found out that James and Al had done it, not because of my safety, but because it was his very expensive firebolt that could have been damaged.

Later on that week James accidentally broke it.

Flying was not a thing that I wanted to relive, besides, I was afraid of heights. This would not be a good mix for me. When Transfiguration was let out, I wanted to go and find some excuse not to go to lessons. Randomly get the flu, have a laugh attack for no apparent reason, anything that would get me out of flying. The worst part was Matthew also had that class, and I really didn't want to look like an idiot while being on a broomstick that I really didn't want to be on. The thought scared me, and I already wanted to be on ground.

Addie and I made our way to the front entrance to Hogwarts, then we came down the steps and out to some little part of land that didn't have any trees or things that we could potentially bump into. The woman standing by the pile of broomsticks must have been Professor Smith, but I couldn't help but notice that she had a real bitchy look to her. Then maybe again, it might just be the way her face looks all the time.

"Pick up a broom and don't do anything with it, just stand and hold it until your other classmates get here" yep, she was certainly bitchy, and it wasn't just her face. Tyler Moon and Matthew Perks came right after us. Following them were Miles Goldstein, Keely Jones, and Heidi Clearwater. Then lastly, a whole bunch of kids that I didn't know came down, along with Mary Flint, Alex Harper, and Jake Larsen.

"You're late" she said angrily.

"We had classes all the way on the other side of the building!" whined a tired Mary Flint, who faked being out of breath.

"No excuses, if your group is late again to my class then you will be getting a detention." I wondered who did this woman wrong, and how could we turn the angry button off.

She turned over to the people who had been here for a while now and said in a slightly nicer tone, "Thank you for being here promptly and these people over here are an example of what you should not be like or become in the future."

Professor Smith took a deep breath and said "for the people who were late, you sit out in class, you won't be able to ride a broom today, that is my final word, now go and sit and watch your classmates attempt to fly. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, OH GOD. Why did this have to happen to me? Out of all things?

She told us how to do it first, and then she demonstrated. I wasn't too thrilled about trying it, then she pointed to the boy on the end of the line. "You go first, hover, then come back down."

Miles looked horrified that he would have to do this alone, but he got through it fine. Professor Smith nodded, but didn't tell him any instructions. Addie was on my right, so was Miles, but to my left was Heidi Clearwater, who was shaking nervously. Tyler Moon was up next; he hovered, and well, fell back down to ground. The Slytherins laughed but Professor Smith was quick to shut them up. Then, along came absolutely attractive Matthew Perks. He hovered with such ease. Keely Jones was next, but she started bawling before she even started to mount her broom. Professor Smith made her go sit down with the late kids to calm down.

Addie mounted and hovered with a slight ease, but she squeaked when her broom wouldn't let her down as quickly as she wanted to go down. As if to not have noticed me, Professor Smith told Heidi to go, her face drained of color, and she almost fainted. Heidi did fine, but she would have done better if she wasn't shaking so badly. Professor Smith addressed the other students, but then I saw Matthew raise his hand high. When she turned around to see his hand raised, she asked in a drained voice, "Yes?"

"You skipped Lily." He told her.

"Who?"

"Lily Potter," Matthew pointed over to me, my shiny black hair partly in my face. I didn't know how to feel, I was happy that he knew my name, but also frightened at the fact that this meant I had to fly in front of everyone.

Mrs. Smith gave me another look, only this time she squinted her eyes, "Well bless my soul." I heard her murmur, "Another Potter…"

Admittedly, I knew that this was the only class that Al and James had been the teacher's pet. They always raved about how she was such an amazing teacher, but I guess they only liked the part where they got to fly. "Well then, let's see what you can do, but by your family, I'm sure that you'll have no problem with this."

In my head, this thought came to mind, "Yeah right."

I just had troubles getting the broom to come up to me, mounting it and all that was difficult. I wasn't very smooth in air, but I did it, and if I were to have been inches higher, I would have had a meltdown. When I dismounted, I could tell that Professor Smith was definitely not impressed by my work. "That's all the time we have today children, have a good lunch."

I was happy to leave the presence of that cranky old lady, to be honest; I felt that people like her are making this world a worse place to live in. When I entered the great hall, I sat down with Addie and we discussed our first feelings about riding a broom, but that conversation ended quickly and we both started discussing how we thought that our other classes would pan out.

I told her how Professor Chambers had an old drinking problem in his younger days, also the fact that she was more than likely not going to like him. In return, she told me how Professor Flitwick is really nice, really short, and very emotional. With our new knowledge, we headed off to classes on our own separate ways.

Matthew sat by me in charms and he kept on whispering little things that were really funny into my ear. In response, I gave a quiet giggle, but every once and a while, Professor Flitwick would look over at us, and I couldn't help myself from letting out another giggle. I paid attention to most of what the older Professor had to say, but let's face it, when a cute boy talks to a girl like me; you take the chance and listen to him, because he may never talk to me again.

The next class was History of Magic, and Matthew and I figured out that we had the exact same schedule, which I was very pleased to find out. "Maybe it was fate" he told me, and in a soft voice I said, "Yeah, maybe." At that same time, Professor Cartwright might have been telling us something very important, but I for once, didn't care about academics, I had finally seen that boys no longer had cooties.

The final class was Herbology with Professor Longbottom. When we got into the greenhouses, he had us take heavy books that had living plants literally growing out from the pages. I was proud of myself in not having to answer any questions of teachers today, it was an all time goal of mine to never have to speak to teachers in the first week.

Matthew went and sat over by Tyler Moon, Miles Goldstein, and Jake Larsen. Addie and I sat on the other side of the room by Keely Jones and a Slytherin girl who was almost late, but I didn't know her name.

"Welcome class to your first Herbology class," the Professor said, "I see some new faces and some faces I've seen before, once or twice."

Hiding behind my bangs I deliberately didn't look at him. "Anyways, I think that Herbology is a fascinating subject-" He went on and on and on about how plants could really be cool and exciting. I never really fancied plants, but he talked about them with such an enthusiastic tone that it made me want to learn. I always wanted to learn, yes, but this time it was different. "Now, let's see here… Miss Potter" he said, I shot my head up, my white face showing. "Yes Professor?"

"For some extra house points, can you tell me what gillyweed does?"

I knew this one; I had been reading my school books all summer, "Gillyweed is a type of plant that can give you gills and webbings in your toes and fingers."

"Excellent, can you tell me a person who has used gillyweed?"

How in the heck am I supposed to know if a person has used gillyweed or not? "Umm… No, I can't sir." I told him, feeling rather stupid.

"No one?" he asked, as if to give me a clue.

I shook my head.

"Can anyone else answer this question?" Professor Longbottom asked to the class, as I saw Matthew's hand shoot upward. "Mr. Perks?"

"Harry Potter has sir." He said, giving me a look of half guiltiness, half embarrassed that he knew it. "He used it in the Triwizard tournament against Viktor Krum."

"Who is now the new Head Master of Durmstrang, yes, correct, another ten points for Ravenclaw." Professor Longbottom announced happily.

I raised my hand, then Professor Longbottom called on me, I asked, "What's the Triwizard Tournament?"

Several kids in my class looked at me horrified, as if I had asked something terribly wrong, and the others were dumbstruck that I could have asked such a stupid question. "Your father never told you what the Triwizard Tournament was?" Mr. Longbottom asked, clearly bemused.

"No, he never mentioned it to me." I told him.

For the rest of the class period Mr. Longbottom went into great detail about Triwizard Tournaments.

This wasn't the most exciting part of my day but it was better than having to take notes on which plant was which. When we went down to dinner, Alex Harper was waiting angrily at the door for us; he pulled me aside and said, "Now look here, I don't get disrespected like that and have you get away with it, you need to treat me with respect."

"When have you shown any respect to me?" I retorted, equally angry.

"Just do what I say" he said angrily, getting a grip on my arm.

"Don't touch me," I said, through my gritted teeth.

He grabbed me harder and said, getting closer to my face, "there is nothing you can do about it, so keep this up, and it'll be hurting a lot more."

His face was furious, and I pulled my arm away, and I felt it burn a little. "Your brothers won't always be here to save you Potter, remember that."

Right then and there, I had made my first ever enemy, and what was in store next for us, I would have never imagined in my whole entire life.

_Hey look at this! I got it out within 26 hours of the last one coming out, yay. I'm still sick, but I had to get this out because on thurday I have play practice from 9am-3pm and I can't miss it. Also, I am going to see my sister who is in college so I won't be on for a while to post things, so I needed to get this out for myself, and I still have another story to update, I am calling it a day/night because it is 4:18 where I live and I'm really really tired right now. I don't have school tomorrow if that's what your wondering, my school has conferences, so no I don't have school.  
I hope you liked it, and the next chapter... I don't know what is exactly in store yet, but I am guessing it will have something to do with a budding romance, and it's not the one that you are thinking :) muuuaahhhhaaaa  
I'm sorry, but my suspense off button isn't working today, tee hee._

_PLEASE REVIEW!!_


	6. The post

**_Please Review, thanks (:_**

The next few days dragged by slowly, until Saturday, when Al came up to me one day at lunch, he threw a letter onto my lap and said, "From mum." He threw a separate letter also on my lap a few seconds later, "From dad."

Then, he sounded even less thrilled, "From Teddy." He said, throwing the last letter into my lap. "The ruddy owl can't tell me from you, it's just sad." When I knew he was actually upset that Teddy had written to me, and not Al. Teddy wasn't really related to us, yet, but he was the person that I have ever gotten closest to. Even when I was younger, he could always get me to smile by changing his hair color. It was slightly disappointing that he wasn't in Hogwarts anymore, but he was like dad and he was going to become an Auror. Victoire would soon be his wife, hopefully, so that would make him an official part of our family. Teddy also stood up for me when ever Al or James, or anyone for that matter was picking on me. These were the many reasons why I wanted him to get a move on and propose to Victoire so he could be in our family.

Al left the table and went over to sit by his friends, I opened up my dad's letter first, and I was going in order of least fun letters to the most exciting letter.

_Dear Pumpkin,  
__I heard that you got into Ravenclaw! I knew you were smart! Have you met any new friends? Your mum's been really worried about you, but I know that you're my tough girl and can get through this. Make sure that Al and James are being nice, and if they aren't, George told me that he was trying out a new project that he would let you have first before it gets onto shelves. But be sure not to tell Al and James._

_With much Love,_

_Dad_

Addie had been reading over my shoulder and she said, "That might be useful, even if it's not Al and James. I bet you could use it on Alex Harper and get away with it, have James and Al help you with planning."

I didn't say anything but just smiled a little. A brown barn owl came and dropped off Addie's mail; another owl came and gave her the Daily Prophet.

She skimmed over the top few lines and said, "What a bunch of baloney, I don't know why mum sends me this."

I started ripping open the envelope to mum's letter when Addie let out a little shriek, "Lily, would anyone by chance know that you're in Ravenclaw?"

"Uh, I guess so…" I said, not looking up from the envelope, but Addie shoved my nose right next to the front page to make it impossible to read. "I can't read that."

She held it back a little as I read the big part of the page, "Toe Fungus curses baldness?" I asked stupidly, reading the headline.

"The other one, down at the bottom in the right corner," she told me impatiently, my eyes swerved down the page.

I read the headline aloud as I was reading, "Potter's daughter revealed- wait WHAT!" The last part came out very squeakily and the people nearby stared at me with confused looks.

There, in that little spot in the corner of the Daily Prophet, they had a picture of me in Diagon Alley, with my mum and dad. It was when they were both holding my hands so that I could keep up with them. With the words beneath it, Ginerva and Harry Potter do some shopping with their youngest daughter Lillian. Underneath that were the words, continued in section four page five. I hastily flipped through the pages, to get to section four, page five.

This time I didn't read it out loud, for the fear of squeaking again.

"Little is known about the eleven year old girl with shiny black hair like her father, Harry Potter, who defeated he-who-must-not-be-named, but her eyes are like her mother's. Ginerva Potter was a professional Quidditch player, who had previously been possessed by you-know-who. They also have two sons, James and Albus, but on this day Lillian got a little mom and dad time to herself. It seems weird, because Lillian doesn't look like your typical Weasley, or Potter for that matter. Her hair is shiny and black and her eyes are brown, but both of these characteristics are common in children. James and Albus don't look much like their sister and her parents don't really look that much like her either. The Potters have been known for their privacy, but it seems odd that this is the first ever picture that the public has seen of little miss Lillian Potter-" I knew where they were going with this, James and Al had on many occasions told me the same thing, but now it was for everyone to see. "Suspicions have arisen with this 'new' Potter and how she got there. This could only mean one thing, that they had adopted this unknown girl and called her their own." I stopped reading, I only had a few sentences left but I could hold myself to read them. I got off of the bench, and crumpled up the paper as hard as I could into one little ball, before throwing it hard on the ground. I picked up all of my letters and books. After that, I ran out of the great hall, I knew that everyone was staring at me, but to be honest, I didn't care then. It didn't matter to me, not then, and not three seconds before then.

I didn't know that I was capable of running this fast, I guess I never tried. I accidentally slammed into someone, my stuff being uplifted, and flying all over the hallway. "Whoa, where are you rushing to?" Came Matthew's voice; he was also knocked down to the floor. I tried to push all my stuff into one pile, but he took my wrist, it wasn't like Alex had done, it was softer. My head slowly rose to his, the tears on my face now in clear daylight. "Are you okay?" he was genuinely concerned, good old Matthew, he was always thinking of others.

Not wanting to lie to him, I shook my head, so his follow up question was "Anything I can help you with?" He was picking up one of the several books that I had in my hands.

It was supposed to come out slightly confident, but it just came out of my lips weakly "I-I don't think you can."

I took my hand out of his grip, but he still had a few of my books. "Obviously something is bothering you, just let me feel useful once, you seem to not be having the best time that you could be at Hogwarts. I mean, it's great here."

He made me nervous, so I stayed away from his eyes, I wiped off the tears that had fallen down my face previously, and murmured, "Unless you can prove to people that I am my parent's child, then you can't help me. It's like what Al and James have always told me, and to see it written on paper that everyone else sees, it's just…" I made the mistake of looking into his eyes, I quickly looked away, but the pity he had for me made me feel even worse than I already had. "…it's just hard."

Matthew took his hand, and he placed the hair in my face to behind my ear. "When you smile, that's definitely your mum's smile." He told me, "Your eyes are like your mum's, the black hair is your dad's, but it's shiny and smooth like your mum's." Then, he touched my hair, he admittedly had the worst timing in the world, "Your cute little nose is like your dad's, only his isn't as cute as yours." Matthew gave my nose a light tap, making me smile a little more.

"You studied the way my dad's nose looks?" I asked, in a quiet giggly voice.

"It doesn't matter, as long as I can see his daughter's smile," he said as quiet as I had, "and the fact that he doesn't kill me for doing this…"

Then, it happened; my first kiss was with Matthew Perks, the most gorgeous boy in all of the earth. He just leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. It wasn't like, you're in France, this was my first kiss, and no one could ever take it away from me. Matthew saw how red my face got and smiled, then, this escaped from my lips "I don't care if he minds; you can do that whenever you want."

Matthew grinned from ear to ear and said, "I might just have to take you up on that one again."

He put my books onto my pile of stuff, and said, "By the way, you can call me Matt, you know, for future references."

Then, I saw him get up, and walk away. Matt was the strangest boy to ever walk the face of the earth, but I was probably the strangest girl, so we worked out well. I picked up all of my things and headed slowly to the common room. This time, I would not run into anyone, which I had a tendency of doing. When I got up to our dormitory, I plunked myself on my bed and sat there.

His name rang repeatedly in my head, "Matt."

I couldn't stop smiling, but at the same time, I couldn't help but remember that article that someone wrote about me. Someone opened up the door, and Addie looked at me and said, "I'm sorry for the article."

"It's just words, and at least I know that I'm like my parents in many ways."

Addie gave me a second glance and out of nowhere this question came out of her mouth, "Did you get kissed?"

Over these few days that I have known Addie, she is very much into boys, all kinds of them, and she has a great sense of things that had happened. In most cases she is right, particularly in the subject of boys. My face gave it away, and her eyes lit up, "You did get kissed!"

"Who says I didn't kiss him?" I asked her.

"I do, because I know you." She told me, hopping onto my bed, "now tell me who it was, and every little detail."

So I did, I told her every little detail, without ever mentioning his name, and she was going crazy by the time I had finished, "You're keeping me on the edge of my hypothetical seat woman, now who was it!"

"It was Matt." I said, with a smile.

"Matt?" She asked, confused at first, then, her eyes widened, "Matthew Perks kissed you?!"

"Wow, you're slow at that game" I said with a laugh.

"I just never heard his nickname that you gave him" Addie said with a laugh.

"He just told me that I could call him Matt, for future references." Addie couldn't stop smiling at me, "You really like him, don't you."

"I have since I met him, but he's so mysterious. I mean I like puzzles, but with boys it just makes everything more complicated and I don't like it." Addie gave me an all knowing smile, while she nodded her head.

"Yeah, boys are like that, but I want you continue getting 100 on everything that you do, because if your A+ average goes down, then we're going to have a problem." She laughed and I nodded.

"I know that academics are really important and all… but Matt is just, he's just this really amazing guy." I said quietly, as if other people were in the room.

"Okay, will I be heard about Matthew Perks for the rest of my life?" She asked lightheartedly.

"Only if you listen to me the rest of your life" we both burst out laughing, and she put her hand on my shoulder and patted it twice, "You'll be fine."

I wanted to believe Addie, but in all seriousness, was I going to be fine?

_Keep reading to find out :)_

_I know that I said it would be a different relationship budding, but I didn't really have time to put in that relationship. I might next chapter, also, I know that Teddy's letter and Ginny's letter aren't in here, but it wasn't because of my lasiness, I wanted to get this chapter out earlier and those letters would have to be hard to place__. Lily replied to them and they were just wondering what it was like in Gryffindor. Teddy said that if anyone was giving her trouble, he'd come down there and kick their asses. _

_Also, Please Review!!_


	7. Compartment Scares

**_Please Review!_**

"Come on Lily! Don't be late for the train; come on pack up your stuff already!" Addie hollered at me. "We're leaving in eighteen minutes Lily!" I normally wasn't a procrastinator, but I was just running so slowly that day, I didn't want to do anything. I came down with my trunk; very fatigued I dragged it along the corridor, having Addie yell behind her shoulder that I should hurry up. The past two years dragged me down so much, I kept my A+ average, which made my parents very happy, but I wasn't happy.

It was the feeling of loneliness that slowed me so down. When we got out to the train station, I stopped to hear a neighboring conversation, "Mary, how many times have I told you-"

"Mattie Poo, don't do this to me," she said, playing with his tie, and she was specifically looking towards me, "You know how much I've been planning for this summer."

Mary felt through Matt's dirty blonde hair, "Mary, I don't like-"

Then, she did the unthinkable; she wrapped her arms around Matt, and planted her lips straight onto his. I knew that Mary Flint hated me, but I didn't think that she was this terrible. In her defense, he seemed to be enjoying himself too. I wanted to cry, I wanted to so badly right at that moment, and I felt the tears slowly come into my eyes as they broke apart, my bottom lip quivered. "Oh, hi Lily, we didn't see you over there" She said happily, Matt turned around to see my face.

He looked absolutely ashamed of himself, he didn't know what to say to me, and I didn't really want to say anything to him. When he opened his mouth, Mary went closer to him, and was too close to him for my liking, ten lightyears away would be too close to him. "We aren't-" he started to say, but I just walked away. I couldn't take the look of guilt on his face; also I knew that Mary was just trying to get to me. Well, she succeeded.

Mary Margret Flint had it out to get me ever since she found out that I was Harry Potter's daughter. I didn't like her either, but I didn't determinately make her life a living hell. Which is exactly what she was doing to me, trying to get me to get a question wrong, but in all honesty, she just makes me work harder to do things, to be better. I know that this isn't a healthy relationship that we built, but it's the way that we built it. Addie was in a compartment by herself when I opened the door, the tears still stuck in my eyes, "You would think that Martha Rothstein would have a more interesting life than to be begging me details on what the new news is."

She didn't look up at me, and I was glad for it, I wiped off my eyes and sat down beside her. "You would think."

"I know, she's just so impossible to deal with, wanting to know every little detail about the new gossip, when there isn't-"

"I saw Mary Flint kissing Matthew Perks," I tried to sound casual, as I looked at my hands that were placed neatly in my lap, "Maybe that would satisfy her need for gossip until she gets back."

I didn't need to look up, but I knew the look that Addie was giving me. "Oh Lily, I'm so sorry about that."

Twisting my fingers around, but I said nothing. "Matt would be crazy if he didn't like you, I mean, you're very pretty, that's why you're in Ravenclaw and not in Gryffindor."

Addie didn't know it, but it still hurt to know that I wasn't in Gryffindor; my parents didn't act like anything was different about it. In all honesty, I knew that it mattered, a whole lot. "He'd be crazy to like me, no one else but you talks to me, unless if they absolutely have to." I felt the train start up, and we gained momentum, "but I don't see what you see then, because I obviously don't feel pretty."

I felt her pity look sink through my clothes, so I said this, "besides, Matt wouldn't like me as more than an acquaintance anyways, I'm not pretty, and I have pancakes compared to you."

It was true, Addie had a "great summer" before she came back to Hogwarts for her third year, and I stayed the same as I always have been. Addie just brushed it off her shoulder, "You'll get some, I bet fifth year every guy will be drooling over you," I looked down, and knew it was just hopeful thinking, "Matthew Perks won't even know what hit him, then, he'll be wishing that he had seen it before, he pleads you for forgiveness. I can see it now, the new headline being 'Potter gets boobs! The extraordinary thing that happened to Lillian Potter over her summer'" Addie laughed but I just stayed quiet. I had been the talk of most of the wizarding world for quite some time now. Not just because of my parents, but because I was doing so well in school, they offered that I be pushed up to fourth year early, but I refused to leave Addie in that one dormitory by herself.

Addie sighed and said, looking at me with an all too understanding look, "You love him don't you"

"Don't be ridiculous, I don't love him." I said, determinately looking out the window to avoid Addie's eyes. "He's just a boy." The way it came out of my mouth made me want to shove those words back in, no, he wasn't just a boy, _he_ was supposed to be _my_ boy.

"No he isn't, not to you." Addie told me, but when she ended her sentence, the compartment door flew open. Alex Harper stood where the door use to be, "Potter, I need a word." He glared.

I waited for him to do something, but he sighed and said with as little contempt as he could, "Alone."

Addie gave me a confused look, as I got up, to go and follow Alex to where ever it was. He grabbed a hold of my arm before I really knew why, but when I saw the hallway, I knew why he had grabbed onto me. The hallway was as crowded as it had ever been; I never remembered it being this bad before. "Come on," he told me, through his teeth, without moving them. I obeyed, and followed him to where ever it was. We passed by Al and James, Al gave me a look worthy of being confunded when he saw Alex's arm wrapped around my wrist.

We passed through Mary and Matthew, who could not stop staring at Alex's hand that was holding onto my arm. He looked as though he wanted to snap it off, but after we passed, Mary latched onto Matt, then I turned back to face forward.

He lead me to the back part of the train, and into a door, he made me go first, then he went in himself, closing, and locking the door behind him. Alex let go of me, and his hard look softened a bit. "So, er- what are you doing for the summer?"

I raised an eyebrow, Alex had never tried to get to know me, he was always the first person to tease me about the latest headline. When the papers hadn't found anything new on me, he would just make up the stupidest lies and spread them around school, they were always about me. I knew I could never fully hate anyone, but I really didn't like Alex Harper. "Why? Are you going to make some sick joke about how I'm really not a part of my family and how my parents stole magic and put it into me?" it was his latest and sickest lie that he had come up with yet.

"No, I was just wondering." He said, and I could tell he was being honest because he was looking straight at me, and not at my hair.

"Oh," I said, a little bit confused, "Well, just spending it with my family I guess, why are you so curious about my life all the sudden?"

"Can't a man wonder?" I couldn't stop it, but I let out a laugh.

"Since when have you become a man?" I asked, as he actually looked a little bit hurt by my laughing. So I said quietly, "I'm sorry to strip you of your manhood, but you are still thirteen after all."

"I'm sorry that you have no womanhood yet," he said, not looking at me, because he knew that I was mad, "but I'm sure Matthew Perks will be kicking himself when you do."

"Have you just brought me here to verbally attack me? Or was there a reason as to why I'm stuffed in luggage compartment with you?" I asked irritably.

"Oooh, I hit a nerve with that Matthew Perks thing didn't I" he said rather pleased with himself, "If this is all you have to say to me, then I'm leaving."

He moved in front of the door, "No, don't leave, please don't…. I mean…"

"You what?" I asked with anger clearly in my voice.

"I didn't mean it like that, I'm just as upset about that as you are, I mean Mary is just doing it to get at you and me," he said in an as a matter of fact tone, "She is just trying to get me jealous, and you. Maybe I- maybe we- maybe we should… uhhh."

"Maybe we should what?" I asked, but a second after he opened his mouth, the door was being beaten on, then a voice came, "Oi, what the ruddy hell is my sister doing in a room locked up with a Harper?"

James, no doubt that Al was right next to him, agreeing with his words. This absolutely could not be worse. I covered Alex's mouth, and motioned that he better go into one of the suitcases. He shot that idea down and we both went behind several heavy trunks that couldn't fit into the regular compartments. Then the door came open, Alex and I crouched down further, our faces way too close for my liking. "Lily, we know you're in here, same with you Harper, so I suggest that you get your butts out here so that we can settle this whole thing out straight."

Neither of us moved, I didn't know why I didn't just shove Alex out into their view, and run for my life. Al and James started throwing back luggage carts when a familiar voice started yelled "HEY! What are you two doing?!"

"Lily and Harper are in here somewhere, I would have thought that you-"

"Lily is in the bathroom you twat," Addie's voice came annoyed.

"But we saw her go in-"

"Just like you two saw bigfoot, now come on, out of the luggage compartment, you don't need to go making more trouble for yourselves," Addie had taken onto their ears and shoved them out, whispering an "You owe me" before shutting the door.

I was able to breathe again, Alex looked the same way, "Now what were you blabbering about before my brothers interrupted?"

"It was-" he looked as though he were contemplating on telling me a lie or the truth, "I was thinking that maybe we give them a taste of their own medicine." He said more confidently.

"By doing what exactly?" I asked, looking at him.

"Uh… well, you know how I always make jokes about you?"

"That's come up sometimes, yes" I said, not trying to be annoyed, but I was.

"I just think that- maybe we should forget about all of that for a while and focus on getting Mary and Matthew back for what they did to us." He told me, we were still crouched down, and his hand went onto my knee.

"I don't think that revenge is the best way to deal with things," I said as his hand slowly went down my leg and to my foot. "It just ends up really messy."

"Just go out with me," he said, a little more forcefully.

"I'm not going to go out with you just because you want to get back at Mary Flint, in my opinion, she isn't worth the trouble." I said, and his expression seemed to tense up.

"I won't take no for an answer" he told me.

I stopped, then I got up. He was really starting to scare me now, his anger was clearly visible. His fingers wrapped around my arm again, but this time it hurt, his nails were digging into my skin, surely they would leave a mark. "Let me go." I said, a little shaken by this all.

"Not until you say yes." His eyes bore into my soul, as if he were trying to do something. He was truly hurting me, then, I saw blood come out from my skin.

"Are you mad?" I asked, trying to tug my arm away, but he just dug into my skin harder. "I told you, that I am not accepting a no."

"Alright fine, I will." I said in desperation to get my arm free from his grasp. He let go, but his smug appearance showed, I saw his grin. I grabbed a hold of my other arm, and looked at the blood coming out, it wasn't a lot, but it sure did hurt. "Excellent" he sneered, getting up.

The thought that I had actually accepted to be Alex Harper's girlfriend was simply unbearable to think right now. I had to deal with him, "There is more where that came from if I hear another no." My eyes widened, "Just keep this quiet until the summer is over, I don't want it leaking out just yet."

He then did something that I wasn't expecting; he started kissing me, only… it hurt, a lot. It didn't feel like anything, and I pushed him back, having him thud against the wall. Something fell onto his head, and he looked angrier than I had ever seen him before. His face was positively livid with rage; Alex came at me and pushed me up against the nearest wall, which was to my back. "What the hell is wrong with you?! I kiss you and you push me away!" he screamed, my face was inches away from his, but I didn't take being yelled at well.

I said nothing, as he held on tightly to my shoulders, basically screaming words into my face. "I am Alex Harper, and you will not be denying my wishes!" was all I could understand from his yelling.

His hands were so tight on my shoulders that it hurt, "Do you got me?!" he screamed, his red face so close to mine he was almost spitting on me.

"Cristal clear" I murmured. Alex was considerably taller than I was, so when he was yelling at me, he seemed even bigger than he actually was. He seemed to calm down a bit, but then said with a tight grin, "Now where were we?"

I gave a squeak and moved my head once before he could reach my lips, "I think that we should save it for later, you know, when it's in front of Matt and Mary, so that they're really surprised."

He tilted his head slightly, and said, "But it looks like you need the practice, and I sure as hell won't let you practice on anyone else…"

Alex still had grip on my shoulders, and he pushed me towards him, harshly. His lips crashed onto mine, like they had before, his lips moved but mine were frozen shut, no way in hell was I going to let his tongue get into my mouth. He pulled away and looked at me, his voice now calm and soothing, "Come on Lily, don't be shy, I know you can kiss better than that."

I shook my head no, and I insisted that we wait through the summer, since we weren't really supposed to be going out till then. He finally accepted that I wouldn't kiss him "properly" until everyone had found out. Alex finally left out of the door to leave me alone in the compartment. I felt dirty, like I needed eight showers just for my lips and my leg.

I knew that this was just the beginning of what was yet to come. This was going to be one hell of a ride that I was definitely not ready for.

_Okay, hi, if your angry, then sorry. I just uhmmm... well, this story is not going to be a really happy one for Lily, so if you think that this is bad, then stop reading right now. If you are still here, then good, you didn't think that this chapter was that bad and in all honesty, it wasn't too terribly bad in my opinion. But thanks for reading and please review :)_


	8. Cornered in a Corridor

**_Please Review!_**

The summer could not have been long enough, and when I got to Hogwarts, I was absolutely drained from everything that had happened.

To catch you up, I'll put a little refresher right here.

Alex came over several times to my house, one of which he pinned me up against the wall and screamed in my face because I refused to "practice" with him. He hadn't come over since that night. Al kept on asking me what was wrong, but I refused to tell him anything. Yes, I was closer to Al than I was to James but even this I couldn't tell him. Teddy wasn't coming over as often, which made me worry; he just said that he had Auror training that had to be done.

This year, James wouldn't be there to help out with any problems if we had any, and I have to admit that he is more intimidating than Al is. I refused to talk to Matt all summer, even when he came over, I would tell my mom to say that I had the flu. Mary Flint was continuously interfering and ruining my life, which was already sucking up the place. Then, my pygmy puff, Alice, died three days before I had to go back to Hogwarts, forcing me to find a new pet and mourn over my lost friend for less than two hours.

Since we just had a family owl, I thought to get one so that I could send letters to Teddy secretly if I wanted to. It was little and cute, but it could never replace Alice. Who knew that pygmy puffs only lived for five years? George apparently did when I told him the news, and he was surprised that she had lived as long as she had.

Addie and I kept in touch but I felt weird around her, when she came over once for a sleep over, I felt very distant from her.

This was my summer, and as Addie had predicted, I hadn't "grown" this summer, and even my height stayed the same, but I was glad I didn't add any pounds onto me.

Addie and I went up to our dormitory to crash after a long day of traveling when she asked me, "So what did you do all summer?"

"The usual" I mumbled, "You?"

"Well, I got a boyfriend" she said airily, "and I painted my toenails."

"Mhhhmmm, fun" I said, not paying attention to what she had actually said, as she looked a little angrily at me, "What's your problem?"

"Now I have a problem do I?" I asked, she raised both of her eyebrows at me, "Yeah, you're the one who isn't listening to anything I say."

"Well maybe I have a lot on my mind, ever think of that?" I asked her, as she took a step back from my bed.

"What happened to you?"

"He happened." I muttered.

"Who is he? Matt?"

"No, not ruddy Matthew fricking sticks his tongue down Mary Flint's throat Perks" I said, climbing angrily into bed, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Now hold on, you can't just do that!" she said, her eyes wide with anger and surprise. I ignored her and pushed my pillow hard into my head, blocking her voice out.

Alex had cornered me on the train, forcing me to have a "practice" session with him. It made my lips numb and I hated him for doing this to me.

When I woke up, Addie was still asleep, so I changed my clothes and quickly left the dorm. I went down to breakfast early, but this was a mistake, Matt came over to me and said through gritted teeth, "We need to talk, now."

I followed him out to the entrance hall and asked "What?"

"Why have you been avoiding me all summer? You wouldn't answer any of my letters and you were pretending to be sick when I came…"

"I was busy this summer, unlike you who had nothing better to do than to pester me with letters and coming when I clearly was ill-"

"Don't play that way Lily, we both know that you've been avoiding me all summer because of what happened when we last saw each other" he said, exasperatedly. "Addie told me that you'd been acting weird. I told her that you had been avoiding me, but had no idea about it."

"Oh Addie talked to you, did she?" I asked, trying to sound irritated with Matt, but it was really hard to be mad at him.

"Yes, she did, she was really concerned about you because she told me that you were gone for most of the train ride here and you were in a sour mood when you got back." He said, he could be blunt, but he could have also said worse.

"I wasn't in her compartment for most of the ride here, yes, but I really don't think that is any of your business." I told him, walking past his shoulder, but he turned me around, with his hand on my shoulder… making my stomach get all butterfly filled.

"Lily, this isn't like you, you aren't like this…"

I ignored him and brushed his hand off of my shoulder, no matter how much it killed me on the inside, and all the butterflies had closed their wings. Heading off to the only place where I really belonged… the library. If I was going to keep on task, I would have to read two books a day to read the entire Hogwarts library, and I had successfully gotten around half of them done throughout my first years.

"Hey baby," The voice sent chills all the way down to my toes, an arm wrapped itself around my shoulders, having Alex come closer to me. I didn't want to be touched right now, holding my hand would have even irritated me so badly. "Where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked.

"Library," I said without hesitation. His arm was still securely around my shoulders, "You're always there, why can't you make time for me?"

"I haven't been to the library all summer; it's been three months since I have been able to pick up a book from the Hogwarts library." I tried to make up excuses, just to get him to leave me alone… to get his touch out of my memory.

"But you need your practice," he said, pulling me off to another deserted corridor, gently pushing me into a wall, his head tilted to the side slightly, as I ducked down, so that his lips came smacking into the wall. He was visibly angry, that was easily seen, when I tried to escape, he took me harshly into his arms. His voice was low, and his teeth were clenched tightly together, "Don't disagree with me."

I lightly bit my lip, his hands were snugly wrapped around my arms, and he went in for another kiss. This time I didn't disobey him, and I kissed him. I didn't know what had come over me; I was letting Alex Harper kiss me. I had never kissed a boy like this, it felt weird, and definitely not a good kind of weird. His lips crashed onto mine, and he was now slowly rubbing my arms, in a sort of… loving way. He placed my hands onto his back, his hands slowly leaving mine and one placed onto my hair, the other on my back, holding me close to him. He softened his lips and he hadn't pulled back yet, so I took this as a sign that I shouldn't stop just yet.

This tingling sensation coursed through my body like nothing else had ever before, as I stood there, his hand running through my hair. When he finally pulled away from my lips, I gave a huge sigh of relief. He smiled smugly, "I think that was the best kiss that I have ever had, I knew you were holding back."

Weak was one word to really describe how I felt, but I hadn't thought about the consequences to doing this. He would now expect this every time he demanded a kiss. He leaned in again, but I backed up. I couldn't see my own face but I knew that I was showing many signs of being scared. He looked into my eyes, this one time, and he said "Baby, don't be scared, I'll be nice this time."

There were many reasons as to why I shouldn't believe him right now, and when I backed up into the wall, my only way of escaping this kiss was to go down. When I did, I heard his head smack into the wall, as I tried running down the corridor to the wooden door that seemed so far away now. I was almost there, then he caught onto my waist, and pulled me back, hard. My stomach was threatening to throw up, but I didn't. Alex turned me around and started screaming again, and shaking me. I couldn't understand a word that he said, but he made me want to cry. In fact, when I let a few tears down, he stopped yelling and shaking me. The silence was not an awkward silence, but a very serious silence. "Babe, no, please don't cry…" he said, quietly, putting a soft hand on my arm, but I jerked it away. "I have a name! And it's not Potter!" I screamed. It felt slightly good to yell back at him, and he was so surprised when I had. I knew that if I went to the library now, Addie would come and sit by me and I'd have to explain to her why my face was all red.

He didn't say anything, but leaned in again to me, only aiming for my forehead this time; he gently kissed it and whispered, "Okay, Lily." It was the first time that he had ever called me by my given name. It didn't seem right, but it would become a habit, hopefully. I found this to be the right time to ask, since I might not have the right moment later… "Why do you go out with me, if you only scream and hit me?" I asked to my shoes, mumbling it.

I didn't look at his face, but I could feel his temper rising, I was good at telling that now a days. "I told you, to make Mary jealous."

"But she hasn't ever seen us, and well… I just… feel like there is something that you aren't telling me." I said, his hand gently grabbed onto mine, our fingers were loosely intertwined with the other's. "Maybe there is." He told me softly, taking my other hand and slowly moving into a kiss that I didn't deny. His lips were soft, and gentile. His slowly lips moved with mine. After several minutes he pulled out of the only thing that made me want to stay with him.

Without any words, I made my way to the door and I opened it, I saw a flash of blonde whip by me. I couldn't tell who it was, but I wish I'd know, because it was clearly obvious that they had heard what went on… Whoever they were, they held my biggest secret in their hands, because if it got out that I was dating Alex Harper… then we'd have a lot of explaining to do.

_I just wanted to say thank you so much to all of the wonderful people who all are following this story, which just blew up the last time I updated :)  
I hope that this chapter will be similar.  
Although I find this chapter really disappointing to my writing in general,I personally don't think it reflectsmy best writing.I alsothink I need to update my other stories because I'm getting a little frustrated with this one and I feel like my other stories are getting neglected. So please review and keep on favoriting/following the story :D Thanks so much!_

_Jackie_


	9. A winter without Matthew Perks

**_Please Review! :)_**

The few first months went by slowly, but when Christmas break finally came around, I was actually thankful to go home. Alex still demanded kissing, at his leisure, which was basically any time we were next to each other. Addie and I were back on good terms, but the blonde haired someone never told anyone about Alex and I.

Now that I was home, I had time to think about what was happening with me… with my life. I lay in my bed, staying still, my eyes were emotionless. When you were thinking, I imagined that you didn't really make faces while you thought.

_"Come on Lily, it's just kissing, it's not like I want to sleep with you," he paused, "well not yet anyways."_

_"No, I am not kissing you again, even when I do kiss you, you hurt me," I sobbed, on the floor of the room of requirement. "I don't want to be with you anymore."_

_"You're not thinking straight," he said, kneeling down to me._

_"I am thinking perfectly fine, I don't want to be with you anymore… you hurt, you are a Slytherin, and you're a horrible person, you still make fun of me." My eyes didn't look up to his… they couldn't._

_"It's all a part of the act, remember? You didn't want anyone knowing about us, we have to act normally, and I normally made fun of you," he said in an unwelcoming tone._

_"You still make fun of me," I murmured, and something inside of him ticked off, something, he picked me up by the neck and held me up, my throat not getting enough air to breathe._

_"Stop being a baby and grow up!" he shouted, inches away from my face, I tried gasping for air, but no air was getting to my lungs, I could feel my face reddening, my whole body shutting itself off…_

_"Oh my god!" he shouted, totally horrified, dropping me down to the ground, I collapsed, just focusing on inhaling and exhaling, not at which new swear word Alex could spit out, "I didn't do that."_

_"I'm through with you, this is exactly why I hate being involved with you, and besides, we aren't getting back at Mary Flint, if anything she's been telling me how I've gotten even fatter since I got to school." I gasped, finally staring at his face._

_"…Well, she kind of does have a point…" I headed towards the door, but he jumped in front of it. "I didn't say that."_

_"Yes you did, and you meant it, you also meant to throttle me by the neck back there," I said, tears flowing down my cheeks, "I'm done with you, and our relationship, I'm breaking up with you."_

_He took my wrist but I screamed, "I am not going to be your victim anymore! Go find another girl who will let you hit her!"_

_Alex didn't respond to this, so I said, "Get help for your temper problem."_

_These words made him angry… really angry… but he just held on harder to my wrist, his hand fully wrapped around it. "Ow, stop it, I told you I'm not going to be pushed around by you and beaten."_

_"I don't beat you!" he shouted furiously._

_I freed my wrist and lifted my shirt up to my lower ribs, showing black and blue marks, then I showed him what he had done when I had most recently refused to kiss him, the scar on the back of my neck, it had been cut deeply, having me make up a very big excuse as to what I was doing, Madam Pumpfry more than likely didn't believe me. "You fall down a lot," he said dismissively._

_"I'M DUMPING YOU!" I screamed at the top of my lungs._

_His hands jerked mine closer to him, so I accidentally fell towards him, but I caught myself. He pushed his face up against mine, and for the first time, he stuck his abnormally large tongue down my throat, as if to find out what I had previously eaten. When I felt his tongue coming back up my mouth, it came and went across my teeth slowly. He was licking my teeth, LICKING MY TEETH! My first instinct was to bite, and I took it, making a hard chomp onto his disgusting tongue that should have stayed in his own mouth. He let out a yelp, but he now wrapped his arms around me, leaving no room between our bodies with the exception being layers of clothing._

_My waist was being crushed into him, as he continued to try to find the back of my throat. I had absolutely had enough, then, I don't know exactly what happened, but Alex was thrown to the opposite wall, and went crashing into the brick wall. I breathed heavily, had I just done magic without knowing it? I had done it before I could control it, but never after I had gotten Hogwarts could I do magic without a wand. I took this opportunity to run out the door, as fast as I could, for the fear of being attacked…_

A knocking noise awoke me from my nightmare day dream that happened… I told them to come in, and the door opened to a cold Matthew, stuck his tongue down Mary Flint's throat, Perks. "Oh," I said, pulling down the sleeves of my sweater, "Hi."

"Not happy to see me?" He asked; a little too knowing.

"No, I'm just surprised that you remembered me," I said quietly, "Since you've been ignoring me for most of the year, you know."

Matt disregarded this and took a look around my room, "I should have known that your room looked like this," he said, looking at all of the books that were aligned on the shelves, "how many of these have you actually read?" he asked curiously, glancing at the hundreds of books that covered up all of my walls.

"All of _them_," I told him simply, as his jaw dropped, "What?" I asked.

"It's just a lot of reading to do, not very many people are this into reading" he told me, glancing around at all of my books, picking one specifically out of the others. He smiled and said, "You were carrying this book when we first met," he had picked up "Saving Sarah Jane," I had reread that book countless times, I couldn't figure out why until now. "How do you remember that?" I asked curiously.

"I don't know, it just kind of sticks out in my mind, you know, it isn't every day where a girl falls onto your lap." He said, laughing.

"True," I mumbled, looking at my feet, he took the hint and came over to me, sitting up on my bed. He motioned for me to sit up too, so I did, he wrapped one of his arms around the back of my waist and said, "But it also isn't every day where you find a pretty girl in a bookshop, is it?"

"Why, did you meet Mary in a bookshop?" I asked icily.

He just gave a quick nervous laugh, "Funny, but no, the only girl that I met in a bookshop, was you." He told me, "And I just wanted to know what was been happening"

I looked towards his eyes and spoke quietly, "What about me, I'm not important."

He brought my chin up to his eyes and said, "Yes you are, without you, I don't know where I would be right now."

"Probably still a popular Ravenclaw that forgot about his geeky friends a while ago to go snog Mary Flint," I said, "How is she by the way, _Mattie Poo_, that is what she called you, wasn't it?"

He didn't answer very quickly, but he asked, "Is there something going on between you and Alex Harper?"

"…" I looked guiltily at my multicolored socks, "Not by choice."

Matt went quiet and said numbly, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, if I don't stay with him… well, he won't be happy, and he'll take it out on… well, uhhh, me." I told him very quietly, nervous of how he would react.

"What do you mean by 'He'll take it out on you'" Matt asked, being quite serious this time.

"He'll hurt me if I don't stay with him… I've tried breaking up with him several times… but well, he just beats me until I take it back." I murmured, determinately not looking into his eyes, "I don't think that I can stand up to him again…"

My eyes finally met Matt's who looked absolutely distraught. "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"I thought that I could handle him myself," I knew that honesty would be best in this situation, "I didn't want to bother anybody with my stupid little problems."

"Lily, do you know how serious this is?" he asked me.

I didn't answer, but that was the stupidest question that was ever aimed my way, I knew the seriousness of how this was going. After a few minutes of silence he asked, "What has he done so far?"

I lifted up my shirt to my ribs and showed him the black and blue marks where he had kicked me continuously until I had finally caved in, "First time," I said quietly, then I showed him the scar on my neck, "Second time," then I rolled up my sleeves to reveal several black and blue marks scattered on my skin, "Third," I told him about Alex choking me, "Fourth," then I told him that I had actually gotten one of my ribs cracked by him, having to explain to Madam Pumpfry all of my scars and bruises, but making up tales that she didn't believe. "He's also controlling how much and what I eat because he doesn't want me to get even fatter than I already am." I murmured, pulling down my sweater and the sleeves.

He stared at me, "You have to tell an adult about this."

"No," I said shortly, "He'll come after me then and that time, it'll be worse, he broke skin just because I wouldn't kiss him. Thrown me up against a wall, forced me to kiss him and made my lip bleed from biting it too hard…"

"If you don't have him stop, then he'll keep on pulling this and then he'll do things that you don't want him to do." Matt said seriously, "Next time he might kill you."

Something inside me, just clicked off, turning toward Matt and placing my head onto his shoulder. I wrapped both of my arms around his waist and I held him tight, while the tears came down silently, I felt his other arm wrap itself around me. Words really couldn't describe the emotions that coursed through my body all at once, but anger was not one of them. "I don't know what to do anymore," I mumbled into his shirt.

"You can't let him continue to do this," he told me, and I knew he was right, but how was it possible?

"I don't have any other choice," I murmured, "There isn't anything that I can do."

I felt his hand go to my hair and stroking it soothingly, "Shhh, we'll figure something out, we will."

We stayed like this until I stopped crying, which took several minutes, but when I had stopped crying, I held onto him tightly. Turning my head towards his, I came up to his ear and whispered, "I'm really glad you came."

"I am too," he whispered. He loosened his grip on me, and reminded me, "In first year, you gave me an option to do something, and I'd really like to take that opportunity now."

Before I could remember, he tilted his head slightly to the right and leaned in to me, his lips were soft, and something that I had never felt before coursed through me. There is just something about Matthew Perks that makes me feel this way. It's an unexplainable feeling really, because no words can do this feeling justice.

Then, to my astonished horror, the door flew open, making Matt jump, causing him to fall off of my bed. Al was standing in the middle of my doorway, "Did the thought ever occur to you that you should knock?!" I said loudly.

Al smirked and yelled down the hall, "Mum, Dad, Lily had a boy in her room with her door closed!"

No one was coming up the stairs, which was a great sign, "So?" Called my mum.

"Soo… they were snogging! Your little innocent Lily was actually snogging a boy!" I heard footsteps now come up the stairs, a little rushed, so I opened up my window and ushered Matt to me, "I'm not jumping that far down!"

"Fine, I'll go first" I mumbled, and I climbed out the window, hanging by the side of the window then the short fall didn't hurt as much, thank god for snow, otherwise my bum would hurt a whole lot more than it does. Matt came down right after I did, landing right next to me, I had him run with me to our tree house. Yes, it wasn't my best idea, but it meant that Matt could stay longer. We were both out of breath when we finally got to the top of the tree house. "That was close," I muttered.

"Yeah" he said, smiling.

"God, when I get my hands on Al, he will surely regret it." I said, "I mean he ruins everything good in my life…"

Matt looked at me and said, "Yeah, it was pretty good."

We both laughed, for a while and we lay down on the wooden floor. "So what are you going to do for the rest of the vacation?" I asked him quietly.

"…Just, you know…" he said, and yes, I did know, unfortunately.

"Hanging out with Mary Flint?" I asked.

"No, actually, I'm spending it with my family, but we're going to America this winter, my mom tells me that I need to see my other relatives but I really don't like them, they're really annoying… my cousins that is" I perked up a little as he said it, but then, I realized why he wasn't happy about it, that means that he wouldn't be visiting at all this winter break.

"Oh, yeah… Well, can't you visit one time?" I asked hopefully.

"We won't be coming back until the day right before the train leaves" he told me.

I looked at his dirty blonde hair and asked, "So when do you have to leave?"

"Tomorrow" he murmured, getting on his side and playing with my hair.

"Then we'll just have to make the most of tonight," I told him, a smile placed onto my lips. "Won't we?"

His smile showing, he said, "I guess we will."

The rest of the night we made snowmen, had a quiet snowball fight, and we went back up to the tree when we couldn't see anything but the silhouette of the other person. We sat in the pure darkness of the tree house. His arm securely around me, so that I wouldn't freeze, my arms were wrapped around his waist, with my head gently resting on his chest. We just sat in the silence, watching out the window that showed the sun slowly coming up the horizon, "I didn't want this to end." He whispered.

"I know, this feels like the only real thing in my life right now… you and me I mean." I told him, and I could feel him smiling.

The sun ascended higher into the sky, before he spoke again, "What are we going to do about Alex?"

He knew exactly how to ruin a perfect moment didn't he. He could make and destroy them. I cuddled into him more and let out a soft, "I don't know."

"We have to do something about him, I don't want to see you get hurt, ever again," he told me, pushing my hair out of my face. "I can't stand to see you this miserable… it kills me inside to see you like this."

"It doesn't feel any better when you're the one it's happening to," I mumbled.

Then, I saw my dad at the doorway of the tree house, staring at us, I scrambled to my feet, but Matt was picked up by the hood of his sweatshirt, my dad's hand clutching it tightly, taking him out of the tree house without any words. I tried to keep up with my dad and Matt, "Dad, what are you doing?" I asked him continuously, but my dad would not reply, but I swore that I could see flames coming out of his ears.

He dragged Matt into the house and Matt landed with a thud on the ground, "Ginerva, get down here!" I had never heard my dad use my mom's actual name, never in my life had anyone call her that besides grandma when mum accidentally dropped something.

Mum was down in the main entrance within seconds of being called down, her brown eyes trying to get the basics of what was wrong, "Harry, it's really early, don't yell so loudly."

"Lily was all snuggled up with this boy-" he pointed vaguely towards Matt, who had gotten up. "-in the tree house! God only knows what they could have been doing in there before I got there!"

My eyes widened, "Dad, that isn't what happened! Matt just-"

"He's a hormonal teenage boy Lillian, you can't trust their judgment; I was one of them once." He told me, my mother was coming down a few more steps, watching his movement.

"How would you know?! You don't know him at all!" I screamed, it didn't mean to come out so loud, but it had.

"I don't need to know him Lily, now go upstairs and I will take care of him," My dad told me seriously, I felt my mom's hands come onto my arms.

"No." I said, not moving a muscle.

"Lily, do as I say" he ordered.

"I won't do it!" My voice rising higher, making my dad turn around to me.

"Lily, go upstairs, now"

"No!"

"Ginny, take her upstairs."

My mom guided me upstairs, but we stayed right by the stairs, so that we could listen in. "Stay away from my daughter, you hear? She doesn't need any distractions, especially any boys coming in and messing her up!" I heard him yell. Matt didn't say anything but he might have made a gesture, "Good, then we're on the same page." He said a little less boss-like. "Now I don't want to see you with my daughter, ever again."

The tears started coming down my cheeks, "Yes sir" I heard Matt mumble.

My mom started to turn me towards my room, but I heard my dad say, "I think you should leave now."

I tore away from my mom's grasp and started to run down the stairs, but I was mid way down the stairs, when I saw him halfway out the door, "Please don't go!"

Matt turned back to stare at my tear soaked face, my bottom lip trembled "I can't do this alone!"

"Lily go back upstairs, he knows what he's doing" My dad told me, but I wasn't listening, "You can't make him stay away from me!" I yelled.

"Lily, its fine," Matt muttered to his shoes, but the tears flowed down my cheeks, "No it's not! You can't keep me away from him; I won't let you do this!"

I went down the rest of the stairs, and grabbed onto Matt, hugging his waist, I whispered "I can't let you go, I love you."

His eyes widened but my parents didn't hear me, my dad grabbed onto my waist and pulled me back, having me accidentally let go of Matt. I tried grabbing for him again but my dad pulled me back just far enough so that I couldn't reach him.

"You need to leave, now." My dad said over my head.

With one last fleeting look Matt closed the door, he didn't let go of me just yet, but he turned me around, and started to get mad, "Lily, what were you doing with a boy in the morning alone, you are only fourteen!"

"We weren't doing anything!" I stomped my foot down. "I swear dad, we weren't doing anything!"

"It didn't look like nothing" he fought back, but this was when I wished my dad would really act like a dad and not The Head Auror Official.

"Why won't you listen to me?"

"You're fourteen! You don't need to be having-" it seemed to literally kill him inside to say the next few words, "sex with guys, that's all they want from you Lily."

"I WASN'T!" I shouted, through the corner of my eye I saw a drowsy Al and James emerge from the staircase. "You raised me better than that!"

He took a low deep breath and I got him to release his grip off of me, "When are you going to treat me like a daughter instead of one of your trainees? I'm glad I'm not in Teddy's position because he has to deal with you every day!" The words just slipped out of my mouth, the horror on my father's face made my stomach churn. "I hate you for this, and I will never forgive you!"

Both Al and James knew that I was dead serious, but they didn't know what it was all about, without even being told to, I went into my room, locked the door shut, and started crying into my pillow. A life without Matthew Perks is an incomplete life.

_Hi, Thank you so much to the 19 people who are following this story, Thank you to the 4 people who favorited this story, Thank you to the 8 story have me as their favorite author and lastly, Thank you to the 8 people who follow my writing :)_

_I'm supposed to be done with my Spanish homework, also, I am waking up in... 6 hours and 20 minutes... without even finishing my Spanish, which I am not done with... which is my worst class, which means I can't not turn this in.... Uhh. Lame? I know. I had to get this chapter out today otherwise it wouldn't have been put out till Friday, so thank you all again, and please review!_

_p.s. What did you think of the new teaser trailer?!?!_

_p.s.s. Oh, I'm sorry for the shortness on the other chapters, I just had to get another long one in :) to satisfy you until I can post another one again... but I'm not so sure about this chapter... it seems weak, but tell me yourself about what you think!_


	10. Dursley Dash

**_Please Review!!_**

I didn't go out of my room for another four days, mostly crying myself to sleep or reading "Saving Sarah Jane" over and over again till I sobbed some more. I was a complete mess, for the simple fact that I had not done anything about Alex. Al and James made their nightly visits to tell me what was going on with people and to "smuggle" in some food for me, even if mum had offered to make me something. James told me that dad spent most of his time writing secret letters to someone, or muttering to himself around the house.

On that Thursday, an owl came up to my window and pecked its beak against the glass. Twiddle, my owl, was let into the room, and spread her little wings out as far as she could, and making a splat on my bed. "If only you could bring heavier things," I joked, taking the letter from her foot. Then I opened up the envelope, taking out the letter hastily, then my eyes began to stare at the parchment.

_Dear Lily,_

_I know that you were angry at your dad, but I think you may have been a little too harsh on him. Yes, I know how he acts around you, but he is after all, your dad, maybe if you gave him another chance he could redeem himself. He is just new with the teenage daughter thing, he didn't have to worry about Al and James getting in that trouble. Matthew Perks, it sounds familiar, but I can't place my finger on it. If he's a Ravenclaw I don't think that your dad has anything to worry about, besides, you're a good kid Lily. Your dad is just worried about you getting too serious with guys and as you're his only daughter, he feels the need to protect you; also the fact that you are the youngest also means that he will want to protect you even more. Please think about what I said._

_Teddy Lupin_

_P.S. Get out of your room, it's been four days now._

I threw the letter hastily on the floor, and going to go get an owl treat for Twiddle. "What does he know about what happened," I mumbled, opening up the jar, and throwing a little square to Twiddle, who hooted happily, "He doesn't know anything about how dad acts around me."

I plopped myself back onto my bed, and picked my book back up. Matthew Perks would probably be in America by now… This was a thought that was not meant to be dwelled upon, but it happened regularly. I tried to make sense of the night we had spent together, but the more I thought about it, the more I contradicted myself and I would just get frustrated and stop.

The thing that bugged me most about Matt was, he was right about Alex. I didn't want to believe that this problem had been big, but it was increasingly difficult as the time passed by. When this thought got interrupted, by a knocking on my door. I didn't answer it, but then the door just came open. Standing there was, Al, he closed the door behind him and told me, out of breath, "They're here."

The only thing that would make Al this scared, was the Dursleys. Our Aunt and Uncle came over once and a great while, but I didn't want them to be here, especially not today. I hated my cousins on their side of the family, there was, Aunt Maggie, who smelled like prunes, cousin Tootie, who had once stuck my head under water for almost a minute, this was when I could just start to hold my breath for a short time, cousin Coco who always comments on my weight, hair, or how ugly I look. Then lastly, but certainly the most horrible, was Maple. She was just about five months older than me, and she thought that it meant she got to boss me around everywhere. Growing up, every time I would see her, she'd call me names and then she'd pull my hair, knowing that I wouldn't fight back. Countless other things happened over the years, but that didn't matter right now.

"What?" I asked.

"They are here," Al repeated, "The Dursleys, I mean."

"I can't stand them right now," I told him honestly, "can we just kick them out?"

"Mum already had them go into the kitchen." Al said, having me change, get decent, and we both left down the stairs together. James was already sitting at the counter, with one arm propping up his head from falling. Mum had put on an apron, she was washing her hands, and dad was shaking Uncle Dudley's hand. Aunt Maggie was talking to her oldest daughter, Tootie, who was tall like her mother; James was three years younger than Tootie. Coco sat next to James at the counter, gnawing on a carrot, while Maple stood in the corner. When they finally noticed our presence, Aunt Maggie and Tootie came to us first and gave us hugs.

"Lillian! It's been too long!" Aunt Maggie told me, holding me out to look at me, her firm grip hurt my bruised shoulders. "How have you been?"

I could hear Al mutter "…Not long enough…"

"I've been better," I told her honestly, "but I've got everything sorted out."

I didn't look at my dad, but I could see him through the corner of my eye that he was exchanging glances with mum. "That's good." Maggie told me, patting my shoulder, I winced when she did this and I thought no one noticed.

"Lillian," she called me that, just to be annoying, I swear, "You look like you lost weight, has your mother not been feeding you?"

I heard a sharp blade hit the cutting board, hard, as mum clenched her teeth and continued to cut up different foods in all different shapes.

"She's got a point there," James said, piping up for the first time, looking at me strangely, "but Hogwarts has good food, you look like you lost a lot of weight…"

My temperature was clearly rising, I couldn't tell them that my secret boyfriend, who hit me when I didn't do what he wanted, was watching my weight carefully and putting me up on a scale in the room of requirement every week, to make sure I didn't gain any weight.

"Yeah, I mean you were really fat before, now you're just fat" Coco said snootily, taking a large bite out of her carrot.

Turning around and running away was the best plan I had. It was the only one involving getting the hell out of there, and away from them. I slammed my door behind me, and plopped myself onto my bed. When I did this, I accidentally hit my head on my head board, making my head hurt more than it ever needed to. This pain reminded me of something…

_"Go and get the scale," Alex ordered, I obeyed and got it out for him. I stepped onto the scale without asking and he looked at the number. "101" he murmured, trying to hide his anger. "101," he repeated this number several times before throwing his anger all into his hands which grabbed me by the hair and pulled me off of the scale. "You gained a pound." His face was full of rage, "You like being fat, do you?!"_

_My bottom lip quivered, "Well, DO YOU?!"_

"_N-No" I murmured, staring at my shoes._

_The force of his hand made me fall to the floor, "I'm sorry," I cried, "I'm sorry!"_

"_You should be," he yelled, my eyes staring straight at his shoes, "You didn't stick to your diet! I told you exactly what to do! You were just too-" his foot came up to my head and kicked it with so much force that my head started to throb, "-stupid to get it right!"_

_I cried on the floor and curled up in a ball, covering my head that hurt so much, "Stop, I'll lose it again, please, just don't hurt me" I sobbed._

_No foot came to my head again, but he said sneeringly, "You better by next week, you will skip three dinners just to get down again, you hear me?"_

"_I hear you" I murmured. _

I looked at my stomach, which looked flat besides one little part under my belly button, I still didn't get boobs, and I was close to getting a question wrong in potions. I felt a pang in my stomach that had nothing to do with eating, Matthew Perks had commented on my weight once in first year, he told me that I looked great. After that he was red all day when I came into a room but if I was good enough for Matt then, what was the difference now?

Mary Flint was a rail and nothing else, so did I have to go that far to even compete with her? If I did… then, I don't think I want to be in that competition.

_Hi again! And if you are reading my story for the first time, welcome! But I actually wanted to talk about the story more, I have been working on this story for a while and I have been neglecting my other stories, so right now, I know that this is a bad place to stop but just be patient with me, you might not get another chapter till around thanksgiving for the fact that I have opening night for my play in 6 days and 1 week. Thanks for being understanding :)_

_Oh, Also, could you answer in a pm or review if you will continue to read my story if it goes up to the M rating? It won't be too terribly bad, it would acceptable for fifteen year olds to read it, since the writer (me!) is fifteen(and two months), but can I see how many people would continue to read it and who would stop? It would only be one chapter._


	11. Two broken promises

**_Please Review! :)_**

The day before going back to Hogwarts could not have been longer, I tried to pass the time by reading, but it was an empty passion of mine. I lay in bed, thinking about various things, when something hit my window. I sat straight up at the noise, but I didn't move otherwise, another pang hit the window. I waited till a third pang to go over to my window and open it. Standing in the snow was a red cheeked Matthew Perks, smiling up at me. "What are you doing?" I asked with a smile planted on my face.

"Had to come and see you didn't I?" He told me.

I didn't reply to this, instead I pointed out, "You told my dad that you were going to stay away from me."

"Well then this is the Slytherin in me saying to hell with that, come on, I've got a surprise to show you." He was grinning.

"But Romeo, you are forgetting something," I said with a slight mock, "A promise is a promise, and promises are supposed to be kept."

"Yet you are also forgetting something, my Juliet," he whispered, trying not to wake anyone, "We are the only real things in this world."

I smiled at him and told him, "I'll get a coat."

I arranged my pillows to look like me, then I grabbed a light sweatshirt, I stuck my head out the window and said, "Okay, don't look."

I fell down, after shutting my window and I accidentally fell on top of Matt, who let out a little groan, "So why couldn't I look, so that you could fall on top of me?"

"No, I didn't want you looking at my arse" I told him, getting up; his eyes went towards my back.

"Why are you wearing pajamas?" he asked, now examining my pants.

"I don't need a reason." I told him with a grin, he took my hand to get up. His gorgeous smile shown brightly in the moon light. Our hands were still connected when he led me out of my yard. But his hands were extremely warm for being outside.

"Close your eyes, and keep them closed." He told me, so I did. He put his hands over my eyes; I could feel his touch softly on my nose. His hands felt hot against my face. He led me until he had me stop, I felt his hands come off of my eyes but he told me to keep them closed still, I didn't argue.

"Open," he whispered sweetly from behind me, when I opened my eyes, I saw him in front of me holding out a little tiny box.

"What's this?" I asked him, looking at the box, not looking at our location.

"It's your present," he told me, "you thought that I would stiff you on Christmas?"

"Now I feel bad for not getting you anything," I said out loud, but I was being honest.

"Don't be, it wasn't that bad anyways, now open it," his breath shown in the frosty air, I gently took it from his hands and looked at the little note.

It was a torn up piece of parchment paper that said: _Hope you like it_

I unwrapped the daily prophet wrapping, which I loved the most because I could rip their words to pieces without looking like a complete idiot. When all the paper was torn off, I saw a white box. I carefully opened up the box and my jaw dropped when I saw what was in the box. A silver necklace with a tree house charm attached onto it, I looked up at Matt and said, "I can't accept this."

"Sure you can, just put it on your neck, and that would be accepting it," he told me, taking it out of the box, and then unhooking it. I pulled my hair up off of my neck and he attached it together. I loved it, but how could I keep it?

"Do you always flatter girls with necklaces?" I teased.

"No, first time," he laughed, "And before, when you were talking about me and Mary, there was never anything there."

I stopped glancing at my new necklace and I looked up into his red cheeks, "What?"

"At the end of our third year, Mary kissed me, and she pretended to be my girlfriend" his hot breath mixing with the cold weather, "she wanted to get back at you since you were getting more attention than she was."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I asked, glancing back at my necklace, "You've had the time, haven't you."

"I guess, more important things always came up," he said guiltily.

I mumbled, "More important things" as I stared at the necklace.

We stood there for a good hour saying nothing but looking at each other's hot breath mix with the cold air to make it visible. My body started to get colder as the wind picked up, then I made the first movement in minutes, by finally looking around, we were standing in freshly fallen snow at the park.

Things were hard to see because I estimate that it was around one in the morning right then and it was pitch black out with the exceptions to nearer things. "I wish you would have told me then… because now, I'm stuck in a relationship with Alex…"

"Maybe that's how you can get out of it," he told me.

"That would never work, Alex won't believe it unless he sees it for himself and Mary would never admit to breaking up with you or you breaking up with her." I murmured to my shoes, doubting that things would get better any time soon.

"What about you breaking it off with him?" He asked me.

"I told you what happens when I do that, I even showed you," I said a little irritated. "He'll hurt me even more."

"And I told you to tell someone," he said with a frown, I could tell this without looking up at him because of his clear change in tone, "did you?"

"No, I didn't." I grumbled, "And I can handle this on my own."

"Then why did you tell me?" he shot back.

"Because, I-I" I stopped and looked up towards him, "because I thought you should know about it, okay, but I don't want you blabbing it out to anyone who will listen."

"I haven't done that either, I've kept my word," he said, "but you can't continue on like this, it isn't healthy for either of you."

"Since when did you become my psychologist?" I muttered.

He disregarded this and said quietly, "I don't want to see you hurt."

Our eyes did not meet, but I could tell that his eyes were trying to connect with mine. "I don't want to have to sneak around with you either but look where we are," I murmured quietly, taking a step closer to his breath, the ends of our shoes were almost touching. My hands were placed down at my sides, until one of Matt's warm hands touched mine; it stung when he did this. The other hand came to my chin, and raised my head. Matthew Perk's gorgeous eyes stared into my wet ones. We stayed like this for several minutes, just standing, staring into each other's eyes. For a moment, I couldn't tell where I was, I didn't care to be completely honest. As long as I was with him, I was alright.

Unconsciously, I was shaking from the cold, at least my knees were. I didn't notice this until just now, but Matt just took his hand off of my chin to go and get me into a tight hug. He was just a little bit taller than me, so I placed my chin softly on his shoulder. "I've been thinking a lot about what you had said," he whispered, "about how you felt that we were the only real things, what if I feel that too when I'm with you?"

I stayed still, closing my eyes for only a few seconds and taking a big breath. I didn't know how to respond, so I just stayed quiet, standing there. My heart pounded hard, but I wondered if he could feel it. We didn't talk, we didn't really need to use words, it was that time and place where words weren't needed to describe your feelings.

I watched the sun rise over his shoulder. Tears started to slowly come down off of my cheeks, I had been hurting from hugging him, it literally burned me. I thought it was worth it, but it just stung too badly. He heard my crying and held me out to face him. "What's wrong?" He pushed my black hair out of my eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Not one single word, so he asked, "What is it?" I backed out of his touch, and remained wordless, just staring at him. Matthew looked at his hands, then he looked at me again, "What?"

My feet slowly backed away from him, I shook my head no, and the tears started coming down harder. "Lily, what is going on with you?" he asked with his head slightly tilted to the side. I turned and ran, I ran as fast as I could back to the house. The tears were streaming down my face by the time that I got into the house. My dad was standing at the top of the steps when I came through the front door, but his face softened when he saw me. "Lily?" he asked, coming down the stairs with his pajamas on.

"I'm sorry," I coughed out, "I'm sorry." I put my hands over my face and I felt his arms wrap around me. "Why are you sorry Lily?" he asked quietly.

"I shouldn't have left the house, I knew I shouldn't have, just please don't hate me" I murmured, crying even harder at the fact that he didn't sting or burn, only Matt did.

He shhhed me and he said, "I could never hate you Lily, and I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere Lily; you should know that your mother and I are always here for you, especially right now."

Dad didn't say it in his normal voice, but it seemed calmer and nicer. "I'm sorry" I repeated, and curled up my knees to my chin. "I should have told you."

"Should have told me what?" he asked.

I heard footsteps running down the hall to have a red haired woman standing at the top of the stairs, "Lily!" She screamed, then ran down the stairs to hug me.

"Mum, Alex Harper-" but another face arrived at the top of the stairs, his black hair and freckles showing, "What about that dumbass? He can barely hit any bludger that comes near him."

Thinking to myself I thought, "Oh, he hits just fine."

This idea went whizzing through my head as I zoned out my family's constant questions that repeated themselves quite often, "I knew he didn't do it intentionally, he wouldn't hurt me like Alex does… I know that for sure. But what could have caused it?"

Going back to Hogwarts, I knew, would be the most difficult thing that I would have to do, but what would come in the future… is even more frightening than the present.

_How true that last sentence is for this story :)  
Coming up later: Lily goes back to Hogwarts, but you'll see the train ride, Alex Harper will return, and you'll see more of Matt. :)  
If you didn't get that, Al was the one at the stairs, and yes, James still lives at the house, but his profession will be coming up later in the story.  
I have a new poll up that asks what you want to see in this story :) So far I only have 1 vote that wants Alex Harper to die, hee hee. So if you want to vote in that, it'll help me tell what the readers want to happen, if you want to just tell me in a review, that would be lovely too :)_

P.S. Is anyone else annoyed how you can't see how many times in all that a certain story's hits? It's been bugging me sooo much how I can't tell unless I count it up by hand through all the months that I've had the story up.

P.P.S. Please give me your feedback, it helps A LOT!


	12. Too many secrets to keep

**_Please Review, it really helps me!_**

I didn't tell mum and dad about Alex, and I didn't tell them about Matt unintentionally burning me with his touch. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what it had been, but I swore to myself that I would talk to Addie about it on the train. I never got any sleep, because the time that I had finally stopped crying, was the time I had to shower and get ready. The car ride isn't too terribly long to the Hogwarts Express, so I didn't have the chance to sleep then either. James came with us because, 1. He wanted to see us off, 2. His girlfriend of 1 year would be there, and 3. He wanted to give some people hell before they went onto the train.

Mum and dad were busy talking to Uncle Percy about regulations on brooms, and Addie had not come yet, I decided that I would go over to another one of my uncle's. Ron stood tall as he surveyed everyone else, and nodding to a few parents that passed by him. "Uhhmmm, Uncle Ron?" I asked, he turned towards me and said, "Oh, Hi Lily, I didn't see you there, I guess you must have been too quiet, what do you need?"

"I have to ask you something," I told him in a low voice, his attention was now all mine. "In private" I added, nodding to everyone else in the station. He told Hermione that he would be back and I led him over to a corner of the station. "Now what is so important that you can't have anyone else hear?"

"Have you ever heard of someone being burned by just human touch?" I asked, as his expression changed.

"No, Lily, I haven't, but why the sudden curiosity and why did we have to be over here for you to ask me?" Ron asked.

"Because… that wasn't just it." I said, "What do you do when you know someone is being physically hurt by another person?"

His eyes widened, but the warning steam came out from the train, before I could run away from my question, he took a hold of my arms and asked me firmly, "Lily, who do you know that is being hurt?"

"I have to go-"

"Lily, is this person you?" He asked me, looking at me with fear on his face; my face matched that fear and doubled it, with a mixture of pale green now showing up on my face. I got out of his grasp quickly, and then I ran like I had never ran before, onto the train. "He knows" I told myself, "He knows."

It took me several minutes to find where Addie was on the train, she sat alone in a compartment, "Hi Lily, I was-"

"We need to talk," I said, shutting the blinds and locking the door behind me. I told her everything, even about Alex, which I had kept from her until just now. I rolled up my sleeves and she gasped at the sight of the marks.

"I-I had no idea," Addie said, shaking her head in disbelief, "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I thought that you would treat me differently," I told her the truth, "that was why I was so annoyed with you when we came back to Hogwarts." She had to wrack her brains a little but she finally remembered after several hints on my part.

"That was why you were so angry," she said finally, bowing her head low.

"Now can you tell me what I should do about my problem with Matt?" I asked.

"Wait, did you see Alex any time in between when you saw Matt?" She asked, whipping out a book from her trunk.

"Yeah, why?" I asked, a little taken aback by her question.

"Maybe he used a gadget," Addie said, "to make sure that you wouldn't touch any other guys besides him. The one who casts it onto you is the only one that won't sting, the so called 'burn' is like sitting in the bathtub, to find out that you had the heat all the way on high and you technically 'burn' yourself by water. Your uncle made up a product a few years ago that does exactly that."

I hit my head hard, "Oh my god, I forgot about that!" I murmured.

"Want me to do the counter curse?" she asked.

"You can't only Matt or any other guy that likes me in a more than friendly way can," I told her. Then an idea came to her mind.

"Wait, this could go to your advantage." She told me.

"I'm not going to go and touch every single guy on this train to see if they like me!" I exclaimed, loud enough that someone knocked on the compartment door. I went over to the door, unlocked it and exclaimed "What do you want?!"

Matthew Perks raised an eyebrow and told me, "To know what the hell went on with you last night."

My face went completely red, my voice lowered greatly and murmured, "Uh, can we not talk about this now?"

"No, we're talking about this now," he said forcefully, coming into the compartment and standing right in front of Addie.

"What the hell happened with you, I give you a necklace, you don't want it, then when I hug you, and you bawl then run back to your house!" He said, as if it had been bottled up inside of him since then.

"I-I" I stared at my feet, and then I closed the door quietly.

"You what?" He asked irritated.

"It hurt me, alright?" I answered frustrated.

"It hurt you," he said disbelievingly, "Just like I 'hurt you' when I kissed you and sat in the tree house with you," he said angrily, never had I seen Matt get so hot tempered as he was right now.

"Alex used a product on me that would make you or any other guy that likes me hurt when I touch them." I said, almost meeting his anger.

"Right," Matt said disbelievingly and he was almost out the door, "Fine, make up whatever lame excuses you want because I don't need to take this."

My Weasley temper was flaring up, my face livid with anger and I pulled on his hand and made his index finger touch the palm of my hand. I winced once and then showed him the red mark that his finger had temporarily left on my palm. "Think I'm lying to you now?" I snarled.

He looked at my palm again, horrified at what he had done without intending it. "How did I do that?" he asked.

"Alex used it to make sure that I wouldn't touch another guy," I said, "All you have to do is do a counter curse and it'll be lifted."

"What's the counter curse?"

"You say, 'hallow mallow' while jumping up and down with your wand pointed at me."

"Who would make that up?"

"My Uncle" I told him, he looked like a complete fool doing the counter curse, but we had to see if it had worked. I pulled out his hand again, and placed it on my other palm. Nothing happened.

"It worked!" I announced relieved, the fear all flooded out from his face and a smile was placed on it instead.

"I'm so sorry for not trusting you," he told me, and asked, "How can I make it up to you?"

"By sitting down," I told him, he did and looked confused, "Why am I sitting down?"

I sat down next to him and rest my head on his thigh, snuggling up, "So that you can be my pillow," I told him with a yawn.

He laughed and said, "I can get use to this."

"So can I."

"Your happiness makes me want to throw up," Addie told us, she had been sitting there this whole time, I knew she was there, but I didn't know if Matt fully knew that she was there.

"Then turn away," I murmured, yawning again and falling asleep peacefully.

I woke up and Matt was shaking me softly, "Lily," he said more worriedly, "Lily, get up."

I waved my hand in the direction of the voice and said, "Five more minutes."

"Lily, get up now, someone is here to see you," he said urgently, when I opened up my eyes, I saw my _dear_ brother glaring at me. "Why did you wake me up for him?" I asked, turning over to my other side.

"Lily, get up" Al said this time.

"Good thing its cold on this train Lily, or you'd be poked in the eye right now." Addie said to get me up, Matt's face went pure red as Al's face tightened, and Addie told Al "you're welcome."

"I could have gone without that mental image, thank you for that by the way." Al said with his teeth gritted. "Lily, come with me, now."

I groggily got up and followed Al out of the compartment, into his empty compartment, "Dad told you to stay away from that guy." He said angrily.

"Your point? He also told you eat your peas when you were little but you still flung them at me." I pointed out.

"That is completely different," he told me, "I saw your face when you came home, who do you think warned mum that you needed help?"

"Matt is not the problem here." I said confidently.

"I don't want you getting hurt" he told me, putting his foot down.

"Yet you had no problem three years ago by calling me a squib and giving me hell every single day!" I yelled, my Weasley temper finally came out, on Al.

"I was stupid then, and Matt is around that age too-"

"Matt is a year older than that and he has never called me a squib or said anything mean to me, so if you don't mind-"

"Then why were you crying?" He shot, "You were with him and then you came back crying."

"I- well, I was-" I stopped, to think of a lie, "I was, uhhmmm…"

"Don't you dare lie to me Lillian Luna Potter" he said, very seriously.

"You now start to care?" I shot angrily, "You now start to care about me?! Well, you're too late!"

"Better late than never" he told me, equally angry.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE CARED BEFORE!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, feeling very dizzy. He stared at me with complete shock slapped across his face.

I made a quick movement past him and ran swiftly out the door, slamming it on my way out.

On my way back to the compartment, I bumped into Tyler Moon, Jake Larsen, and Miles Goldstein. I was almost to the compartment when I saw Alex Harper standing right by my compartment door, it was opened. He told the people in the room, "I found her" with a sneering look in his eyes.

He slammed the door shut and walked towards me, wrapping his left hand on my right and tugging it. To his compartment we went, and he closed all of the blinds and locked the door. "Hey gorgeous, haven't seen you in a long time," he told me, a smile worthy of Voldemort, he put his hands now on my waist, "seems like you've been keeping up with your diet." I slowly backed up, but he went where ever I did.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked me, but I just looked at him, not angrily, but a scared expression pasted onto my face.

I didn't answer him at first, so this made his evil grin grow wider, "Are you surprised to see me?"

I shook my head no, but almost falling over a trunk. "Come on Lily, I haven't seen you in so long," he told me, pulling me in a little closer, when my expression didn't change, he told me, "Don't worry, I promise I'll be nice this time."

I backed up even farther till I hit the shut blinds. "No, no, please," I murmured, but he grabbed onto my arms and planted his lips straight onto mine. He held on tight and I could feel the marks already forming. I couldn't see much in the dark apartment, but I could make out the color of his tie, it was green. I grabbed onto it, in desperation, and yanked hard onto it. He let out a loud yell, I didn't have time to get out of his grasp when his lips came crashing down onto mine. This wasn't a "hi girlfriend of so many months," this was a "come here right now, or you'll die."

The feeling that the train was gradually slowing down, couldn't have made me happier. He felt it too and whispered furiously, "We'll finish this later."

His grip wrapped around my shirt and he threw me out of the compartment, thankfully, no one was in my way. I didn't know when "Later" was, but I definitely was not looking forward to it.

_Sha boom sha boom, ya da da da da da, Sha boom sha boom, ya da da da da da, Life could be a dream, if I could take you up in paradise up a above, if I were the only one that you love, life woud be a dream sweetheart._

_Random Choir songs from last year that I hated time! Just kidding, I just had to start out randomly. Anyways, I finally got it updated. Hoorah. I just preformed Beauty and the Beast to about 650 people and I'm tired. I hope you like it, and if you haven't taken the poll on my profile yet, you should. Feedback helps me IMMENSELY!!!! So pm me or even better yet, Review, because they make me happy! :)_

_P.S. WHO ELSE WANTS TO TALK ON END ABOUT THE TRAILER, CAUSE I DO! Please, my one harry potter friend won't let the movie be "spoiled" for her and I NEED to get all of my feelings out about it because it is just 1 minute and 53 seconds of pure bliss!_


	13. Daily Prophet strikes again

_**Please Review!!!**_

"Later" came too soon when he cornered me the next day before potions. I now had regained all of my black and blue marks plus I had gotten a red mark right below my neck. He knew better than to hit me where it was visible otherwise people would start asking questions. I didn't tell Addie about what had happened till lunch a week after, she shook her head, "You should tell an adult about that arse" she told me.

"I did remember" I muttered, "Look where that got me! He's probably going to tell dad and then what am I going to do?"

"Good," she said, then took a hard bite out of her toast.

"What part of that is good? Alex will think that I told him and he'll be furious and he'll… he'll…" she cut off my stuttering and said, "Exactly, he won't do anything to you Lily because you'll be protected by everyone else. He's got you worried about everything so that he won't get caught for hurting you."

I didn't fully believe her, she didn't know everything that Alex could do, and she wasn't being hit every week if she wasn't giving Alex what he wanted. "Can we change the subject?" I asked irritably, eating a grape.

"Fine" She said.

"So how's your boyfriend?" I asked, trying to ask it as if it wasn't important.

"Since I don't have one anymore it's hard to say," she told me, not looking up to my face, "I found out something that he wanted to keep a secret… it got out anyways."

"What happened?" I asked quietly, she jabbed her fork down at her chicken and told me, "He liked someone else, who obviously didn't like him back, so he went and cheated on me with another tramp." She had successfully torn apart her chicken with such a force that most people would be afraid of.

"Who?" I asked, totally bewildered.

"He slept with Heidi Clearwater," she breathed, "And… he liked… uhhmmm." Addie stopped, "well, who he liked doesn't matter, what matters is, he's out of my life."

"Miles is a piece of shit," I stated, Addie laughed at me and said, "You're not very good at swearing."

"True" I told her, which made her laugh even more, Miles just came into the great hall, to go sit at the Hufflepuff table, Addie yelled to him "So how was your night last night?"

Addie smiled to herself as Miles glowered in her direction after continuing on his way. She sat back down to tell me all about how she had gotten Keely Jones to go up to his bunk and plant various things all around his bed which caused him to wet his bed, have half of his eyebrows burned off, and fireworks went off that spelled, "Never mess with Adeline effing Abraham or you will get your ass handed back to you."

"I guess he learned his lesson," I said, now examining his forehead, which now didn't have any eyebrows. "Not quite" she murmured, pulling out her wand and placing it under the table. She waved it around in a circle once and I didn't see an immediate reaction from Miles but when he yelped up, I saw that the food on his plate was coming to attack him, the butter on the bread spelt "cheater" and it chased after him out the hallway as everyone else was cracking up.

"Now he might have gotten the message," Addie said, laughing the hardest out of everyone in the great hall. "Jerk"

Addie sorted through her post and muttered "All a bunch of useless mail, I don't know why they send me these things if I never-"

I ripped the daily prophet out of her hands, and tore it open, someone coming up behind me; I took off the rubber band and looked at the title. "Hogwarts has a new secret."

My eyes scrolled down, "Written by Rita Skeeter."

"It has been known as a fact that several Aurors have been coming in and out of the magical school, known as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Suspicions have risen as to why these Aurors have been coming into the school, surly nothing is wrong with the school otherwise the public would be notified. Yet no reports have come in yet from the head Auror office. Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter are known to be coming in today but no one knows. This could be the fact that their children are doing poorly in school, or it could just be a normal check up on them. These words were brought to you by: Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes! Where every laugh is appreciated"

"Godric-" I stopped at the touch of someone's hand on my shoulder.

"Lily, can I speak with you for a second?" sounded Alex's voice, which made my face twist a little bit.

"Uhm, maybe later" I told him, pulling down my sleeves, which were covering the bruise marks from last time.

"Now" he said in a low voice, making me shoot up, Addie dropped her spoon and acted as if she were coming along, but I coughed a quick cough, which just made her give me a dirty glare that no one wanted to be on my end of that glare.

I followed him out of the great hall and to our normal spot in which he continually forced me to kiss him, or else. Alex had my wrist in his fingers, and he pulled me closer to him, inches separating our faces. "It's been so long baby," he smiled, as I instinctively pulled myself away.

"Where you going?" he taunted, pulling me in harder, "Do you have other plans?"

I opened my mouth to speak a little bit, but he pushed his lips against mine, they were like bricks, compared to Matt, who didn't force me to do anything. I pushed him back against the wall, but he brought me with him, pulling with all the force he had. His teeth dug into my lips, which caused them to start bleeding.

I pulled back with all of my might, and got out of his grasp, he came at me, but I swiftly moved out of the way, so that Alex came crashing into the wall. After this, I could tell that I would be getting many more bruises by tonight, he came after me, his face red with all the rage that he had in him.

His hands came up to my neck and they were tight around my neck, my airways were closing on me, and it was coming fast. I tried moving my arms around to get him to stop, but he only yelled, "Nothing gets in the way of what I want! Not even who I want!"

I felt this swooping sensation, then, everything in my life was fading away, as if it were all going to end right now, this weird feeling felt as if I could float on air, jump on clouds, only it wasn't all that happy. I felt light, all of the sudden, Alex's hands were no longer around my neck, for a moment, it was all pitch black… and then… my head hit the floor with a loud thud.

_Sorry! The suspense button is uncontrollable! I just realized that I post these at the weirdest times, 2 o clock in the morning on a friday, three in the morning on a sunday, what next?! Anyways, you should go vote on the poll on my profile, also you should go look at my profile for the bold words and the few things under the bold words :)  
Also, sorry for the short chapter but I woke up at 7:00 on Friday: Did many hours at school, stayed at school to do make-up and stuff, preformed in front of an almost sold out crowd, then went to the movie Twilight and kept on pestering my friend to tell me what everything meant, and after all of that, I manage to find time to get this out :)  
Well, I hope you like it, reviews are always loved and appreciated! VERY MUCH!  
Thank you so much for reading!_


	14. Lies and the power that she keeps secret

**_Please Review! It makes me do my happy dance :)_**

My eyes slowly opened, I heard loud noises that made my head whirl, then it all stopped, mum was sitting at my side, while dad stood up on the other side, he had obviously been pacing and running his fingers through his hair. Al stood at the edge of the bed, sporting a black eye and red marks on his knuckles. My mother noticed me first and came closer to me, "Lily," she whispered excitedly, and all of her stress was pouring out of her.

"Lily," she kept on saying my name as if I would never hear it again, "honey, what happened?"

"Let her breathe first mum," I heard James's voice on the other side of dad, who had stopped pacing to look at me. He had let his hair grow out a little bit more since I had last seen him. "You would think that what ever happened would have been traumatizing enough."

After several long moments, I finally realized that I was in the hospital wing, it hadn't occurred to me until just now. Then, I remembered something, "I have a Transfiguration final that I'm supposed to be taking right now!"

Al shook his head and muttered, "You're still worried about that when you're in the hospital wing?"

"Honey, what day is it?" My mother asked nervously.

"The…" I had to think, I had only been in school for a week, so I answered, "January 9th."

My mum frowned, "no, honey, that was the day of your accident," she looked hesitant to tell me more, "It's the 12th"

"What?" I asked, hurting my own head with the high pitch of my voice.

"Lily, you have to just stay calm and lay here," My mother ordered, "James, can you go get Madam Pomfrey and tell her that Lily is awake?"

He nodded and I didn't see him, "W-What happened?"

Madam Pomfrey came rushing over towards me and asked, "Miss Potter, may I ask what in the world you were doing before you got in this terrible accident?"

"No, you can't" I said, feeling rather like my father with my tongue that just wouldn't stop.

"I beg your pardon!" The old woman said heatedly

"Lily!" My mother scolded.

James sniggered but Al just kept his same face on, not taking his drowsy eyes off of me. "Tell me young lady, exactly what you were doing before your accident."

I opened my mouth to speak, but then I closed it right back up again, "Lily," my mother told me in a warm voice, "Please tell the woman what you were doing before your accident."

So, I knew what I had to do, lie, "I can't remember," I told them.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Madam Pomfrey asked, feverishly, checking my forehead which throbbed with pain and heat.

"Eating breakfast with Addie," I lied again, I remembered everything, even the sound my head made when it hit the floor with so much strength.

"Then, can you help explain these," she revealed all of my scars and scratches and black and blue marks. My mother gasped in horror as James and dad just stared, Al, unlike anyone else, just looked at me.

I tried to act surprised too, "What are those?"

"Miss Potter, these were shown to have been caused several days before your accident, is something going wrong at home or at school?"

"No!" I shouted, my voice high and squeaking.

"Then where did they come from?" Asked James, completely horrified at what he saw.

"I-I" my family's expressions were all killing me, especially Al's who had the sulkiest face of them all, "Okay, I'll tell you, this has been happening for a long time."

My mother shuddered and took my icy cold hand, "I can't remember what happens and I find bruises on myself, like whole days go missing, I always have to ask Addie what our homework was."

Albus's expression didn't change, he just stared at me. My mother's warm hands tightly held my own as the tears silently fell down her face. James was never one for actually showing concern, but today, it seemed like he would start to care.

"Why didn't you tell us before?" My mother asked, wiping off some of the tears that had escaped from her eyes.

"I thought I could handle it," I told her honestly, one thing out of many that actually had some truth in it.

"Well if it weren't for Al, you'd be… well, worse off than you are right now," James told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking towards my older brother.

"Al was the one that carried you here, got a black eye for you too, although he won't talk to us, we figured he wanted to talk to you first, but he hasn't said a word yet" James stated, but my eyes hadn't wavered from Al.

He had seen everything… Alex, the marks, but had he seen me kissing Alex? "Could I have a word with Al for a minute?" I asked quietly

The three of them left so that Al stood at the edge of my bed alone, "You know what he did," he whispered quietly, "I followed you out of the great hall, because the way that you looked at him made a warning go off in my head, you knew what was going to happen yet you still followed him!" Albus said, his anger increasing. "You know, sometimes you can be really stupid, you know that?"

I just stared at my hands, "How long has this been going on?"

When I didn't answer, he sighed, and planted down a spot right next to me on my bed. "Lily, how long has he been doing this to you?"

"Well… it started the end of third year, but it's been getting increasingly worse as time passes." I murmured, my lips trembling out the truth.

He ran his fingers through his hair once and said, "God damn it Lily, why didn't you tell anyone before it came to this?"

"I thought that you would think I was weak," I murmured, "and if I would have told you about it you would have first thought it was Matt and would go off on him…"

"I wouldn't have thought that it would have been Matt because he was the one to warn me" Albus said, then I could tell he regret saying it.

"What do you mean Matt was the one to warn you?" I asked.

"He was the one that told me to look out for that Alex kid, said that he kept on staring at you all the time," Al said as-a-matter-of-factly, "When I saw you kissing him I nearly threw up."

So he had seen that, great, "Matt told you to watch out for Alex?" I repeated.

"Yes, he did, he didn't want you getting hurt, and I can safely say that he's definitely not happy right now." He told me, "He's been wallowing around school and won't come here because he's terrified of dad, because dad was furious with him when you came home the night before coming here."

I stared at my fingernails, "Addie was up here, she gave you those," he pointed to a cage that was sitting on the floor, "I don't know what she was thinking, but Madam Pomfrey almost lit up on fire when she saw it come in here."

My eyes wavered over to the cage on the floor, I went to pick it up but I set my head back down on the pillow after I felt the pain serge through my body. Albus took out his wand and flicked the cage over onto my lap, in the cage, sat two little pygmy puffs, one was purple, the other one was a flaming red, "George reckons that they were both the last ones left, they were both lonely until he put them in the same cage, they're happy as clams now… Addie says that it was a shame to separate them, she wanted to surprise you when they came by owl, but that's when she found out what had happened… but I don't know their names…"

I was glad to get off of the subject, but Al had other ideas, "Am I that horrible of a brother?"

"What?"

"If you didn't tell me then I must be doing something wrong, and I know what I was like when we were younger, but this is totally different, he could have killed you if I hadn't followed you and been a good brother," Al reminded me.

"Alex would never kill anyone," I said defensively.

"How can you tell? By swapping spit with him?"

I swiftly took out my wand and told him very seriously, "I'm very sorry Al, but it will be better off if you didn't know."

I flicked my wand once and my concentration was focused on Al, who fell over backwards when I was done with him, "Its better off that he doesn't know," I told myself, not believing what I had just said. Madam Pomfrey came out of her office after I had put my wand away, and she asked "What the devil is going on here?"

"I showed him a scar of mine and he fainted." I lied once again through my teeth.

She lifted Al up onto a nearby bed and had the family come back in. "What happened to Al?" James asked, but mum looked even worse than she had before.

"He just fainted," I told them, but my mum was lifting Al's hair out of his face, she whispered quietly to herself "Why today?"

I was protecting the guy that was hurting me, and I was emotionally hurting everyone that loved me… something is definitely not right here.

_Sorry for the short and sucky chapter, but I showed all of you that Lily does have great power, because not many people can erase other people's minds, espcially people that they care about. Yes, Hermione did it, but I view her as stronger than Harry in many ways, yes he beat Voldemort, but come on, she is one tough witch that he better have thanked._

_Things to look forward to in the coming chapters:  
More Matt  
Addie and her new crush gush. (this guy has been mentioned in the story already so its no one new)  
You get to see what happened to Alex after Al got to him  
The "M" chapter  
And some history will repeat itself_

_*hides suspense button from you all* MUUUAAAHHHAA *attempt at evil laugh*_


	15. Mary Flint had it coming

**_Please Review, and have a Happy Thanksgiving! Unless you don't celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday.... then.... well.... Happy Regular Day!_**

The argument raged on in my mind as I sat alone in bed.

_He had no right to know about what Alex does, he was being too nosy and got what he deserves._

_But if he knows then I wouldn't get beat up anymore_

_That's not true and you know it! You know how Alex would get back at you_

_He wouldn't kill me_

_How would you know what he would do_

_Because I know him_

_You also thought that he could never hurt you_

_That was-_

_It wasn't different, it's the same thing_

_He still is better off not knowing_

_Oh and your mother crying at night is, she is freaking out about your 'memory lapses' if you weren't paying attention to Professor Longbottom when he gave us that speech on how to be careful…_

_I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT_

_Of course you didn't mean to, but it still happened_

_Then why does she still worry?_

_Because of you, she worries too much about you, she does it to all three of you_

_But if Al were to know about Alex then Alex would get Al… I couldn't let that happen to him_

_So instead of telling a teacher, or someone who can put that little bastard in his place, you just stand there and be his punching bag, oh that's rich_

"_SHUT UP!"_I screamed loudly, making Madam Pomfrey jump high out of her seat, I clutched my head as it throbbed in pain, she came over to me and I said numbly, "make it go away, please, make it go away."

She wouldn't let me have any visitors for the rest of the day, and she was going to put on another two days to my 'jail' time, which became my new nickname for the hospital wing.

Resting was something that had been troublesome for me the past few days, my dreams consisted of Alex taking it out on me, Alex beating up Al, and my family finding out that I knew who the person was but I had lied to them.

Addie hadn't come to visit me, Alex didn't dare show his face around me, and neither had Matt, but it seemed that the rest of the school showed up to come and see me in the hospital wing. Most bringing gifts and giving hugs, saying that when they heard that they were shocked, I knew that only a few people genuinely cared about my health… that was about five of the people that visited me.

Miles Goldstein came in on Friday, both eyebrows had grown back, and no toast had been following him into the room, he mumbled something, turned very red, gave me a quick hug, dropped something on the tray, and ran the hell out of the jail.

Tyler Moon came into the hospital wing early on Thursday, telling me that he was sorry about what happened, then, what he did obviously surprised us both, he kissed me on the cheek and nearly fainted when walking swiftly back to the door leaving the jail. He was one of the five that I actually believed.

Aunt Gabrielle came, and I wish she hadn't… I don't know, but something about her always made me angry, she made mum break countless things out of anger and whenever she invited herself to dinner, she made eyes at dad, which he did not return. She did this even with her husband sitting right there.

I pleaded Madam Pomfrey to let me go early, but she wouldn't hear of it, not even a suggestion. I was stuck, this was considered jail. After I pleaded her, Mary Flint came to visit me.

She was very quiet at first, "so… who did this?" she asked, looking at the few plain sight marks that I had, especially my neck.

Mary Flint was the first one to actually ask me, "I don't know, as you might have heard, I can't remember who the guy or girl is."

"It's a guy," she told me, "I wish you would stop being so stupid and actually admitting that you know the truth, you know everything, it will save everyone time and your body a lot of hurt. Alex told me everything."

I forgot to breathe, "oh" I said, inhaling hard.

"Yeah, I know." She told me, eying me, "Why do you continue to be hurt by him, and not stick up for yourself?" Mary asked me rather out of the blue.

"It's complicated." I muttered to my hospital wing cozy socks.

"This is exactly why you weren't placed in Gryffindor, you don't have the guts to tell any adult, you're too afraid of the unknown," Mary told me, with a hiss. "God, grow up Potter, this is the real world that you're dealing with, Alex will only talk and act tough shit, but he won't go to any real extremes, you just don't listen to his lies."

I stared right at her and told her, "You think you know everything, well, Mary, just to let you know, your 'boyfriend' and I have made out, a lot."

Soon I regretted this, I saw her face turn pale, "You made out with Alex?" she muttered, I inhaled hard again, god, that could have been bad.

"Several times, with tongue," I added with a Slytherin worthy grin, "How does that make you feel Flint?"

She ran out of the hospital wing in tears, but I just lie back in bed, putting my hands behind my head and muttering, "Bitch."

Just as it was time that I got dinner, my mum came in, she had been coming periodically every single day this week, "Hi mum, want toast?" I asked her as she came into the wing, holding it out for her to grab.

"No sweetie, it's fine, you eat up," she told me, giving me an unconvincing smile, "Honey, have you been eating alright here?" Oh great, the real questions were coming now.

I waited a few seconds before answering, I pretend to swallow "Yeah, why?"

"Well… Madam Pomfrey told me that you only weighed 98 pounds when you first came in here," my mom stared at her hands when speaking, but I was overjoyed with the news.

"Really?!" I asked, Alex wouldn't hit me anymore; I had hit my target, even though you could see most of my bones.

"Lily, that isn't a good thing for girls your size, you are suppose to have more pounds on you, this isn't healthy," she told me seriously, "Have you been puking yourself to lose weight?"

The real answer was, "only when I thought necessary," but I didn't think I could break my mum's heart even more than it had been broken… although the nagging angel on my shoulder told me to tell her the truth.

"Just a few times, so that I could lose just a few pounds," I murmured, my mum put her head in her hands, covering up her face.

"How long has this been going on?" She asked me.

"Not long…"

"How long" she said sternly, hardly ever had my mother aimed that tone of voice at me, it was a death sentence if you didn't answer honestly.

"Just a couple of months ago, mum, it's not that big of a deal, it's just-"

My mum's fingers ran through her long red hair, "Just a couple of months, just a couple of pounds, then it's just a couple of days until you'll stop, then it's an obsession that you can't stop, Lily, you need to gain that weight back, healthily, you can't go doing things like this, you are hurting yourself more than your body can take it."

"Don't I know it," I thought it my head, but then I said out loud, "I know mum, I'll stop."

"You don't know." I heard her mumble, but I acted as though I hadn't.

Mum left when visiting hours were over, to let me get some rest, and she wouldn't leave till I promised her to stop gagging myself. It killed to lie so much; soon I wouldn't be able to tell what the truth was and what the lies were. I knew that the truth always came out sooner or later, it was the first thing that my mum taught me growing up, but I thought that it didn't apply to this situation… boy was I ever wrong about that.

_*HIDES ALL SUSPENSE BUTTONS HASTILY(giggle, my choir teacher's name is hasty) INTO VARIOUS PLACES THAT NONE OF HER READERS CAN FIND*  
My favorite parts of thanksgiving:  
Dark meat  
Mashpotatoes  
Dinner Rolls  
Family  
and  
A well deserved break from writing this story although I enjoyed writing this chapter so much, I just need a little time off, and I'm on **break** but apparently readers (most often they are the ones that try to break the suspense buttons) want me to "hurry up" and "be quick" and "I need the next chapter now!!!!" ughh, it's just exhausting to be completely honest with you. And my hairy legs are pissed because I keep on forgetting to tell my mom we need shaving cream... god, I just saw them again and I want to gag. *No pun intended*  
Please, Please, Please, don't forget to review!!!_

I'm taking a short break from writing this story, well, from all writing, let's see how long I last :P


	16. Poking at my insides

**_Please Review!_**

I spent five more days in jail before finally being released by a very reluctant Madam Pomfrey who was very please at how I had gained two pounds just being in the hospital wing. "If you have any more memory lapses, you come straight to my office and we'll get it settled out, okay?"

I just nodded my head to get out of there, I needed to see my friends, I needed to be around them, I needed to find out what the names of the pygmy puffs were because I kept on calling them "thing one" and "thing two" from a muggle book that my mother read to me when I was little.

When she finally discharged me at dinner time on Friday, I went straight to the common room, where, I didn't see Matt. I hadn't heard from anyone on whether Matt had ever come out of the boy's dormitory or not.

Addie wasn't in my sight, but no one was in the common room, it was completely empty until a first year boy came through the portrait hole. "Hey Lily," he said casually, heading towards the boy's dormitory.

"Wait, did you know if Matthew Perks came out of the boy's dormitories?" I asked quickly, to the strawberry blonde haired boy.

"He only comes out for classes and meals mostly… I can go get him if you want…"

"No, that's alright, I bet he's eating… and I want to surprise him," I told the boy, who I just now recognized as Nathan Creevy, his uncle had been killed in the battle of Hogwarts, which had our parents grow closer together, since my dad had known his dad a little bit.

I rushed up the stairs, knowing full well that Nathan would go up there and tell Matthew that I was down there, and he'd run down there like an idiot, and I wanted to look half decent when I saw him, the hospital wing made me look like a complete mess.

The only things that I did were: brushed my teeth, combed my hair once, and changed clothes to make me smell nicer. I quickly hopped down the stairs to find Matthew, gorgeously handsome, Perks standing in front of the portrait hole, muttering something under his breath. He hadn't caught sight of me, yet, when he did, his face lit up with excitement. I ran towards him, hard, all I wanted to do was grab a hold of him and never let go, he was my safety blanket, nothing bad happened to me when I was around him, with the exception of embarrassment and my dad.

I wrapped my arms around him, and he lifted me up off of the ground, catching me a little off guard, no pun intended. He held me tight and for once, it didn't ache to be hugged by someone, without the bruises, I didn't have any real limits.

When he set me back down I asked, "why didn't you come and visit me?"

"Someone else was always in there when I checked," he told me, I didn't know whether to believe him or not.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, Addie didn't show up either," I told him, a little disappointed in the two. "I wish that you would have come up to see me."

"You seemed pretty busy without me there to distract you from getting better," he teased, but something about him had… changed. Maybe it was the way that he looked at me, no, I had seen that look before, but it didn't seem to really be him. "Is something wrong?" I asked him.

"Just…" I knew what he was getting to… several Slytherins had commented about it before they were thrown out of the hospital wing for getting me all angry. "Why did you lie? Why didn't you turn Alex in?"

I took a deep breath, and told him the answer as plainly and truthfully as I could, "I was scared, not just for me, but for other people's sake's..."

"But Lily, there isn't anything to be afraid of," he told me, his expression changing to more concerned, "when you tell them, they'll understand your position, they might not fully understand why you lied to them but…"

"Stop," I said, raising up my hands, "I don't want to talk about any Alex business right now, I don't want to talk about how I've been ill for the past week and a half, and I certainly don't want to talk about my new 'weight problem' that my family has noticed and will be keeping tabs on my weight." I said, full of frustration, "I just want to be with you and I just want us to talk about normal stuff, not this."

He could tell how I was obviously upset about this, and said, "sure, sure, anything Lily," he sat on the couch, and he became my pillow, even though there were various pillows set around the common room.

"Nice weather huh?" he said vaguely, stroking my hair and looking out the window, the rain poured down onto the window.

"I said normal, not weird." I said, disappointed in his lack of attention, "please, I need a distraction from everything that I'm worrying about that we aren't going to mention."

He stopped playing with my hair, and then he said, "Okay, I'll give you one," a smile came onto his face, then, as I had suspected, he leaned in for a long, breath taking kiss.

I smiled and I told him, "Did you know that Addie got me pygmy puffs?"

"She got you pets?" he asked, I nodded, trying to keep the conversation going. "Two, but she didn't tell me what they were named, so I kept on calling them thing one and thing two, from Dr. Seuss."

"Oh, I remember that story," he said with a laugh.

We continued to have a semi normal conversation until all of the Ravenclaws came in, asking me several questions about my health, weight, and if I would be in the Daily Prophet again. I didn't want to know what would happen tomorrow when the Slytherins got a hold of me.

"I knew you've been looking really thin," said a second year Ravenclaw girl.

My weight problem, had become everyone's concern, my bruises, became everyone's wonder, and the rest of me, was being picked at and observed by the rest of the school. I didn't know how much I could really take of this, I left up to the girl's dormitories, and Addie wasn't there. I sat on my bed and I started to just let the tears fall.

Mum worried about me all the time now,

Dad wasn't speaking to me,

Albus might get hurt because of me,

James will send letters asking how I'm feeling,

Matt won't be able to look at me the same,

Alex will hurt me if I do anything else wrong,

Addie hasn't even talked to me since it happened,

And the rest of the school was staring at me as if I were something of great interest to make their boring lives seem a bit more interesting.

It hurt to know that I had so many people looking out for me, but I turned them down instead of accepting their help. I had put this all on myself, I had no one else to blame for me being like this… but how do I change it? How do I get better?

_Sorry, but I can't remember what I put down here.  
But this is the third time I've uploaded this thing so here I go_


	17. Mary Flint, the good?

**_Please Review! Thanks :D_**

No less than a month after getting out of the hospital wing, Alex wanted to "talk" to me again. It was after all of my classes had been done, and I couldn't say that I had to do homework, because it was a Friday, and no teacher would give you homework on a Friday, unless you were Mrs. Fletcher, who I did not have this year, so I was without an excuse.

He took my hand with such a force that I was knocked off my balance and fell flat onto the floor, he just laughed and pulled me up.

"Come on, we've got some work to do with you," he snarled angrily.

He pushed me through the room of requirement and slammed the door shut behind us. "Please, don't," I muttered, already cowering below him, he seemed so much taller than before, than I had ever seen him. It never helped that I was close to the shortest kid in my year.

"Just cooperate, and this will be over within a minute," he told me, pushing me up against the wall and pulling me into him to kiss him in such a forceful way, I let out a scream.

He pulled away, so I stopped screaming. His anger rose to the top of his head, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Get away from me!" I shouted angrily, trying to push him, but he wouldn't budge, my arms weren't as strong as his, they never were. "I'm breaking up with you!"

"No, you're not." Alex said with a laugh, I struggled, and said, "Yes I am, I can't take your shit anymore Alex and I refuse to be your punching bag, go and throw your temper problem into something constructive."

He looked even bigger to me than before, he pulled me up off of my feet by the collar of my shirt. "What did you say?" He asked, his teeth gritted tightly together.

"I told you, you have a temper problem, and you need to fix it," I swallowed hard, waiting for his gaze to drop or for him to hurt me.

He moved his hand so that my head and the wall had no space between the two, and his hand was tight against my neck.

"Say it again," he dared, almost spitting in my face.

"No, you've heard me."

"Say it!" he yelled, my face so close to his nose.

"No" I shouted, he dropped me and my head hit the floor hard, but I got up quickly. "I'm breaking up with you! I'm not doing this anymore!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, but his rage just came at me full force, only kissing is what he demanded of me, and he stuck his tongue down my throat. He got angry when I pushed him back and he pulled me closer. When I wouldn't cooperate, and I bit his tongue, hard, he pulled out and hit me. His fist had hit the bridge of my nose, and I could feel the blood coming to rush out of my nose. I was closest to the door, so I made a run for it, I heard his footsteps trailing behind me, I opened the door and ran as fast as I could, but Alex has longer legs than I do, so he could run faster. I started screaming at the fact that he was gaining on me. "Come back here!" he shouted, I was almost in his reach when I turned the corner to find someone standing there.

I pushed them in front of me and said, "I told you, I'm not going out with you anymore, I'm through with you Alex!" I screamed.

"Get out of my way!" Alex shouted, to whomever it was, I never looked at my savior yet, but I saw that it was a girl, she was wearing heels. I didn't look up.

"Please, Alex, I don't want this anymore, go and beat on something, not someone, else!" I pleaded, pushing the person more in front of me.

I felt the person dig out their wand, "You wouldn't dare hit another pureblood, would you?" Alex smirked, I could hear the corners of his mouth come up.

I heard a muttered spell and I heard a loud thudding on the floor. The girl, I now noticed, had blonde hair, and she turned around to face me, Mary Flint. I now would have to be nice to her… I wonder how long that will last.

All she said was, "I'm not saving your ass again, because I told you that you needed to tell someone, but you didn't." And she went on her way down the corridor, not saying a word to me, or helping my bleeding nose.

I limped over to another corridor, where I found several other students gasping at me, most of them were first years, but I saw Addie come out of the crowd shouting, "MOVE OUT OF MY WAY! MOVE OR YOU'LL BE HEXED!"

When she finally reached me she inspected my nose until she concluded, "it's broken."

"I kind of knew that one…" I murmured annoyed that she wasn't helping numb the pain that was coursing through my face.

"Come on, I'll bring you up to the hospital wing, but I won't go in there." She told me.

After my "accident", Addie had told me about her irrational fear with hospitals, because when her mom was a healer. One day when Addie was six, her mom took her to work with her, she met this older woman who seemed very nice and lovely, she was just getting old and her heart wasn't working just right.

Addie then came to see this lady every single day until one Thursday afternoon, the older lady wasn't feeling that well. Addie made her a card so that she would feel better, but the old woman wasn't waking when Addie had told her that she had finished her card for her. Addie went and got her mum, but by the time that they had arrived, the old woman was dead.

Addie now just has her mom evaluate her and she makes sure that she stays healthy.

She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and barked at anyone who got into her way of getting to the hospital wing, at one point, we bumped into Tyler Moon, who looked at me with the biggest eyes. I knew he was still staring at me from down the hall. When the eyes had slowly slimed down to hardly any, now the world will be speculating about me again, and poking at me. Mum would find out and want to come here, but I'd be discharged by the time that she could get here, but then again, Madam Pomfrey could make me stay later than she does for normal nose breaks…

Addie hadn't talked to me since telling me that she wouldn't go into the hospital wing. When we had gotten up all of those steps, she looked at me again and shook her head, "I can't believe that you won't tell someone, someone that can do something about this… mess."

I knew that she would give me a hug, if I didn't have blood all over me now. Which I just looked down, I had a lot of my blood in my hands, and even more down my front. I just realized this, Flint had gotten blood on her…. So she was a bloody Mary. Pun very much intended.

The door to the hospital wing burst open, but just before that Addie had opened her mouth, to say something to me, but now she closed her mouth shut. Madam Pomfrey stared at me, gasping, then she shoved me into the hospital wing, I looked back at Addie, who seemed very depressed. Then the hospital door swung shut on her, Madam Pomfrey kept on talking to me, but my attention was diverted from her to a boy who now sat straight up in his bed, staring at me. Matthew, gorgeously handsome, Perks raised both of his eyebrows at me, she sat me down on the bed that was across from Matt's.

Madam Pomfrey put her hands on my cheeks and said, making my head face her, "Ms. Potter, how on earth did you get like this?"

Matt looked at me, wanting the truth to finally come out… but I couldn't risk that. The fear dwelled into my heart and I swallowed hard, "I can't remember."

"Dear god child, thank goodness you came straight to me, unlike your father who would just wait it out before coming here. He broke his nose too, in his sixth year, but he wouldn't let me fix it," Madam Pomfrey inspected my nose, while the blood gushed out onto my clothes and hands.

"Teddy's mum fixed it for him," I told her, blood accidentally coming into my mouth as I spoke.

Madam Pomfrey snorted and whipped her wand out, muttering several incantations, I let out a loud scream because she hadn't warned me about the pain that would come with moving the bones in your nose.

I wanted to swear but I knew that I would lose several house points in doing so. When she had finally finished, I finally stopped screaming. On the bed across from me, Matt stared in horror at me.

After several poking questions aimed at me, Madam Pomfrey made me change clothes. When she had gotten all of the blood from my face, she let me get some rest, which consisted of whispering to Matt.

"Why are you here?" I asked him, he was staring at me.

"Muggle flu, but I already know why you were here." He told me, quietly staring at his feet.

My eyes diverted to anything other than Matt, "you're not mad at me, are you?"

"That little shit is getting, basically, away with murder and you won't pull out the courage to tell someone about him." Matt said, his teeth clenched, his eyes staring angrily at me.

"Don't be mad" I muttered, taking a deep breath, "please don't get mad."

"You're not doing anything about him and teachers can't do anything about it unless you or Alex tells someone!" Matt was breathing heavily.

"How would you know?" I shot back.

"Because I tried to tell them, but McGonagall told me that she had to have you tell her!" He covered his mouth after the words had escaped from his lips.

This was the first time that I had ever seen Matt get this angry, but the bubbling anger inside of me grew stronger. I got up out of my bed, and left to go to Madam Pomfrey's office, which was right by the door to the hospital wing.

"May I be discharged?" I asked, blinking my eyes once.

Before she could speak I said, "There isn't any real reason that you could keep me, because I've read the school handbook three times now, I know it front to back."

She nodded her head once and I left out the door. Addie was sitting against the wall opposite the door. Her eyes came up to me, and she stood quickly up, "I didn't think she'd let you go so early, I would have thought that you would have wanted to stick around to see Matt…"

"No," I told her flatly, trying to walk faster than her, but she kept up.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You're not a very good liar, Lily"

"Obviously I can since my whole life is basically a big fat lie!" I exclaimed angrily, turning towards Addie , we had both stopped to look at each other.

"Lily, maybe you should calm down then tell me what is making you act like this." She said, taking deep breaths herself.

"Matt went and told McGonagall about what Alex does, but she won't believe him because he's never actually seen it happen." I told her, and her expression softened.

"Oh Lily… maybe… it's not the worst thing he could have done." Addie had me come to the side of the corridor and sit down against the wall. "He's just trying to protect you, he doesn't want you to get hurt anymore. He's a witness to it every day, he sees how unhappy you've been, and he's just worried about you."

"I told him not to though!" I exclaimed angrily putting my head into my hands and shaking my head. "I cannot believe he did this."

"Well maybe we all can't just sit back and watch you get hurt, can we?" Addie shot back angrily.

I knew she had every reason to be angry at me, and every right to be furious, because I hadn't done a single thing about this problem… I was the single reason as to why it had gone on this long… I was hurting myself. I had too much self pity… I lacked courage.

Things I could change… but were things ready to change for the better?

_Horray for a longer chapter! Horray for many things about this chapter!  
Making the "Author Notes" is almost better than writing this story, because I get to look back at the chapters and I await your approval or how you think I can improve the story :)  
I'm really sorry to say this but more than likely, I won't post till... late late late... or not till after the 15th. Because, I have Winter Formal, One-Act Auditions (one act is like a play thing that you compete against other schools for), Choir Concert, Hopefully One-Act call backs!!!!!, and a boatload of homework from Math because I always get a lot of homework in math and a project in Social because our whole team could not shut the hell up!!!! Uh... The anger that is in me is wayyy too much. But I am quite happy, all thanks to a certain something, that is listed at the top of the list. :)  
I will not be writing most of next weekend for two reasons, but only five words "Choir Concert and Winter Formal" Winter Formal is on Saturday and Choir Concert is on Monday but we have all-day rehersal on Sunday... Which means I won't get much sleep. :( I love sleep.  
ALMOST FORGOT, IF YOU LOOK ON MY PROFILE YOU CAN SEE A LINK TO SEE KIND OF WHAT I THINK LILY LOOKS LIKE, BUT NOT EXACTLY!  
Anyways, I really hope that you all have a great weekend/week till I post. And here is your weekly teaser:  
COMING SOON TO THIS STORY, BUT NOT TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU: (Tee hee)  
Summer Vacation  
The "M" chapter draws nearer (and sorry, I cannot tell you of whom it is between).  
and...  
Many surprises. :)_

_But I was just wondering... what would you think of a sequel? Yes, No, Depends on what happens later? Please give me feedback, and I'd really love to see more reviews from the shy people that follow my story but never review :) I like you guys too, come on, I won't bite.... well at least I won't bite you and you'll turn into a Vampire or Werewolf or turn out like Bill and crave rare meat._


	18. April Showers bring Matt Flowers?

**_Please Review! :D Sorry for the shortness, again._**

I had ignored Matthew until one late April Monday morning after the post had come, with my awful picture on the front page. "I cannot believe this," I mumbled angrily.

"I know," Addie told me, "It's been four years and you still haven't gotten your own daily prophet instead of ripping up mine every other week."

I shot her a glare and my eyes went over the sentences again, my eyes caught, "Danger at Hogwarts," "Uncaring parents," and "Unloved by everyone."

She poked me with a piece of bacon and said, "Eat. You don't need anyone else on your case about that again, do you?"

I took a bite from my egg and asked, "Happy?"

"Not quite," she told me, her eyes wandering down the table.

"I'm not talking to him if that's what you're thinking," I told her dismissively.

"Oh don't be such a bitch; if McGonagall would have believed him, then you wouldn't be in this whole situation." Addie said bitterly, "And I was thinking about telling her myself but she'd just rub me off too and think that Matt sent me."

I tried to ignore her by taking a piece of bacon and shoving it into my mouth. "You have no right to be mad at him, he's just doing this because he is desperately in love with you and he wants to be with you but he can't until your relationship with Alex is over."

Addie didn't even seem to care that she had let out Matt's deepest and darkest secret, "What?!" I asking in a high squeaking voice that made everyone around us turn to stare at me.

"Oh don't play dumb," She put an egg in her mouth, "You told him you loved him, he loves you back, so what is the big deal? You act like you don't want any help from us, but at the same time, you would rather have this all over with."

"Summer break is coming up soon, so I won't have to deal with him then, he doesn't dare come in ear shot of my dad." I told her, shaking my head.

"Maybe Alex has got different plans than that, and if you remember Matt is dead scared of your dad too." Addie reminded me.

"What do you mean different plans?" I turned towards her.

"You told me what he did just this past winter, pulling out your own uncle's gadget to use against you, Matt having to do that ridiculous spell so that he could hold your hand was pathetic. Matt has put up with a lot of shit for you; it's time that you accept it before he gets heartbroken from you and tries to move on." Addie told me, heatedly, her face almost blue from talking to me.

"What do you mean move on?" I asked.

"Matt isn't going to just sit around and wait for you; do you really not see how much other girls like him?" Addie told me, finally getting my undivided attention.

"No. I haven't" I murmured quietly, staring at my plate.

"Then go to him," Addie said, looking down the table and pointing, "He's right there."

"You know, I really hate it when you're right… thankfully that only happens on rare occasion." She hit me with her daily prophet.

I went down the table and found Matt, who was talking to Tyler Moon, who became very red when he saw me. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked quietly, he tilted his head up from his food and swallowed hard, "Sure."

He followed me outside of the great hall and down to an empty corridor. "I'm really sorry," I blurted out.

Matt just raised an eyebrow at me, "for what?"

I sighed, "Matt, I shouldn't have been mad at you, you were just trying to help… no matter how hard I don't want to believe it, but if McGonagall would have believed you, then this would all be over."

"You can still tell her, say that I was the one to tell her," Matt told me, his eyes searching my face, but I just shook my head.

"You know I can't do that, he would still know that I would have told someone." I muttered. Professor Longbottom came into ear shot and I jumped straight up at the sound of his commanding voice.

"Oh Lily, just who I wanted to see!" he announced to me and Matt, the only other people in the corridor. "Shit" I mumbled. I had never been less pleased to see him in my entire life.

"What did you need professor?" I asked politely.

He eyed Matt for just a second before answering, "I need to speak to you in private."

Matt was hesitant to leave, but eventually did; Mr. Longbottom seemed taller than usual. "Lily, I've been told to keep an extra eye on you, do you have any idea why this may be?" he asked, looking down.

Admittedly, I was short, but he just seemed like Hagrid right now. "No sir, I have no idea."

"A certain student has told me that you, have needed to go to the hospital wing quite often after classes to get rid of some-" I stopped him right there.

"You can just come out and say it was my dad and you don't have to hiding behind the bush okay? Or was it my mom, she's been worried sick too."

"So you have been going to the hospital wing after classes because of someone injuring you?" Neville questioned.

"Yes I have," I told him shortly.

"Do you know who this person is; have they found anything about him or her?" He asked, and I felt as if I was being interrogated by the police.

I placed my hands on my hips, "Mr. Longbottom, as you more than likely already know, I do not recall anything right before or much after the accidents. You can just imagine what they Slytherins have already come up with for reasons as to why they happen, but only one person in this whole school knows all the truth. Luckily for me, Madam Pomfrey is more than willingly to help me get better, now Professor, as you can clearly see; I have to go see Madam Pomfrey again to do a check up, because she has to check on my ribs that got cracked last week."

I tried side stepping him but he stepped right in front of me, "I think that we both know that more than one person in this school know what really goes on with your so called 'accidents' Lily," He told me.

"Well think what you want Mr. Longbottom, but I must go, Madam Pomfrey will yell at me if I am late again for another check up." I told him, rushing past him and not wanting Herbology to come two days from now. I actually had to go up to Madam Pomfrey and get those ribs checked out; she had to give me some medications before sending me off to Transfiguration.

"Now, can anyone tell me whether Animagi learn their trade, or does it come from hereditary?" Mrs. Keeney asked us, only I was raising my hand. "Yes, Miss Potter, you may answer."

"Animagi are able to learn it, but now it has been found that it can come from family members, but you take different forms according to your inside personality." I told her, Addie gave me a roll of the eyes when Professor Keeney said, "Again, correct Miss Potter, five points for Gryffin-" she caught herself and stared at me. Completely bewildered, "I'm sorry, five points to Ravenclaw."

"She's said it so many times you would think that she would get it right this time," Addie mumbled to me, "Between you and Matt you guys get the most house points for us."

The sore wound on my heart reopened made me ache; it always hurt to be reminded that I was, surely not in the house of all of my ancestors before me. I sulked for the rest of class and was thankful by the time the end of the day rolled around. I plopped onto my bed and wished that I could be something else… someone else… My wish came true.

_Yes, I am technically breaking my own rules by writing this up tonight, but I'm feeling guilty about it and I won't be posting tomorrow because I don't know if I'll have time to BREATHE tomorrow... So Hi! Long time no type, huh? Lol. Sorry to all the people who worry, about the last part... you know... the suspense button has a mind of it's own, I swear!  
Winter Formal is tomorrow, I had to decline two of my ex boyfriends who both wanted to be more than friends, but here is the thing, they were the ones to break up with me. Confusing right? I'm actually going with a guy who is crazy for band, it is his heart and soul and he was also a knife in Beauty and the Beast :( but now its all done with and I'm sad and I'm having Musical Withdrawls... but I am already in another play. So that's good. Wow, I really get off task. I'm really excited for Winter Formal tomorrow though, it'll be fun... hopefully. :)  
I more than likely won't read your reviews till Sunday, so please either make a lot (so I can hopefully get over 100 in the next two chapters) or make a long one, I love talking to you guys, no matter how much you think your questions are stupid or if they get asked a lot, I love them and I don't really get that many questions, so think of some questions for me about the story!__Matt, he's always a good topic  
or Alex and how he is being mysterious and stuff, or you can just write how much you hate him, that works too._

Topics to refresh your memory:  
Neville  
Nice Mary Flint in the last chapter (I didn't hear any feedback of her D: )

_Coming Soon!:  
The "M" Chapter  
Lily's other side to her  
__and  
Addie's reaction_


	19. Wetness all around

**_Please Review!!! Thanks! :D_**

I leaped off of my bed and said "What in the hell?" I felt shorter than anything else, had everything else grown around me? Addie came into the room and let out a loud shriek, but while she screamed I ran out the door, then something kept on hitting my side, I couldn't tell what it was. I went into the common room, to find Matt, and he was sitting on the couch. I ran up to him and jumped onto his lap. He laughed and picked me up, how could I be that light?

"Where did you come from?" He asked, as if I were a baby.

What the hell was going on? Why doesn't he recognize me? And what is hitting me in the side! I looked back and there was a white little tail hitting the side of me, whack, whack, whack. Then, hopping out of Matt's arms and onto the floor, I had to chase it around, which only made me dizzy. I couldn't catch it! Matt picked me up once again and said, "Now where did you come from, little fellow?"

"What do you mean fellow?" I asked, but he just smiled.

"Now, whose pet are you?" He questioned.

"I'M NOT A BLOODY DOG!" I screamed, but he only smiled more.

"Attitude much today have we? Come on, let's go find your owner…"

Matt couldn't understand me… I must have been… barking. If this day could get any weirder, please, be my guest and write the rest of this day. Matt was taking me out of the common room, when he did, I leapt out of his arms and dashed out down the hallway, with Matt behind me, saying "No, wait! Come back!"

This may be my one and only chance to do this, I ran into the great hall and went over to the Slytherin table. I started to tell Alex Harper how I really felt about him in an angry tone, he just turned around towards me and got up out of his seat. He got angry and so, I wanted to do this, just this once, I pulled up a leg, and peed onto Alex Harper's foot.

He kicked me so hard that I slammed into the nearest wall, making a little whimper. Mary Flint, who was on the other side of the table, got up and looked as if she were about to yell something when I felt someone's gentle arms pick me up off the floor.

"Harper, why don't you pick on something your own size for once!" I heard Matt yell, but my puppy eyes were tired.

Alex muttered to Matt, "I do, and if you insist on it so much, I'll break something else of hers next time."

No one else but the four of us could hear. "Don't make me puke, Harper."

"Oh really, next time you see Lily, ask her who she's been making out with for the past two years." He snarled, but no other Slytherins but Mary could hear.

"Shove it, you stupid prat, you think that you're all high and mighty when you don't really know the truth to it all." Matt snarled, as Professor Flitwick came over to us in a hurry, "What is going on here?"

I tried to say "Alex hit me again!" but it just came out in barks.

"Alex kicked the dog, just because it had an accident on his shoes," Matt explained to the little professor, who surprisingly, had a small smile to his face and chuckled.

"Well, Mr. Harper, you just earned yourself a week's worth of detention." The old man told him. "And as for you, Mr. Perks, who does this dog belong to?"

"Uh… I don't really know sir, but it had to have been a Ravenclaw, unless the dog got in by solving a riddle." Matthew said, looking at me.

"Alright then, we'll take it up to the Head Mistress and we'll see who he or she belongs to." The old professor shuffled Matt out of the great hall, leaving a very furious Alex Harper with a wet leg. I enjoyed the ride, I didn't have to walk, and Matt's grip wasn't too tight.

I heard Flitwick say in a small voice, "Dumbledore" to the eagle, and it became stairs to the head mistress's office.

Now that I thought about it, I really should have bit him in the leg and say he had rabies. "Head Mistress, I am sorry to bother you, but we have a problem."

Matt talked about what had happened, leaving out most of the details of his private conversation with Alex.

"Who you are holding is not an animal, but is in fact a student." The professor smiled and got up from her desk, "She's a friend of yours in fact."

Matt relooked at my puppy dog eyes and raised an eyebrow. "I knew that she could do it, she had such a passion for Transfiguration, and her grandfather was an Animagus too."

Matt turned me around again and whispered in a quiet voice, "Lily?"

"Yes indeed, that is Lillian Potter, it must have skipped a generation, but that is now common among children." Matt stared at me wide eyed, and I just nodded my head.

"She is lucky to already have the talent to know how to do everything on her own, how to morph, how to become human again, and how to deal with her animagus form." The head mistress said delightfully.

Matt set me on the floor, and said, "Lily, can you come back now?"

Then, without thinking about it, I was on my hands and knees, on the floor. I saw my clothes and sighed with much relief. "Hello Miss Potter, nice for you to join us in your natural form."

"I'm not in trouble, am I?" I asked quietly, getting up onto my feet.

"Oh no, not at all," The head mistress laughed, making my head tilt to the right, "What?"

"You did not fully intend to do it my dear, you've just gotten more of your powers that your form thought that you were ready and when it took it's chance, it went with it." McGonagall said quietly, "But I would advise that you not cause such a ruckus nest time."

"Yes Professor." I told her, bowing my head.

When she released me from her office, I followed a fast paced Matthew, who was in some sort of a rush to go. "Matt, wait, where are you going?" I asked him, but he just kept on walking.

"Matt, wait, would you slow down?" I had finally gotten in front of him, to see his face. His eyes had tears in them, and he did not look an ounce bit happy with me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him quietly, putting my hands on his chest, "Matt?"

He just walked past me, but not without bumping me hard in the side. Had I crossed a dangerous line? Would I lose the people most important to me by keeping a secret quiet?

_Hi again! Long time no type, huh? Yes, I broke my own rules, naughty, naughty me! But for one whole night, I did not even think about my writing! Not one single worry about it and I find that to be absolutely amazing! Thanks to much of you who asked, Winter Formal was amazing, but it got cut a little short, but it was still amazing either way.  
P.S. A note to the not-so-wise, do not kiss boys, they give you cooties and make you sick! It happened to me, it can happen to you!_

A reminder about what had happened in the chapter:  
Mary Flint was about to stand up for a puppy,  
Addie's reaction to Lily's form,  
Matt's sadness,  
and....  
Alex's wet leg.

_Coming Up:  
Summer  
Daily Prophet  
and  
The "M" Chapter. (It has been pushed back to about six chapters or so away... sorry)_

_Thanks again for all the support and love, and don't forget to review! Oh, Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed for me, I never thought in my life I would make it to 102 reviews, ever!!!! Thanks so much!!!_


	20. You'll need me

**_Please Review!!!_**

"Matt!" I screamed, as he headed down an abandoned corridor, I had to run to have any chance of catching up to him.

He didn't even look back at me, just kept on walking. I ran in front of him and made him stop, my breath just catching up with me.

"What is wrong with you?" I asked, my hands just barely reaching up to his shoulders.

"What is wrong with me?" He repeated in a deadly murmur.

"Yes, you were the one that made me run after you for the past few miles in this god forsaken castle! Now tell me what you're upset about." I told him, half hysterically.

"Amazing," he muttered, "In this shitty situation that you dragged me into, you still find a way to blame me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked him.

"You heard me," His teeth were clenched and his eyes glaring down upon my very presence.

"What is going on with you?" I asked, slowly backing away from him.

"I'm sick of this, I'm sick of lying to everyone around me, I'm sick of keeping in all of your secrets, and I am sick of how you lie to everyone around you so much that you can't even tell what the truth is anymore." Matt said in his same deathly tone. "And I'm sick of you."

"W-What do you mean by that?" My bottom lip quivered, my body started to tremble.

"I'm sick of how you lie, I can't even tell who you are anymore, and you… you haven't told anyone besides me and Addie about this and you refuse to make this over with because you crave the attention and pity from the other students when you go into the hospital wing." Matt snarled.

"I crave attention?! Matt, you out of anyone would know that I hate getting all of this unwanted attention! About my weight, bruises, and everything else wrong with my life!"

"Have you even cared about how this has affected me, Addie, or anyone else that may know?"

"Of course I care about you guys."

"Well you have a pretty bad way of showing it," Matt looked down at me, "I'm done with you."

"What do you mean you're 'done with me'" I asked, my eyes searching his.

"I'm out of this situation, you can deal with it yourself, I don't need this, and I certainly don't need you." He spat, he started walking again but tears were already rolling down my cheeks, "Matt, don't do this."

He just kept on walking down the corridor. "Matt!" I screamed, but he didn't even look back.

My back slid down the wall, I covered my face and cried. I don't know how long I was there till I heard familiar footsteps running up to me. "Lily?"

"Go away," I told her.

"Lily, I'm here to help you."

"Go away" I repeated.

"Lily, you need to stop crying, so that I can help you."

"Why would you want to help me? You're the whole reason that I'm in this mess." I snarled in the direction of Mary Flint, who still seemed understanding and caring… oddly enough.

"For some odd reason Potter, I feel the compelling need to, because you're just so pathetic when you're like this. And how is this all my fault?" Mary was… hugging me, for some unknown reason.

"Alex told me that we should get back at you and Matt for kissing at the end of third year and that's how this all escaladed, from you." I coughed hard, and her smile was still warm and soft.

"No one but Alex controls this situation," she told me, "but you can take control now."

"What's the point in it? Why don't I just sit on the floor and let him beat me to death." I said through my hands.

"Shhh, don't say that." Mary told me.

"Why do you care now?"

"Isn't better that I care now than never?" Mary fired back.

I didn't say anything, nothing really needed to be said. "Come on, now what is wrong."

"Matt… he… doesn't…" I couldn't finish my sentence, but I got up with a jolt, wiping off my eyes, "You have to go, someone's coming."

"Why do I have to go?" Mary asked from the floor.

"Just go, you can't be here, I'll be fine." I told her, but she wasn't convinced. Instead, I ran towards the footsteps to find Alex. "Hey sweetums" he said airily.

I didn't speak, I just went up to him, pushing him into the wall and whispered into his ear, "If you make this hurt, I'll make you hurt even more."

Then, to his great surprise, I kissed him, full on the lips and everything. My hands were on the back of his head, and then my fingers started slowly running through his hair.

Something was still not right, when I pulled out from the kiss, something felt wrong, terribly wrong. It was something about the kiss, something was missing… My thoughts were interrupted when Alex said, "Hell, Potter, that was the best kiss in my entire life."

My stomach churned, "Me too." I lied.

My heart ached, it hurt, not like a little needle, like a bomb had gone off. Alex picked me up off of my feet and kissed me, the more I kissed him, the more I realized that this was not right, something was definitely not right.

When he thought that he was "finished," he let me down and tapped my head, "See you tomorrow, Potter."

I felt like throwing up, I was going to throw up, no, false alarm. I felt sick to my stomach; this feeling did not bode well with me.

I slowly walked up to the common room and when I got in there, Addie ran over to me, she could tell that I had been crying and in great desperation she said, "Let's go upstairs."

She was not good at hiding things, whatever she was hiding was behind her, when I moved her aside, to my complete horror, I saw Matt tangled up with a fifth year girl, who would sleep with any human being on the earth. It felt as if the whole world stopped, and the whole common room had gone silent. The anger and jealousy bubbled up inside me, you could tip me over and pour me out like a tea pot. The common room, had in fact gone silent, they all either stared at me, or at Matt and the whore he was sucking face with.

I plowed through the people, even knocking Addie aside, then, I finally knocked that slut off of Matt and yelled, "What are you doing?!"

"I was just kissing my girlfriend before you came over here and barged in," Matt told me, not even helping up his so-called girlfriend.

"Not even two hours ago, you told me you were done with me, and now you're making pda in the common room with the worst girl in Ravenclaw? What a coincidence." I said, the jealousy bubbling out of my ears.

"No, I think you're mistaking her for you." Matt snapped, he was red in the face now.

The whole common room was shocked; Addie was right behind me, about to knock some sense into Matt. "You know what I truly think about you Matt? Since, I apparently lie to you all the time!" I yelled, "I think that you are the most insufferable, obnoxious, boy that I know!"

Matt's eyes narrowed, just slightly, "And I don't care about you anymore, go suck however many girl's faces, but just don't come crying to me when they find out who you've become."

He raised an eyebrow, but kept the same expression, "Fine, I don't need you."

Tears filled my eyes again, "Fine."

I turned around and I could feel the buzzing already going through my ears, the gossip that would be talked about tomorrow at breakfast… the way that the daily prophet would some how find out about this fight.

I headed up the stairs, but I stopped part way up the stairs, because I heard Addie say, absolutely disgusted, "I thought you were different."

I went up the stairs, and slammed the door behind me. Locking it up tightly behind me, and taking out a little box from underneath my bed. I ripped the black box open and with tears falling down from my cheeks.

I took out the contents and started ripping them to little pieces, when Addie came into the room; each was about the size of a pea. She grabbed a hold of my arms and told me, "Lily, stop it, stop it, stop it."

My anger raged on and I kept on tearing up the paper, "Lily, you're going to regret tearing that up one day."

"No, I won't, he's a prat, and a git, and a flobber worm that should be smashed into the ground, you even heard him, he doesn't want me around, so I'll give him what he wants." I told her, the tears were now flowing down my cheeks, "Lily, stop that right now, you're scaring me." Addie told me very seriously.

I dropped everything and stepped away from the box, Addie took all of the little shreds of all my happy memories with Matt, and put them way out of my reach.

"Now what the hell is going on?" Addie asked me.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," but somehow Addie had me tell her the whole story, and convinced me that it had been the right thing to do, she sat me on my bed and told me, "You need Matt, and no matter how much he denies it, he needs you."

"So what if I do, it doesn't matter anymore." I muttered to my shoes.

"I think it does matter, because you need him more than ever…" she put something into her trunk, but I couldn't see what it was, "but maybe over the summer things between you two will get better?" Addie suggested.

Little did they both know that Addie was both right and wrong.

_I'm sad, :(, I'm sick and I don't get to see my Jelly today, which sucks :( (yes we actually call each other jelly and pb, lol)  
But in all fairness, I got sick because of him. So without Jelly, you wouldn't have this new chapter. (Jelly's actual name is Sam)  
And when I try to sing, I sound like Peter Brady going through his voice changes... It's sad that I'm actually serious about that.  
So off of the topic of me, and back to my story..._

_So, for all of you angry readers, I'm sorry! You needed to read this, it has to happen to have more depth in the later chapters! You need it, otherwise some words will have no meaning whatsoever. Again, sorry, but it needs to happen this way. So far, from the feedback that I've gotten, a sequel is wanted, as long as the ending is a good one... although I don't know about that yet... But just a fair warning, if I would do the sequel, then I would get like a month off of writing this story because it has been taking up all of my time, and I'm serious, my grades are suffering right now because of this story and my play and the fact that I am not good with keeping on task!  
Uh... thanks for reading my blabberings. I won't be able to post at all on Friday because I'll be at school from 7 am to 12:30 am the next morning_

_Next Chapter you should look forward to reading:  
The summer  
Addie's big crush (maybe, I haven't started it yet.)  
Hogwarts Letters  
And Addie at Lily's house. (Did anyone else notice that Addie has never been to Lily's house? Or the fact that you have no idea who Addie's mom and dad are TEE HEE, I do!)_

_Coming Up, but not the next Chapter:  
Back at Hogwarts  
The "M" Chapter  
Quidditch  
and  
My most dreaded chapter to write. (I have never yet mentioned this yet, but now you can sit on this and think about it for a while. :D sorry for the suspense button, but I haven't been able to hit it that often recently)_


	21. Charms

**_Please Review!!!_**

I got off of the Hogwarts Express to be greeted by a smiling James, Mum, and Dad.

I ran to hug them and said, "I've missed you guys, it's been too long!"

Al came out a few minutes later, followed out by a giggling Addie, who went to go over to her mum and dad.

"Hey mum," he said first, hugging her then everyone else.

I looked over at the last part of the train station, where Tyler Moon and Matt were getting off of, Tyler was talking in whispers to a glum Matt, but then, our eyes met. Seconds slowly passed by before I looked away from him. We still had not talked since our yell off in the common room, which was the top conversation of most students until finals came up.

James looked at me one, and then did a second over, kissing my forehead, "You look better than the last time I saw you."

"I would hope so," I told him, with the most happiness I could muster.

"Come on you two, we've got to get you home." Dad announced to the four of us.

James took my trunk and Dad pulled Al's while mum dragged Al along since he was almost asleep already. He had more than likely just stayed up on the train and had a party with his soon to be seventh year friends.

On the long drive home, I could not stop thinking about Matt. No matter how hard I tried to divert my head from him, everything always came back to him.

When we got home, I opened the front door to find Teddy and Victoire yelling "surprise!" at me.

I ran to give them both a hug, crashing into them. "Hi!"

"Happy to see us?" Teddy asked with a grin, with his teal hair turning to a light purple.

"More than just happy, and-" My eyes went straight to a glare that was shining into my eyes, Victoire had a ring on her ring finger… which means… A high pitched squeak came out of my mouth and I went to hug Victoire again, then to Teddy, who had a severe height advantage over me and I playfully hit him on the arm, "It's about time you two got married."

Victoire let out a laugh and said, "We aren't married yet, that's partly the reason why we're here, come on, sit down."

When everyone had gotten settled down in the living room, Teddy stood up and said, "Well, as you all know, Victoire and I are getting married."His smile widened and he looked over towards me, "So, we were talking, and talking, and talking, on who would be bridesmaids and best men and all that stuff."

Teddy's smile grew wider, "So, we were wondering, if it was okay with you, Harry and Ginny, if Lily would come with us next summer, to France where we're getting married, to be Victoire's Maid of Honor."

I jumped off of the couch to make a high pitched screaming noise, looking towards my mum and dad. Dad had a shifty smile on his face, but mum's eyes were wide open, mouth slightly agape, and I could already she the words forming, 'no way in hell.'

"Now, before you go making any irrational decisions Ginny," Teddy said quickly, "I'd like to show you a schedule that Victoire and I are happy to keep Lily on," he had a twenty-five minute presentation of what I'd be doing there for every single day of the summer, when he had finished, Teddy said, "So, what is your verdict?"

Mum looked mad that she had been ambushed and dad looked less pleased at the idea, through gritted teeth my mum answered, "We'll have to think about it."

"Okay, fair enough," Teddy said, "Now can we go eat some cake?"

He had Al at the word "eat," and he was up like a flash to the kitchen. Mum and Dad weren't as quick to get up, I went up to mum and whispered, "so can I?"

She didn't answer my question and said, "Go in the kitchen and grab some cake."

When I entered the kitchen the cake was half gone, Al's fingers were covered with cake, and his face was half full of cake. He only looked up at me once, with his food in his mouth, to ask, food still in his mouth, "what?"

A knock came on the door, James went to go answer it and when I saw who it was, I had to tilt my head a little bit to see who it was. Addie ran to give me a hug, and when she let go she said hi to Al, who had been digging into the cake and almost choked on some of the cake when he saw Addie. Who had gone red in the face from embarrassment, but this was covered up by dad and mum coming into the room and Addie making a loud squeak.

"You're Harry Potter!" Addie ran over to my dad and extended out her hand, for him to shake it.

He made a laugh and said, "You must be Addie, Lily's told us all about you."

Addie moved over to my mom and her eyes widened, "You're Ginny Potter, you played for the Holyhead Harpies and you lead them to the Quidditch Finals each and every time that you were on the team!"

My mum seemed to forget about how she had been ambushed, "And you're Addie Abraham, the girl who I've finally gotten to meet."

"The pleasure is all mine," Addie said, shaking my mom's hand with a slight force.

"Addie is horrible at first impressions," I informed them, "She acted even weirder the second time we met."

"Well, it's expected to be weird when she's your friend." Laughed James, for once, I laughed along with him, and without sarcasm. It felt good to be around the family for once.

"Why aren't you spending this time back with your family?" I asked, a little confused as to why she wasn't home with her family.

"They wanted me to come and ask you if you wanted to sleep over tonight, since you've never been to my house and I've just met your parents for the first time." Addie explained.

"Can I?" I turned over to my mum, who nodded, slightly frowning but I wasn't going to give it a second thought.

"Let's go get your stuff packed so that we aren't waiting at the last minute!" but I felt a force pulling us back. It was James with his wand, "not so fast, Addie, where do you live?"

"Down a couple of blocks," Addie said.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Al actually use a napkin to wipe his mouth, but James distracted me from saying anything. "Well, then this would be the perfect opportunity for Al to get some more practice in," James said, and I knew what he had been talking about, "Mum, Al can drive them, he got his muggle license."

"James, no, I will take Addie and Lily, but Al can come along if he pleases" Mum told him, and turned towards me and said with a slight sigh, "Go on Lily, go up and pack your overnight stuff."

I ran up the stairs, accidentally leaving Addie to have a conversation with my parents but when I came back down, Al was coming up the stairs and he said in a hushed whisper, "How come you never told me that she was coming?" He ran the rest of the way up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut. It wasn't an angry slam; it was just how you had to get that door closed because dad never repaired the door.

Putting my bag on the bottom step and walking back up the steps, I thrashed the bathroom door open, to reveal Al, doing the most unthinkable… brushing his hair.

"Knocking is obviously something that your brain is not capable to comprehend." Al said, wrinkling up his nose.

"What are you using a brush for?" I asked incredulously.

"So that I don't look like a bloody mess, is that so bad?" He fired.

"Your hair is always messy! Why would you-" it was all connecting now, the napkin, the brush, the shyness… but before I could say anything Al yanked me into the bathroom, putting a hand over my mouth.

"Shhhhhhh! Don't let anyone hear you!"

I tried yelling out "You CANNOT like my best friend!" but mum's voice came from the end of the stairs. "Lily, come on, we have to go!"

"Don't you dare say anything, not a word" Al told me, making me nod and he shoved me out of the bathroom.

"Come on Lily," mum said, but I could tell that there was more irritation in her voice than before so I ran down the stairs.

We got into the car and mum got somewhat lost and confused trying to get to Addie's house but we finally found it, mum had a scowl planted onto her face, she hadn't said anything in the car unless it had to deal with directions. Addie muttered as she helped me with my bag, "She was all happy and stuff till I started talking about my mum, I don't know why…"

Addie's front door swung open to a black eyed woman standing in the doorway that must have been her mum, she didn't really look a whole lot like Addie, except for her eye shape and little nitty gritty details like that. The way my mum looked at her made me think about the time that I had first gone into the leaky cauldron and my mum said hi to Hannah, but this was a completely different look that meant that she felt threatened by this woman.

"Hi Ginny!" The woman said delightfully, but mum only tried half heartedly, "Hi Cho."

Her hair was black and put up into a bun, a messy bun at that. She came out of her house and over to the car where she hugged mum, who looked as though she was going to burn Addie's mum's hair off if she lay another finger on her. "It's been too long, hasn't it? That reunion wasn't long enough and it was about the time that you were having this little one here, wasn't it."

I couldn't tell yet why mum hated this woman so much, but I decided to give her a chance, since she was after all, Addie's mom. "Yep." Was all she could say without bursting off of her top, "but I should get going, I left the boys at home and you know what happens when we're not around."

"Oh yes, go ahead, I'll take good care of them." Cho told my mum, who came over to me and kissed my cheek once, and whispered, "If she gives you some strange smelling food, don't eat it, and be a little more rebellious today."

Mum left me with the apparently psycho woman and Addie, who showed me into their house.

It was cozy and not as big as our house, but I liked it the same. Addie showed me up to her room, which had blue wallpaper and several swirls on the walls. Her room was about the same size as mine, but I had a closet, she just had dresser drawers. "It's not much," she told me, "but I can live with it. It doesn't have as many books as you might like, but I have a few."

"I like your room," I told her, "So what did you want me to come over for?"

Addie's smile faded a little and she sighed, "You might want to sit down."

I did and she set herself right next to me on the bed and she took a deep breath, "Are you going to talk to Matt?"

"Why should I? He's the one that doesn't need me for anything," I told her, crossing my arms defiantly.

"Because you need him, I know you do Lily, otherwise you would have torn off that necklace a long time ago…" I looked down at the little charm, forgetting all about it.

We sat in the cold silence for what seemed like hours, "I-I" I closed my mouth and tried to form a sentence in my head, but it wasn't working. Why hadn't it been the first thing that I destroyed? Why had I kept it on for this long if I didn't need him? "I just haven't gotten around to it yet." I told her.

"It's okay if you need him." Addie told me in a quiet voice, "We all need someone to be there for us."

"But I have you and he has her so why can't it be that simple?" I asked her.

"It's because life doesn't just go according to plan… there are always a few bumps in the road." Addie told me glumly. "But you can talk to him about it."

"I'd rather die."

"Lily! He's your best friend."

"Correction, you are, he doesn't need me."

"Oh do you actually believe that bull shit?" Addie asked, getting upset now, "He loves you but he just is too much of a guy to admit it!"

"That's a funny way of showing love." I murmured, deciding that this would go nowhere.

We went back and forth on that topic for about forty minutes till she finally gave up and said that we would argue about it on another day.

I truly believed that he didn't need me; I knew he didn't need me, but later it would be harder to tell what I truly felt, and what others were forcing upon me.

_Hi again... I'm sick... still. I'm angry at my dad and sister... what a surprise.... because they want me to go caroling tomorrow when I really don't want to. My sister doesn't even like caroling and she's complaining how I'm not wanting to go yet she hasn't gone for the past four years.... hypocrite.  
Anyways, on a happier note, I have got good news! I found a starting title for the sequel! The three bad parts, I told one of you a good idea for one but I can't remember who I told, second, I can't remember what it was, and third, this story isn't even finished so I shouldn't be worrying so much about the sequel!!! so could someone leave a review if they were the one that I told? Thank you so much!_

_In the next chapter:  
Letters from Hogwarts  
More Addie and Albus buzz  
And to many of your disappointment, Alex will be paying them a visit._

_Coming Soon:  
The "M" Chapter (Remember, it'll be a while still but I need to put it up here)  
Quidditch  
And the Most Dreaded Chapter that I have ever not wanted to write._


	22. The Monster Goes on Attack

**_Please Review!! It's the Holidays!_**

One early morning in August, I was up at breakfast when the post came, and my Hogwarts letter. I had been waiting for it for most of the summer, not because I wanted to go back to school, but because I wanted to see what new books I would be getting. "Mum! It's here!" I squeaked, running to open the window just in time so that the owl would soar through our kitchen to our table where it placed down all of our letters, I filed through the ones that didn't have my name on it to be left with three in my hands, I ran up to my room and closed the door. My fingers wouldn't move as fast as I wanted them to and I got a paper cut because of it. This one had been from Addie.

_Hey Lily!  
__I just got my letter and you'll be surprised when you open yours, but I'm not going to tell you because I want you to see for yourself! Good luck with it. Oh, by the way, someone has been asking about you lately, wondering if you were dating anyone… but I told him that you weren't. By the way, Tyler Moon got to go on a family vacation to Japan! I don't think he knows any of their language so be ready for sushi on the train! Bye!_

_With much love, _

_Addie Abraham_

_P.S. I didn't make prefect._

I ripped open my other letter to find that it was from, you guessed it, Alex.

_Dear Lily,  
__It's really weird when you think about writing to someone and when you finally get down to writing it all of your thoughts just disappear and you can't remember what you were going to put down? Anyways, meet me on the train in the most back compartment, don't bring anyone with you._

I moaned and said, "Great, I just got over all the bruises so he gives them to me again."

Finally I got to my Hogwarts letter and I tore it open with all my might.

There were three different letters enclosed, one for my books, one for my schedule, and thirdly, one that stated that I was a prefect, my badge included.

I jumped up and down, to run out of my room and down the stairs, only to find Al, staring at his paper with a blank expression. He had gotten his N.E.W.T.S results, his eyes huge and mum reading over his shoulder. "Honey! That's wonderful!" She gave him a great big hug, "Quidditch captain and you passed all of your classes with high marks!!!" She squealed, giving him a big kiss on the cheek and hugging him in a tight embrace.

"Did I head Quidditch Captain?" I heard dad's voice say, but I hid around the corner so that they wouldn't see me. He messed Al's hair up and told him, "Good job, son."

James patted him on the back, but was scolded before he could say anything, "Chew your pancakes, then you can congratulate your brother."

I pocketed my badge and letter and went into the kitchen, "Morning, what's all this about?"

"Your brother made Quidditch Captain and he finished all of his classes with high marks," Dad said gleaming proudly of his son, but I saw a letter underneath Al's chair. I reached down to grab it and gave it to him, "You dropped this."

I went to go help mum with breakfast, she was humming happily. "Hi dear, could you hand me that batter over there?" She asked, pointing to a bowl on the counter, "sure." I told her, I went to go get it for her when Al came into the room and said, "Lily, this letter was for you, it was from a boy or something or oth-" I ripped the envelope out of his hands and tore up the envelope, leaving just the letter in my hands. They trembled as they held the paper because I had seen this handwriting many times before during the long summers in which I so desperately wanted to go back to school.

Then I read:

_Dear Potter,  
__Addie had told me that you made prefect, good for you. I guess we'll have to withstand each other, because I am the other Ravenclaw prefect. See you on the train._

_Matt._

I grumbled to myself and threw the letter in the trash, not wanting to save that miserable letter that he had taken two minutes to scribble down then give to me. If my day could get any worse, I dare it to, no wait, I take that back, crap… too late.

Mum stared at me and asked, "Now what was that all about?"

"Matt's just being stupid," I told her, but I could tell that she wasn't really listening, for the fact that her eyes were staring at the batter, and not my face, and she was still humming happily for Al, who had a stern look on his face.

"I told you to stay away from him, and what happens, you get in a fight with him, and then you go all emo on us…" Mum stopped humming and turned around to face Al, very much annoyed. "You may be Quidditch captain, but that doesn't mean you can hold that over her head, if she were to ever try out for Quidditch for you…" She stopped and looked at me, regret was slapped across her face. I could tell she was sorry but James burst through the doors laughing and pointed at Al, "Another letter came for you, from Hogwarts."

"No doubt you probably already opened it," Al muttered in frustration, then when Al took the paper he stared at it for a good four minutes, open mouthed. Finally he muttered, "Are they bleeding out of their mind?"

I turned the paper more angled towards me and the only words I had to read were "Head Boy" before James started to crack up again, "This must be some sort of a joke" I told him outraged.

"It had the Hogwarts crest on it and everything, but you better keep reading if you think that I'm lying, McGonagall even signed it." He told me, but I didn't want to read the rest of it, how could the most mischief maker in all of Hogwarts get to be HEAD BOY?! Plus, he likes my best friend… which I still haven't completely forgiven him for.

Mum was supposed to be making a big fuss over me! For once! But no, Al has to go and raise the bar much higher, so that I have no way of getting at it. Although being abused and not saying anything about it isn't technically getting me anywhere closer to that high mark.

"Albus, that is wonderful!" My mother ran to hug him; his body was still in shock.

Before I was pulled into this hug I ran up to my room, trying not to knock down anything, but failing when I had "accidentally" broken one of the ugliest lamps in our house.

I slammed my door right before I fell onto my bed, face first onto the pillow and not breathing until absolutely necessary. "I hate my life," tears were being soaked up by my sponge like pillows, "I cannot stand it anymore! I need Matt, I need him, okay? Are you happy now? He's won, I don't care, but I still need him!"

My hand smashed into my headboard, then, I felt a searing pain flow through my hand. I swore loudly at myself and I heard a calm voice say, "That wasn't too smart, now was it."

Alex Harper stood by my door, slowly shutting it, then locking it as his smile widened. "Scared?"

"Hardly," I told him, wiping my eyes and sitting up on my bed, snuggling my legs near my chest.

"Good," his grin grew wider, "because you have nothing to be scared about."

He came closer to me and had me put my legs down, and he kissed me without any force, just a sort of passion and lust that I had never felt before. Without taking his lips off of mine, he told me, "You did a good job on your diet this summer, I can tell, and…" his hand went to my back and my bra strap made a "snap" but it was still connected. "You've had an amazing summer; I bet Perks will kick his own ass when he sees you again."

I swallowed hard; my air was slowly becoming limited. "I wouldn't know, I don't care about him, he means nothing to me."

Alex stopped kissing me, and took his head back a little bit. "What?"

"I don't want to talk about Matthew Perks right now, okay? All I want to do, is kiss you, okay?" I asked, my fingers coming to his head, and pulling him in closer to me, all that separated us was our clothes. Our lips connected and I tried to get Matt out of my head. This was the story of my life, I kissed other guys while thinking about who I truly loved. The pain in my heart surged even more, but when it started to become more intense, the monster within me starting tearing up my heart. I felt like crying, I wanted nothing more than to go sit in a corner and cry.

Alex's hands went to my back and he pulled me closer into him. The kiss just slowly and gradually had me on my back and Alex was just all over my mouth.

A sharp few knocks on the door made Alex jump up off of his feet, the little monster within me made my torn up heart beat like it never had before. I pointed to the window and mouth, "Out!" He didn't take a second beat and climbed out the window as I fixed up my hair, and wiping off my mouth.

Tears were in my eyes, but I opened the door after two seconds of him falling out the window. "What?!" I croaked out, opening the door to a very tall black haired man that would be my father.

He invited himself into my room and had me sit on the bed, "Lily, what's all this talk about you and this Matthew…"

"I really don't want to get in an argument dad; I honestly don't want to fight." I told him, putting my head in my hands and placing my elbows onto my knees.

"I wasn't going to say that, Lily," he told me, scooting closer and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, "I was going to ask you why you and this Matthew kid were fighting, I mean, it's obviously upsetting you."

I didn't lift up my head, but I could tell that he was genuinely concerned about how I was acting, finally he got it. "He just… it all was from…" Telling the truth… well what really was the truth? "I don't know how it all started, but it just went into a complete mess and he's been acting like a jerk."

I felt the slight movement from my dad's head shaking sadly, "Lily, there have been worse tragedies in the world that Matthew Perks being a jerk." My dad's words were not comforting, but it was at least a good try. "That isn't helping me, whatsoever." I told him.

He adjusted and said, "Lily, do you really like this boy?"

"Dad, more than you could ever know," I had finally looked up to my dad, who was to my right. He wiped away the stray tears that had fallen from my face and told me, "Well, then you just have to find some way to get him back, I know you can Lily, you're a beautiful girl, and you cannot deny this. The sorting hat put you in Ravenclaw for a reason." My dad had never talked to me about this sore topic out loud; and the occasional asking about how my housemates were treating me did not count.

"Yeah, a brain, that's it, all I've got is a bunch of brains and not a whole lot of useful talent…" I muttered, but my dad was quick to deny this.

"Lily, you need to take a deep look at yourself in the mirror, I mean look at you Lily, you're pretty, you're smart, you can out sing any of your family even if you won't admit it, and you have got the most amazing smile, whenever it likes to come out that is." My dad lifted up my chin with his two fingers. "Lily, I'm glad that you are my daughter, and I love you."

"I love you too dad," I couldn't help but wonder why it was so easy to say it to him now, but it had been so hard before. Now, it would just roll off of my tongue. He kissed my forehead and told me, "Never stop believing in yourself Lily, I have high hopes for you and your future, no star is out of reach if you try hard enough to catch it."

He left me to think about what he had said, and the words were ringing in my ears while my head tried to process all that had been this morning.

With all of this new knowledge, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shut, and did exactly what my dad said to do, take a good look in the mirror.

Who was this standing in front of me, I didn't recognize this person. She looked warn out beyond belief, her bruises still fresh on her covered body and she looked more troubled than any other teen should have to. Her eyes shown that she had gotten no sleep for the past few nights and by the look of her slouching that she was doing, she was not in a good mood. Sure, she had boobs, but that was not the point. Her soul was tainted, there was nothing to fix it, but there was a way to prevent further damage. Then, I stared at my figure in horror, I lifted up my shirt to my chest and I hardly had any fat on me, the bump that I had before, was completely gone, and I could see most of my bones in my ribcage.

I threw my t-shirt down and I went over to the toilet to throw up, I was just that disgusted with how I looked, my figure was not one that _I_ wanted, my emotions were taking over, and I want to change all of that, my fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would not be one that I would soon forget.

_I didn't get to post this last night for the simple fact that I was having Christmas with my dad. Now, that I am back at my mom's I can post it, and I am much more happier with this chapter than the previous chapters and I think that the end shows my better work. It is much better than what I had it as before.  
Happy Holidays everbody, like we say in school, but most teachers just put up Christmas stuff.  
Did anyone else notice that....  
when Addie said "P.S. I didn't make prefect" that Lily had to be prefect, and Addie new that. :),  
Alex didn't be mean,  
(And to all the people who were hating on me that Harry wasn't "very nice" to Lily) Harry cared,  
and the Climax is nearing. (ha, I was actually listening in Language! Which isn't my best subject, surprisingly, it is actually choir.)_

_The next chapter: (This is just an estimate, but I only have about half of the chapter figured out...)  
Lily the Prefect  
Al using his Head Boy powers  
and  
Matt (and maybe having a short conversation with Lily)_

_Coming Later:  
The "M" Chapter  
Quidditch  
and  
My most dreaded Chapter to ever write. (Even more than in the story "Sweet Sorrows")_

_P.S. I still have yet to remember the name that I had for the sequel, so if you guys have any suggestions for a sequel title, please tell me in a review or pm, I cannot tell you anything about it though, so that would be the hardest part. And right now, I am denying the title "Without Red Hair and Freckles 2" for the fact that it won't fit in the character title in deviant art and 2, it just sucks._

_P.P.S. I got the book and cd of Wicked!!!! I am so excited!!! :) I've been singing along all morning! My favorite song would have to be "what is this feeling?" sung by Elphaba and G(a)linda along with the Chorus! Sorry for the non-musical people that are reading this, I'll shut up about it right now! I'm sorry that I put so much in these Author Notes, but if I didn't then you wouldn't know what is coming up in the next few chapters. :)_

_P.P.S.S. I swear, this is the last time, but what did you think about the title before you read it? The chapter title, or the actual title, or both. Sorry, I ask questions and then I want answers, I know, annoying, very much so, to you at least._


	23. Platform Nine and Three Quarters

_**Please Review!**_

My dad pulled my cart and my mom dragged me through King's Cross on that dreadful, dreary day. "But do I have to go, I mean, why can't I be homeschooled?" I asked, pleading my last case.

"Lily, I don't know why your attitude towards school changed all of the sudden but you are going, end of question." My mother told me, Al on the other hand, was glad to go, but only the two of us knew the real reason why he wasn't dreading the whole year ahead.

"But mum, what if werewolves come to the school, or the chamber of secrets gets reopened, or- or- or-" I was running out of excuses and my mother dragged me along, making me lose most of my dignity.

"You know better, now come on, pick up your act and let's get going, you'll be early for the train, so that you won't have to fight to sit next to someone who isn't a complete idiot." My mother gave me a push through the barrier and I was staring at a red train that was as long as I could see.

Mum was right after me and she straightened herself up before going over to Addie and her mother. "Hello Ginny," Addie's mum told her, but she just cringed, then she saw something come up behind us, "Oh, hello Harry." My dad came up behind me, and put his hand around mum's waist.

"Hi Cho." He said flatly, not even trying to change how he really felt.

"You know each other?" I turned around to face dad, who let out a huge sigh, I went with my cart but before I could fully leave, I heard Addie's mum say, "You must be very proud of your daughter, becoming a prefect and all."

I rushed off onto the train before I could see their surprised reactions that I had not told them, I went and found a compartment for Addie and I, then I put on my shiny blue badge that had a huge "P" on it and a raven behind it.

Addie came into the compartment and she was slightly out of breath. "I'm sorry about my mum, she doesn't know when to really shut her big mouth."

"How did my parents take it?" I asked her, fearing the worst.

"I don't really know, I hauled ass out there so that my mom wouldn't bring me into this." She told me honestly, and stared at my badge, "Wow, I mean… wow."

"What?"

"You got boobs!" She stated plainly, staring blankly at my chest, but I turned away.

"Thank you," I told her sarcastically, "for that."

"I'm just pointing it out," She told me, "Did you jump like two sizes cause you look like a C 38."

I whipped around to her and said, "For your information, I would rather we not talk about my boobs, and they are not C 38 it's a C 36."

All I heard was laughter fill the compartment when I shut the door, it all went away. I saw a shadow walking down the hall and he mumbled to me, "come on, let's go." Taking me by the wrist, I didn't resist and went down the hall with them. His hand wrapped around my wrist, not saying a word to me.

He lead me into an empty compartment and he told me, "look, this is how we're going to do this, you are going to shut up and let me do all the talking, and Flitwick will never have to know what's wrong." Matt's eyes had turned to a dark black over the summer and his expression seemed more disturbed than it had been before.

"One problem Einstein, I need to talk to Flitwick because if I don't talk, then he'll know that something is wrong," I told him, he just stood there and had to think for a few seconds. "Well what are we going to do?"

"Well, I guess you need me to either keep quiet or you need me to say somethings to Flitwick, either way you need me." A smirk was planted onto my face, and a scowl shown on his.

"I didn't believe the tale that said 'you start to act like the person your kissing' till just a few seconds ago." Matt eyed me, just looking at my chest for two seconds before scolding himself.

"Who've you been kissing, a dementor?" I snapped back.

"Still with Harper?"

"Still with that whore?"

Our faces were inches apart from all of our arguing, my anger matched his and we both breathed heavily. His hot breath was on my face. Our eyes met and his expression softened ever so slightly.

"No, actually, I'm not with anyone." His body closed the gap between us and his hands found mine. The monster within me purred like a little kitten and my hands were no longer cold.

His fingers played with mine and his eyes stared only into my eyes, then, his lips connected with mine. The thing that had been missing from me was back, my hands let go of his and my right leg wrapped around his left while my hands went straight to his dirty blonde hair that had been messed up by me so many times before. One of his hands went to my back and the other went to my hair. The kiss intensified ever so slightly and my appetite for him grew to an obsession of needing to kiss him.

Within an instant, I was thrown back from Matt and my head hit the wall with a loud thud. When I looked towards the door, I made a shudder; he was standing in the doorway with his wand out and his face was pure red with fury…

_I spent the day with my Jelly, so I'm all good :) But, I needed to get this chapter out for you guys otherwise I would feel bad and I'm already feeling bad because of how the chapter ended (stupid suspense button) and the shortness. But the chapter I felt was funny and satisfying to all you Matt/Lily people besides the ending, I think so far my favorite quote from this chapter would have to be "Still with that whore?" but it's a little naughty on my part. I'll get coal next year. But none for me this year. Anyways, I'm going up north for the weekend and tonight I'm at my dad's, hence the reason for feeling bad. No internet up north where I'm going._

_Next Chapter:  
You will find out who the mysterious "he" is (by the way, I was going to have his name in there... but then I changed it... yep, definately getting coal next year)  
Feast  
and I dunno what else, that'll come to me later._

Coming SOONER THAN YOU THINK!:  
The "M" chapter, (by the way, who else has been noticing that there have been increasingly more "not appropriate for younger children" chapters, and how many times have you thought that a chapter was going to be the "m" chapter but it turned out to be just a dirty chapter? lol.)  
Quidditch (soon after the "m" chapter and there will be warnings of Quidditch, yet none of you seem interested to read it but believe me, it will be interesting...)  
and  
"The most dreaded chapter that I have ever had to write" (No, I have not even started really planning that scene but the perspective will change for about half of the chapter so it's not just Lily, it will be another person's point of view for a little bit of the story, does that make you excited? or not?)

Sorry for the suspense button.... not really. Damn, my stocking will be filled with coal.


	24. Twenty reasons to tell the truth

**_Please Review!!!!_**

His face stared at mine, ignoring Matt, before I could breathe, he flicked his wand towards Matt, making him fall to the floor with a hard bang. I screamed out for Matt, but the man's wand was placed onto my neck. At the same time, he somehow got the compartment door to slam and lock itself.

My hand went to my head, to my horror my head was bleeding, but to the man who stood with his wand pointed at me, he did not care. "What the hell are you doing?"

I didn't respond and when I hadn't, he picked me up by my shirt and started to scream in my face. I could feel the tears form in my eyes, but they didn't dare fall.

"Being a baby? Is the little itty bitty Lily going to cry? Well your brothers aren't here to protect you right now, are they? Nowhere in sight." Alex snarled, letting me drop to the floor of the compartment and he kicked me hard right in the stomach.

I looked to my right to see Matt, his motionless body lying pathetically on the floor space next to me. I scrambled to him, my hand finding his, and my other hand trying to find a pulse, but I couldn't feel anything, but it was also possible that I was shaking too much to feel it.

"What did you do to him?" I shrieked, letting the tears fall, they would have come anyways.

"He's the only one you care about, right?" Alex snarled, "You pathetic little scum," another blow came to my body only he had hit my left leg. This time I could not contain my screams, the high pitch noises did not even make Matt move, "You are a waste of a witch," Alex taunted, with his voice echoing through my ears.

Alex crept down to me and murmured with the most deranged voice that I have ever heard in my life, "Say that you're nothing, say it."

"I'm nothing, I'm only good for my looks, and I need to die." I had memorized this sentence, almost believing it to be true sometimes.

A grin was planted onto Alex's face, "Right you are."

Matt still hadn't moved, not even a breath. Alex continued on with this for another hour or so and the bruises were more than skin deep. When the compartment door closed with a "snap," Matt's eyes burst open. He slowly got up from the floor and looked around, but he didn't have to look hard before he heard my sobs from in the corner. We would be to Hogwarts in any minute, my clothes and hands and even my shoes were drenched in my blood.

Matt's eyes widened, but his reaction was the one that I had expected, he would be shocked, then he'd care, then, after that was all said and done, he would go on and on and on about how I should have told an adult, I knew that this had gotten out of hand, but… my thought was interrupted by Matt's sudden exit from the compartment.

I prayed to god that he did not go to get a teacher, because then I would have to explain my crying of something that I didn't know about. A minute later, I heard the loud scream coming from Addie, she came to me and started asking hundreds of questions, but I just sobbed into my hands, as the blood poured out of my nose. Addie turned a dull green color, about the color of the ugly lamp that I broke, and she had to sit down, the only words I could hear from her over my crying were, "We need to get her to the hospital wing, now." Sure enough, the train was slowing down in speed

Without a second thought, Addie and Matt tried to help me out but I screamed out in pain, my leg could not move without it hurting the equivalent of being shot in the leg each and every time that a muscle moved. Addie made a face and told Matt in a hurried voice, "you have to carry her, I can't carry her, but I'll move people out of your way," "fine, as long as she's safe." Matt told Addie, and she nodded.

Matt picked me up with what looked like ease and I just kept on wailing, everything on my body hurt, my head, liver, kidneys, feet, legs, elbows, funny bone, everything. "Okay, let's go," Addie told Matt in her military voice.

They quickly went out of the compartment to find a packed hallway, the train had just stopped, and the doors were about to open. Addie shouted, "Get the hell out of my way," "coming through," and "move out of my way or I'll slap that grin right off of your face." Matt didn't apologize to them as he walked fast behind Addie, his eyes were only for me, horror stricken.

"Come on Matt, pick up the pace," Addie yelled back to him, a few first years had gotten in his way again, but he barked at them, "Out of the way," his shining prefect badge helped with his added authority.

Then, a familiar face showed up in front of me, Tyler Moon and Al were having a conversation before they looked over at me. Al caught my presence and pushed through several first years to get over to where Matt and I were. "What the hell happened?"

"Not now Al," I sobbed.

"Yes now, Lily, who did this to you?" he asked, walking fast to keep up with Matt.

"I-I dunno who," I stammered.

Al didn't believe me and said more sternly, "Lily, whoever did this to you is going to pay, they'll get their ass kicked, or they'll get expelled, just tell me who it was Lily."

"Just stop Al," Matt told him, "obviously she doesn't remember."

Al gritted his teeth hard and moved out of Matt's way but he followed Addie and Matt, not satisfied with his answer just yet. "Out of my way," Matt snarled to a third year that had accidentally gotten into his way.

We finally reached a door, Addie, Matt, and Albus were all running, Addie in the lead. "Where are we going? The castle is that way" Matt yelled up to Addie but she ignored him and kept on running. She took us to an abandoned area of the station and had us go through a hole that was dark and I could have sworn that there was something crawling on me. Apparently Al could feel it too and he made a little scream. I felt a rush beside me and his big, broad, god damn shoulder hit my head, I let out a scream and Matt's voice came up, "Lily, what is it?"

"Something hit my head," I spoke quietly, "hard."

I couldn't move my arms, they hurt too badly, I could only hear footsteps in front of me, "Could one of you use Lumos, or something? Because I'm going to tip over and then we'll all be in deep shit because Mr. and Mrs. Potter will come after me in the middle of the night if I hurt their daughter."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that spell." Addie said, then a flick of light came from her wand, "Better?"

"Much," Matt said, but I looked at Addie's left hand, it was being held onto for dear life by my brother, this was the only thing that had my attention till I saw some more light coming from out of the tunnel. Addie had Matt and Albus running till we reached the end of the tunnel, which was at the edge of Hogwarts grounds.

"Finally," Albus breathed, quickly taking his hand away from Addie's, "Hogwarts."

Addie, Al, and Matt rushed up the hill, and into the castle. Up several flights of stairs we finally reached the hospital wing, my tears hadn't stopped and the blood had dripped all over Matt. Albus burst the doors open, but Addie ran back down the stairs.

Madam Pomfrey let out a loud shriek when she saw me, she eyed me, and then she eyed Matt, who was basically covered with blood. I felt dizzy from having lost so much blood and Matt's eyes widened at my very pale complexion.

She had Matt place me down on a bed and made him and Al leave.

Two hours later, we had found out that I had: Two broken arms, my legs had broken in five different places, my skull had cracked, my nose was broken, my toes had broken, and I had severe damage on my abdomen.

Madam Pomfrey told me in a weary tone, "Whoever did this to you, is no friend of yours, and I hope that they get caught soon."

I just lie there, not moving a muscle, for the fear that it would hurt, but Madam Pomfrey said that she had fixed everything. I had a hard time trying to believe that, because my heart was still quite broken.

She warned me that everything would be sore for the next few days or so, but I knew that meant I'd have to get on muggle pain medication, which mum absolutely protested that I be put on any kind of muggle drug, prescription or not.

Loneliness had never crept onto my body so fast, that it was almost like a shudder. There was a quiet knock on the door, but when they didn't get an answer, she burst into the room, tears flowing down her cheeks. She ran to my bed and gave a loud shudder; I tried calming her down before giving her the "bad" news.

"Uh, well, if it helps, it doesn't hurt that much." She made a prominent scowl that looked as though she would not be happy again but her eyes still had tears dripping down onto her cheeks.

"Lily…" she fell into a chair next to me, her eyes not wavering from my scared face. "How come Matthew was drenched in your blood?"

"Mum, you don't think it was…"

"Well honey, he was the first one to find you, and he was dripping in your blood…" My mum's tears had slowed down a bit but she just shook her head, "Your father and I have been talking, and we think that it isn't right for you to be around this boy."

I opened my mouth to speak but my mom just put her finger to my lips, "Shhh, I know that you like him and all, but honey, we have to have this stop."

Mum's trembling hand took mine and I could tell that she couldn't be strong for the both of us anymore. The bags under her eyes and the tears that had fallen from her cheeks, "Mum, I know who is doing this," I told her quickly, "but it isn't Matt."

My mom raised her head and her mouth went slightly agape, "What?"

"Matt isn't the one who's been beating me up, it's been…" The door opened quickly to Hagrid, who had never really been a favorite teacher of mine… because he always fawned over Al and James.

"Ginny, I saw it happen!" Hagrid went on about how Matt had apparently been beating me and how he had seen him but he had not been quick enough to catch Matt in the act so that's why he had picked me up and ran.

"That's a lie!" I yelled, making Hagrid jump and my mother stare at me.

"Lily that is no way to talk in front of a teacher…" my mother snapped.

"Potter normally talks up in my class, when she took it that is." Ever since I had opted to not take Care of Magical Creatures, Hagrid had always called me "Potter." This happened even when I was still in his class. "Couldn't fit me into her abnormally large schedule last year, but she took every other class."

"If you would have seen my schedule, then you would have understood the crunch in my schedule," I retorted, "And I'm not like Al and beg to have all Auror classes plus your class in study time,"

"Lillian, you stop that right now." My mother said, "but to be all fair Hagrid, I didn't take your class in my fourth year either, or fifth."

"But you at least came for tea, Potter…" Madam Pomfrey came bustling out of her office and by my bed, "Professor, you need to leave, you are upsetting my patient."

Hagrid grumbled out of the door and my mum turned towards me, "that was odd… it didn't seem like him to act like that." Her eyebrow rose.

"But mum, you have to listen to me, it wasn't Matt who's been hitting me, it's been this guy named…" My words toppled over the other and it felt as though my tongue was going to tie itself.

"Lily, does this mean… that you remember these attacks?" My mother shuddered when I just simply nodded my head. Her trembling hand let go of mine and she did what dad did when he didn't want to show his true emotions. She placed her elbows on her knees, while her hands held her head which hung low. Her hands were in her own hair, about ready to pull it out, from frustration.

She did not even try to hide her sobs; they were like a sweep of emotion that had taken over her. For the first time in my whole life, this was the first time that my mother had lost all of her composure. She had always been so strong for us kids, never asking for anything in return, or ever complaining to us about our worries and woes. Mum had even been strong for dad, whenever he had to work late, she would stay up for him, even if it meant staying up for two or three days straight.

I had always known my mother for her strength, how she was the rock in the family, even if dad wanted to be, she had always been the one that had all of it together… whatever "it" was.

The way she had broken down to tears made me realize, that I had been selfish by not telling anyone, because I was hurting the ones that I love most in the process.

_Who wants to talk about how amazing fudge is? I mean I couldn't have it till I was ten because I had a severe allergy to Peanuts and anything that had to do with Milk, so I would like to distract your mind from the horrible stuff that you just read._

_This will come in parts because in all honesty, there is so much that you guys can ask/discuss with me about this!:  
1. I cannot do a Hagrid accent, I'm sorry, that's why in all of my stories, Fleur and Gabrielle have been taught how to speak fluent English and it's well. I can barely do any accents and it's a challenge for me, I can do them in real life but not on paper and Hagrid's is hard to get right.  
2. You think, "self, there is just too much in this chapter for me to fully consume in one sitting" and then I am thinking in my head "You have seen nothing yet, so get ready for a whirlwind."  
3. This chapter had no comedy in it... and it makes me sad. :(  
4. I didn't know how many people actually knew and liked Wicked! I just found out about it this year, man, I feel out of date with my musicals.  
5. I want fudge now... and it makes me think of "Looking for Alaska" because it's pudge and fudge. *sigh*_

_Coming Next Chapter:  
I have no idea... I haven't really planned it out._

_Coming Soon but not the next Chapter:  
The "M" Chapter (an estimated... three chapters till its here. I think.)  
Quidditch (which oddly enough, none of you care about, and neither does Lily but you all will when it comes.)  
And  
The most dreaded chapter that I will ever have to write but I have not yet even really thought about how I am going to do it...._


	25. Advice taken

**_Please Review, it helps me out a lot!_**

Mum refused to have me tell her who it was, because in her heart she knew, that she would not be able to go home that night and get any sleep unless he was punished severely. She left the hospital wing with tears flowing from her eyes and a gut wrenching pain left in my stomach.

The next morning, I woke up to Al, who held a Daily Prophet in his shaking hand. "You made the front page," he mumbled, throwing the paper onto my tray that I wished to be filled with food, "I made it too if it makes you feel any better…"

"Sadly enough, it doesn't help." I winced every time I would move my arm an inch, so instead, Al held the paper up for me to read.

"Trouble on the Hogwarts Train," I read aloud, I knew that Al had already read it but I could always take words in better when I read aloud.

"_Yesterday, when the Hogwarts Express arrived to its destination, there was anything but the ordinary. Lillian Luna Potter had to be carried off of the train, dripping in what looked to be her own blood. As you can plainly see, down below, Lillian is being carried by a boy with the name of Matthew Perks; he is already drenched with her blood as well, so we have suspicions about this young boy of fifteen. You see the blonde girl in front; she is allegedly, Lillian's best friend who goes by, Addie Abraham. Lily's brother Albus is trailing behind them as you can see; they don't run to a teacher, but to an unknown area of the station where we lose sight of them one by one. It is believed that Matthew Perks was the cause of all the injuries that Miss Potter now has covering her body. As you might have remembered from a while back, Lillian and Matthew both had a fight in their common room. Neville Longbottom had to say this, 'I don't think that it is Mr. Perks, he has always been a good student of mine and I wouldn't think anything else about him.' While on the other hand, students have been stirring about this topic, wondering if the rumors were true. No word has been said about Lillian's physical or mental help at this point, the hospital ward has been closed to just sick patients and their families. This is what Connie Evanston, of Slytherin had to say about it, 'Well, Rita, I think that this is all bogus and we need to either find out who has been doing this, or transfer her to another school, I for one am sick of all of this nonsense.' The students involved would not make any comment and the headmistress of Hogwarts says that she is doing all she can to help Hogwarts be a safe environment for everyone. We will notify you of any other mishaps at Hogwarts in our coming issues._"

I felt the pain medication start to kick in a little bit and I slowly grabbed the paper and ripped it up into several little pieces. Madame Pomfrey gives me a glare as she walks by, but she stopped when Albus gave her a guilty look.

"Out," she told him, "She can't move much, and she can't get upset, now out!" Madame Pomfrey chased Al out of the hospital wing and went into the hospital wing office, where she shut the door completely.

Two o clock rolled around and Madame Pomfrey still had not come out of her office, until a girl who had a bleeding nose, she had a pale green face, and she was holding onto her stomach like it ached.

She was rushed over to a bed, and Madame Pomfrey looked at her. Another boy walked in, although I knew him, Tyler Moon came into the hospital wing with a dark black and blue eye, he was told to sit down on a near bed.

Matthew quietly slipped through the door about two minutes after Tyler had come in. He pulled a chair up next to my bed and stared. After a few minutes he murmured, "I see you've read the article." He motioned to the shredded up paper in the trash bin next to me. "Those people will say anything just to get some dirt, filthy fiends I say. But I bet no one will believe a word that comes out of their mouths."

"Well… actually, that isn't true." I said, as if I didn't want a grasshopper to even hear me, "My mum believes it… she told me last night that she did."

"And didn't you set her straight?" He questioned, running ten fingers through his hair, "She doesn't still think that I hurt you, does she?"

"I tried to tell her," I could feel the tears coming into my eyes, while Matt's whole body went tense, "I really did, but she wouldn't hear it."

"So you let your mother think that I'm the one that's been hurting you?" His teeth gritted together and his hands went together.

"I tried to tell her, I really did," I told him, not able to look at his livid expression.

He let out a huge breath and he muttered my name, over and over and over again. I blinked away the tears but they wanted to burst.

"How could you let it get to this?" He asked me, "How could you still not have told anyone about that prat yet?"

I didn't answer him, but I accidentally let down one tear. He shot another question at me, "Why don't you tell someone, so that we can be together? We've wasted so much time, dealing with this shit that should not be our problem."

Another two tears fell down my face, "Well? Are you going to answer me or just lay there and do nothing, like what he's told you repeatedly that it's all that you're good for."

Four tears, and the monster within me starts to bawl, but my outsides are screaming to not break down. "You need to do something about this jerk but you're just going to lay here and this will become what you do, it will be where you die Lily, he will kill you if you don't do what he asks of you."

My hands went to my face and I couldn't hold it in any longer, Matt knew exactly how to break me, which buttons to push. Somehow, I knew that he was not sorry for making me realize the cold hard facts that were my life.

I tried to compose myself, but it didn't work out as I had planned, I coughed out, "My mom and dad don't want us together... not even as friends."

"You told her that we weren't going to stand for that, didn't you?" the anger had not left his voice, when I didn't respond, his voice went cold, "You agree with her?"

"I don't agree with her," My arms slammed by my sides, "I don't have any other choice, you didn't see how my mom was, you don't know what it was like."

"Maybe if you would explain things to me once and a while, I would understand," He snapped at me.

"Don't do this to me right now Matt, please" I put my hand over my eyes but he just had snapped.

"Fine, since I cause you so much pain and hurt, I'll leave. This time you can't just reel me back in by kissing. I told you that I don't need you, and this just proves it, you're the one that needs me, but I definitely don't need you." He pushed his chair out of his way and it toppled over backwards.

Without even thinking about my aching muscles, I got up out of bed, and I tried running after him, running out the door, just hearing Madame Pomfrey yelling at me as I run out the door. I called out Matt's name, but he doesn't come back. Then, my regular self kicked in, and I fell, flat on my face. Hitting my nose again, and I heard a crack, shit, shit, shit, shit, and another big, shit. As if Madame Pomfrey wasn't mad at me enough already, this had to happen.

I heard a rush of footsteps and someone's concerned voice ask, "Lily? What are you doing out of the hospital wing?"

"Go away, I can get up myself," I mumbled, getting on all fours, and not successfully getting up on the third try. My muscles were screaming at me for running, and my bones had not fully healed quite yet, and I hadn't figured that one out till about three seconds ago.

"Lily, you obviously need help, do you need me to go get Madame Pomfrey?"

"I don't need any help from you," I said dully, staring at the floor as if I would never get up from it again.

"It looks like you do."

"Well I don't."

"You need me to help you."

"I'm not dependant, I can take care of myself without anyone helping, especially Matthew Perks," I told her, but she just crouched down to my level extending a hand out to me, "Is that why you're all the way over here?"

"No," I lied sourly.

"Liar," she told me, "Just take my hand and we'll walk back to the hospital wing together and you can tell me what happened on the way."

I took Mary's hand and she helped me up. I told her what had happened and all she had to say before we entered the hospital wing was, "He doesn't believe it himself, give him space, give him time, and he'll come back."

When I got into the hospital wing, I got yelled at and I was forced to eat. It didn't stay down for long, because I threw it back up again. Madame Pomfrey was also furious that I had broken my nose… again. Twice in less than twenty four hours.

I was barely paying attention to her, but my focus was on the words that Mary had said, Matt needed time… but how long would it take? A week, a month, a year, his whole life? I didn't know, but I did know this, Matthew Perks was seriously angry… and I had turned him into a monster.

_I just want to know, how many of you thought that "the girl" at the end was Addie at first?  
Anyways, hi, it's four in the morning where I live and I was not going to go to bed till I finished this chapter. Uh, now I can relax and just think about going to Marley and Me tomorrow with my best friend. :)  
Happy Late New Year! My new years was amazing, but I want to hear how yours went! Tell me about it! I talk about me way too much, so I wanna get to know you guys._

_The next chapter:  
It'll be a time jump, I know that because I cannot take this time gap, and everything and I keep on having to repatch my holes that I made, like in this chapter I had to make something change._

_Coming Soon!!!!:  
The "M" Chapter will be here in an estimated... three or so chapters. I'm leaning towards three, and I mean it this time!  
Quidditch  
and  
The chapter that I am dreading most!_

_A hint to my readers: (Your two hints that you are getting because this one didn't really have a suspense edge to it, but now it does, and some of you will actually have to reread chapter nine and even fewer of you will read it over and over and over again till you have some clue, but don't try too hard. It might make your brains explode.)  
Chapter Nine has some very important clues in the upcoming events and... nightmares have never seemed so real..._


	26. Winky Returns

**_Reviewing makes me do my happy dance :)_**

The months dragged on as winter came and was gone. The snow had turned in slop and the students had all arrived back at Hogwarts without any troubles. It was now May and my O.W.L's were quickly approaching. I had only talked to Matt once since our encounter the day after we had arrived at Hogwarts. It was brief and very awkward, I talked about how I loved the view from the Astronomy Tower then he went off to go and snog some random girl that he could latch onto just to make me jealous. I studied often in the common room, on this very day; Addie joined me instead of eating down in the great hall like everyone else.

Addie threw down her book and parchment and stated, "They are ridiculous, how on earth am I suppose to remember all of this rubbish, within the next two weeks?"

"Well, actually, the tests are in a week, they end in two weeks." I told her, and her growl came at me, "Like I needed the reminder, I haven't slept in weeks, so give me a break."

An exaggeration made by Addie was a common sight when she was under a lot of stress. "I know the feeling," I mumbled, focusing on how the Animagi would normally take their form, but Addie closed my book and told me, "You've been studying these books in and out and you won't give yourself a break, besides doing homework, you're skinnier than when Alex had you on that insane diet. Let's go eat." As she said this, two giggling people came into the room, Matt and another girl that he had somehow gotten to be his pretend girlfriend who would snog him senselessly in front of me and would giggle around me.

I reopened my book as I ignored their constant giggling, but Addie made a hard coughing noise. The giggling stopped and I could feel Matt's eyes on Addie, "what?"

"Some of us would like to not puke at the sight of you, so would you just keep the cutesiness away from me?" Addie told him, and he just made a snort, and I could hear his face sucking the other girl's and I snapped my book closed.

Not even this sound stirred him from this new girl, I packed up all of my books that lay across the coffee table and I stood up. When I passed the two, "love birds," I whispered into his ear, "you look like a couple of walruses fighting for the other one's tongue, I bet you love to picture that. You try too hard to find the easiest girls in Hogwarts."

I hit his shoulder before going up the girls dormitories, where my palms were sweating and I wasn't breathing right. Addie closed the door behind me, and said, "That was amazing, you should have seen that girl's face!"

"I-I don't… feel so…" I felt like toppling over, but instead I fell onto my bed.

"Lily? Are you okay?" Addie asked me, looking concerned, "Do I need to get Madame Pomfrey?"

"No, I'll be fine; I think I just need… sleep." I murmured, turning to my pillow and still having this hot sensation roam through my body.

I didn't hear a word that Addie had said, but I found out that my body was over exhausted and demanded sleep right then.

When I woke up, a little tipsy house elf stood by my bedside, "Madame Pomfrey sent me here, to make sure you ate properly, and she said that you must stay in bed for two days without any stress, that is why I am here, to make sure that you don't leave your bed." The little elf told me.

"Uhhmmm, who are you?" I asked.

"Winky the house elf," she squeaked, about ready to tip over, "what would you like for Breakfast?"

"Breakfast?"

"Yes, it is morning; we have breakfast in the morning."

"Uhhmmm, I don't know, whatever you have down in the kitchens will be fine."

With a loud crack, the house elf was gone, and I lay in bed, wondering what the heck was going on. Addie came into the room and said cheerfully, "hey," I looked at her with a look of confusion, "you finally woke up after your slight coma."

"What? I was in a coma?" I asked, almost getting up but there was a loud crack that sounded through the room, "No getting up Miss Potter, I was given strict rules that you will follow." She set a tray on my lap and told me, "you can only sit up for meals, and that is it, and you are not allowed to do homework, too much stress."

"But my owls are coming up!" I exasperated, "I need all the study time now! I need to recover Astronomy!"

"You can do that, another day," The house elf squeaked, and sat in a little chair, watching me and she barked, "eat up, you look starved to death."

Eating had always been my lowest priority, but now it had become my top priority in just the flash of a second. I looked up at Addie and she told me, "You weren't in a coma, you just slept for a long time, but it felt like you were in one though."

I bit the edge of my toast to make the little house elf happy but I certainly wasn't.

Winky the house elf stayed with me all night, and she would constantly check my temperature, several times it was high so she shoved muggle remedies down my throat.

Addie came to visit me at around two, when she had a break from classes "Hey, how are you holding up?"

"I'm going insane if I can't study, I need my books, but she hid them somewhere in the room while I was sleeping." I told Addie with my most irritated tone.

"It was for your own good." Winky was knitting in her little chair, watching my every move.

"Maybe, this is a way of your body saying that you should slow down Lily." She turned serious, "Maybe it's a good thing that you are put on bed rest. And you don't seem very relaxed for being on bed rest."

"How am I supposed to relax when owl exams are less than a week away and I am far from my books?" I asked, tossing in bed.

"No moving." Winky reminded me.

I stopped and let out a big groan. This was my living hell, how could things possibly get worse?! But little did Lily know, things would get much, much worse.

_Who else didn't see Winky coming?! :) I love her.  
Anyways, you will not hear a lot from me for a while, because the next two chapters, I am not leaving authors notes, for reasons of, I don't want you forget anything about the chapter and I want you to rant so hard into those reviews that you are about ready to throw your computer into something or someone. Again, I am posting at 4:09 in the morning, which is, a ghastly hour because I am waking up in about.... 98 minutes to go do something, I can't remember what though... crap.  
Anyways, to those of you who reread chapter nine, are you confused as hell? Good, because that's the way I want it to be :) One person was actually going to reread the whole story, so I bet they are still at it, because not even I can reread my story all in one day, it would kill me.  
This chapter, I know about the huge timegap, but you all wanted the "M" chapter so badly I had to do drastic measures and it would have just been more of the same stuff that you've already seen.  
I have cried more today than I have cried in the past two months. Marley and Me, you need to go see it, and read the book, they are both absolutely amazing and I cried so hard. Then my ex-boyfriend told me that he still likes me and he told me that "if he makes you happy, then I guess, I'm happy for you" and I just started bawling, I don't know why, but that just like flipped a switch on me. One of my friends is moving and I don't think he'll miss me and I felt terrible tonight, that's why I am going to use all of this emotion in my "most dreaded chapter."_

_Ohhhhh oh oh oh oh, I am so sorry to even be thinking about asking this, but do any of you know an artist or are any of you artistically gifted? Because I wanted to get some pictures of scenes in this story but everytime I have asked someone to do it, they have backed out on me, so could one of you please please please do something? I feel terrible for asking like this, it's so rude of me, but then again, I do control the story, I could make people live.... and I can make people die. I'm kidding I wouldn't be bribed if someone drew me a picture but I would do something in return, because I would be forever greatful._

_Okay I lied to you. Not on purpose, but just a little bit.  
Coming in the next chapter:  
The "M" Chapter_

_The Chapter after that:  
My most dreaded chapter that I will ever have to write_

_(Now as most of you remember, or don't remember, I always had Quidditch inbetween these two events, and I did not lie, Quidditch is a pivitol part in one of the chapters, but I can't tell you which or why, sorry for all the suspense going on!!!!!)_

_P.S. as a side note, when you do get to the next chapter if you see "You must read in the dark" on the top of the next chapter, it means, you must read it in the dark otherwise it will have no effect on you emotionally and I think it's cooler to read in the dark, and if you can't wait to read it till night, then just go into the darkest room of your house and turn off all the lights, and if you have a computer that just sits in one spot, turn off all the lights and close the blinds while keeping doors shut for full effect. Reading this chapter in the dark may give you the goosebumps, and that is good, it means I am doing my job right._

_For those of you who do not want to read the "M" chapter, I am fine with that, I am going to try to not have it too...... graphic. In some ways, but if you don't read the chapter, it isn't importantly vital that you read it, but it would be nice if you did, but again, I understand if you can't and you just pick back up at chapter 28 because that one will just sort of explain a little bit on what happened in chapter 27. Okay? So don't feel obligated to read it if you don't like "gross" things. I know my best friend won't like this scene coming up and my d.a. readers have absolutely no idea that an M chapter is coming up.... ruh roh raggy! *runs away before pitchforks and knives are thrown in her general direction and hides behind a stump* _

_*the stump talks* Jackie would really really really love it if you make very big reviews on the next two chapters, but you don't have to, all reviews are appreciated, but she just wants the two biggest chapters of the story to have the biggest and most reviews as possible! (But she is not saying this chapter, the next two.)_


	27. Nowhere is safe anymore

**_Please Review, sorry but this is not the "m" chapter_**

I was put to bed rest for another day because I hadn't been relaxing, which made me even more nervous. Winky finally gave me back my books after I had threatened her eight hundred times, but it had been right before she left so it probably wasn't the fact that I had said it, but the fact that she was obligated to get them back.

She finally let me out of bed on the raining day of Friday. I got out of bed and went to go to the library, since it was the only safe place anymore. On my way I bumped into Al, who said, "Got enough books to hold?" He eyed my stack full of books that when I held it at my waist, it was higher than my head.

"One more and I think I might fall over, I was going to go study in the library, want to come with?" I asked, but he sighed, "No, big match against Slytherin tomorrow, got to practice lots, but I really want you there Lily, you haven't been to one match all season, I really want you to see you at one game, at least."

"When is it?" I asked stupidly.

"It will be later in the afternoon, I think it starts at five so everyone is eating dinner early, will you please come? For me?" He looked as if he genuinely wanted me to go, so I sighed, "Fine, I have to study for owls though, if you haven't forgotten, so do three of your team members, don't be too hard on them."

He smiled and told me, "It's good to see you back on your feet," then he continued down the hallway. I walked up to the library and sat at a table in the back corner of the library.

All of my books and parchment filled the whole table. I spent the next two hours of my life stuck in my astronomy book that I clung to for so long. I only let go of it when it was knocked out of my hands by Al, who did not seem to care that he flung my book onto a neighboring table. "Lily, James and I decided… that since I'm leaving next year, that we'd finally pass something onto you." I hadn't noticed before, but Al was whispering, which was very rare, it must be important.

I also hadn't noticed that a hand was behind his back, "What is it Al?"

He slowly turned his hand to reveal… parchment, regular, old, parchment. "Wow Al," I looked at it for a few more seconds "that sure is…" my mind tried to find the right word, but it never came "something." I told him, picking up my book and trying to read it again, his eyes widened, "This isn't just any old parchment Lily, watch what happens."

Al looked over his shoulder and muttered something, with an instant, something came onto the paper, it must be a trick, I thought, but then, I watched in amazement as he unfolded the parchment that it had everything and everyone in Hogwarts. "How did you get this?" I murmured, looking up just in time to see Al's secretive smile.

"James knicked it out of dad's office few years back, I think it was in his third year, but that's not important now. He gave it to me when he left, and I am now passing it onto you." His hands outstretched, but he leaned in closer to me and whispered, "But just for the time being, let's hide it. Don't tell anyone about it, not even Addie, it needs to be kept a secret." He had said "Addie" a little abnormally, it didn't have its dreamy tone as he had always enhanced when he would talk about her, but right now, it was nowhere to be heard. "We can't take risks with this thing, it has been the one and only reason that James and I have gotten off with so much shit." Al pointed to the parchment with his wand and murmured "Mischief Managed."

"Okay, I won't tell Addie." I told him, eyeing his glare.

"Good, now to reveal its secrets you have to say clearly 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'" Al told me, quite seriously. He looked over his shoulder once and shoved the parchment into my hands. "Put it in your pocket," he told me through his teeth, I did what he said and he turned around with a fake smile pasted onto his face. Someone was approaching.

"Hello Potter," Alex told him, "Ready for the match tomorrow night?"

"More like beat your arse into the ground tomorrow night, yeah, I'm ready for that," Al's eyes sparkled with a slight gleam that I had only seen a few times before.

"Don't let your ego overshadow your skills Potter, the combination of the two could be," He stopped and chose a word carefully, "_deadly_." Al seemed to be thrown off by this remark, because he had not been looking at Al when he said this, he had been looking slightly behind Al.

"Look who's got the ego problem, I think if you're just going to harass me and my sister I think you should leave," Al stepped slightly a little more in front of me. "You need your beauty sleep before tomorrow; if you have any beauty that is."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Potter, I'll leave," he walked a few steps before looking back and winking at me, with a whisper of, "see you later Lily."

My eyes widened as my big brother turn around sharply to me, in the most contempt I have ever heard him use "What the hell was that all about?!"

"I-I don't know." I told him honestly.

"Lily, what have you been saying to Harper?" He was stern and leaning on the chair and the table, scowling in front of me.

"N-Nothing, I just-"

"Lily, I told you to stay away from guys like him, remember the last time you were with someone like him? You got hurt, and you got hurt badly. You think that I was oblivious this summer? I know what you were doing, I know my sister more than she thinks." I swallowed my air in one hard gulp. Did he know about Alex?

"I'm not fooling around with him, if that's what you're thinking." I lied, and for some reason, it hurt me more to lie to Al, since he had always told me so much.

His eyebrows raised and he said, "I wasn't thinking that."

A lie I didn't need to tell. "Speak of the devil now," I looked at my book and slightly hid my face, Al had to look to see Matt and the new girl on his arm, apparently the other girl did not find it kind to be compared to a walrus. "Some devil you have there." Al slid out of sight and that was the last that I saw of him.

After two minutes of picking my book back up, the book was stolen from my hands by Alex, who was grinning. "Why don't you focus on something a little bit more amusing?" He came closer to me, but I tried scooting away, which only made me fall backwards off of my chair.

He extended his hand out to me, which I ignored, but then I lost my balance and he held his arm out straighter still. "I won't bite." He told me.

"That's what you said last time," I snarled, remembering that cold winter night.

"I am just trying to help you up."

"Instead of beating me down?"

"If you want to continue to fall down, be my guest."

I finally took his hand but when he had helped me up, he had pulled me up so hard that I had been pushed into him. He whispered a quiet, "show time" before leaning into a kiss which I wanted no part of. I thought the library had been safe, but apparently, nowhere in Hogwarts was safe anymore. I tried pushing him off of me, but his nails dug into my sides. When I finally got my hands onto his chest and I tried to push him off of me, he came off like a quick band aid. On the other side of Alex, was Matt, whom I have never seen so furious in my life. He had pulled Alex off of me, his hand was tightly wrapped around Alex's shoulder. Matt was breathing like he had just run a marathon and had not stopped once. His teeth were gritted and you could see all of his muscles flexing through his shirt.

"I see my job here is done." Alex said, "I will see you later Lily." Somehow, he managed to get out of Matt's death grip. Matt silently motioned me to follow him, but I did not disobey, his rage had gone to a new high. I remembered our last conversation, astronomy, now I would do anything to get back to that subject instead of the awkward one we were about to have.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Matt yelled at the top of his lungs when we got out of the library.

"I didn't want that to happen, no matter what you think, I'm about as pleased about it as you are." I crossed my arms, "and anyways, you could care less if I jumped off the astronomy tower, you would just say that you cared but you really don't and move on with your life."

Matt looked absolutely stricken by my words, "I would care if you died." His lips barely moved.

"Then why do you snog girls purposefully in front of me, but the one time that you see me kiss another guy, you rip him off of me?" My hidden anger towards Matt had now shown in my voice, "Why do you say you don't care about me and then the next minute you say that you didn't mean it! Why do you blame this whole situation on me?"

"Because if it weren't for you, then we wouldn't have to be dealing with this now, we could have been together!" His voice had been raised.

"I'm sorry, I can't control when I get beaten up, do you want to arrange it?!" My face had gone red, "Because you've been acting like a real arse all this year and you specifically avoid me besides when you snog other girls!"

"I was just trying to get over you!"

"You have a shitty way of showing it!"

"You have a bad way of 'handling' things!"

"You act like a three year old, most days!"

"You need to break up with that arse!"

"You need to need to find another girl that will be your damsel in distress because I sure am not her!"

"You need to stop getting hurt then!"

"You need to stay in your own business!"

"You are my business!"

"I am not your business!"

"You need to kiss me right now" our yelling had ceased and I looked up towards his tall figure. He was finally catching up with his breath and his eyes had softened.

Was he serious? Was now really the time for this? My eyes were caught by his and my heart had stopped beating for just one second. The wheels in my head turned at a rapid speed. His exterior looked serious, but was he really?

His hands grabbed a hold of mine, and our fingers intertwined. All of my insides screamed to kiss him, but my body would not move. The uncertainty in his voice made me step back, but he just pulled me in closer to him. My body trembled, and my eyes wavered. Matt's warm breath felt terribly good on my face, his fingers played with mine, and his eyes were looking down at mine, but my eyes would not meet his.

I bit my lip nervously and my eyes finally met with Matt's. Longing and hope filled his eyes. The sorting hat was definitely right on one thing; I have a problem with needing to please people. I took one step forward and looked up into his gorgeous eyes, "Don't speak, just kiss."

The words slipped from my lips and I felt this rush of excitement and terror all at the same time. His hands had came out from mine and his hands were around my very small waist, while my hands had found his hips. Millions of years could have passed by, and I wouldn't have known the difference. The stars would always gleam in Matt's eyes, but would that be enough to save me?

_It took me fifteen days to get this out, god, am I way suckish. I had a practice from 9-5 today and my mom is leaving for Hawaii tomorrow, without me! and I have to do a lot. I'm sorry that I've been so busy lately and that I had lied to you so much._

_Lies about this story:  
1. As you can tell, this was not the "M" chapter, but it will be the next chapter ;), I promise!!!!!!!!!!!  
2. The sequel will no longer be about Lily, I have had a major twist coming up in near chapters and it effects all of my plans for everything, so I have to start all over from scratch.  
3. I said that no one would die, that is a lie.  
4. and I said that I would be getting to the next chapter soon, probably not going to happen._

_I'm sorry for all the suckish news right now but it's kinda been how my day has been, I'm running off of what feels like no sleep and I had to get this out today or I would scream at myself. Sorry, but my Spanish grade is suffering terribly and I need to get cracking the whip so that I can stay in One Act.  
I am sorry about all the people who pm me and I never pm them back, I have bad habits of reading them but never really replying right away then I later cannot remember if I replied to those or not. _

_I'm going to sleep because I feel as if it is well deserved even though I feel like shit because I haven't been a good Author lately and I've been an even worse singer, which I use to be good at but when I am put in a room and told to sing sheet music when I have no idea how the hell to sight read! No piano either, gosh. I just, I wasn't loud either and he won't let me redo it, he said I did fine but I think I bombed it and I almost cried in math that I sucked so badly. Also I have been getting this a lot lately, "Jackie, you're too hard on yourself" but sometimes people need to be hard on themselves so that they can succeed. Ever think of that? Gah, I need sleep, sorry for the babbling and lying, again, sorry :(_

_Review Questions:  
1. If you had to pick one character to kill off, who would it be? (Even though I know what the majority vote will be) And how would you choose to kill them off?  
2. Which OC character of mine is your favorite and why? *Lily cannot be included since she is technically J.K.R's, I just tweaked her a bit to be an outcast*  
3. Why do you think that "Tyler Moon" keeps on appearing in my story, but never as a main character?  
4. If you had to pick one student to be late to class, who would you choose and which class would it be? (This generation only)  
and finally:  
5. What are your predictions on the "M" chapter, how the sequal will not be about Lily, the death, and the new outcome of the story?_


	28. Innocence

_**You must read this chapter in the Dark**!!!!!!  
WARNING! THIS IS THE "M" CHAPTER, IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ IT, OR IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO MATURENESS, DON'T READ IT, OKAY, YOU WILL NOT BE LOST IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT HAD WENT ON. THANKS._

Hearts pounding, lips crashing, fingers intertwining, anger diminishing, love growing.

My heart raced as our kiss intensified, my hands were now running through his hair, his hands were keeping me near him, as if I were going to stray away. I felt his fingers go down to my waist and then slowly I felt his hands go at my waist, but under my shirt. They stayed there, and they never went farther than my waist because there was a sudden bang and I was pushed back into the wall behind me, making a permanent dent in the wall, Matt had also flown back, but he was lying on the ground. Alex did not remove his wand from his deathly grip; instead, he kept it on Matt while moving more towards me.

Every inch of my back hurt and my head was literally throbbing so hard that I thought I would not be able to get up. Alex said nothing but I could tell that his rage was at an all time high. His finger wrapped around a chunk of my hair and pulled me up, I saw Matt try to get up, but I also saw some blood in his direction. Alex flicked his wand at Matt once and he let out a horrible scream. He twitched like mad and I didn't understand what was going on. Alex only smiled when he looked at Matt in his agony and he pulled me closer into him. I wanted so much to cry, but I knew that at Matt's screams, would come someone, and by then, Alex and I will have left, so crying would be useless. I tried to go to him but Alex pulled me back by my hair. Matt's screams grew louder and he was staring at nothing. My fear grew, but the more I wanted to stay and help, the harder Alex would tug on me to leave.

In the end I was shoved down the hallway and taken to the outside of the prefect's bathroom. His hollow voice told me, "Say the password."

I felt his wand slowly caressing my side. In a more softening tone, he hissed, "say it."

My lips only trembled and my mouth would not form the words. My whole body shook at the eerie silence that had filled the empty hallway. With more force in his voice he told me, "Say it."

My head mistakenly shook no, and Alex threw me up against the nearest wall. His rage had reached its limit and he started screaming at me. It was too late for a whole bunch of people to be out, it was actually after curfew, and the only reason that we would be able to be in the library because we were prefects… well, besides Alex. The back of my head hit the wall and I let out a moan, and pleading, "I'll tell you! I'll tell you!" He stopped shaking me and I stopped crying. I turned to the portrait and said numbly, "Bubbles."

The portrait swung open and Alex had me enter the bathroom first. "W-What are we doing in here?" I asked, but then I saw Alex's wand shot out an orange color at the other side of the portrait, going around all of the edges. "Are you mad?" I turned around to stare at him, but he just kept on. His eyes gleamed red and his fists grew stronger. I hadn't brought my wand to the library, a stupid mistake on my part, because dad and Al always told me to keep my wand near me at all times.

"You think you can just go and snog Matthew Perks and I wouldn't notice?" His deathly tone surprised me, and it scared me too. I didn't say anything, but I just shook in fear.

"Did you?!" Alex shouted, aiming his wand at me, then a green light shot by me but missed me by inches, "Are you mad?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Answer me!" Alex came closer to me and through fear I bawled, "No, I didn't think you would find out!"

"You were stupid to think that," he pushed his finger into my chest several more times, each time he would repeat the word "stupid."

"I was an idiot to think that" I cried out, but he only smiled and said, "right you are. Here's your punishment." He came after me like a hippogriff hunting down its prey, only his lips were aiming at my face, and his teeth dug into my skin, causing blood to slowly drip from my lips. His aggressive nature was not appreciated when he was "kissing" me, if you could even call it kissing. His lips went down to my neck and he started biting, I had just about enough when he moved back to my lips again.

His slimy tongue trying to reach all the way down my throat, but I threw him off of me and wiped off my face. "Stop it! I hate it when you do that!"

Alex's face scrunched up and he pulled his wand back out of his pocket, "No one says no to me!" Alex bellowed, "Crucio!"

With one swift hand motion he caused me the worst pain ever imaginable, this pain could not be explained, but it was definitely worse than any other curse that I have ever encountered. My high pitched screams echoed through the bathroom, but the sound did not carry anywhere else. My body started twitching and I couldn't feel my head anymore, I felt as if I weren't even alive anymore. Then, it all came at a stop, my body stopped moving, and my voice had grown tired. My heart beat heavily as my chest rose and fell, then this motion would repeat. My body lay flat on the floor, Alex towering over me.

"Have you had enough?" he whispered, in his most taunting manor. Then, he pointed his wand at my head and said clearly, "Legilimency!"

Then as if to soar through all of my past, my mind played out scenes of my brothers teasing me, Addie and her friendship, my father's uncaring side, and the scenes that I would have liked to have kept private, my time with Matt. But Alex saw every single flaw and worst memory that I had, he even saw himself beating me.

"_Mommy! Albus hit me really hard!" My little four year old self cried, pigtails in my hair, "And he said that the fed ex man dropped me off by mistake!"_

**Flash**

_It was a summer day when James had just come back from Hogwarts, both raving about how amazing it was and how much they loved to fly._

"_Why would anyone want to be friends with a nobody who can't even ride a broomstick without falling off and crying to her mommy?" James sneered, with the support of Albus behind him. I stared and watched myself cry and say, "That isn't true!"_

"_Yeah it is, you're going to be alone for the rest of your life living with mom and dad till they die and then you'll be all alone!" Albus taunted, being nine, and hurt by his words, I started to cry even more._

**Flash**

_I stood in front of the mirror and said, "Mirror girl, you're not perfect, you're nothing even close. You should just go live in a hole and stay there for the rest of your life, because you mean nothing to anyone."_

**Flash**

_I heard the words, "Who do you think that was?" and then, the scene changed._

**Flash**

_Then it was all a blur until I saw that we were clearly in my house, just last year, my heart dropped when I saw my mum, dad, and Matt all in the room. Alex went up closer to Matt just as my other self was running down the stairs. Then I heard the faint whisper of, "I can't let you go, I love you." Before the scene changed, I saw my mum's and dad's expression change drastically._

**Flash**

_It was the day before going back to Hogwarts and I stood by Ron, I didn't want to be there for the conversation, so I tried to find Addie, but I had no such luck, instead I nearly bumped into Tyler Moon and Matt, who were talking in whispers._

"_-And then she just ran off on me, without any warning or reason." Matt finished._

"_Matt, if I had a girl like that, I wouldn't be worrying about why she left, I would have been kicking myself for not running after her." Tyler told him, "right when you see her, you have to go up to her and ask her why she left, since you're obviously bothered by it, but don't harp on it so much." Tyler saw the smoke come from the train and said, tapping his watch, "better get going, don't want to miss the train."_

_The younger version of me ran by them and accidentally knocked Tyler's books out of his hands and he muttered, "god, Matt, you are damn lucky to have her."_

**Flash**

"_I don't want to talk about it right now," Addie looked at me suspiciously and told me, "why don't you want to talk?"_

"_I'm not in the talking mood right now, okay?!" I had been screaming at the top of my voice, "And I don't need you to keep on harping on me for it!"_

_Addie moved her lips slightly, but no sound came out, I finally recognized what she had almost said, "Harper."_

"_What did he do to you this time?" She asked, prying into my life even more, trying to lift up my sleeves, but I slapped her hand down. "Stop it."_

"_I told you so many times that McGonagall could sort this all out for you…"_

"_And like I've told you, he's going to hurt me even more if I tell someone, you aren't even supposed to know. Maybe I'd be better off if you didn't know, that way I wouldn't be pestered so much about my new battle scars."_

**Flash**

_Addie and I were in our dorm again, only this time, I sported a black and blue eye with marks all over my body, my weak frame trembled as Addie came back towards me after getting something from the bathroom. "I would say I told you so, but the pain says it all for me." She tipped her wand to the wet washcloth she had gotten from the bathroom._

_Addie put the washcloth onto my eye and had me hold it there for a while, "Why did he do it this time?" She asked, not in a prying way, but more concerned._

"_I-I don't know." Which was a lie, I did know._

"_You are a very bad liar."Addie told the slightly younger version of me, and she then scolded me for moving the cold washcloth off of my eye._

"_I just, I didn't do what he wanted." I swallowed, "he wanted to snog, and I didn't."_

_Addie turned to stare at me, her face turned a little bit green, "I'm sorry, but the thought of you and Harper snogging would just be absolutely horrifying to see."_

"_It's even worse when you have to be the one snogging him, since he is just so… forceful and he sticks his tongue down your throat-" Addie's face turned even more pale, and if possible, greener. "Do not tell me that!" She threw her hands up in the air and looked away from me, "I really didn't need that visual!"_

**Flash**

_Several memories flashed off at once, kiss after kiss after kiss after kiss with Matt. After each and every one passed by, Alex seemed to get even angrier. So many passed by, before I turned back into…_

Reality.

Alex breathed heavily, his wand still aimed at my heart, I tried sitting up but my arms would not allow it. "You thought that I would never find out about you two, you little scum." His wand twitched at me and the pain seeped through to my very core and I began to start twitching again. "Stop!" I screamed as loudly as I could.

My insides burned even after he had stopped the curse, my chest heaved, trying desperately to get air. Is this what Matt had gone through too? My mind wandered far away from the true reality that stood in front of me.

"No one can hear your pitiful screams; no one will come to rescue you anyways, now that Perks is out of the way." Alex sneered; watching me like a hawk watches its prey. "No one cares about an ugly girl like you."

The tears slowly escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, Alex just laughed at this and said, "I would have thought that a _true_ Potter would have stayed stronger than that, I mean, you're just so… _weak_." His smile widened when I started to cry even harder, "Although your brother's Quidditch skills are also weak."

I said nothing to this remark, but then Alex crouched down towards me, his face nearing mine, he whispered into my ear, "And now, for the last part of my plan, the distraction."

Before I could ask what that meant, Alex's lips crashed hard onto mine. I would have pushed him off of me, but I didn't have much energy left in me. I bit hard onto his tongue before getting a wand nearly cutting through the skin of my neck; he kept on with what he had been doing, as if none of this was wrong.

His kisses moved down to my neck, where he stopped for just a moment, before looking up at me. I could feel his hot breath on my face as his eyes flashed a deep shade of red, "Who is this from?" My eyes closed for just a second, one second, and my fate came crumbling down. I knew what he was asking about…

It was the tree house necklace that Matt gave to me before we arrived back at Hogwarts from Christmas break. He repeated his question, but he did not get an answer, for I was shaking so hard on the floor. My whole body trembled, not knowing what was coming for me next. "Tell me the truth, and you won't get hurt."

I knew that this was a lie, because no matter what I said he would check my memory and he would know that I had been either lying or telling the truth, neither would make him happy. The tears started flowing down my face as I wept, "Yes, yes, it's from Matt."

He grabbed a hold of the necklace and tugged on it so hard that it shattered into many pieces, and he threw the only connected parts over to the other side of the room. "Much better," he muttered, "now where were we?"

Alex started kissing me again, only, this time, it felt… strange. It had more force than I had ever thought he could muster. Then, I felt his icy fingers on my skin, this cold, tingling sense went up my waist until I knew what he was trying to do. My hands went straight to his arms and yanked them out from underneath my shirt. "What the ruddy hell do you think you're doing?!" I asked in a high pitched squeal.

"Oh stop being so innocent Potter," he knew I hated when he called me that, "and cooperate, this will be over before you know it."

"What will be over with?" I asked, my tone had not changed.

"Cooperate, or I'll kill your brother, or maybe I'll go for killing Matthew Perks, since he's the only reason why you won't cooperate…" His voice echoed off of the walls, kill… kill… kill… this word was engraved into my mind.

"I don't know what you're talking about though." I told him, he sat on my abdomen and said, "Just don't fuss and everyone you love will be okay."

He started kissing me again, only I pushed him off, "Stop it, I don't like that, now get off of me and I'll be on my way."

"I don't think so," he took my arms and held them to the ground so hard that they could not move an inch if I wanted to.

His anger was being taken out on me, by kissing me too hard, his tongue jabbing my mouth. Then, I felt my shirt becoming looser on me, before I could look down, I knew what had happened. Alex smiled at my pale skin, and how skinny I had become, even though it was nothing pretty to see since I was basically skin and bones.

The only thing that kept him from me was my bra. His tongue kept me busy while his hands did all of their work, but my hands had become free, so I took a hold of them and tried to move him back but I just wasn't strong enough for him. "Stop fussing," he warned, while not taking his lips off of mine, "or your precious little Matt is going to pay for it."

"Stop it right now, stop it!" His hands slowly slid up my waist and onto my ribcage. I let out another scream of "Stop it!" but his hands were on their own mission.

My leg tried to come up and kick him, but it didn't reach, so I tried grabbing his hands. But by the time this thought had crossed my mind, I had been too late. I let out a loud moan. This cold feeling surrounded my body with an aching feeling lingering on my skin.

Alex had obviously never touched a girl's breast before because his face glowed with the elation of a two year old getting his first tricycle. "Don't do that!" I screeched, my arms tried to push him away but he would just grab harder, which hurt dreadfully.

"I told you to stop!" I cried out in pain and desperation. "Get your hands off of me!"

"I'm not done with you," he made a low growling noise, his eyes pierced into mine and I let out a scream, he had squeezed harder.

"Where are your brothers now, huh Potter? Where are they?" he taunted, almost laughing to himself, "Like I told you in our first year, they won't always be around to save you."

I could not conceal my gasp, I remembered when he had said something… very briefly, he had showed me what the next five years would be like… a living hell.

"You've known all along, haven't you?" I whispered, "You've planned this all out."

"How stupid you really are, yes I have planned this." Alex snarled, "I've been planning tonight for as long as I can remember."

My gut made a twist and my heart flopped all at the same time, I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer, even though I asked anyway, "but why?"

"Well there is no specific reason as to why I am doing this, besides the pure pleasure of being with you," he said, almost as if he were moaning, "maybe love has something to do with it."

"If you loved me even half as much as Matt does you wouldn't have even thought about doing this for a second," I snapped, beside myself, I don't know what was going on with my head.

He bit his lower lip, and sighed, "Oh you haven't even seen the best part yet."

His lips hovered over mine for the longest time till he whispered, "Or felt."

My heart beat rapidly as he kissed me, I didn't want any part of this, not one bit of me did. His tongue slowly slipping into my mouth and massaging the roof of my mouth. I had the urge to bite, but I knew that if I would, then I would not see the light of tomorrow morning.

He finally came up for air, and he sat up, his hands unbuttoning his shirt. "Take off your skirt," he ordered, almost half way down his shirt.

"What?" I asked, as if I had not heard him correctly, which I wish I had not.

He sighed and did not repeat what he had said; instead, he tore off his shirt and tossed it to the side. His chest had little muscle, and his arms were long and lanky. He slid down my legs and gave a light tug on my skirt, I tried keeping it up but he just gave up and ripped it off of me. I felt humiliated, I couldn't move much, my head was throbbing with so much pain that I could barely think straight, I was lying on the prefect's bathroom floor and last but certainly not least, I was almost naked.

"Almost there," he sneered, taking off his own pants, then all we had between us were our knickers. He eyed my body and smiled widely, "almost."

I pleaded with Alex for him to not do it, but, he did, there I lay, completely naked, in the prefect's bathroom, with a boy, who had a ferocious appetite for me. I tried to reason with him but he did not say anything but, "Just close your eyes and it'll be over before you know it." His wicked grin would later scar me for life.

I made the mistake of listening to him, and closing my eyes. I let out a ear shattering scream, I started to cry, "Get it out! Get it out right now!"

He told me, "It will hurt more if you fuss."

"Get it out!" My screams echoed off of the walls, being heard by no one but the boy causing me so much agony. He only laughed at my cries and smiled at my feeble attempts to make him go away.

After my lungs had given out, and he had finally finished, I lay like a rug on the floor. I had felt that nothing worse could come to me right now; I felt as if I had no soul, I was now… tainted. My innocence was lost and my I knew that Addie's super senses would tingle and she would find out for sure… I did not want to explain this.

Alex had put his shirt back on and he pointed his wand at me.

The room slowly faded into a pitch black, my innocence was gone, and my cries for help, went unanswered.

_......I'm sorry........ I am so sorry......_


	29. Myrtle's Warning

**_Please Read and Review!!!_**

***Albus***

I stood in the way of the portrait to the Ravenclaw common room. I waited until Addie came out. I ignored the sweeping sensation that I had gotten in my knees and asked, "Hey, Addie, have you seen Lily?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing; she didn't come to bed at all last night." Addie told me, I raised an eyebrow and asked, "what do you mean, she didn't come to bed at all last night? Don't you two share a room?"

"Yes," she told me shortly, adjusting the several books in her hands, "But she didn't return to her bed, I'm guessing that she just did an all-nighter and went to breakfast, she does that sometimes, but that's why she crashed last time."

I looked at her skeptically and said quickly, "come on, let's go see if she's at breakfast."

Before I took a step, I told her, "I'll carry those," gesturing to her books, she raised her left eyebrow in her cute way that she always had. I took the books out of her hands and walked her down to the great hall, where I was greeted with many boos and hissing noises. "Retaking the fifth year Potter? You that dumb?" Shouted a familiar voice from down the hall, it was Alex Harper, who looked rather satisfied with himself, and he looked unkempt. His hair was all tangled and his uniform was wrinkled, but I didn't ask why he looked like a slob, I could not care less what girl was stupid enough to sleep with him last night.

Five glances down the Ravenclaw table and she was nowhere to be found, not even Matthew Perks was at breakfast. "Matt should be here," Addie told me nervously, "he's always down here by now."

"Matthew Perks?" asked a girl, that Addie knew but I didn't have the slightest idea who she was, and I did not care who she was, "he was sent to the hospital wing late last night, he had gotten in a fight, he's alive and talking, but he won't talk to many people."

"That doesn't sound like Matt," Addie muttered, "he hates violence…"

We left the great hall and went up to the hospital wing, much to Addie's displeasure, to see a little friend, when in fact, he was as pale as can be and he looked weak. "Dear god," Addie murmured, running to him, and kneeling by his bedside. "Matt? Matt? Are you okay?"

"A little sore, but just fine," he said in a raspy voice, "where is Lily?" His eyes had looked behind me, as if he was waiting for her to come into the door.

"That's what we need your help with Matt, we don't know where she is." Addie told him calmly, touching his hair, "She didn't come back to bed last night."

Matt's face seemed to harden, and fear flooded into his eyes. "What do you mean; she didn't come back to bed last night?"

"She never came back up to the room, not since after she left last night to go studying," Addie looked at the disheveled looking Matthew Perks and said quickly, "but I bet she's fine, where ever she is."

"Don't lie to him," I muttered, setting Addie's books on a nearby chair. I had not ever really gotten along well with Matthew Perks, in fact, I may have even hated him at a few points in my life, but lying to him would get us nowhere. "You have no idea where she is either, so you don't know if she's alright."

"Well I'm trying to look on the bright side and not being pessimistic, unlike you over here who doesn't know where or how she is either!" Addie fired back, her shortness had decreased since she had gotten up on her toes and was now face to face with me because she was just a little bit taller than Lily.

"Fairytales will get you nowhere in life and believing that she may be dancing on a rainbow with magical frolicking bunnies won't help us!" I shot.

"Picturing that she's dead won't help us either!" Addie yelled, the words had flown out of her mouth. Her horrified expression showed drastically on her face. "I-I didn't mean that," she said in a quiet voice, "I didn't mean it like that." For the first time, Addie looked at me with tears in her eyes, and whispered, "I don't want… She can't…"

Within an instant, she had been screaming at me with the top of her voice, and now, Adeline Abraham was standing in front of me with single tears coming down her rosy cheeks. She came towards me and buried her head in my chest, slowly tying her graceful arms around my back. "I'm sorry," she murmured into my shirt, "I am so sorry."

I wrapped my arms around her small waist, and I gently rest my head on hers, "It's okay, everything is alright."

She tried to argue that but then she only ended up crying harder for the fact that she had started yelling again and thinking the worst of situations. "I'm sorry," she repeated, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, we all make mistakes." I told her, I may be a Gryffindor, but right now, I was anything but brave. Here, I had the girl of my dreams, in my arms, and I was just being there to comfort her… like any friend would do. I needed to show her somehow, but I was too chicken, I might have been placed into Gryffindor, but I was being a coward right now.

Addie held onto me extra tightly, and her body was near mine. It felt right. I could feel her grip loosening, and her tears had almost been nonexistent by this point. I had to do something quick, but what?!

My mind raced, she had pulled out of our embrace by just a little bit, her face was now looking up at me and she smiled a little, "Thank you." She whispered.

I placed my hand on the back of her head, and gently kissed her forehead, smiling to myself, "Your welcome."

Addie's eyes had grown huge and she was a dark shade of maroon, she opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing that came out was a girly giggle. She let go of me and I told them, "I have to go, see you later."

I felt something smoothly tug onto my hand, I looked, and saw that Addie's hand held onto mine. "I am coming with."

Matt annoyingly let out a huge sigh and said, "Well obviously I'm not going anywhere so could you go take your cuteness somewhere else where I don't have to see it."

Without any more words, we left the hospital wing, we went to go check the library, but on the way there, we found Professor McGonagall, who seemed worried.

"Hello Professor," I told her as we approached, she had been standing in front of the prefect's bathroom portrait.

"Potter, could you tell me the meaning of this?" She asked, obviously frustrated, pointing at the portrait.

I looked at it closer, and the occupant of the portrait had left its own painting. "Uhhmmm, no professor, I haven't the slightest idea."

"Students have reported hearing things coming from the bathroom but we can't get in unless we break into the painting which could cause some trauma to the other paintings…" her voice was drowned out by a terrible scream that was coming from the other side of the portrait. I let go of Addie's hand and I listened closer. The scream came again… that scream belonged to my sister.

"But I haven't heard a thing yet, some students just don't know how to be serious..." McGonagall couldn't hear the screams, and neither could Addie.

I knew how much trouble I would be facing if I did it, but if I didn't I might not have a sister. I punched a hand through the portrait and climbed through. Both Addie and McGonagall had looked at me as if I were crazy. The bathroom had flooded rapidly, and when I stepped on the ground, I was in knee high water. "Lily?!" I shouted, "LILY!?!"

No reply, I knew what I had heard; "You won't be able to find her, not if you aren't willing to get a little wet." Moaning Myrtle told me.

"Did you do this?!" I screamed, wanting to kill a dead person.

"I did no such thing, I can only turn faucets, but the faucets are jammed, they won't stop, they haven't for hours."

"Where is my sister?!" I tried yelling over the water that was almost to my thighs.

Myrtle just pointed towards the bathtub, "Over there, she's been there for hours."

I ran as hard as I could, over to the big tub. I tried finding her in all of the bubbles, but no such luck, so I jumped in. Blinded by the suds, I felt around for any sign of her, any sign at all. I had to take a big breath and dive back down, it seemed much deeper than ever before and it may have been enchanted that way, because my feet could not touch the ground, they hadn't yet.

Everything was going black; my body was now aching, if I did not find her soon, then I would never find her.

Then by chance or by miracle, I felt her skin. I couldn't tell if it was her arm or her leg, but I did not care, I had found her. I hiked her up on my shoulder and tried swimming up, but my lungs were about to cave and the extra weight was dragging me down slowly. I remembered, my wand had been in my pocket, I took it out and shouted with the last breath I had.

I had landed hard onto the floor, coughing and choking on the water; I rubbed my eyes and glasses and looked around. Lily had flown near the sinks, which were also flooding; I ran over to her and lifted her head above water, "Lily?" I asked, trying to get her to respond, "Lils?" Her skin was almost like frozen ice and her color had almost faded into nothingness. "Lily, it's your brother, you need to wake up." I told her, a little more force in my voice.

She didn't move.

"Lily, get up, you can't leave me, you can't leave me." I started to shake her, but she made no movement on her own.

"Lily, you have to get up, you can't leave me alone," but no muscle in her body would budge, the water seemed to have gone down an invisible drain, because the water was now shallow enough to set Lily down on the ground. I sat next to her.

"Lily!" I shouted in desperation, "Wake up!"

Lily's body lay almost lifeless on the floor of the prefect's bathroom, "Lily, you can't die, okay, you can't die, I need you here!" I shouted to the figure, "You can't leave me here!"

I hit the ground with such a force that it hurt my hand, my head collapsed onto Lily and I told her, "You can't go, you can't leave me here, no matter what I have told you before, everyone loves you Lily, and we all need you… but I especially need you. I need you to tell me when I'm being stupid, I need your help with homework, and no matter how much I hate to say this, I need your help with girls. I need you to stay alive. Lily, I need you."

Out of pure frustration I pounded onto her ribcage… then, something miraculous happened.

Tons of water came out of her mouth and she started coughing, her arms moved to where I had hit her. Her eyes opened widely, looking to both of her sides uneasily. Then her eyes finally found me, her coughing had stopped, but she looked absolutely terrified.

Her lip trebled terribly as she spoke, "W-What h-hap-ppened?"

"You tell me." I said, lifting myself off of her.

Her lips trembled, her whole body seemed to be going in some type of shock right now, "I need t-to t-tell y-you something… I-I lied t-to you b-before."

"About what?" I asked, hearing Moaning Myrtle let out a joyous squeal, "Oooh, this will be good fun. Little miss no wrong doer has a little secret to share when little does she know, she is not the only one who knows her little secret."

I saw Lily's eyes grow wide with fear, "She is not as innocent as her brother thinks she is, she is a slut and she is a bad girl who should have died in a bathroom just like I did!"

Lily's body was not still and her body had not warmed up since she got out of the bathtub. "You shut up about my sister!" I yelled, not believing what she was saying.

"Brother believes sister over Myrtle, but when Myrtle is told to tell the truth, she will spare no details." Then the ghost flew back into a nearby toilet. Lily's eyes were bloodshot and her whole body was uneasy and she would not calm down. I would have picked her up, but I knew I wouldn't be able to carry her far.

I heard someone climbing through the portrait hole, then, I turned around to look. Mum was standing in the portrait hole, trying to search for words as she looked around the room, then her eyes had finally met mine and she let out a scream. Running to her children, she came to hug me and kiss the top of my head, while now entering was dad, who looked over at the tub first and somehow stopped all of the faucets before coming over to see us.

"What happened?" Mum asked, looking from Lily to me, then back to Lily, and touching her face, but she quickly took her hand off of Lily's face and shuddered. "Harry, she's freezing, we have to take her to the hospital wing at once."

Mum had a Gryffindor scarf wrapped around her neck, and a hat with red and a golden lion stitched onto the front, probably made by grandma years back.

"Who did this?" Dad asked, finally coming over to us, he was the most dry out of anyone, because mum was now kneeling on the floor too.

"Questions later Harry, not now." Mum snapped angrily, dad picked Lily up with ease… maybe too much ease for his liking by the expression that he had made.

"I didn't mean to c-cause s-so much trouble," Lily told us in a weak voice.

"Honey, by the looks of it, you didn't do anything wrong." Mum said, getting to her feet now.

"But I didn't tell you about it before… I shouldn't have let the problem get so big… I shouldn't have let him do this for so long." My mother shhhed her and told her softly, "not now Lily, you can tell us later, but right now, our only priority is to get you safe and healthy."

And Lily did not speak another word until we reached the hospital wing.

_Another side to the story always makes things more interesting. I tried to describe things differently with Al, but it's hard to write something that the character is oblivious to, but your main character knows and the readers know so I tried at least. The only reason I got this out was because I am sick and my dog jumped on my stomach at 6 this morning which caused... not so much pretty things.  
If you did not read the "M" chapter, yes, you may be confused but everything will be explained in the next two chapters, I decided that the "Most dreaded chapter that I will ever have to write" should be in two parts since so much already happened in this chapter and I wanted to give you something to read and I want lots of feedback because the reviews that I got for the last chapter either confused me or I was like.... "Okay...." and a few were nice though, but mostly your reactions were disgusted and want to kill him more.  
If you are confused and did not read the "m" chapter go to the spot where we see Alex, and reread that whole spot until I stop mentioning him, hopefully by now, even you understand the irony.  
If I did not post this I would have probably gotten the comment: "How come Harry and Ginny 'magically' come in at the right time" Well, for one, you're wrong, it was one of the worst times for Lily, and 2. I tried to make it apparent that they had come to see Al's match but then they saw Addie and professor McGonagall in the hall and had to come in and investigate like all good parents._

_When reviewing, remember these events:  
Some of you may still be hung up on the "M" chapter  
Al and Addie  
Myrtle  
Alex  
and  
of course, Lily_


	30. Regret

**_Please Review_**

"Harry," Mum whispered softly, as if to not wake Lily, for she had finally gotten to sleep, "I told you that homeschooling would be safer."

Dad ran his fingers through his hair, and said, "Not now Ginny, do not rub homeschooling onto me right now."

Mum's hands would not settle into one spot and they kept on tapping and hitting anything she could reach. "I just…" she stopped and looked at Lily for a long time, before continuing on, "I just think that maybe we should take her home, she would be far better off in our safe environment then getting beaten up and god only knows what will happen next."

"Ginny, we can't baby her; she needs to stay in contact with people her age." Dad said shortly, sitting down opposite of mom, "besides, knowing Lily, she would never go for it, she could never leave her friends."

She looked at him gravely, "Harry, you have not read the past letters that I have been getting from Lily. She has been unhappy and the only friend she has now is Addie, because Lily and Matthew Perks had a fight or something…"

They sat in the silence of the room until Lily started tossing in bed. Lily's body had dropped to a chilling temperature and her body was twitching. "What's going on?" I asked, but Mum wouldn't answer me, she stood up and ran to go get Madam Pomfrey from within her office. They returned no later than a minute after she had left, and the old witch looked at Lily with alarm. "This has never happened." The healer whispered, "Not in all of my years have I seen a case like this…"

Mum outmatched Madam Pomfrey's mutterings and she knelt right by Lily's side, stroking her hand over Lily's face. "Lily, honey, it's just a dream. Lily, it's just a dream."

Lily's movements did not stop, if anything, they increased, mum's fear shown on her face and she tried holding Lily down, but not even mum's strength could match Lily.

We watched in horror as Lily started to scream, but she never opened up her eyes. "What's happened?" I tried to ask mom, but she had not been listening, for she continued to try to talk Lily out of her twitching.

"Her body must have gone into shock," Madam Pomfrey tried to say, partly to mum, but mostly for everyone else to calm down.

"That doesn't explain the screaming," Mum snapped, still trying to calm Lily down, pleading with her stirring body. "Lily, everything is alright."

For the first time in my life, my mum, had lied.

***Lily***

_Alex kissing my next, his hands running all over my body. His fingers running through my hair, his body was pressing against mine. "Stop," I murmured, "Stop it."_

_The only way that he could get me to stop talking was by slipping his tongue slowly into my mouth. He did not taste very good, in fact… he tasted… evil. It was as if venom were pouring out from his tongue and sliding into my mouth._

_He came up for air, and I begged for him to stop, but he just kept on._

"_Please, Alex, you are better than this, you can redeem yourself, please" I was quickly running out of excuses._

"_That doesn't matter to me anymore," he said fiercely, "I kind of am fond of being the villain."_

My eyes tore open, I was drowned in a cold sweat that covered all of my body. My body ached and my mother sat sobbing on my bed. Al looked at me with wide eyes and dad was nowhere in sight. "Lily, what were you seeing?" My mother asked me seriously, trying to stop her sobbing.

"I-I…" I told myself that I wasn't going to lie anymore, but it had caught my throat, then it blurt out, "I saw someone dying."

"Who?" Mum's hands took mine, she felt like she was burning up with a fever, "Who did you see, Lily?"

"It looked like a younger version of Uncle George," I felt my lie growing even bigger and bigger. Mum's hands immediately let go of mine and she covered her mouth. She muttered a pardon and left the hospital wing in tears. I felt awful, no, awful wasn't the word…. I felt like the worst person on the planet.

Al looked at me, and just stared. He never said anything, but he covered me with another blanket. I gave a shudder and asked quietly, "shouldn't you be going to your match now?"

"It got postponed." He informed me quietly, "Even championships have to hold off for a crisis like this."

He tapped his foot nervously on the floor, while playing with his fingers in his lap, "McGonagall's been worrying about you… her and dad went to go talk to Addie, but it's been taking them a while to find her…. She went and locked herself up somewhere after coming into the hospital wing, then finding out what happened to you just made her lose it…"

If anyone in the world felt worse than I did at this exact moment, please tell me, because I would like to know.

"Oh."

That was all I could say.

Dead silence filled the room; I wanted nothing more than for everything to be the same as it had been before… when I had my innocence. I could tell that Al had changed too… all within one night, my world had come crashing down upon me and everyone I loved.

The worst part about this whole situation… was the fact that Alex was a free man and I was trapped, in my sea of lies.

_This chapter is epically short, and I apologize. I just thought that I should get it out of the way, because I have to do too much shit tomorrow. I honestly... have just way too much to do and this story is really dragging on me. I want to say no to the sequel but at the same time I know that you all want the sequel... I also noticed that several reviewers from before are no longer reviewing, which is most unfortunate. I wish they would have stuck around to see the story till the end.  
I am thinking that my writing should come last on my agenda.... I have been struggling with grades, my friends are also slipping, and drama starts back up again on Tuesday.... which is also another problem, but I need to stay in that. This means that chapters will not come out every few or so days like I had originally done, they will be coming slower, but the writing will still be the same quality, it's just, it might take a little bit longer than a week most times. Which delays my deadline of when I wanted to complete this, but what the hell, I just need to focus on grades right now because I am falling, and I am falling hard._

_This really irritated me. I warned people about the severity of the "M" chapter, and they agreed, yes, blah blah blah blah blah. And now, no reviews. No messages. No nothing from them. They stop reading because of something, and they don't let me explain. I truly believe that things happen for a reason, that's what my stories go by, but I can't understand why they just stop reading because of one chapter that they didn't agree with. Sorry if you actually took the time to read this, it's just been bothering me. I have to go, it's 3:46._

_Coming Up:  
Quidditch!_

Reminders for Reviews:  
Addie  
Alex  
Ginny  
and  
Harry


	31. A secret no more

**_You must read in the dark. Please Review!_**

I don't know why, but I was lying down in bed, and I was begging to go to a Quidditch match. "But it won't be that long of a match! Al can catch that snitch quicker than anyone else!" Al sat next to me in disbelief; he had never heard me talk about Quidditch, more for the fact that I couldn't stand it. "I told him I would go! You have to let me go, I've been studying for Owls the whole time I've been in here, it's not like I'm a bad kid." I whined.

"Rules are Rules Miss Potter, and I certainly do not bend rules for Quidditch, you need your rest." She told me flatly.

"But you bend the rules for other things?" I asked her, her face turned to me, and said shortly, "well, no, but Miss Potter, you need your rest and a Quidditch Game…"

"I will come right back here after the game is over, I can have Al bring me to and from the match," I saw out of the corner of my eye, Al nod his head. "I will sit down in the seats and I will cheer minimally."

"You are stubborn, like your mother," Madam Pomfrey told me, looking at me, putting her hands on her hips, then she gave me a smile, "and clever like your father."

"So… can I go?" I asked, hopeful that I would get out of this hell hole for an hour or two.

"You may go, on the account that you come right back, and your brother makes sure that you get to and from the match safely." Madam Pomfrey told us. We high-fived, which caused Madam Pomfrey to laugh. "You may leave now if you would like, since Albus needs his time to get ready…"

I got out of bed and we headed down to the pitch, I stumbled a few times, but I got up by myself. Walking had been a strange concept for me, since I hadn't walked in a few days. Al set me down in a seat, next to Addie, and told me that he would see me at the end of the match. I was amazed at how many people showed up so early for one game. Although, it was the championship match.

Addie just looked at me skeptically, not saying a word. She had the same exact look on her face as she had in our first year, she knew… she didn't know who, she didn't know when, and she didn't know why… but Adeline Abraham knew.

"Hi," I said quietly, she looked at me scandalized, as if she were saying, "how come you didn't tell me?"

I could tell, in her mind, she was debating whether confronting me or letting me tell her on her own. I had to make sure that she didn't know that I knew what she was thinking; otherwise, she would confront me now.

"Tyler came by to see me today, Tyler Moon, you know? And he kept on asking me all these questions about you," Addie raised an eyebrow, forgetting for a minute what she had been thinking. "I think he likes you."

Lie! Lies, LIES!!!

They came out of my mouth like air, always and forever.

Addie straightened up in her chair, and said, "Well tell him I am not interested… I like someone else."

Before I could ask a question, I saw Matt, he was coming towards me and his smile was tucked away in his pocket. He came over to me, and whispered into my ear, "We need to talk after the match… about you and me."

I nodded, and he sat down next to me. What could Matt possibly need to talk to me about? But I did not have much time to dwell on it, because a voice sounded throughout the stadium. "Welcome boys and girls to the Championship match! Today we will be seeing Slytherin versus Gryffindor for the title of Champion. Now before we get going here I would like to inform you all on why this match was postponed." Hufflepuff 5th year, Miles Goldstein announced, "Yesterday, there was an attack on one of my fellow classmates, and the teachers needed to get to the bottom of things so the match was cancelled. But today, my fellow classmate is sitting somewhere in these seats as I speak. We are very lucky to have her with us."

Addie made a snorting noise to my left, but Matt just looked at me. Matt looked strained from everything, the pressure to do well on his Owls had struck him the hardest. Despite what I thought, Matt wanted nothing more in the world than to be an Auror. Apparently his parents had been planning out his future since they were young, and when he was finally born, those expectations rose.

I noticed that everyone else was in t-shirts and jeans. I sat in a loose scarf, a long sleeve shirt, a coat, and I had jeans. I was shivering in my seat, nothing could make me warm, no spell, no remedy that Madam Pomfrey would try to make me swallow willingly, and definitely no amount of clothing could either.

Matt looked at me once, then he looked back at me a second time. He shook his head, but still said nothing. Matt was definitely harder to read than Addie, but for the life of me, I could not figure out what he meant by that second look.

I gave a shiver, not remembering gloves was the first mistake I made when leaving the hospital wing. The second was actually leaving the hospital wing. "Lily, it's like, 30 degrees out, what are you doing with all that on?"

"It's keeping my body heat in," I told Matt; I knew he was trying to make the conversation less awkward, but it wasn't working very well. "Nothing that Madam Pomfrey does can keep me warm for more than 20 seconds, I feel like I'm an ice cube compared to everything else."

Matt gave me another long look and his gaze softened, "I'm sure you can warm up somehow."

I tapped my fingers on the arm rest until I felt a warm hand wrap its fingers around mine. Matt's eyes looked at me and with his lips barely moving, he whispered, "Maybe I can."

Matt had been the only warm thing that I could remember, it felt like he had a fever or like he was going to burst into flames soon. I took my hand away and looked forward, not even looking at Matt in the corner of my eye. I placed my hands in my lap and then played with them until I heard mass cheering coming from the Slytherin side.

Addie booed loudly to my left, then, I saw why everyone was yelling: the Slytherin team had come out.

"This year the Slytherin team has done quite well but has yet to beat the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so we'll see how they compete today," Miles's voice boomed throughout the whole stadium. I felt Addie shift uncomfortably in her seat, "And there goes the vivacious Felecia Foley, she is the lead Chaser for the Slytherin team."

Then, I heard Addie mutter, "Has your obsession with Lily subsided, or were you the one that she was shacking up with the other night?"

I tried to bite my tongue, but it did not go over well. I turned over to her, my blood inside me boiling, she had no idea what went on. "Excuse me?" I asked with my teeth gritted. Addie, for the first time in her life, said, "Oh you heard me, don't act all innocent, because I know what happened. I know that you are anything but innocent."

She had no idea, non-what-so-ever. I opened my mouth to retort, but then Miles's voice came over the announcement again. "And here comes the Gryffindor Quidditch Team!"

It took forever to get the actual match started, and when it did, I was less than pleased to sit for a long time to watch people pass balls back and forth to each other when they would only lose the ball to someone else in the end.

However, I did boo once when a bludger had missed Alex Harper by a few inches. "Come on!" I yelled.

It began to rain, and I was stupid enough not to bring any water proof things.

Al was coming dangerously close to the Ravenclaw section when Alex Harper zoomed by him, but when Al swung his bat he let out a big moan when he had not hit the Slytherin seeker. "Hey Potter, your sister made that exact same noise when her and I were shagging two nights ago!"

My life was now completely ruined, if it had not been before, this had to be the lowest part of my life. Addie stood up, with a livid expression, turned to me, "I knew it!" she shrieked. Her eyes glowed with rage and they flashed red. Al had turned his broom towards me, his expression of disgust and shock was what I had expected. My life was slowly going from unbearable, to rock bottom. Addie's index finger was still pointing in my face, "I knew it when I saw that you didn't have your necklace on!"

My hand went to my bare neck, I just remembered, Alex had torn it off…

I could feel the tears welling up into my eyes, "I-I didn't mean to-"

Addie's face was scarlet, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO?! YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HIM AND NOT MEAN TO HAVE DONE IT!"

I stood up, trying desperately hard to hold back the tears, "I didn't mean to do it." I repeated, one tear escaped from my eye, "I didn't want to."

I turned away from Addie and I saw Matt, his back was up against the chair and he was staring at me. It wasn't an angry stare, it was more of a, "how could you have betrayed me" stare. He shook his head no, and said, "You didn't… you couldn't have…. No."

"I'm sorry," I told him, it was impossible for me to look at Matt and not start to cry, but it was hidden by the rain, "I'm so sorry."

Before Addie or anyone else could pummel me to the ground, I ran. Out of the seats, onto the stairs, and down out of the stadium. I ran as fast as I could to the castle, for I knew that no one would be there…

Step, step, step, step, step, stop. I heard a quiet, mocking voice, "Naughty little girls don't get very good reputations, and if they do, they don't deserve them."

I turned my back and I saw, Moaning Myrtle out of a bathroom, her eyes seemed to glow at me, through her glasses. "You are a naughty girl Lillian Potter; you slept with a guy, and for what? Nothing, you got nothing in return."

"You know I didn't want that to happen," I protested, "You know what really happened Myrtle."

"Doesn't mean that I can't alter the truth, I know you didn't want to do it, but you did it anyways," Myrtle told me, "and if I were you, I wouldn't be complaining so much. Alex is drop dead gorgeous."

"You wouldn't know gorgeous if I came up and stamped ugly across your forehead," I muttered to myself, wiping off a few stray tears. "You know that if I wouldn't have cooperated he would have killed me!"

"Then why don't you do it yourself, it's what he wanted you to do, wasn't it?" Myrtle told me, "He wanted you dead or he wanted your body, and none of your friends are friends with you anymore because they won't let you explain… If I were you, I would just get it over with and not have to deal with this torture that you put yourself through."

"That isn't true, my friends are still my friends," I was being bullied by a ghost, why did she get to me so much?

"Sure they are… sure they are." Myrtle floated a bit away before turning and saying, "I just wish I could have seen you drown, it would have pleased me so."

And Myrtle let me to stand there and think… and think more… until I made up my mind.

...

...

...

.

.

.

.

.

...

...

...

It was later than curfew, and I had only one thing on my mind…

How did I get here?

Lie after lie after lie I drove myself to here, and this is what needed to happen.

My scarf, my shoes, my socks, my hat, and my coat all sat in a puddle. The only thing that kept me from the puddles of water was my skin. I wished that it had been a happier time… I wished that I would jump in the puddles like I had always done when I was younger. But it seemed childish and unimportant right now.

I was soaked to my skin; my clothes clung to my nothingness figure. The tallest tower in Hogwarts didn't seem to be tall enough, but it would have to do. My foot uneasily came up to the siding; the stone was warm on my feet, because I was sure that my body temperature was below 0 degrees. My left foot joined my right and I was standing at the tallest point in all of Hogwarts. My toes tingled on the stone; my balance was already horrible as it was. I was trying to think of good last words… but then again, no one would hear them. Then, Alex swarmed into my head… as if to invade my mind.

Then, unconsciously, I started to remember, and repeat "You're nothing Lily, you aren't even worth a galleon for your body, and even less for your brain… You like being a fat girl don't you? So that people can pity you? ... No one loves you, and no one ever will… You little piece of shit, get up! Are you done now? …. Don't be such a cry baby… No one is here to save you now Lily, what are you going to do? Huh? What are you going to do?"

My eyes had closed, and my last thought was Matt… the betrayed look on his face… and how sad he looked. I had created that look, I had made him sad. I was the one ruining his life; he didn't need me around… He doesn't need me.

I lifted my right foot, I stepped forward… and I took my last breath…

...

...

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

...

...

...

The rain pounded down… the puddles formed… and the tears had fallen down.... down.... down.


	32. Frightened

***Addie Abraham***

Sitting in an uncomfortable seat for more than an hour was less than amusing to me, but what was amusing was the fact that I had a reason to stare at Albus Potter for more than one hour. I had always been careful in when I chose to look at him, and I had to make sure that I was not around Lily. If she knew that I liked her brother, she would certainly flip her lid.

Not to mention that she already has so many things that she has to worry about right now, I couldn't shock the life out of her by telling her that I like her brother. When I would tell her, I would need to be subtle, and make sure that she was sitting down.

Now that she was in the hospital wing, worrying about owls, getting attacked, and who knows what next. She is going to go insane sometime soon.

Tyler Moon came up and sat next to me, he said a quick hello then asked, "Do you know if Lily is alright?"

I opened my Astronomy book and turned to page 786, "I haven't personally really seen her since she's been dry," scrolling my finger down the page, "but I expect she's okay. She always seems to pull through; she's always been like that."

"Are you okay?" He asked me, putting his hand over my book, "I mean, with all of this happening to Lily and no one really noticing you…"

My book closed, and I held it steadily in my lap, "Well, to be truthfully honest, I don't know how I feel right now. It's a mix of emotions and it's a long story."

He smiled and said, "I'm all ears."

"It's just…" breath, "I don't know…" that wasn't the right way of saying it, "I've been Lily's friend for five years now and I have always been in her shadow. Her parents are famous, which makes her even more famous and… I just feel like… like I'm not good enough to be her friend." I finally admitted, was this the first step?

"Addie, anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend like you are to Lily. Maybe Lily is taking you a bit for granted, since she hasn't known any other friends." Tyler suggested, moving a little in his seat, "Maybe she's not noticing all that you do for her."

"Lily deserves better friends, cooler friends… not me." I moved towards my right more so that I didn't have to see Tyler's face. "Addie, if you don't think that you're cool, then you must have gone insane." He smiled, "You are an amazing friend and you are very fun to be around."

"Thanks Tyler," I leaned over the arm rest to give him a quick hug but then let go, "I just have been feeling underappreciated lately…"

He left with a wave and then I saw someone slowly coming down the aisle. Oh good god, it was Lily and Albus, I didn't think that she would be able to get Madam Pomfrey's approval to even listen to the game… but then again, she is Lillian Potter.

Al helped her in her seat and said, "I'll see you after the match," he looked towards me. Al opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, he looked glumly down at his sister again and then he left.

Then I concluded, "something looks different about Lily."

Her hair was still black, but her eyes had lost their sparkle. She still had skin, but she looked as though she was not comfortable in it anymore. She had her hands, but she now had an annoying habit of tapping her fingers on the arm rests. Her knee bounced up and down, she was very uneasy.

Then… I saw that Matt's necklace was gone. The Lily that I knew would have never taken it off, not even in the shower or for bed. Why would she take it off? Lily rubbed her neck as I thought about this, then it hit me… Alex.

"Hi," she said weakly to me.

She slept with someone.

How the hell could she not tell me that she slept with someone?! Guilty is written all over her face and she's been acting weird, well, that's what Al said anyways. Lily may have been "little miss princess" but she certainly was not herself sitting in that chair. But it irritated me the most that she would not tell me, she even said not to come to the hospital wing. Yes, my irrational fears but I've visited her once before and I didn't die.

She just had said, "I just want my family to see me." I know why now because they would have never expected this from, "little miss angel."

I felt a bubbling anger come up inside me, she could tell I was furious, so she tried to sway the subject, "Tyler came by to see me today, Tyler Moon, you know? And he kept on asking me all these questions about you," My eyebrow rose to her, I didn't think that Tyler Moon was considered family. Unless family really means, 'everyone except Addie,' "I think he likes you."

When was Lily going to learn that lying gets her no where? To top it all off, she was lying to her best friend. Or at least… I thought I was her best friend. We both knew full and well that the person that Tyler Moon liked was Lily, everyone in Hogwarts knew that. Through the corner of my eye, I saw Matt coming down the row, so I thought it was safe to say, "Well tell him I am not interested… I like someone else."

I turned and crossed my arms tightly before she could ask any questions.

. "Welcome boys and girls to the Championship match! Today we will be seeing Slytherin versus Gryffindor for the title of Champion. Now before we get going here I would like to inform you all on why this match was postponed." I heard Miles shout, "Yesterday, there was an attack on one of my fellow classmates, and the teachers needed to get to the bottom of things so the match was cancelled. But today, my fellow classmate is sitting somewhere in these seats as I speak. We are very lucky to have her with us."

I grunted angrily, which made Lily turn to me, but then she refocused her attention onto Matt.

They had their little conversations that I could not hear, it really irritated me when Lily would later tell me, "Oh it was nothing." When I knew she had been lying.

I booed loudly when the Slytherin team came onto the pitch.

"This year the Slytherin team has done quite well but has yet to beat the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so we'll see how they compete today," Miles said. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "And there goes the vivacious Felecia Foley, she is the lead Chaser for the Slytherin team."

I muttered, furiously, still a little steamed over our break up, "Has your obsession with Lily subsided, or were you the one that she was shacking up with the other night?"

"Excuse me?" Lily's teeth were gritted to show that she was angry.

Something came up from inside of me and said, "Oh you heard me, don't act all innocent, because I know what happened. I know that you are anything but innocent."

If I had ever said anything more shocking to Lily, then I must have forgotten, but by the look on her face, she was pissed off.

Then thankfully, to get her death glare off of me, Miles's voice came over the announcement again. "And here comes the Gryffindor Quidditch Team!"

The match started on time and Gryffindor was off on a rough start, they had lost the quaffle many times, but they made up in bludger hits.

Slytherin was winning by twenty when Lily gave a shout of, "Come on!" I didn't realize what had happened till I saw Alex Harper off balance and a bludger behind him.

Drip, drip, drip, it started to rain.

I could almost smell Al's scent of sweat and dirt that I loved so much. He blasted a bludger towards the Slytherin seeker, but grunted when he had missed by a few feet.

"Hey Potter, your sister made that exact same noise when her and I were shagging two nights ago!"

I looked around to see Alex Harper hovering over Al, who was looking to my right, not letting his eyes off of her. I stood up quickly and turned to Lily. "I knew it!" I shrieked, staring at the quiet spoken, cheater of a girlfriend, ex best friend of mine. I pointed that pudgy little finger of mine in her face, "I knew it when I saw that you didn't have your necklace on!"

I was almost in tears, how could she do such a thing to Matt? How could she not have told me first? Why didn't she want me in the room? And why with Alex?!

"I-I didn't mean to-"

I could feel my anger bubbling up inside me and my face went hot, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO?! YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HIM AND NOT MEAN TO HAVE DONE IT!"

Lily was on the verge of tears, she always seemed to be crying now a days, "I didn't mean to do it." She repeated as she let one tear fall, "I didn't want to."

Now everyone's eyes fell on Matt, he just whispered, "You didn't… you couldn't have…. No."

"I'm sorry," she was letting several tears fall now, "I'm so sorry."

With those last three words she vanished, and Gryffindor called for a time out. I scooted towards Matt, who was slumped down in his seat, keeping his face hidden. He covered his face with his hands and rested his elbows on his knees. I put my hand on his shoulder, and I said nothing, because no matter how hard anyone tried to console Matt, he would not be okay.

"Some words were spoken over by the Ravenclaw area, and I am getting word that Alex Harper had been talking about the possibility that he and Lillian Potter had a flame or something." Miles announced, I heard Matt say through his hands, "prick."

The buzz went quickly around the stadium and the time out was over. Matt's leg shook, it bounced up and down. Matt uncovered his hands from his face and he was a dark shade of red, while at the same time he looked pale and green. He got up from his seat and left quickly out of the row. "Matt!" I called after him, running so that I might have a chance to keep up with him.

I found him at a trash can that he was bending over and throwing up in, "Oh Matt," I said, going over to him. He lifted his head out of the trash bin and slowly slid down the wall that was next to the bin. "This isn't like Lily… she would never do that." Matt shook his head, his face flushed of most color.

Sliding down the wall next to him, I said quietly, "I don't really know who she is anymore… She has been so different."

"It isn't her," Matt repeated, "and I want to beat the shit out of Alex Harper."

I nodded without words, he hit his head against the wall, "How could I have been so stupid? She liked Alex, that's why she didn't tell anyone… I bet she gave herself those bruises to get attention and blamed it on Alex… then he tricked her into sleeping with him…"

"Matt, you know that she didn't do that to herself, and you know full well that Lily loves you and not Alex," I tried to tell him, but he just murmured, "It's hard to tell now a days, if you know what I mean."

Right then, Mary Flint came running past us, glancing at us first then stopping. "Do you know where Lily is?" She asked with genuine concern.

"I don't know, and I don't care," Matt muttered angrily to my right.

"I think she went back to the hospital wing, but what's it to you? I thought you hated everyone besides Slytherins?" I asked her, I knew that Lily had talked nicely of her a few times…

"I don't hate everyone, I'm not like the Malfoys and Harpers," Mary defended, seeming hurt by my comment, "I am not the heartless bitch that you believe me to be." Her eyes found Matt and she opened her mouth to speak, but it took her a while to form the words, "I'm sorry for all those years ago… for starting all of this, I was stupid then, and I didn't mean for it to get this far."

"Don't blame yourself, Lily did what she did because she wanted to do it," Matt mumbled, looking that funny green color again.

Mary frowned and said, "No, she didn't want to. I can't say anymore… but I wish I could, just wait for Lily to talk to you… before you hate her." Mary ran out of the stadium and she became a distant blur.

"He makes me sick," Matt said, quietly after several minutes passed, "just thinking about them… it just makes me want to throw up."

"I couldn't tell," I told him, looking at the trash can, "but we shouldn't think about it… we might just get angrier, and that would do us no good."

We sat there until the match ended, Gryffindor won by an amazing 280 points, thanks to Al injuring about half of the Quidditch team, including the Keeper. One that he hadn't got was Alex Harper, who had evidently been very hard to hit.

I followed Matt down the hallway, he hadn't said a word, then he was gaining speed. His hand made a tight fist and it drew back, before I could see who he was aiming his fist at, he struck. "Matt! No!" I screamed, running up to him.

Before I could grab onto him, he struck the figure again, "Stop it, stop it!" I screamed out, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him back. "Addie, let go of me, he deserves this!" Matt yelled, his rage at the highest that it's ever been.

Several people had gathered around the area, "Matt, stop!" He broke free of my grip and he started pounding on the boy that was now on the floor. "MATT!" I screamed in desperation, I couldn't get him off of the boy, he just kept on hitting him. "You don't like getting hit back do you?" Matt yelled in a half deranged voice. "Stop this Matt, it isn't funny!" I was almost able to yank him off of the boy but he grabbed onto the boy so hard that he almost lifted him off of the ground.

With one last pull, I yanked Matt off of the boy; I turned Matt away from the boy, to see that he had been hitting Alex Harper. Alex was now bleeding from several places, "Matt, what the hell were you thinking?!" I asked turning away from all of the blood and almost pushing him from the scene.

"You better hope to god that she's alright, or you'll have worse coming to you Harper! I'll be sure no one else is around." Matt threatened.

"Have you gone mad?!" I pushed him all the way down the corridor, "You will get in so much trouble!"

"I don't give a damn," Matt told me, his steam still coming off, "No one has been able to find Lily and it's been hours."

"We'll find her," I assured him, not really knowing myself.

"I'm not going to wait around and find out that she's gone and killed herself somewhere-" Matt's face drained of all its color… he knew something, without another word he left me in the hallway.

I found a friendly red haired boy walking down the hall, "Hugo," I called for him, he came up the stairs and said, "Hey, what are you doing out so late?"

"I need you to get Al for me," I told him seriously, my eyes threatening to let the tears fall.

"Sure thing, are you okay?" He asked, looking at my eyes.

"Just get me Albus."

He went into the portrait and Al came out two minutes later, he looked into my eyes at once and he asked, "What's wrong?"

"I think Lily is in trouble… I don't know how, but no one can find her at all and she hasn't shown up and when I said something to Matt about her then he went and left me and I don't know what to do and I'm scared and I think that she may have done something drastic." He put his arms around my shoulders and I put my arms around his waist, finally letting the tears fall onto his chest.

"We'll find her…" he told me, his voice shaken.

Then, throughout all of Hogwarts, there was a sound of a high pitched, eerie, scream.

* * *

_I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday.  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.  
- Nobody's Home (Listen to this song while thinking of Addie and Lily)_

* * *

_I hope some of you caught the irony of some of the situations, but uhmmm, yeah. Please Review and that's about it...._


	33. A Confession

_Please Review :)_

***Alex* **

I buttoned my shirt up to start the day, and put on my pants. This was how normal days went… but this particular day, was what you would count as, special. I had become a man last night, I wasn't very proud of it, but I had become one. I took out my wand and aimed it at the girl lying on the floor, muttering an incantation. She then closed her eyes, but to my surprise, I had a visitor. She came up and out of a stall for which she had been in for this whole time and she had a smug look on her face.

"Well Alex Harper is a naughty little boy isn't he, for doing that to Miss Potter." Myrtle teased me, "and she wasn't very good at it, was she?"

I ignored the floating being and picked Lily up carefully, as if not to damage her anymore. "Her screams were dreadful, weren't they? She kept on moaning and she kept on screaming," Myrtle took a huge breath and made an ugly face, "'Stop it!' 'It hurts!" what a pathetic little whore-"

"Don't say that," I could feel my blood pulsing, coursing through my very veins. "Don't say that about her."

Myrtle raised an eyebrow, "feeling sorry for what you did to her, aren't you Alex?"

I ignored this question and placed Lily gently in the tub. I made sure the plug was not closed and I turned on the faucets.

"You know what you did was wrong, you know that Lily is just a little slut just like her mother when she was younger," Myrtle teased, "You know that she has been going around with another guy other than you, yet you still do this to her-"

"Shut up!" I yelled, covering my ears from the torture.

"Lily never loved you, she's always loved Matthew Perks, and you need to accept that. She loves someone else; you can't love even, not until you've loved yourself. Right now, you don't love yourself, in fact you hate yourself for doing that to her." Myrtle nodded towards where I had become a man.

"Be gone!"

"You can't order me around like little Lily Potter over there, and if you try and hit me, I won't feel it. Unlike Potter over there, who has felt many of your beatings." Myrtle glided over me and sat on the top of the ceiling, "You can't do anything to change this now."

With that, I left her in the bathroom, reclosing the portrait and sound proofing it. "There," I placed my wand back into my pocket and I walked down to the common room where Mary Flint sat on the couch, tapping her foot on the carpet. "Where the hell have you been?" She inquired, examining me from head to toe, looking at my wrinkled clothes to my messy hair.

"I gave Mrs. Norris a fright and she chased me down the hall into a closet till she finally let me be," I lied, and I knew that this lie would not work, not on Mary anyways.

"Stop lying, I know you did something," She got up from the couch and came closer to me. Mary made me stand still and she smelled me. Her eyes went wide and she looked up at my eyes, "tell me you didn't. Please tell me that what I am thinking is not true. You didn't… with her, did you?"

"The imagination can do its own work Flint, and I suggest your abnormally large nose should stay out of this, we don't need other people interfering with our love." I tried to get past her but she yanked onto my arm, pulling me off balance.

"What do you mean your love? She has screamed and ran away from you before, hiding behind me so that you wouldn't hurt her!" She yelled at me, in a deadly whisper.

"I vaguely remember that," I told her loosely.

"Lily loves Matt," Mary concluded, "everyone knows that, and you have to accept that and stop beating her, she doesn't need this, especially not now."

"What do you give a damn about a Potter? Huh? Have you grown fond of her, shall I tell the others how you've been defending her?" I protested, moving towards her now.

"I found out that not all people that are associating themselves with non-purebloods are not all that terrible people," She huffed, "It might do you some good to actually talk to Lily once instead of beating her to death-"

"I would never kill Lily," I snapped, she looked surprised at the tone that I used with her, "I would never kill Potter, and she just seems to be the only one that will put up with me."

"Because she's weak and doesn't know any better, you're killing her on the inside Alex, have you seen her lately? All ragged and tired and she's going to make herself ill one of these days-"

"Stop it," I covered my ears, as if to mush my brain with only my two hands. I ignored what she said next, "You've killed Lillian Potter by doing this to her, you have ruined her life."

I tried to get her out of my head and run away but I knew she would continue this conversation and then people would be up and they might overhear.

"You murdered her soul," Mary told me, "can you live with that?"

I repeated what I had told her before.

"I think it is secretly killing you on the inside too Alex, I think you don't like what you're doing but the only reason why you're doing it is because you feel like you need to be more powerful than someone else." My hands could not stop the words that Mary said, "You put her on that diet knowing that she would do anything for you if it meant that you wouldn't hurt her. You knew that she would go to any lengths to make you happy just so that she wouldn't have that pain. You knew that by making her anorexic that you were weakening her and that meant that she would be weaker than you and you could beat her up and she wouldn't be able to fight you back!" Mary's voice was slowly rising, "You knew that she would give up and just do whatever you want, which lead to tonight, which could lead to a pregnancy, ever think of that Alex? Do you want to be a father? Do you want to have that responsibility? Do you want her to die and suffer because you have emotional problems that you can't handle yourself?!"

She was almost screaming and a light turned on from upstairs. She had woken someone up, I went and dove under the couch and she sat heavily on it, grabbing a book.

"What in Saint Slytherin's name are you doing down here?" Asked a drowsy Natalia Nott, who had barely half of her eyelids open, "Who the devil are you screaming at?"

"I wasn't screaming," Mary said quiet convincingly, loudly flipping a page in the book, "It was a page in the book, see it's for Care of Magical Creatures, one of the third years must have left it down here and I thought it was my book, but it wasn't… it took a long time to finally shut the book though."

Natalia raised an eyebrow and shrugged, mumbling her way back upstairs to the girl's dormitories. Mary stomped her foot onto my hand, making me bite my lip as I grunted.

"You better sort out your life before I'm forced to do something drastic," she told me, and then she followed Natalia up the stairs without another word.

I dragged myself upstairs, not realizing how tired I really was till now, I plopped myself on my bed and I had was woken up no less than an hour later by my roommate Reichard, who told me that I had been mumbling something in my sleep. I dreamed only about Lily's screams, I could only hear them, but not see her. The way that she was being tortured…

Reichard told me that I looked pale, but I shrugged him off and we went to the Great Hall together. We were greeted by several boos and cheers, we made our way over to the table where I was forced to sit next to Mary, who looked as though she would stab me in the hand with her fork as she did with her foot last night.

"Did you sleep well?" Mary asked me with her teeth gritted.

"I slept fine, no need to ask how you slept, with all your screaming in the common room." I snapped.

"Wait, how did you know it was her if you were in bed?" Reichard looked suspiciously at me and I heard hissing and booing coming from our table. A Gryffindor Quidditch player had come in, I looked and it was Albus Potter with Adeline Abraham. Why were they entering the great hall together?

I felt the need to say something otherwise I would have to tell why I was out of bed, "Retaking the fifth year Potter? You that dumb?" I shouted as loud as I could so that he could hear me, he glared in my direction then turned to a Ravenclaw girl who had once snogged Matthew Perks in the Ravenclaw common room.

An owl landed near me, but I saw that it belonged to Albus Potter, his owl had gotten very much lost and confused. I took the note from the owl and it flew off to the owlry. I opened the note in secret as everyone else dug into their food. It read:

_Albus,  
__We know that you stole my invisibility cloak; this is not a funny prank. No matter what your older brother says, I need it back. You know that my job is much harder when people can see me coming because they know of me and my profession. Albus, send us back the cloak right when you get this letter because this is not funny._

_Signed,  
__Dad_

I pocketed the note and Reichard looked back up at me.

"Nice one, I don't believe those people, can you?" Reichard said, "I mean, they are so pureblood that it almost disgraces us, don't you think?"

"I hate them too," I lied, Mary stabbed at her eggs and said, "Well I thought that you were quite fond of Lillian Potter, since you sit by her in potions…"

"You sit by Potter in potions?" Questioned Reichard, looking at me now for his answer, "Don't you choose where you sit in potions? We could."

"Yes, we got to choose where we sat," Mary said quickly before I could lie again, "and he was one of the last ones to sit down."

"Well, why did you sit by the little she-Potter? Isn't she the enemy?" Reichard asked, watching me skeptically.

"She isn't the enemy, she isn't like the rest of them… she's different." I told him, shoving some toast into my mouth.

"How is that blood traitor any different from her brothers? Huh?" He demanded, almost splattering sausage all over his plate.

"Don't call her that, she isn't like those arrogant arses, she actually cares about things, like reading and she has got a quick wit." I defended, being quiet so no one else could hear me utter the words.

"I cannot believe it; you have actually gotten along with a Potter, a girl Potter none the less. I mean she isn't that bad to look at, but she isn't the healthiest thing either. She's skin and bones and it's a bit creepy that she has no weight to her." Reichard looked at me carefully as he spoke.

"You think I fancy Potter?" I asked, trying to sound disgusted. He looked at me meaningfully and said, "Do I think that all Potters are scum?"

I got up from my seat and pushed my plate away, "I don't have to take this, thanks a lot Flint," I muttered, walking back down the common room where I would find my warm bed again and I accidentally fell asleep.

I was woken up by a bright light shining in my face, Reichard's lamp right by my nose. "It's tomorrow you sleepy bum, now get out of bed."

"What do you mean? What about the match?" I rubbed my eyes hard, trying to forget my nightmare that seemed like it lasted forever.

"It got postponed you idiot, how long have you been sleeping in here?" The voice asked.

"Could you get that damn light out of my eyes?"

"Sorry, but you didn't answer my question."

"Since breakfast, why?"

"Well, it's breakfast now, but a day after you went to bed, did you really sleep for twenty four hours?" He asked amazed.

"I guess so," I turned my side and curled up with the pillow, not wanting to leave my bed.

"Well the game got cancelled because your little lover got hurt," Reichard told me, I sat up straight in bed, giving myself a head rush and asked, "what do you mean?"

"Lillian Potter was found almost dead in the prefect's bathroom by her stupid brother," Reichard informed me vaguely, "but he seems pretty off, so he might play worse today, isn't that great?"

"Uhhh… yeah." I muttered, thanking to god that I had placed that spell upon her.

"Say, what do you think would get Potter off even more, during the game? Like what's something we could tell him that absolutely no one would expect and he'd just play like the worthless piece he is." Reichard sat on the end of my bed.

"I dunno…"

"Well think of something before tonight so that we can win, okay, we need Potter as distracted as he can be so that we can win tonight, do it for the team," Reichard pulled me out of bed and we had a crappy day until it finally came to match time.

I was about ready to mount my broom when Scorpius Malfoy came up to me to pat me on the shoulder, "So who was the lucky girl that you shacked up with?"

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." I told him, trying to play dumb.

"Oh come on, your smart ass smile has grown even wider since I last saw you, so who was it?" Scorpius was my mentor throughout all of my years at Hogwarts, he was kind of like my hero, but I could never tell him the truth… yet if I lied, he would surely know.

The doors opened up so that we could fly out to the pitch and I told him, "Lily Potter." His jaw dropped to the floor when I uttered the words, but he said nothing. I mounted my broom and flew onto the pitch, followed quickly by my mentor and captain. We heard thunderous cheers coming from the stands, and the weak Gryffindor supporters who were no match for our fans. "We'll talk about that later," Scorpius's teeth did not unclench as he spoke.

"This year the Slytherin team has done quite well but has yet to beat the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so we'll see how they compete today," Miles Goldstein of Hufflepuff said, "And there goes the vivacious Felecia Foley, she is the lead Chaser for the Slytherin team."

Felecia made a rude hand gesture towards Miles and soared past the tall towers.

"And here comes the Gryffindor Quidditch Team!" Miles announced loudly, his voice echoing through the stands.

Scorpius dismounted and went to go shake Albus's hand, but it seemed as if the two were not unfriendly with each other. They might have even been… smiling?

Madam Hooch's voice was loud and clear, "I want a clean game! No exceptions for anyone!" She looked over at our team. "On my whistle!"

Then we were off, zooming through the air like wind. I felt as if nothing could stop me, with my bat in my grip I could do anything… except touch the ground of course.

"Hit Potter!" Shouted Reichard, but I found a bludger right about to hit me, coming from Albus's direction, I hit the bludger but I didn't hit anything. Reichard shook his head and flew to go steal the quaffle from the Gryffindor chaser.

Gryffindor was winning by twenty when I was flying near Albus… we needed him to be off of his game… we needed him to mess up… We needed to fulfill my plan from a long time ago.

Albus had just hit a bludger, making him make a loud noise that I had been having nightmares about.

"Hey Potter, your sister made that exact same noise when her and I were shagging two nights ago!" I was careful not to say, "When I shagged…"

Albus Potter looked dumbfounded, absolutely dumbfounded, he looked as though he wanted to kill me, but at the same time he looked in the stands for confirmation if this was true or not. I had accidentally said it in front of the whole Ravenclaw crowd…

I heard a loud voice from the stands, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO?! YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HIM AND NOT MEAN TO HAVE DONE IT!" Adeline Abraham, otherwise known as Addie but I never called her by her nickname. I never thought that it was appropriate to call her Addie. I knew that I had officially ruined Lily's life. Matthew Perks sat in his seat and I saw the color in his face go green.

I could feel Lily's world come to a complete stop and have a mental breakdown.

The worst feeling came over me and I felt so bad that I wanted to take the past few days back, even minutes if I could… I had to talk to Lily; I needed to tell her I was sorry… for everything that I've done.

"Some words were spoken over by the Ravenclaw area, and I am getting word that Alex Harper had been talking about the possibility that he and Lillian Potter had a flame or something." Miles Goldstein announced loudly, the crowds were now buzzing with gossip. I had never really been the center of attention in gossip, but it felt really bad to be the center of attention for this kind of thing. I looked up towards the teachers and professor McGonagall was running out of her seat and down the stairs.

For the rest of the game I had to dodge over 40 bludgers that were all aimed at my head, hoping that I would be knocked off and have a concussion or something. We lost by an embarrassing two hundred and eighty points, since our Keeper had gotten a bludger to the gut and our seeker was sure to be on his way to the hospital wing by now.

By the time I had gotten into the locker room the only one sitting on the bench was Scorpius, he was ready to go, but he had obviously been waiting for me to get in there so that he could yell at me for ruining his final season of Quidditch by losing to a furious Albus Potter.

"Why the hell did you go and pull that? Huh? Why did you go and get Potter mad? Did you ever notice that you two play the same position but he is stronger and is better at aiming than you are!" Scorpius yelled, hitting a fist on one of the lockers.

I took off my gear and said dully, "Reichard thought that it would throw him off of his game, but obviously, it only strengthened his anger. Hence all of our injured teammates."

"Reichard is an idiot, you know that? And he was surprised when you said that too! I talked to him as he was heading down to the hospital wing with a bludger sized bruise on his arm. He said that you were pretty convincing too… but he didn't know that you weren't kidding. Which means that you never told him exactly what you were going to say and because of your big mouth, we lost the championship" Scorpius yelled, his voice booming off of the lockers. "For the love of god, why did you sleep with Lillian Potter?"

"Have you never seen her?" I questioned.

"Do not change the subject, to answer your question, yes I have seen her around school, it's hard not to see her around school with all the things that people say about her. And Rose always talks about her, even though she hardly even talks to her cousin anymore. Now why did you sleep with her, you're only fifteen."

"I turned sixteen actually," I told him with my teeth gritted, "and I don't like to be talked to as if I'm a baby in a grown situation."

"If you won't answer that question then fine, how did you get her to sleep with you? Did you give her a love potion or something? Did you spike her pumpkin juice in the morning? Did you give her firewhisky illegally? Then again, she is only fifteen…" Scorpius's eyes were aflame with rage.

"I just did."

"You're meaning to tell me that Lillian Potter just threw herself at you and said, 'I want you Alex, and I want you now.' Do I look like an idiot to you?" He looked as if he wanted to throw something at me.

"No sir, you don't look like an idiot to me… but if I tell you, then you have to not say anything." I told him, I was being dead serious.

"Fine, I won't tell anyone."

"Not even Rose."

"Not even Rose."

"Well, she didn't really want to sleep with me… so I kind of…" Scorpius's eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. "Tell me you didn't do what I think you did."

"What do you think I did?"

"You couldn't have been that stupid to do something illegal just to get a girl to sleep with you, would you?"

"I didn't say that I don't regret doing it but…"

"You are that stupid," Scorpius put her head in his hands, "God damn it Alex, you have gotten yourself into some deep shit now. How could you have raped her?"

"If you put it like that then it sounds bad…"

"BECAUSE IT IS BAD!" Scorpius yelled, "Alex, you have no idea what you've done. You'll be going to Azkaban for this! You'll be there for a long time. Do you realize how many years of counseling that Lily will have to endure? Do you ever think to weigh out your options in this? Do you realize that her dad will murder your parents of every galleon that they are worth? Did you even think about if she were to get pregnant?"

"I know my consequences." I told him, "and if she were to get pregnant… well then the connection between us would be stronger and then maybe she would love me…"

"You aren't seriously wishing for a teen pregnancy, because that is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard, do you know how much she would hate you? Do you realize what you've really done to her? Do you care about her at all because you're hoping that a baby becomes of this when she really doesn't love you, she loves someone else." Scorpius snapped furious, getting up and pushing his index finger into my chest with each word he spoke. "You better hope to god that she doesn't get pregnant or you will be murdered."

Scorpius gave me an earful for the next hour, screaming in my face, yelling that I deserved to be screamed at for all of the stupid things that I had done and I should be getting a beating from one of the Potter boys.

I went to the castle alone, I knew that it wasn't the safest thing to do, considering all of the people that hated me, but I wasn't mugged or anything.

On my way down the corridor, I heard fast footsteps from behind me. Before I could turn around and focus my eyes on the blurred figure I got punched in the face. "Matt! No!" someone screamed, I heard more footsteps.

The person screamed, "Stop it, stop it!" But Matthew Perks was giving me exactly what I deserved. I never knew that he could hit so hard, and if I were to lie and say that they didn't hurt I would be very, very misleading. He was somehow being pulled back, I was now flat on the floor because of him, I heard his voice yell, "Addie, let go of me, he deserves this!"

I could tell from the corner of my eye that people had now gathered around to see me get pelted on by a Ravenclaw, "Matt, stop!" He broke free of Adeline and started hitting me again, only this time he aimed less for my stomach and more for my face, making sure that I was getting lots of pain "MATT!" someone screamed.

"You don't like getting hit back do you?" Matthew yelled in a half deranged voice. "Stop this Matt, it isn't funny!" I felt myself being lifted up but then I was thrown back down to the ground. Then his hands were not longer beating on my face.

I could feel the blood slowly dripping from my nose and down to the floor, I heard Adeline yell, "Matt, what the hell were you thinking?!" Their footsteps were going away.

"You better hope to god that she's alright, or you'll have worse coming to you Harper! I'll be sure no one else is around." Matthew Perks bellowed to me, his voice sounding quite furious.

"Have you gone mad?!" I could distantly hear Adeline's voice say, "You will get in so much trouble!"

"I don't give a damn," Was the last thing I heard Matthew Perks say, I knew he had been waiting to do that since the day that he had found out about what Lily and I did. It was even more apparent the one day that he pulled Lily and I apart in the library.

No one in the crowd had stayed, the all left but I still heard something moving… A sobbing noise… coming from… beside me. I felt a hand place on my heart, but I saw nothing. I recognized the sobs. Lily.

I looked at the thin air with such meaning and I whispered, "I'm sorry."

She did not say anything, but she just collapsed onto my chest and started to bawl. I could feel her right beside me, I could feel her wrapping her arms around my waist. Then, she took off the invisibility cloak, her blotchy, soaked face looked at me with so many tears in her eyes.

Then, she slowly cleaned up all of my bruises and fixed my broken nose. When she was done, her hand gently stroked my cheek. She put her finger to my lips and whispered, "no one can know about this." Then as lightly as she could, she leaned over me, and she softly kissed my lips. Her lips were moist and tender, when she pulled away once, she came back again, only this time, she opened her mouth just ever so slightly. Her lips were massaging my bottom lip, till then her tongue slowly slid its way into my mouth. Our tongues played with the others, when she put her tongue back into her mouth she placed little kisses onto my lips until she stopped kissing me.

Her eyes searched mine and she whispered, "That's for you, and for you only." I stared at her amazing lips that now spoke words in only whispers, "now please go and do the right thing. It would mean the world to me."

Then with those words she was gone, she had put the cloak back on and left me to lay there. I slowly got up and headed forward. I climbed up the stairs after seeing an eagle, and I knocked on the door. "Come in," said a voice with so much calmness.

I entered the room and said, "Professor, we need to talk."

"I was expecting you, Mr. Harper, come into my office." McGonagall told me.

"I've done something terribly wrong," I told her, waiting for a response, but she just sat in her high chair and gazed at me.

I heard a high pitched scream that I had come to hear so much in my nightmares… I heard it so many times before… I knew something had gone wrong… So I had to tell her now...

"I raped Lillian Potter."

_0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0_

_Lots and Lots to talk about! :)  
New perspectives on what has happened.  
You never thought that you would see a chapter like this, would you?  
I put the story in the hands of Alex Harper, and most of you said that you hated him. I still stand by what I had said all along, I love the character Alex, I just don't always agree with his decisions. There is so much in this chapter, there are over 5,000 words on this sucker and if I would have gone into detail about his day and all that then you would have to read about twice as many words which I clearly do not want to write.  
I'm excited on what you all think about this chapter, please do not leave any details out about what you thought! Please be nice reviewers and tell me also what I could have improved on and what I did right.  
And also I expect lots of you to be upset about the kiss.... but I don't regret it much. It's needed in the story :) And how many of you saw that coming that she was there and saw him get beat up? This caused Lily to get upset with Matt because he had hit someone which could have potentially hurt Matt._

_Thank you very much for reading!_

_P.S. Wasn't everyone else so excited when this story got the little scrolly thing?! Cause I know I was :) (sorry for that random outburst of happiness)_


	34. Past Papers

**_Please Review_**

***Mary***

I sat up waiting for him, he hadn't come back from dinner and no one had known where he had run off to after dinner had been let out. My foot tapped nervously on the rug yet another time, up and down, in a repeated motion. I may be cunning but I am not that cunning.

Then I heard the portrait hole swing open, the first thing I could ask was, "Where the hell have you been?"

I noticed his hair was unkempt and messy, his clothes were wrinkled, and he smelled different than normal…

"I gave Mrs. Norris a fright and she chased me down the hall into a closet till she finally let me be," This was the worst lie that he could have possibly come up with.

"Stop lying, I know you did something," I stood up and moved towards him, he definitely smelt like sweat, and a sweet smelling fruit that I had somewhere smelt before in passing, I couldn't remember the smell until I remember where I had first smelt it… when Lillian Potter's compartment door opened in first year, that smell came to my nose quickly. I stared at his eyes and pleaded, "Tell me you didn't. Please tell me that what I am thinking is not true. You didn't… with her, did you?"

"The imagination can do its own work Flint, and I suggest your abnormally large nose should stay out of this, we don't need other people interfering with our love." I pulled hard onto his arm so that he could not escape.

"What do you mean your love? She has screamed and ran away from you before, hiding behind me so that you wouldn't hurt her!" I was as stern as I could be at five thirty in the morning.

"I vaguely remember that," He told me, as if he had something better to do.

"Lily loves Matt," I concluded, "everyone knows that, and you have to accept that and stop beating her, she doesn't need this, especially not now."

"What do you give a damn about a Potter? Huh? Have you grown fond of her, shall I tell the others how you've been defending her?" He stepped closer towards me.

"I found out that not all people that are associating themselves with non-purebloods are not all that terrible people," I snapped angrily, "It might do you some good to actually talk to Lily once instead of beating her to death-"

"I would never kill Lily," I gave him a meaningful look that he probably misread, "I would never kill Potter, and she just seems to be the only one that will put up with me."

"Because she's weak and doesn't know any better, you're killing her on the inside Alex, have you seen her lately? All ragged and tired and she's going to make herself ill one of these days-"

"Stop it," He covered his ears like a little child and pretended not to hear what I had to say.

"You've killed Lillian Potter by doing this to her, you have ruined her life."

He said nothing.

"You murdered her soul," I whispered, "can you live with that?"

"Stop it," he repeated quietly.

"I think it is secretly killing you on the inside too Alex, I think you don't like what you're doing but the only reason why you're doing it is because you feel like you need to be more powerful than someone else." I felt almost as though I was taunting him on the playground, "You put her on that diet knowing that she would do anything for you if it meant that you wouldn't hurt her. You knew that she would go to any lengths to make you happy just so that she wouldn't have that pain. You knew that by making her anorexic that you were weakening her and that meant that she would be weaker than you and you could beat her up and she wouldn't be able to fight you back!" I could feel the temperature and the loudness of my voice rising, "You knew that she would give up and just do whatever you want, which lead to tonight, which could lead to a pregnancy, ever think of that Alex? Do you want to be a father? Do you want to have that responsibility? Do you want her to die and suffer because you have emotional problems that you can't handle yourself?!"

A light turned on from upstairs. He dove under the couch like the coward he is, so I slammed my butt down onto the couch, grabbing a book as a prop for my lie.

"What in Saint Slytherin's name are you doing down here?" Asked a drowsy Natalia Nott, who had barely half of her eyelids open, "Who the devil are you screaming at?"

"I wasn't screaming," I flipped a page in the book that said "Number One, Compliment Her Efforts", I had evidentially picked up, 'Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches' great, like I wanted to be caught dead with this book. "It was a page in the book, see it's for Care of Magical Creatures, one of the third years must have left it down here and I thought it was my book, but it wasn't… it took a long time to finally shut the book though."

Natalia raised an eyebrow and shrugged, mumbling her way back upstairs to the girl's dormitories. I smashed Alex's hand with my foot, causing him to grunt out in pain.

"You better sort out your life before I'm forced to do something drastic," I warned, then I headed silently up the stairs to collapse on my bed from a long day of nothingness.

I slowly dragged myself out of bed and somehow made it all the way to breakfast without forgetting something. I picked one of the closer spots to the door and I first grabbed a piece of toast for myself. I heard people cheering loudly at our table so when I looked to see who it had been, it was Alex and Tommy Reichard coming down to sit by me.

"Did you sleep well?" I did not take my eyes off of him.

"I slept fine, no need to ask how you slept, with all your screaming in the common room." He was bitter this morning.

"Wait, how did you know it was her if you were in bed?" Tommy looked suspiciously at Alex but their eye contact was no longer when they heard that a Gryffindor Quidditch Player had entered the Great Hall; it was Albus Potter with Adeline Abraham. The question on everyone's mind was; why were they entering the great hall together?

"Retaking the fifth year Potter? You that dumb?" Alex shouted across the Great Hall.

"Nice one, I don't believe those people, can you?" Tommy laughed, "I mean, they are so pureblood that it almost disgraces us, don't you think?"

"I hate them too," I gave a jab to my eggs and added snappily, "Well I thought that you were quite fond of Lillian Potter, since you sit by her in potions…"

"You sit by Potter in potions?" Tommy looked towards Alex for his answer, because I had gotten him into this mess, "Don't you choose where you sit in potions? We could."

"Yes, we got to choose where we sat," I said, hoping that he would confess something, "and he was one of the last ones to sit down."

"Well, why did you sit by the little she-Potter? Isn't she the enemy?" Tommy asked.

"She isn't the enemy, she isn't like the rest of them… she's different."

"How is that blood traitor any different from her brothers? Huh?"

"Don't call her that, she isn't like those arrogant arses, she actually cares about things, like reading and she has got a quick wit." Alex snapped furiously.

"I cannot believe it; you have actually gotten along with a Potter, a girl Potter none the less. I mean she isn't that bad to look at, but she isn't the healthiest thing either. She's skin and bones and it's a bit creepy that she has no weight to her." Tommy was also trying to get some information from Alex. Since he had been withdrawing more and more from us these past few weeks, we felt like we hardly knew him.

"You think I fancy Potter?"

"Do I think that all Potters are scum?"

Alex got up from the bench and pushed his plate away, "I don't have to take this, thanks a lot Flint," he added nastily to me, then with his last huff, he left the Great Hall in an even more bitter mood.

I spent the rest of my time in the library, looking up old newspapers for some interesting things, while also cramming for my O.W.L.s.

This is where I spent my time for the next day until it came to the match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. I may not be an avid fan of Quidditch, but I deserve a study break every now and then too.

Unfortunately, my timing had never really been the best, so with my luck, I got to the match an hour late. Just in time to hear Miles Goldstein announce, "Some words were spoken over by the Ravenclaw area, and I am getting word that Alex Harper had been talking about the possibility that he and Lillian Potter had a flame or something."

Right then, the buzz came to my ears as it filled the Slytherin crowd.

"What a whore! I knew she wanted to get into his pants-"

"Why would he go for a girl like that? If anything, he should have gone for me!"

"Way to go Potter and Harper!"

"Harper became a man?!"

"I knew that Lillian Potter was up to nothing but trouble."

"Just think what their kids would look like, anorexic, pale, and weak."

"I cannot believe that she would climb into bed with him! I mean I am way more prettier than she is!"

"I wonder how she agreed… then again, if Perks wasn't giving out then she must have gone to the next bed over."

"Well obviously Matthew Perks is too much of a goodie two shoes to do anything like sex, so she had to supply her needs somewhere else, right?"

"Maybe Matthew agreed to it, so that she could have her little sex buddy or something…"

"Lily must like things small…"

I ran out of the bleachers and around to where Lily was supposedly sitting but I ran into Matthew Perks and Addie Abraham.

I stopped and asked almost out of breath, "Do you know where Lily is?"

"I don't know, and I don't care," Matthew muttered furiously, not looking up at me and he had his arms crossed.

"I think she went back to the hospital wing, but what's it to you? I thought you hated everyone besides Slytherins?" Addie snapped angrily; the typical anti-Slytherin person.

"I don't hate everyone, I'm not like the Malfoys and Harpers," I said dignified, "I am not the heartless bitch that you believe me to be." My eyes found Matt and when I spoke, I spoke in a whisper, "I'm sorry for all those years ago… for starting all of this, I was stupid then, and I didn't mean for it to get this far."

"Don't blame yourself, Lily did what she did because she wanted to do it," Matt had turned a pale-green color that did not look good on him.

I frowned and told them, "No, she didn't want to. I can't say anymore… but I wish I could, just wait for Lily to talk to you… before you hate her." Before I could tell any more of Lily's secrets I left the stadium to go find her.

In the end I just gave up and went back to the library to study, since after all, Owls were in two days. I found that a gloomy Ravenclaw had taken up my table. I coughed loudly and said, "There is nowhere else to sit but here, and I was here first, so move."

"There's more than one chair you know," he told me; I had recognized him from Potions and Flying Lessons in first year.

"Why are you so bummed?" I asked him, pulling the seat diagonal from him so that we would both have maximum space for studying.

He sighed and looked up towards me, "I stand up for her and get a black eye, she doesn't notice, I kiss her on the cheek, she says nothing, I almost tell her how I feel, and she goes and sleeps with someone!"

"You're talking about Lily Potter, I'm guessing," I asked, he just gave a glum nod.

"What's your name again?"

"Tyler Moon."

"Do you want to know my name?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Well it might, if you cared."

He raised an eyebrow up to me and said nothing besides shrugging sadly.

"Haven't you been friends with Matthew Perks for the longest time?" I asked him, he gave another sad nod. "And you've been keeping in your likings for Lily around him?"

"Not really, they sometimes just burst out and then I leave the room… It's not like anyone notices me…"

"I'm noticing you."

He looked up at me strangely and tilted his head, he finally saw my Slytherin tie loosely undone. "Sorry that you lost the match," he coughed.

I made a little blush, and I coughed too, "Uh, yeah, shame, I mean, damn." He let out a quiet laugh so that he would not get yelled at. I took an old newspaper off of its rack and examined it. Then my eyes found "Derrick Harper Arrested."

Tyler looked at me and asked in a high nervous voice, "Do we have to review current events?!"

I didn't respond because my eyes were slowly trying to process every word that was written.

"_Derrick Harper was arrested last night when it was found that he had physically abused both his wife and five-year-old son. Derrick's wife will not give us a comment but it is also reported that he had molested his own son. Derrick will have a hearing next Monday for his future. Little five year old son, Alex said that he did not want his daddy back home, not after what he had done."_

Everyone in the library heard a terrible scream echo throughout the room, although it came from outside.

"Oh my god," I said staring at the paper in awe.

"That sounded like Lily," Tyler said concerned, I hadn't noticed the voice before until Tyler had said something about it… but now it made me think.

"It did." I concluded, folding up the paper.

_A little love in the library, no?  
Ha ha ha, just kidding.  
Anyways, I put my thinking into parts so that you can remember them and I will see them in your reviews :) hopefully._

_1. I'm sorry that this chapter was really rushed and I just wanted to get this over with so that I could get to the much anticipated Albus's perspective. :) Then we will find out what really happened to Lily. Muahhhhaaa.  
2. I put up a new poll, concerning this story, it is where you want the first setting to be in the sequel. I'm trying not to give too much away but I want to start it now instead of all of this... bleh stuff. So go vote because whatever wins will be what I choose for the first setting!  
3. Also, speaking of the sequel, I'm still struggling on a name, but that wasn't what this section was suppose to be about. Oh! I remember now, I need your help to make this next story original and really fan-styled. I would like you to give me one or two quotes (but I will only pick one) to put into my story. It can be the weirdest thing ever that you want one of the characters to say. You can say which character you would like to see say it, but ultimately I will decide where it fits best in my story. But I want everyone to give me a quote to put into the story and I will give you credit for that one line. I'm going to make a list once I get started on this project. I just want my readers to be involved with my writing almost as much as I am. Please make the quotes as funny as you can, because I want to laugh my butt of reading them!  
4. If you have any suggestions on the sequel, please tell me now so that in the middle of the story you're like "I want Addie to have magical ponies that fly around her yard!" (P.S. I will not put that in my story, do you know how weird that would be?) And also please do not put, "I want Matt and Lily to have tons__ of babies and get married" because I already have the couples paired out and I know the basic plotline, but recently I have been adding more details onto the story.  
5. Free space, talk about what ever you want here! Although, you can do that anyways... I don't control you..... I just control the fate of this story and Lily is hanging by a thread. So, choose your words wisely.... I'm just kidding, I won't change the plot no matter what anyone says. Geeze, I bet some of you actually took me seriously too.  
6. Pick out the most awkward pair that you can think of, in this generation and male/female, that is currently in the story and one couple that you think would be just awful together that I haven't mentioned. A suggestion Addie/Matt._

That's it.... oh wait! I almost forgot.

_Thank you thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart for having me reach 210 reviews! It is absolutely astounding to me and I cannot thank you guys all enough, I really do appreciate it very much when you take the time out of your busy schedules just to talk to me, if only for a minute or two. :) Thanks again and have a wonderful day/night, when ever you're reading this!!!_


	35. All her fault

**_Please Review, Thank you :) (also, read in the dark if possible)_**

***Albus Severus***

I was taking my baby sister down to the pitch. She didn't look her normal self, and she definitely was very pale. She shivered the whole way down and when we got to the Ravenclaw section, I found Addie snuggled up to some Ravenclaw boy that seemed no older than a sixth year. I tried to unclench my jaw as they hugged but it was hard to smile.

"For the love of Godric, would you stop hugging already?" I thought to myself, giving a low grunt. He finally let go of her and left her with a wave. We came down the aisle and I helped Lily into her seat, telling her, "I'll see you after the match." My eyes met Addie's and we stayed like that for a while. Until I slightly moved my mouth to ask her who the hell was that nerd that she was hugging, but I closed my mouth tightly and left before I could say something stupid.

Addie was the first girl to look at me and not go, "Oh, he's the Quidditch player, he's the funny guy, he's Harry Potter's son." Addie saw me as… a person. Maybe at first she saw me as Lily's older brother but recently… it's been different. She doesn't just feel like my little sister's best friend. She feels like Addie.

Every time I am near her, I want to be so close to her, I don't want to be away from her side. I am like the little puppy and she's the little girl in the pink dress with pigtails. Then, there is the age difference… I am either three years older than her, or I am just more than one year older than her. That would depend on when her birthday is, but I would have to know to be sure. I've never really asked Addie anything like that, our conversations are mostly based around Lily.

I accidentally bumped into Jason Davies, who had been one of our lead chasers for this year. "Sorry," he told me, looking as though he was ready to hurl, "When I'm nervous I bump into things."

"Just don't do that with your skull and the bludger," I teased, but he turned a bit greener. "I'm kidding," I told him hastily, throwing my hands up.

"Oh… right," I pat him on the shoulder and told him, "come on, we better get into the locker room before they start the game without us," The green color did not remove from his face, "I'm kidding! They wouldn't start the game without us!"

"It's just, I've never gotten to the Championship match before, I wasn't even on the team till this year, I don't want to mess things up for us because of my nerves." Jason confessed as we made it to the dressing room.

"Just think of it as any other match," I told him, "play your hardest and make sure that your nerves don't fly you right into one of those keeper hoops."

He nodded, we saw that all of the girls had already been dressed, we were the second to last ones to arrive. "You better get changed fast, and Al, do you know where Hugo is?" Asked Rachel, who was twitching and was barely capable of keeping her own bat in her hand.

"Calm down Rachel, I'm the captain," I had to remind her, "and I don't know where Hugo is but I thought that he could get here on his own, since he is sixteen."

"Do not be snappy with me Al," she threatened, she had always been so tense, but somehow our skills worked well with the others. We occasionally got into fights and once she clubbed me so hard in the face that my nose broke but other than that…

"I have worked too long for you to just take this match lightly," She was also a seventh year and she had worked too hard to get where she was, fighting all the comments and her parents to allow her to play Quidditch. "And you will not screw this one up for us, I won't let you, now start taking this seriously and get changed for god's sake!"

"Well stop watching me and maybe I might change," I replied, she turned away in steam and had all of the other girls follow her. We changed and Hugo came in, all out of breath.

"Get changed and don't talk to Rachel, she's a bit crazy today, and your welcome for getting yelled at for your sorry ass being late." I muttered, taking my broom and walking out to the waiting area, where the girls stood nervously.

Rachel was sitting in a corner, with her head in her hands. "Rachel, we'll get them, stop worrying." Jason told her, but she cried harder into her hands. Her body shaking, "I can't do this. I'm not good enough to even be here… I shouldn't be allowed to ride a broom."

"Rachel you know that isn't one bit true," comforted sixth year Sarah, who played chaser, "You got on this team because you were better than anyone else! You beat out everyone else! No pun intended of course."

Rachel let out a little laugh and wiped off a tear, Alison gave me a glare as if to tell me that I should say something, but I had nothing on my mind. Elizabeth nudged into me, motioning that I should say something to her. "Yeah, Rachel, I mean I wouldn't have chosen you if you sucked," I was never good with speaking to girls, I was never taught, "You're awesome, and not just for a girl, for any of us."

She smiled at me and said, "That has to be the nicest thing that you have ever said to me Al… You are going to make some girl damn lucky one day." She winked at me and got back up as Hugo came in, all out of breath and worried. "Come on you guys, we have to get out there."

"Alright, we didn't get here on luck, okay. We need to go out there and play our hardest, we need to win and pummel Slytherin into the ground. Who is ready to make Slytherin eat broom?" I was never good at pepping people up for anything… and it didn't start today.

They stared at me and said, "I guess, we are?"

"Okay, now let's get our goggles because it looks like its threatening to rain," I placed mine around my head but I did not yet pull them over my eyes. My team all followed my example and we all mounted our brooms, hearing a loud, "And here comes the Gryffindor Quidditch Team!"

I flew down to the pitch and dismounted, seeing Scorpius Malfoy smiling at me. I returned this smile and said, "Well, may the best team win."

He made a laugh and said, "Yeah, we'll see about that."

We flew back up into the air and then… the match began.

Rachel and I were pelting on every Slytherin player that we could spot. We sent those bludgers flying every which way. Then, I just missed Harper by a thread of a needle.

The crowd shared my pain when they all complained how I missed the shot. I pulled down my goggles so that the newly fallen rain would not catch into my eyes.

I made a low grunt when I had again missed another Slytherin player, to be specific; I missed their seeker, again.

"Hey Potter, your sister made that exact same noise when her and I were shagging two nights ago!" I twisted around to see Alex Harper staring at me with a satisfied look slapped across his face.

I felt like I was shutting down, this couldn't be, what was he talking about? I looked down at the crowd to confirm if this was true, but Lily only stared up at me with a guilty look on her face, sorry that she had been caught. I shook my head in disbelief. Lily would never do anything like that, especially not with a Slytherin like Alex Harper… She couldn't have.

I heard Addie's voice boom out of her little figure, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO?! YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HIM AND NOT MEAN TO HAVE DONE IT!"

The next thing I knew, I was glad that the other Slytherin beater had a bad aim because he just missed me by a few feet. Then by the time that I had regained my balance, Lily had gone from her seat.

I called for a time out.

As I flew over to my team I heard an annoying fifth year announce, "Some words were spoken over by the Ravenclaw area, and I am getting word that Alex Harper had been talking about the possibility that he and Lillian Potter had a flame or something."

"I'll make sure to hit a bludger at him next time," I muttered furiously, meeting my team in the middle of the stadium. Rachel was the first one to ask, "they can't be serious, Al, we know that Lily wouldn't do anything like that, she wouldn't."

My stony face did not change as Alison said to me, "Harper is just trying to get to you, he feels threatened so he pulls this little stunt…"

"Yeah mate, Lily hates Harper with all her guts, she keeps on telling us how much she hates him." Hugo added, trying to help but not succeeding.

"…Well, I don't know, a whole lot of fifth years saw Alex kissing Lily before she had that last accident… it was quite fishy actually, because Matthew Perks dragged her out of the room… but then he ended up on the floor." Jason was the only one that was trying to be honest in a situation where honesty might as well be kept shut.

"Shut up Jason," Sarah hissed.

"I'm just saying, it's just really weird…"

"Well don't just say, think." Elizabeth snapped, giving Jason a glare.

"Keep one eye on the bludgers," I warned them in a low voice, "and Alison, catch the snitch as fast as you can, we want this game to be over."

She nodded and everyone was silent for the next two minutes. I cleared my throat and said, "No matter what happens, I want you to all remember that even if one of us goes down, the game is still going on."

Jason made a hard gulp and they all nodded. The whistle blew one sharp blast and then we were off again. Dive after dive, hit after hit, missing only a few times, Rachel and I were on a roll.

I was so into hitting the bludgers that I had almost not heard the whistle blow. I whipped around to see Alison, raising the snitch up high with her hand and her eyes wide with joy.

We did a team hug but our "glory moments" were cut short because we had all wanted to get out of the rain. "Nice shots Potter," Rachel said, slapping me on my back.

Winning the championship game had never been so sour. All I wanted to do was get to Lily, I wanted to get to the bottom of this, I just wanted to know why.

By the time that I had gotten in the locker room everyone had changed and the girls had already gotten their hair dried. "We'll meet you up in the common room!" Sarah called joyfully as they left to the outside, umbrellas in hand.

Hugo and Jason left a little bit later, leaving me be.

I started taking off my equipment when Alex's voice kept on mocking me in my head, the way that he had said it. Throwing my padding into my locker I started breathing irregularly. I felt this anger surge through my body and my fist hit the locker so hard that the pain afterwards didn't seem to match the pain that was in my heart.

Closing my eyes had to be the worst idea I had, I envisioned Alex kissing my little sister, and then he pulled her closer. My fist hit my locker again and again and again until I noticed that my knuckles had started to bleed. I had left several dents in my locker. When I finally left the locker room, I found several people waiting for me outside.

"Albus," one old woman said as if she knew me, "Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet," she held her hand out for me to shake but I did no such thing.

"You're that horrible woman, who writes the weekly column about Lily, aren't you?" I asked, her smile quickly faded from her face.

"A charming young man," she laughed, but her face didn't show it, "may I have a private word?"

"No, you may not." I told her, moving forward, but a large man stopped me, "David Rents, have you ever wanted to play professional Quidditch, by any chance?"

"I use to," I told the man honestly, "but right now I don't really know what I'm going to be, but I do see a pillow and bed waiting for me-"

"Doris Mentos, Witch Weekly, what would you say your favorite color is?" a woman around Mum's age asked.

This woman was soon knocked out of the way by an older man who asked, "It was believed that you and your sister did not get along, is this true or false? If it isn't true would you say that you had a rough childhood growing up with a troubled child like her?"

"My sister isn't troubled, she's a great sister and I can't say that we had the best of starts growing up but we're past fighting now and that's all there is to it." I passed this man to find another woman with a camera and she took my picture, "Smile pretty Albus, if this whole feud doesn't work out you might make tomorrow's front page!" I put my hand in front of the lens before the flash went off. "No pictures." I told her.

I finally saw a familiar face in the crowd; he pushed his way and said, "Leave the poor kid alone, he's just seventeen."

My Uncle to the rescue, "And who are you?" The woman who wanted to know my favorite color snapped angrily.

"I'm Ronald Weasley, and that's the last question that any of you are going to ask." He pushed me out of the mob of people and we went into the castle without another word to each other.

When we reached the outside of the common room, he cleared his throat, but I knew he had nothing left to say. "I will try my hardest to make sure that your parents do not know of anything until they come to meet Lily here at eight o clock tonight. I will go and check on her right now to see if she is alright, but you need to not talk to anyone about this. You just keep the conversations about the game and not what was said at the game. You hear me?"

I nodded.

"Don't talk to the press, they shouldn't even be here, and I have to talk to Hermione about Rita Skeeter… but anyways, don't even think about what he said, because he probably said it out of spite just to get you off of your game." Ron told me, patting my back and saying, "go on, you deserve a bit of a break."

"I just… I just didn't think he was lying, not with the way that she reacted… not with the way that she looked at me…" My lips felt numb and my knuckles were still bleeding.

Ron let me leave into the common room, where I was greeted with loud cheering and many slaps on the back. Rachel had her boyfriend's arm around her shoulders when she asked me in alarm, "Al, what did you do to your hand?!"

"Nothing, I bet I gripped the bat too tight," I lied, trying to move away from them but she took a hold of my arm and said, "You're lying; now where did you get those blood marks? God Al, it looks like you're still bleeding!"

I put my hand behind my back, "Nothing." I made a low growl and ripped my arm out of her grip, she stared at me with her mouth open, "It's nothing." I repeated, going up to my dorm and wrapping my arm in a sweater, to find myself falling asleep.

At promptly 1:52 in the morning, I was woken up by Hugo shaking me, "Al, Addie is outside the common room waiting for a word with you."

Taking my hand out of the sweater and going downstairs felt like the longest process of my day. Then again, it was technically a "new day" since it was almost two in the morning.

I realized that I had not changed out of my regular clothes, so I must look pretty foolish coming out there. I had no worries about "sleep hair" because my hair looked like that all the time.

I found Addie; her eyes seemed tired and sad at the same time, "What's wrong?"

"I think Lily is in trouble… I don't know how, but no one can find her at all and she hasn't shown up and when I said something to Matt about her then he went and left me and I don't know what to do and I'm scared and I think that she may have done something drastic." Addie wasn't in the least bit joking when she told me this, her eyes had tears in them already and the only way I knew how to comfort her was to put my arms around her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around my waist and started to bawl into my sweater.

"We'll find her," I told Addie, not really sure myself but I felt that she needed to hear it, even if it might not be true.

Then, throughout all of Hogwarts, there was a sound of a high pitched, eerie, scream.

Addie cried even harder into my sweater and said something but I couldn't for the life of me understand. Her face came out of my shirt and she said squeakily, "She talked about not being important, she would always blab on about not feeling like anyone but me cared. Then I go and yell at her today and now she feels like everyone is against her and she always threatened to do something drastic but she would never say what it was. She was always saying 'I need to study Astronomy, where is my Astronomy book, why aren't you studying for the Astronomy exam, did you know that someone died up on the Astronomy tower?'" Addie shrieked, "She was even talking about how an old professor had died up on the Astronomy tower so many years ago and she seemed so fascinated at how high it was and I never really paid attention to what she was really talking about. Then when I talked to Matt he just ran off and this is all m-my fault because I wouldn't listen! I would always just tell her to tell someone about Alex and she wouldn't listen. I told her that everything would all be better if she just told a teacher that he beats her, but no! She wouldn't have any of it! Then she wouldn't let me into the hospital wing before even if I wanted to! She didn't want my help, and I just watched her, I just sat there and watched her suffer! I didn't do anything and this is all my fault because I was the one to scream at her, I was the one that didn't do anything about Alex, I just watched her lose her mind, I just heard her cry herself to sleep every night and I did nothing about it, and I was the one who just sat there and watched her die!"

Addie buried her face into my chest and sobbed even more, we stood like this for what seemed like hours. All of the sudden, I slowly felt Addie's grip loosening on me, her legs weakening, and I could almost feel her slipping through my arms.

"Addie?" I asked, rearranging my arms so that she would not fall. "Addie!"

She did not respond.

_Now, answer me this, are you more concerned about Lily or Addie?  
I will do the numbering again for the reason because my reviewing was much easier for me and this way I got the feedback that I wanted._

_1. Are you one of the people that has this "theory" that Lily is not dead and is somehow miraculously alive? If so, explain your theory. If not, tell me what you think will happen to Addie. And what do you BELIEVE will happen, not what you WANT to happen. And if you believe that she dies, then who do you want to know first, and who do you want to read from first? (Who's point of view would be next?)  
2. Have you noticed the big differnce that is when you read something in the dark than in the light? I feel like my "darker" (as most of you consider them) chapters are more emotional and scary in the dark. I actually have this reoccuring nightmare that Myrtle or Alex comes into my room and kills me.  
3. I noticed this recently, if Addie is not in two chapter in a row, a bunch of people say something about it, but if Mary is not in consectutive chapters, no one really notices. Yes, I know Addie is more loved, but I mean come on, Mary isn't that bad of a character as you think she is. First impressions don't mean a whole lot.... or they shouldn't.  
4. The poll for the last chapter went over really well and I know where I am going to start off, thank you! :)  
5. Your quotes were all halarious, and I will still accept some, I might take more than one if they are funny enough but if you say, "Oh mine is too stupid, you wouldn't be able to fit it anywhere in your story..." think again, I have already placed "what's a hotdog made out of anyways?", "where did my pants go?", "what is that purple pumpkin doing here?", and "that was a moot point." So do not think that yours is too crazy, because some of these listed are nothing compared to what I actually planned out for the sequel. Tee hee :)  
6. On a happy note for you, I decided to make this story... a little bit longer than what I had planned recently. Meaning it'll be more around I think fourty some chapters now instead of being thirty eight like I had planned. But just think, if I had done what I planned out origionally, this story would have only been fifteen chapters. :/  
7. Do you like the name change or should I change it back? :)  
8. Now I asked this before, but who are you more concerned for, Addie or Lily? I personally like Addie more than I do Lily, I don't know why.  
9. T__his is whatever you want to talk about concerning the story, anyhing you have on your mind or any questions that you have!  
10. The Quidditch team names are made up of readers that had their names on their profiles :) well I bet not all of them are their real names, but what they just had. :) I hope you all don't mind that I put you in my story *sigh*  
__11. Last one, I promise. But someone asked me this question, "If Lily and Alex do have a baby, will it be like Derrick and like Alex or will it be like Lily?" Hmmm, well I think that the question is not would the baby be mean like them, but would the baby be cute and that question would be yes, that baby would be adorable because in my mind, Lily only has eyes for Matt but to be all fair, the next best looking boy in Hogwarts is Alex. (In their year)_

_Okay, I have bombarded you with enough questions for one chapter. I hope you all feel better than I do (I've been sick and in the past three weeks so far I have missed... 7 days.) and I hope you all stick around for next chapter which is when you finally find out what really happened to Lily. :)_


	36. Change in heart

***Matthew***

I was a man on a mission; I knew that Lily and I needed to talk about what had happened after they had left. Mostly because I wanted to know what had happened between those two between then and when Lily woke up in water, "We need to talk after the match… about you and me."

She nodded, and I sat down in the seat to her right. Right now, she was probably wondering about what I wanted to talk to her about, and she was probably fussing over what I was going to say to her.

"Welcome boys and girls to the Championship match! Today we will be seeing Slytherin versus Gryffindor for the title of Champion. Now before we get going here I would like to inform you all on why this match was postponed." Addie's ex-boyfriend… uhhmmm, whatever his name was announced throughout the stadium, "Yesterday, there was an attack on one of my fellow classmates, and the teachers needed to get to the bottom of things so the match was cancelled. But today, my fellow classmate is sitting somewhere in these seats as I speak. We are very lucky to have her with us."

I looked over at Lily once, and then I did a double take. At first, I thought that my eyes were deceiving me, but when I looked again I saw that Lily had taken off the necklace that I had given to her so many weeks ago… She had never taken it off… never. Why had she taken it off? Was she trying to give me a sign that meant that she didn't care anymore? Was she trying to attempt a subtle approach on breaking my heart into several billions of pieces? I shook my head and tried to concentrate on something else… Nothing came to mind.

To my left I felt Lily shiver; I looked back at her and noticed how much she was bundled up. "Lily, it's like, 30 degrees out, what are you doing with all that on?"

"It's keeping my body heat in," She said as if teaching me a lesson that was of some slight importance, "Nothing that Madam Pomfrey does can keep me warm for more than 20 seconds, I feel like I'm an ice cube compared to everything else."

I smiled at her and said quietly, "I'm sure you can warm up somehow."

She tapped her fingers on the arm rest, as if very irritated with me, or wanting to be back in the hospital wing, "Maybe I can." I placed my hand on hers, she felt freezing, her hands felt like ice and I was pretty sure that it had nothing to do with the weather.

Then, without any reason or warning, she ripped her hand away from mine, almost looking horrified at her own hand. She observed her hand for the next few minutes, making sure not to even glance over at me. Was my hand apparently germy to her?

We sat in the awkwardness that had become our relationship and I tried hard not to bump my arm into hers, but she kept on moving her elbow…

"This year the Slytherin team has done quite well but has yet to beat the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so we'll see how they compete today," Miles said loudly, he was never one that you should trust with megaphones or anything close to that. "And there goes the vivacious Felecia Foley, she is the lead Chaser for the Slytherin team."

I felt Lily lean over and whisper something to Addie… were they talking about me? Were they discussing how "inappropriate" it was for me to try to hold her hand now?

Miles interrupted my thought, "And here comes the Gryffindor Quidditch Team!"

The match was an hour into it and Al just missed Harper by an inch, "Come on!" Lily yelled louder than anyone near us.

The rain started to fall down.

Al swooped over our heads to make a shot at the Slytherin seeker, but by the way he had gripped the bat, he miss by a few feet or so. Al let out a disappointed groan, and so did most of the Gryffindor crowd. Alex took this as his opportunity to say something, "Hey Potter, your sister made that exact same noise when her and I were shagging two nights ago!"

No one right now would notice if I would piss myself.

It couldn't be, Lily wouldn't do that to me. She wouldn't sleep with Alex Harper if she was paid to sleep with him. Not even the cruciartus curse could bind those two together, nothing. Lily would never sleep with that prat… She wouldn't do that to me.

Addie rose from her chair and let out a deranged, "I knew it!" Addie's eyes seemed to be bugging out of her face and her whole face and neck were scarlet. Her index finger was pointing in Lily's face, "I knew it when I saw that you didn't have your necklace on!"

Lily seemed to shrink further and further into her seat, but she looked directly at Addie with tears glistening in her eyes.

"I-I didn't mean to-" she blubbered.

Addie was irate, "YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO?! YOU CAN'T SLEEP WITH HIM AND NOT MEAN TO HAVE DONE IT!"

She stood to face Addie eye to eye, "I didn't mean to do it." A single tear fell down upon her cheek, "I didn't want to."

She made a sharp turn towards me, stopping to stare guiltily at me, her face had always seemed so… innocent, but something had definitely changed in her. This couldn't be happening to us, to our bright future together, I shook my head, "You didn't… you couldn't have…. No."

"I'm sorry," Several tears fell from her eyes as she spoke to me, "I'm so sorry."

I put my head down, not being able to look her in the eyes anymore, I heard her feet shuffle away with each step gracefully falling on the concrete. I felt Addie move into the seat that Lily had just occupied and I could tell that she was staring at me. Her hand came to my shoulder, but she was silent. I was kind of thankful for that, because most of the time, she never shuts up.

I was slumped over, feeling as though my body was shutting down on me telling me: I won't let this be true, I'm not going to have it. In the pit of my stomach I felt something lurch as I heard Miles Goldstein come back into my ears. "Some words were spoken over by the Ravenclaw area, and I am getting word that Alex Harper had been talking about the possibility that he and Lillian Potter had a flame or something." I mumbled, "prick."

I could hear everyone talking, they were all in my head at one time. They were talking badly about Lily… they were talking about Alex and Lily… they were talking about them kissing… and doing other things… When I looked, I saw my leg was shaking rapidly, out of nerves or disgust maybe. I had finally had enough when I heard someone behind me say, "Oh Potter wouldn't be able to handle how big Harper is!" I could feel my face turning green as I ran out of the stadium, but I ignored Addie's pleads to come back, "Matt!"

I found the nearest trash bin and I hurled, "Oh Matt," Addie had finally caught up with me. Then, when I was done, my back slid down the wall closest to me and I opened my mouth ever so slightly. "This isn't like Lily… she would never do that." I shook my head in denial.

Addie slid down next to me to take a seat, "I don't really know who she is anymore… She has been so different."

"It isn't her," I repeated, "and I want to beat the shit out of Alex Harper."

I hit my head with every new word, "How could I have been so stupid? She liked Alex, that's why she didn't tell anyone… I bet she gave herself those bruises to get attention and blamed it on Alex… then he tricked her into sleeping with him…"

"Matt, you know that she didn't do that to herself, and you know full well that Lily loves you and not Alex," Addie tried to lie but I retorted with, "It's hard to tell now a days, if you know what I mean."

Then, all of the sudden, Mary Flint came running past us but she stopped when she saw us, "Do you know where Lily is?"

"I don't know, and I don't care," I told her, not even believing that lie myself.

"I think she went back to the hospital wing, but what's it to you? I thought you hated everyone besides Slytherins?" Addie fired back.

"I don't hate everyone, I'm not like the Malfoys and Harpers," Mary seemed to become red with anger, "I am not the heartless bitch that you believe me to be." When she looked back at me, she looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't know what exactly. "I'm sorry for all those years ago… for starting all of this, I was stupid then, and I didn't mean for it to get this far."

"Don't blame yourself, Lily did what she did because she wanted to do it," I felt more vomit stirring in my stomach.

Mary frowned at me, "No, she didn't want to. I can't say anymore… but I wish I could, just wait for Lily to talk to you… before you hate her." She then left to go find Lily.

"He makes me sick," I told Addie, feeling that urge to purge again, "just thinking about them… it just makes me want to throw up."

"I couldn't tell," She said sarcastically, "but we shouldn't think about it… we might just get angrier, and that would do us no good."

I couldn't have cared less what the ending score was, I just wanted to get out of the stadium. We both took our time getting into the castle and letting everyone else before us go.

Then, my own plan could be taken into action, I found Harper walking down the hall. I made my hand into a fist and I let him have it "Matt! No!" I heard Addie scream behind me.

I hit him again, this felt almost… too good to be hitting on him. "Stop it, stop it!" Addie screamed, running and grabbing me by my waist and trying to yank me back away from Alex.

"Addie, let go of me, he deserves this!" I bellowed.

"Matt, stop!" She accidentally let go of me and I got my chance to hit him again, "MATT!" she yelled, trying to get to my head.

"You don't like getting hit back do you?" I laughed; I could almost feel my eyes change colors.

"Stop this Matt, it isn't funny!" I grabbed a hold of Alex's shirt as Addie had pulled me up, when she pulled for that one last time I was forced to let go of Alex. His head made a good thud on the floor.

"Matt, what the hell were you thinking?!" Addie asked, pushing me away from the crowd of on lookers and Alex.

"You better hope to god that she's alright, or you'll have worse coming to you Harper! I'll be sure no one else is around." I roared, almost getting free of Addie's freakishly strong grip.

"Have you gone mad?!" She pushed me all the way down the hallway, and out of Alex's sight, "You will get in so much trouble!"

"I don't give a damn," I said furiously, "No one has been able to find Lily and it's been hours."

"We'll find her," She told me, but I was right enough not to believe her.

"I'm not going to wait around and find out that she's gone and killed herself somewhere-" Just two nights ago, Lily had spoke these words to me, "…could care less if I jumped off the astronomy tower…"

I ran as fast as my heart and legs would let me go, but I was stopped by an old woman with a weird looking nose. "Excuse me, I have to leave, this is an emergency," I told her, but she just threw me up against a wall. "Not before you ask a few of my questions first." She smiled.

"I need to-"

"Have you ever slept with Lillian Potter?"

"No."

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"I'm a teenage boy, ma'am."

"How long have you wanted to pummel that poor boy into the ground for?"

"He's not a poor boy, he's an idiot and a jerk, now if you have any more questions, I'll answer them later, but I have to go right now-"

"Then I will just have to talk to a teacher about your being out this late-"

"I don't care, she means too much to me to have me just stand and let her do this," I escaped from the woman and ran half the length of the school, when I realized that I was just on the first floor. I didn't have time to go all the way back to the grand staircase, so I found some steps to go up and up and up until I finally reached the top inner level. I struggled up the rest of the stairs to hear a quiet voice grow louder and louder and louder.

I remembered that voice so well, I had come to know it, to love it. This gave me the strength to get up the rest of the stairs and open the door. Lily stood on the railing of the highest part of the tower, just a few yards away from me.

"You're nothing Lily, you aren't even worth a galleon for your body, and even less for your brain… You like being a fat girl don't you? So that people can pity you? ... No one loves you, and no one ever will… You little piece of shit, get up! Are you done now? …. Don't be such a cry baby… No one is here to save you now Lily, what are you going to do? Huh? What are you going to do?"

I didn't have time to shut the door before lunging over towards her, my arms desperately trying to reach her waist, not daring to let go if they did. Lily let out an ear shattering scream, but it was cut short when my arms wrapped around her, not letting her go. She was shaking and fussing, but her eyes would not open. I tried once to help her up but the more she moved the more she was harder to pull up.

"Just let me go, I don't deserve this," She sobbed, "I don't deserve to live. Everyone would be better off without me."

Half of my body was over the edge as I hoisted her up onto the ledge, but she would not stop fidgeting around. I took one last pull backwards and we landed on our backs, yet she fell on top of me. I fell on the concrete.

She turned around to me, her face livid yet tears were streaming down her delicate face, "You should have let me go! I don't want to be a burden to you anymore! I don't want you to feel like you have to pretend like you like me! It's alright if you don't, I just don't want to live anymore!"

"Listen to yourself, have you gone completely mad? What would make you think that I don't like you? And you are not a burden Lily, I lo-"

"Yes I am, and you hate me, everyone hates me! Addie screamed at me and she was mad at what Alex did but she just wouldn't let me explain and now the whole school thinks that I'm a whore, because of what Alex did!" Lily cried into her hands, her face completely red.

"Lily, I could never hate you," I tried to stay calm, sitting up like she had, crossing my legs. The rain felt like it was pouring down now more than it ever had in my life.

"But I put that look on your face, I made that look, you hate me because of what you think is true but you don't know. No one knows." She howled.

"Lily, what are you talking about?" I asked, but she kept on crying into her hands. She started to shake and hyperventilate. "Lily?"

"He raped me!" She screamed, holding onto her head, "He raped me" she sobbed, covering her ears and rocking back and forth.

"He told me to shut up, he told me that it wouldn't hurt, but it did. He hurt me and he said that he loved me, he told me that he would kill you if I told…" Her voice sounded almost hysterical, "I kept on screaming and screaming for him to stop but he wouldn't! He kept on doing it and he laughed at me!" Lily would look anywhere but at my eyes, she looked as though she had finally gone mad, Lily normally had it all together… but she had broken down.

Her lips trembled in fear, her whole body shook and rocked, "He felt so cold… so very cold…" her voice had gone down and I could just barely hear her over the rain, "it's as if I'm cold now…"

Lily's bloodshot eyes finally stared into my eyes, her lips trembled, but she managed to stumble out these words, "I'm not innocent anymore."

_**Please Review :)** _


	37. A Father first, not an Auror

**_Please Review! :)_**

***Alex***

"Mr. Harper, I hope you do realize the severity of your reckless actions." I simply nodded at the older woman's yells. "Do you know how much trauma you have caused this poor girl? Shattering her social life and excluding her from all of her friends? Not to mention the physical damage you have permanently done to her body! You have caused this girl to suffer through hell and back and all you have to say for yourself is that you didn't mean for it to turn out this way?!"

I nodded glumly.

"Then you have left me with no choice Mr. Harper, you are from now on, expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." I knew this had been coming to me for a while now, and with this new confession, I was pretty sure that it pushed me over the edge. "Mr. Harper, I hope you are aware of the consequences that you will now be facing, not just with the school but the Wizengamot as well, you will be lucky to see no less than several years in Azkaban Prison." She howled at me, pacing nervously in her office. "You'll be lucky that I haven't told Mr. Potter yet what you've been up to these past two years. I expect his daughter to tell him, and until that time, you will be kept watch by me and Mr. Weasley."

She nodded to a very tall, red haired man standing in the shadows of the room. He had heard everything that I had told McGonagall, and he did not look one bit pleased.

I swallowed hard and nodded to her, trying hard not to look anywhere near Mr. Weasley's scowling eyes. He was restraining himself from arresting me right then and there, because I saw his knuckles turn white as he held onto a desk nearby.

McGonagall let out a big sigh and shook her head, "I thought you were more than this Alex, I really thought that you were. I thought you were a bigger man than your father, but I guess you are no higher or less than he is."

I kept my head low and in shame, she was right. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, she was right. I had become sick and evil as my father had intended me to be. He had always warned my mom to not tell anyone or he would make sure that I would give her hell for the rest of her life… I would not be able to look at my mother's disappointed and shocked face as McGonagall would tell her the news. I could not bear it. It would simply be too much for me to handle.

***Matt***

Lily kept on crying for the next hour, apologizing with every breath. I told her that she didn't need to be sorry for anything, but she just insisted on feeling sorry. "I-I should have told you then, I was stupid to have waited!"

"You didn't know that he was going to just blurt it out to the whole school-"

"I should have told you anyways! I shouldn't have waited for something to come up!"

"You did the right thing."

"No I didn't, I have failed at life."

"You have not failed at life. You are far from it."

"I can't do anything right, I'm always putting up with everything, and I haven't told anyone about Alex yet."

"Yes you have, you've told me. Now because you did, everything will be alright now… All you have to do is go tell McGonagall…" Her eyes widened with fear, she maybe thought I was joking before, but this time, she heard me. Not what I was saying, but what I meant by what I was saying.

"Alright… but after I get some sleep." She told me, I nodded and I slowly staggered up to a standing position. Lily, on the other hand, needed my help to get up. She struggled walking at first, so I asked her, "Do you want me to carry you?"

I knew Lily had too much pride; she wouldn't want me to carry her unless it was absolutely necessary. "I can get it from here."

Knowing she would later complain about how her feet hurt and how she could not walk anymore, since the hospital wing was on the other side of the castle; I took her in my arms and walked her down the very long steps. She complained the whole way down, saying how she could walk herself and she was not a baby.

But my mind was not focused on that, it was focusing on her drastic weight loss. Through her shirt, I could see every bone that Lily had in her body. It was almost sickening to look at. I had known about the outrageous diet that Alex had put on her, but I had no idea that it had gone this far. She was easy to pick up, and her arms are scrawnier than hell. I had completely zoned out on her complaining and I kept my mind on getting her to the hospital wing.

Madame Pomfrey was still up when we came into her ward, she sighed greatly and said, "Not another bathroom I suppose?"

"No… just outside. But I'm not hurt… just a little twitchy, that's all."

I noticed one of the very back curtains were closed shut tightly, but I heard nothing coming from the curtains… I brushed it off and placed Lily on one of the closer beds. "I told you to come to me right after that devil game was over, but you decided to go on a little nature walks I see."

"I'm sorry." I told her.

"Don't be sorry to me, be sorry to your parents, they came here first looking for you but then they went to Minerva's office to find out where you were, I must warn you though. I feel it is my duty since I've gotten to know you more than any other student that ever attended this school," she leaned closer to Lily and said in a hushed tone. "They have come to arrest him."

***Ginny***

"Tell me where my daughter is," Harry's voice boomed throughout the office, he paced around the fifth year boy who was shaking nervously.

"I d-don't know where she is sir." Harry ran his fingers through his hair, it seemed as though he was going to pull out all of his messy hair. "Liar," came Harry's voice harshly.

I dabbed my eyes with the handkerchief that McGonagall handed to me, "Dear, raising your voice won't bring Lily back to us any faster, so calm down."

"Sitting here isn't doing a damn thing either Ginny, do you know what could be happening to her?" For as long as we have been married, Harry had never raised his voice to me so high. He was becoming more panicked.

"Never talk to me like that again Harry James Potter, you hear me?" I threatened, my eyes glowering at him. "You control your temper right now."

Harry said nothing for the next few minutes. I sat uneasily in the chair across from McGonagall, some boy named Alexander Harper sitting to my left. He looked more nervous than I was, but I could hide my fear better than he could.

"So we're just supposed to sit and stand here to wait until Lily dies?" Harry asked, making Alex make a terrible twitch. "Harry!"

"It's true Ginny, no one knows where she is and there is a possibility that she could be dead, just like with you and Riddle-" He finally turned around to face me, his mouth shut tightly. He gave me his pitiful look and I just stared at him.

"Ginny, I'm-" but he was cut off.

"Minerva, Poppy has sent me to tell you that Lillian is in her care. She is alright, just a little shaken." Said the portrait to my right, the occupant of the portrait fixed his half moon shaped glasses and sat back down.

***Lily***

"They've come to do what?!" I asked, almost getting up, but I was pushed down into the pillow, "You've had enough activity for today." She scolded me.

Matt stood silently, looking at his own feet. Something was on his mind, but he was not voicing it. I was about to call him on it when the hospital wing doors opened. My mother burst through the doors and let out a sob when she saw me. Her hands and legs could not act quick enough when she ran to hug me to death. "Lily!" She cried, not letting me go, "We were so worried about you, where were you? Why are you wet? Why is Matthew wet?" She asked too many questions at once for me to fully understand.

Then, dad came into the room. He shut the doors slowly and looked as if he were in no rush to get over to me. When he saw me, he just gave me a meaningful look. Being an auror for over twenty years gave him a sense. It was more than a dad sense, but less than a mom sense. It knew when something was wrong and who was lying and most of the time, he would not have to ask to figure out what was going on…

He looked at me, sizing me up once, twice, and then a third time. His face went stony and white as he looked at my guilty face. Like Addie, he had known, without me telling him or anyone else's help, he figured it out. At first he looked over dangerously towards Matt but then I let out a whimper, "I'm sorry." He tried to act dumb by tilting his head, but he was not fooling me. Mum let go of me and asked if I was alright, the truthful answer…

I shook my head no; I could feel the tears already forming in my eyes. "I'm sorry." I repeated quietly, tucking my legs tightly near my chest. "Lily, what is going on?" My mother asked, placing her hand onto my forehead.

This sinking feeling overwhelmed me as I sat in the white bed, with white sheets, and white pillow cases. I felt as if I were going insane, I grabbed a hold of my head and I rocked back and forth. I started to say things in my head, but I then suddenly felt my lips moving along with the words. My parents both looked genuinely concerned for me, I saw their lips moving but I couldn't tell what they were saying to me. My eyes just stared up at my parents… what was I telling them, why couldn't I figure out what I was saying, and why did it feel like the room was spinning?

Turning and turning and turning… I felt… helpless… nauseous… but most of all… insane.

My head started to throb, and I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out the words that I could not hear. I could feel my hands trembling, what was happening to me? In all of the frustration I could not figure out what was wrong with me. I could feel my throat growing sore and my eyes welling up with tears. I wanted to know what was going on with me… what happened? My eyes were fixed on my dad, who looked… heartbroken.

I felt several tears fall from my eyes, and I could slowly tell what I had been saying. I kept on repeating the words, "I'm sorry."

Madam Pomfrey came into my view, she was saying something to me, but I could not hear her. She flicked her wand once, twice, and then a third time. But I could not hear anything they said, she left the room to go brew up a potion when my hearing was slowly coming back.

"Harry, say something to her, she obviously is saying this to you." My mum urged, in a panic mode.

"Ginny, she can't hear us, otherwise she would have responded, I say we take her to St. Mungo's." Matt still was standing in the corner, not interfering with my parents, just watching me with wide eyes.

Then, I looked straight up at my dad and I told him, "I'm sorry daddy, I'm really sorry."

His attention was focused all upon me; he came to my side and sat down on a little part of the bed. He wiped off my tears, and stroked one of his hands through my hair so that I could finally see. "What do you have to be sorry for dear?"

It took all of my strength not to collapse, heave, or both when telling him. "Lying to you," I sobbed, covering my eyes with my hands, "how I never told you what Alex did… how I let it get this bad…"

My father looked at me and asked seriously, "Lily, what did that boy do to you?"

I cried even harder into my hands, not being able to stop, but I saw dad hold up a hand to silence mom. "He hit me," I sobbed, hearing mum's high pitched inhale, "He's the one that has been hitting me… he was the one that made me lose all of the weight… he was the one that…" I felt my lungs tighten, my heart beat racing, and my face flush itself of all color.

"He was the one that what Lily?" My father urged, trying to keep his "Auror face" on, but his fatherliness was showing.

"Alex was the one that raped me." I sobbed, not being able to look at either of my parents. But, my dad did something that I did not think he would do… he leaned over towards me… and he held me in his arms as I cried. He did not care that I was getting his sweater all wet and he did not care what I had done… He had simply become the father I had always needed, wanted, and loved.

_I will try to make this a short one. I am going to be having a weekly poll, or whenever I feel like updating that poll... ha ha. Anyways, I have a new one up right now and they will all be concerning this story and its sequel so be sure to vote and you could be deciding someone's fate. :)_


	38. That Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes

***Albus***

Addie was slowly slipping through my arms, I set her as gently as I could onto the floor, and I tried to look for her pulse or heartbeat. To my horror, her heartbeat had slowed way down and it was very faint. My hand did not move, and I counted her beats per minute. My eyes widened in surprise and I thought to myself, "Oh my god, I just ran through the pitcher and went to second base without ever stopping at first! Addie will hate me for this…" I took my hand off of her immediately after realizing my mistake.

I tried to shake her, but she did not even open her eyes. "Addie please, do not do this now. Addie, please do something to let me know you're alright."

Not one muscle did Addie move. For some unknown reason to man, I didn't have the heart to take her to the hospital wing. This felt all too familiar… someone carrying another person to the hospital wing, they almost die because they were drowned… Something just was not adding up. "Addie, please wake up, you can't die."

Swallowing my gut feeling, I picked her up feverishly and I ran down the grand staircase. "Addie, wake up." I kept on muttering, but she did not respond to any words that I uttered.

I had to wake Madam Pomfrey up, who did not seemed thrilled that I had no idea what happened with Addie or why it happened. She told me to place Addie on the absolute last bed in the hospital wing; it was in the far right corner.

"Tell me exactly what happened before she collapsed." The older woman kept on checking Addie to see her eyelids and her refluxes and at one point she even needed me to leave the area. She told me I could come back in within ten minutes. But it took longer than ten minutes, and being myself and an idiot after exactly ten minutes I opened up the curtain to see Addie half exposed, now she was really going to murder me. "Oh my god," I muttered, my fingers securely wrapped around the curtain. Then… my own knees felt wobbly, and I fainted right on the spot.

When I woke up, Addie had her shirt back on, but she had still not woken up, Madam Pomfrey looked at me, shaking her head. "Mr. Potter, I will not tell Miss Abraham why you fainted, because I feel it is your responsibility."

"You mean she's alright?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"She might be, but I still have yet to figure out what was wrong with her as to why she had collapsed." Madam Pomfrey told me, so I hesitantly asked this question, "Why did you need to have her top off?"

The older woman gave me a dark look, "Mr. Potter, in situations like these, you need to check if they have been abused, because that is when witches or wizards are most fatigued, and most abusers do not attack on places were normal eyes see."

"Oh… right." I nodded, and looked over to Addie's bed again. "You may go over by her, but you may not stand, you must sit." She ordered, giving me that dark look again.

I got up to go sit on a chair next to Addie and I shut the curtains tight. She looked somewhat peaceful as she rest; resting in peace, but I wouldn't let myself think about that.

The curtain closed quietly, my hand grabbing my wand, "Silencio." I said in a hushed voice.

"Addie, can you please wake up? Please? For me?" I asked her, looking at her very pale face.

***Tyler***

"There is nowhere else to sit but here, and I was here first, so move." I looked up to see a blonde haired fifth year girl staring at me. I wanted to say, "go back to the beach honey, this is where we actually study," but I refrained.

"There's more than one chair you know," I told her, gritting my teeth, trying not to let her see my face, I didn't want to talk to anyone, no one besides Lily.

"Why are you so bummed?" I asked bluntly, pulling a seat across from me.

Somehow, she had this presence that told me that I could trust her; it was a new feeling to me… a good new feeling. "I stand up for her and get a black eye, she doesn't notice, I kiss her on the cheek, she says nothing, I almost tell her how I feel, and she goes and sleeps with someone!"

"You're talking about Lily Potter, I'm guessing," I nodded sadly, she knew.

"What's your name again?"

"Tyler Moon."

"Do you want to know my name?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Well it might, if you cared."

I looked up at her; she had a sort of confidence to herself that I had only seen a few times before. She had nerve; I could tell that by how I had met her, it was kind of… refreshing. I could not get over how blonde her hair actually was, it was even more blonde than a banana.

"Haven't you been friends with Matthew Perks for the longest time?" I nodded, noticing now her bright blue eyes. "And you've been keeping in your likings for Lily around him?"

"Not really, they sometimes just burst out and then I leave the room… It's not like anyone notices me…"

"I'm noticing you."

Those brilliant blue eyes stared at me for a good twelve seconds before I broke our eye contact, looking down and frowning, finally noticing her Slytherin tie. "Sorry that you lost the match," I coughed out, trying to make this conversation less awkward.

Her cheeks became pink, "Uh, yeah, shame, I mean, damn."

I couldn't help but letting out a laugh, but I also couldn't help noticing the librarian's glare that pierced through my skin. When she got up, she went over by the old newspapers, oh how she taunted me with how she walked. I reminded myself that Lily had slept with someone else and would not be interested in me… but this girl seemed to be… flirting with me. No girl had ever flirted with me before; none the less actually look at me besides being that followed Matthew Perks around all of the time.

She came over with a newspaper that seemed ancient, then I asked in a panicked voice, "Do we have to review current events?!"

I rushed over to the rack of papers and started to read when I heard this terrible, long drawn out scream from outside.

"Oh my god," The blonde girl said, staring wide eyed at her paper.

"That sounded like Lily," I stated to no one in particular.

"It did." She said, shaking her head in disbelief.

No less than three minutes later a third year student ran into the library, yelling, "Lillian Potter is suicidal!" The old librarian chased the third year out of the library and I think even farther than that.

The blonde girl looked at me and said quietly, "Do you trust me?"

"Well I hardly know you…"

"Just trust me for right now," she dragged me by the arm and pulled me to the middle of the room, where people check out books. I didn't know what she was going to do, but I could tell that she was going to get me into a whole lot of trouble. She stepped up onto the large round desk and extended her hand to me. I reluctantly was pulled up by such a force that surprised me. "Attention people in the library!" She announced so that all of the people had came quiet and out of their gossiping groups to stare at her in awe. "Instead of gossiping about Lillian Potter, gossip about me. I am a Slytherin, I talk to muggles, I don't have a quick wit, and I had to beg to be in Slytherin to the sorting hat because before I didn't want to get made fun of. But I regret not being put into another house. I am blonde and sometimes I purposefully am slutty to get guys attention. And right here and right now I am going to make out on the library check out desk, in front of all of you!"

She then turned to me, a smile on her face, my eyes widened. Wait, she was talking about ME! Without giving me any warning, her arms wrapped around my neck, and nearly knocking us both off of the checkout counter. Her lips connected right with mine, instinctively, my arms wrapped around her small figure. She slowly had me lean down so that I was lying on my back, I was sure to get in major trouble for this… I knew it.

The girl grabbed onto my hand and put her on her arse, right on her arse, what the hell was she thinking?! Her kissing was amazing though, her lips moved so slowly, ever so slowly. I figured about 70 students were watching me grab her arse while she basically made out with me on the check in and checkout counter. Then, all of the sudden, I felt her tongue. Oh Merlin, what was I suppose to do? Good thing for me, the old hag of a librarian interrupted us, irate at what we were doing in front of everyone.

I pulled out of the kissing, but the blonde girl groaned annoyed, instead of accepting my gesture, she pushed in even harder to me. Kissing me so fiercely that I did not think that I could keep up. The old librarian had to literally pull her off of me, but she glared dangerously at the both of us, screaming at us as if we had broken all of Hogwarts into billions of pieces. She chased us half way around the castle, until we lost her near the Slytherin dungeons, where the blonde haired girl smiled at me again.

"Well, that was fun," she said finally, at her portrait, which was not snoring quite so loudly. "Thank you for trusting me."

We were both quite out of breath, and before she turned fully away I asked her hurriedly, "Wait, I never got to know your name."

She made a small laugh, "I'm Mary."

"Mary what a pretty name."

"I always thought so."

"So, do you, uhmm… did that back there… uh."

"Did that mean anything?" She suggested.

"Yeah," I asked quietly, trying to brace myself for the heartbreak that I was about to endure.

"If you want it to, then it did, if you don't want it to, then it didn't" She whispered her password to the portrait and was almost all of the way into the hole when I said loud enough for her to hear, "I want it to!"

The portrait swung shut, but I had seen her blue eyes light up at me, giving me hope for tomorrow. I walked back to the common room, walking a bit taller that night.

***Albus***

My hands enclosed her one hand, my tears already dried, but new ones stayed fresh in my eyes, not ready to fall. My lips trembled out the words, "I never thought that I could care for someone so much with knowing them as little as I know you." I tried to keep my hands steady, but looking at her dreary face scared me the most. "Madam Pomfrey told me that there wasn't much that we could do for you besides wait… I just wish you could tell me how to fix you so that you wouldn't have to go through this… that we wouldn't have to go through this."

I squeezed onto her hand as tight as I could, the tears threatening to leave my eyes, "but we will get you through this, I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise."

One single tear fell from my eye as I whimpered, "I promise."

_Hi again! It feels like forever since I updated... which was probably only three days ago, but you know. Anyways, I looked at my stats and I figured out by this chapter I can get to three goals that I have always wanted but never thought that I could achieve. First, getting to 100,000 words. Which I did on my one, with the much help of my long author's notes :) and I am making this extra long so that I can be sure to make it to 100,000 words :)  
The second is getting 10,000 veiws, which I am dangerously close to! So please view a lot, it is only around 300 veiws that I need.  
Then finally, is getting to 300 reviews. I know that I am only at 253 and you're all looking at your computer screens thinking that I am crazy, but I would really love to have three goals met in one chapter. Because I don't like waiting and if you can make my dreams come true I will do something nice for all of you. But, here is my catch. I will not post my new chapter until I have 300 reviews :) So get cracking people. Ha ha, just kidding, you can start tomorrow or the next day, it all depends on wether you want to see what happens next or what. And if you meet this goal with impressive speed then I will give you more of a good thing. :) But I cannot tell you what the good surprise is until you have completed my good task. :)  
Are you excited yet?  
If not, then how about if I tell you this, if you do get me up to 300 reviews, then I will help you be like Trelawney and help you "see the future" :D  
Excited now?  
If not, what if I told you that there will be some fanart of this story soon?  
If not, you should be!_

_And now, that is exactly 100,000 words to my story "Without Red Hair and Freckles."_


	39. My Baby Girl

***Alex***

"I want him expelled, I don't him going anywhere near my daughter!" howled a livid Mrs. Potter, pointing her short little finger at me. "Minerva, have him out of here at once!"

"Ginny, I plead you to calm down." The head mistress said coolly, trying to calm the irate Mrs. Potter out of her rage.

"Don't you dare McGonagall, don't you dare do this to me right now. Have him banished from the grounds, what he did was totally out of line and irresponsible, and obviously he cannot control himself just like his father. Always sick minded, always making up excuses, I should have realized right when Lily told me that she fell down the stairs, that _you_ had something to do with it." Her nose had bunched up, her face glowing with red hot fury.

"I command you at once to either calm down or leave my office at once Ginerva, I should say that you would hate to pull your mother into this…"

"Calm down? Calm down! You expect me to calm down after what happened in this school to my daughter? You and I both realize the seriousness of his actions and the reactions that will be occurring Minerva, I know we both know something bad will come of this, we both have that motherly instinct." Mrs. Potter gave me yet another glowering look, "What he has done to my daughter has not only tortured her body, but done her much emotional damage. I thought that I had seen much improvement until he came into the picture. When she came back last summer, I nearly fainted at how thin she looked!"

"You didn't know about her weight until someone else said something about it… until Madam Pomfrey caught her…" I mumbled to myself, looking at my fingers. She made a sharp turn towards me.

"You sick, twisted, demented, and selfish little boy, I don't know all of what you have done to my daughter, but I will soon find out. When I do find out, I will be coming for you, and you probably won't survive after I'm done with you, you appalling little devil of a child!" Mrs. Potter was towering over me as I sat in the chair, but I had always remembered her as such a short woman, like Lily… my Lily…

"Ginny, I beg of you to calm down, I do not wish to send in your brother to drag you out of my office kicking and screaming like a four year old child." McGonagall told her quietly, as if I weren't eavesdropping.

"Send him in!" She told the head mistress hysterically, "I can take him on with less than four hours of sleep in the past week, it doesn't matter to me." Her voice had raised higher and higher, her bloodshot eyes glistening with tears. "Ron is no match for me!"

"As your old instructor, Mrs. Potter, I order you to go home and get some sleep. You are obviously only reacting this way because of your lack of sleep, not because you are over emotional." McGonagall told her, "Where is Harry? He may take you home."

"No, he can't." Mrs. Potter slumped down into the seat next to me, not by choice, but that was the only one available. "He can't leave Lily right now; they're finally bonding in some sick and twisted way. She needs him here more than anyone else, even me-" She pulled out McGonagall's handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed her eyes once more, "-I don't think I can bear to go home alone Minerva, that house without people is just so intimidating."

McGonagall had to think about this one, and she said, "Alright, fine, you may stay, but I am ordering you to get some rest before coming back in here. Alex's mother will be coming soon and I would like to explain to her in private what has happened. Also, I would not like you coming and talking to her, because of your past with her in your seventh year at Hogwarts." She gave Mrs. Potter a warning look before going on, "I shall send you to the room where, everything is hidden and you will sleep there. But make sure you are very specific on who you allow in Miss Weasley- I mean, Ginny. For you never know who knows about the room."

Mrs. Potter left the office with only giving me four dirty looks on the way out, trying to argue with McGonagall the whole time.

"M-My mother is coming?" I asked, my lips quivering with fear.

"Your mother should have been here an hour ago, but she had just gotten out of bed, so she needed some time to freshen up, as so she said. I myself do not think that she needs to glamour up for this news." She gave me that one look that meant that I did something wrong, even though she had been harping on me for the past two hours about this. No pun intended.

"Of course my mother had to do that…" I muttered, hating how she always had to be fashionably late for everything. She missed my first Quidditch match doing that.

For the next twenty minutes, I sat in the office with McGonagall staring at me with death eyes as I just tried to sit back and wait for my mom to start yelling at me.

"Minerva, I came here as soon as I could. I was surprised to know that you didn't let me know right when you sent out the letter. So this must be serious, isn't it? Please tell me my boy did not do anything and you needed to give me an award or something at this late of night for being the worst mother of all time?" My mother said, so I slouched down even further into the chair.

"I am afraid not Mrs. Harper…" But my mother was quick to say something.

"Please, do not call me by that horrible name," she said, I could tell that she was covering her eyes with her hand, in embarrassment of my father. "Refer to me as my maiden name."

"As you wish, Miss Brown," McGonagall had her sit in the seat next to me and she tapped her foot nervously on the floor. "But we have more important things to discuss, like your son's future education and the severe punishments he will be receiving."

My mother didn't dare look at the shame on my face, but she looked straight at McGonagall, when she mumbled the words, "severe punishment."

***Harry***

Lily had been sobbing on my sweater for an hour now, and she had not once described what really happened or why she thought that it had happened. I didn't feel like I should press the subject, for the first time in my life, my daughter was opening up to me. Ginny had always been so worried about her, how she was or wasn't fitting in, how she had gotten so skinny, and when she was younger how she wasn't talking to anyone.

I had always noticed something different about Lily, she seemed to always be misunderstood, quiet, and she would always wear non-revealing clothing. I had no problem with her covering herself up at the time, as if it were going to keep the boys away from her, but now I knew why she had always covered up, why she had always been so quiet, and why she was so thin.

The only thing that she would say to me now was, "I'm sorry daddy, I'm really sorry." She apologized with every hyperventilated breath that she took. I tried to calm her down, but she just kept on shaking in a rocking motion as she cried on me. I remembered the day that I first finally got to meet Lily. Ginny had always wanted a baby girl to call her own, no matter how many boys she would have to have to get her one little girl. For the third time around, I had been secretly hoping for another boy. But on that August day, Ginny had finally got what she had always wanted, a beautiful, healthy, baby girl to call her own. Her black hair was already showing, but Ginny didn't care, she couldn't have cared any less about what hair color her little girl had, as long as it was hers.

When I first held Lily in my arms, I got tears in my eyes. Never could I have imagined that in about sixteen years, I would still be holding my little baby girl in my arms as she cried. "Lily, I'm here, everything is going to be okay now, he can't hurt you anymore."

I could feel her head shake through my shirt, "No, it won't," I heard her muffle through my shirt, "Nothing is going to be okay."

"Lily, he can't hurt you, he's going off to prison, he can't hurt anyone there," I tried to convince her, but she shook her head again.

"No… he's going to kill someone… just like he killed me on the inside," she sobbed, "He will come and get me, he's going to kill me, because I told… He's going to kill me daddy."

I shut my eyes for a second; my heart was just torn in half. My baby girl had been tortured, to her limits, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I took her head off of my sweater and I made her look me straight in the eyes, "I won't let anything happen to you Lily, please believe me." I kissed her forehead and wiped her tears away. Her lips trembled, "He said he loves me daddy, he told me he did it out of love. I know he loves me."

"Lily, boys like that do not love you," I told her firmly, "If he would have loved you then he wouldn't have made you do anything that you don't want to do."

"He loves me," she repeated, "He loves me." Lily covered her ears and started to cry again, only this time she shook rapidly.

"Lily, he doesn't love you," I tried to tell her but she just acted as though she couldn't hear me, I took her hands and I repeated what I had said. She shook her head and cried even harder, "he loves me."

"He does not love you, Lily, he doesn't deserve to love you," Lily shook her head no, as if she would not believe me. "He loves me." She repeated, only now she was screaming, rocking back and forth as my hands held her own hands down. My voice was just as calm as it had been the time before, "Lily, he doesn't love you."

She started shaking uncontrollably, "He loves me!" she shrieked at the top of her voice, "He loves me, he loves me, he loves me!"

"When he beat you, did he say he loved you? Lily, did he?" I asked, taking a hold of her shoulders so that she could not rock, yet she tried so hard to. I hardened my voice and said sternly, "Did he tell you he loved you when he beat you?"

"Yes!" she sobbed, finally coming to a stop, her tears flooding down her fragile face, "Now tell me why you think he loves you if he beats you and he does bad things to you." I told her, becoming less calm. She kept her mouth shut and shook her head, "Tell me why Lily." I said firmly.

"He just doesn't know how to show his love, and I frustrate him." She had been manipulated to the point of which she had truly believed these things. I had enough.

"So he beats you and forces you to have sex with him because he doesn't know how to show you he loves you?! Lily, how stupid do you have to be to realize that he doesn't love you! He made you go on a diet, he made you just lie down and have him beat you up, and he was the one that raped you and yet you still defend him?!" If it was possible, Lily cried even harder than she had ever cried in her entire life. It was heart wrenchingly painful to be a part of, but I knew that she needed to face this.

"If he doesn't love me, then who will?" She asked me, her brown eyes staring at me with fear. "Huh? Who is going to love me after this? I look terrible, I'm afraid of my own shadow, and I am a bulimic girl who can't keep a meal down."

"Lily, you don't really think that about yourself, do you?" I asked, shocked at what she had said, especially having it come from my daughter.

"It's the truth, isn't it?" She didn't want the answer that I was going to give her because he had given her a different answer.

"No, it isn't Lily."

"You liar!"

"I am not the one lying to you Lily; you've been the one who has been tortured into believing something that isn't true. People that love you do not torture you like that; they care about you and love you no matter what you look like or what you have been through." She kept on shaking her head no.

"You're lying, he loves me. I know it. I've betrayed him by telling, I was the one to let him down… and so I have to take my punishment, it's my fault he's going to prison. It's my fault that he is in so much trouble. And now because of me, I lost the only person that loves me." She whimpered, finally getting control of her hands and covering her face.

I heard a few footsteps come out of the shadows of the corners and I saw a dirty blonde haired boy stand, looking at my daughter with sympathetic eyes, "I love you Lily." She looked over to him and got off of the mattress, with all of her last might she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

He looked at me guiltily, but I just gave him a small smile, which he returned. My baby girl had grown up, and my baby girl had her own boy to hold her when she cried… I would just have to accept that. Then I realized what I had to do, "Matthew." I said, he quickly let go of Lily and immediately started to cower as I got up from the bed.

"Daddy-" but I held my hand up to her to silence her.

"Ummm… yes sir?" He asked as his knees were about ready to collapse on him.

I placed my firm hand onto his shoulder, he trembled even more, "I think something is well overdue and in order to do this, I must say…" His eyes widened even more as I said this.

"That I apologize for the first time that we met." He exhaled as if he hadn't been breathing for the past few seconds. Relief spread across the poor boy's face. "It was nothing sir, just a misunderstanding, uh, sir."

"You don't have to call me sir," I told him, and he gave a little laugh.

"Okay sir… uhmm, I mean... sorry."

"It's quite alright, I can see that my little girl is in good hands now, I should be going to talk to the head mistress about some things… but I will be back."

As I left the room I felt a small pang in my stomach.

My baby girl finally had the boy to wipe away her tears, hold her when she cries, and love her when she feels no one else will… I wish we had all realized it before.

_Well, obviously I didn't get to 300 reviews, and I haven't even replied to all of the reviews for the simple fact that I was up late last night and I was falling asleep, no kidding, writing review replies. I will try to reply to the rest of them before you read this, but I am not superman. In fact, to make it clear, I am not a man at all. As if you couldn't tell by my writing. ;)  
So you don't get a sneak peek on the sequel until I reach my goal! But I did over achieve on the views that I recieved, so thank you so much! For reading! I actually reached that goal within the first 15 hours of posting.  
But here was the catch that I have to let you guys in on, the longer it would take to achieve those 300 reviews, the less you will read about the sequel and who it is about. Within reason people, because I can't give away the whole plot. I hope with the last chapter that you guys could remember that I had a funny side to me, because everyone kept on telling me that my story was "dark" and "unpleasently good."  
I can have a laugh too, I actually like laughing.  
Anyhoo, I put up a new poll, horray :)  
And I guess that is it._

_Please Review, so that you can get a sneak peek at the sequel and what you can expect.  
When reviewing do not forget all that happened in the chapter! :) Miss Brown... Tee hee, I should have made it very clear with the "fashionablly late" thing but some people might not get it. And the "seventh year" fight thing was I would have thought that she would have had to repeat the year and Ginny would still be moving on and if she tried to maybe get her "Won Won" back that Ginny might have a problem with it since Ron is with Hermione._


	40. Well, are they any good?

**_Please Review_**

***Albus***

I watched in awe as one little finger of Addie's moved, that one movement uplifted my spirits as much as her waking up and kissing me right now could. Then, her whole hand twitched, it was a good twitch, not a bad one. That same hand moved over to the left slightly, then I knew what she had wanted. I got up and put her glasses back onto her face, she scrunched her face at first but she slowly moved upward. Her hand was still looking for something, she did not open her eyes, but she leaned over and touched my hand. At that very moment her eyes snapped open and she looked over to me. Her face softened when she saw me, and she even smiled. Addie's hand took mine and she just stared at our connected hands. After a few minutes had passed, she whispered in a raspy voice, "perfect."

Addie's eyes looked up to me now and she looked away, taking her hand back and putting it under the covers, "too perfect for me." I wondered what she had meant by that comment, but I just stared at her, completely amazed that she was alive and talking right now. "Addie, how do you feel?"

"Well… to be brutally honest…" she said, in her quiet tone, "you know what?" She said a little bit louder than before, "I feel absolutely good." Then something happened, she blurted out, "That was a lie, I'm not absolutely good, I'm terrible." She held tightly onto her stomach, as if something had just punched it. "I feel like I can do nothing right when everyone is watching and when I do something right someone is always there to overshadow me."

Her mood seemed to suddenly change like a snap, she looked at me dreamily and said, "How did you ever get to be so cute?" She pinched my cheek lightly and giggled.

"Ummm…"

"You're always so modest Al," She told me, "I wish everyone were as modest and as nice as you are." She batted her eyes in my direction; she was leaning on me with her elbows on my thighs.

Addie put her head in her hands and said, "Your thighs are really muscular, you must have to work out a lot, I bet you do, don't you."

In all of her glory, Addie had forgotten that her shirt was quite loose on her, and to be honest, if I wanted another look, I could have taken it, but I didn't. She caught herself and said, "Whoops!"

She sat back into her pillow again and stared at me, "Addie, I have to tell you something… I feel really bad about it… but I kind of saw your… upper half, naked when you were… out there." Oh Merlin, as if I couldn't have used another phrase than… out there.

Her smile became wider and she gave me this funny look, then she expected me to say more, but she just asked this instead of waiting for me, "Well, are they any good?"

She asked me this as if we had been talking about a Quidditch team and their lineup. How was a man supposed to answer this question without getting slapped in the face? "Excuse me?"

"Are they any good?" She repeated, looking down at herself and saying, "I know they aren't like, humungous or anything, but it's a C, so they aren't that small either. You did get a good look at them, didn't you?"

"Ummm… Well, actually, I don't think I did, because I fainted right afterwards…" I lied, of course I had a good look at them, they had been right there! Before I knew it, Addie was placing her fingers around the bottom of her shirt to pull it up, and I grabbed her hands, for fear of her father coming after me in the middle of the night. "Now that you mention it, I think I remember them a bit clearer."

"So you don't want to see them again?" She asked slyly, Addie knew just how to make any teenage boy tick.

"Now, I never said that-" Addie's smile grew even wider, "-but I think that I can wait until you're a bit better."

She acted as though she hadn't heard my second remark, and said, "Well, you never told me what you thought about them. I mean, are they good, bad, full, flat-"

I put my hand on her mouth, just to shut her up, and I said, "They were fine."

When I took my hand off of her mouth, she frowned, "Fine? Just fine?" She seemed slightly offended that I hadn't been a pig and said that her breasts were the greatest thing to ever grace the earth. "Not to seem too into myself, but I thought that they were more than just _fine._" Maybe it was spite that I heard hinted in her voice.

"You use the word fine for maybe the weather, or even a carpet, but never my boobs." She told me, not looking at me and crossing her arms.

"It was a lack of a vocabulary, I'm sorry, you are very…" Never had I ever been taught how to describe a girl's boobs to her, because I had never thought I would be forced into this situation. "Ummm… you're very…" I was begging for the right word to tell her, but she just looked at me, her breasts just mocking me as they were in front of her. "Ummm…"

"You would think that as much as someone stares at them like you do, you would know a word to describe them." Addie was determined to make this the most awkward conversation in the history of the times we have talked… which wasn't that many.

"They are very… smooth." As if I couldn't have said any more wrong things for the day, this had to be the very topping of my cake of words. Even though Addie's smile seemed to be planted back onto her face.

"Smooth, really?" She looked down again and made a strange noise, "Well, if you say so… but at least it's better than the word, fine."

Her eyes stared at mine, and she opened her mouth to speak, but then she closed it back up again. She wanted to tell me something, say something meaningful, but neither of us really knew what was going on.

"So, Addie, what happened that made you faint?" I knew that it was going to be asked sooner or later, and I wanted to know.

"I took a potion," she said simply, "it was as green as your perfect eyes and bubbling like your personality, so I knew I must have liked it, since I like you so much." Addie would never be this open with me… it must have been some side effect of the potion… but knowledge that every boy likes to hear.

"Addie, where was this potion that you got?" I asked her.

"In Berns' Office." She told me.

"When did you go there?" It seemed nearly impossible just to walk into the potions room, sneak a potion and then just leave the room without anyone noticing you.

"After Matt left me alone, but before I ran into Hugo," Her expression seemed to drop… I heard her whisper, "Lily."

We both felt that pang of guilt in our stomachs, Addie was getting up out of bed, and she pushed the curtain out of the way. With her bare feet hitting the floor, she ran out of the hospital wing. I ran after her, but I noticed Lily and Matthew Perks staring at me as I ran. I took a sharp left out of the hospital wing and I tried to keep up with Addie. "Addie! Wait!" She ran into the nearest girl's bathroom which was about 200 feet from me. I ran up to the door and I decided if I should go in or not.

After a few seconds of arguing with myself, I went in. There, I saw Addie with her head fully submerged in a sink full of water, her own hand pushing herself into the water as she screamed into it. "Addie!" I screamed, running over to her and pulling her out of the sink so she could breathe, but she still screamed. What was happening? She kicked and screamed with her eyes closed, "Addie, what the hell are you doing?!"

I heard a few footsteps behind me, but listening to the footsteps, I lost control of Addie, who went over to a mirror and smashed it with her fist. It shattered into thousands of pieces, and I started to hear her cry. I tried to go over to her, but someone held me back from her.

***Lily***

My hand pressed against Al's chest to keep him from going to get Addie. My knees shook nervously as I stepped forward to go to her. She smashed another mirror, but she only let out a louder sob. "Addie," I said quietly, "Addie, what are you doing?"

"Oh, it's you." She said nastily, but I could tell that it was not her, because her eyes seemed to have turned black, "Haven't done anything spectacular yet today have you? No matter, I'm sure you'll be right there doing something better to cover up my successes like you always have. You're always there to be better than me, always, not once have I done something good and have people remembered me for it. You on the other hand, all you have to do is be born and sleep with some guy out of nowhere so that you can hurt all of your friends especially Matt. How you could do that and still look at yourself in the morning, I have no idea."

I wasn't paying attention to what she was doing, but I was paying attention to her left hand, she had hit the mirrors so hard that she was now bleeding from getting cut.

"You have the perfect boy and you still don't realize it, you constantly have self pity and you have to suck it out of me so that you feel better. You always came to me after you got beaten up by Alex but you didn't want me to come and see you after you nearly drowned because of him? You even went so low as to erasing your own brother's memory to stick up for that little ass hole, but you had to go and sleep with him. You had to go and sleep with him, for a reason unknown to anyone." Her hand was covered in a light layer of blood, but she did not seem to notice, "You don't get in trouble for lying to everyone and how you sleep with any guy you get the chance with!"

Addie picked up something from off the floor and she threw it at me with such a force that it almost hit me. Someone jumped in front of me and shouted clearly, "Protego!" Their spell caused Addie to stay in what looked like a bubble. The figure turned around to me and yelled, "What is going on here?"

"She's the one that's the little whore and a trouble-maker, go on, tell them what you did Lily." Addie shouted through her bubble, trying to break through but not succeeding. I just now realized who it was that was standing in front of me, it was Professor Longbottom, Professor Berns, and a man that I have never met in my life before.

"Miss Abraham, that is no way to talk to a student, I should have thought less highly of you-"

"Professor, it isn't her fault that she is talking this way, well, it is in a way, but I'm sure that she didn't mean for it to happen…" Al tried to explain but Addie was not helping his case.

"She's the one you should be getting, always upstaging me, never letting me have the spotlight, not once. And when I thought she was maybe turning around, she goes and sleeps with Alex Harper, the boy that has been beating her up since the end of our third year! She never told anyone because she thought that Alex would kill her but now she's just being a little slut and sleeping with anyone that she can get her hands on!"

"She snuck into your classroom, Professor Berns, and she took a green bubbling potion, that probably was brewing for another class but then she fainted and she's been acting weirdly ever since…"

Addie had taken off her shoe and started banging it to try to get out, but she was only knocked off of her feet on every single attempt.

"You are correct Mr. Potter. It indeed was for my class tomorrow, but seeing as it has been tampered with I will not be able to use it. It enhances the drinker's feelings and makes them speak their mind, it is called, Bubble Up. Miss Abraham must have taken a large dose to have this kind of effect taking her, but she shouldn't have been tasting potions and sneaking into my classroom." Professor Berns told Al, as if he were the one to have done this. He turned to me, "Miss Potter, but this potion does not allow the drinker to lie about what they feel is the truth… so everything that she has said, is true, I am assuming."

"You're partly correct, sir." I said quietly, not believing that Addie actually thought all of those things about me. "And aren't you two supposed to be in the hospital wing right now, and you two in your beds?" He suggested to Al and Matt, but they opened their mouths to protest.

I heard the side comment to Professor Longbottom from the taller man, "Hey, I heard Lavender is here, blubbering at her son and scolding him. Is she really Alex Harper's mother?"

"Yes." I answered his question, looking straight at the taller man.

He smiled at me kindly and said, "I knew your mother quite well, we were… good friends." I vaguely remembered him from some of dad's old photos that he had… but I couldn't place a name to his face. But I did remember one thing about him, "You dated my mother, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, but she was better matched for your father I guess." He shrugged, and my memory came back a little bit more. "You and my mother broke up because my dad took lucky potion so that you two would break up-" Al clasped a hand over my mouth and shushed me. "Well, we better get going… well, she should get going so Addie doesn't tear her head off, alright, bye bye now." He shoved me out the door and looked at me dangerously, "What the hell were you thinking about doing that back there? Do you know what could have happened to you if I hadn't blocked that object from chopping off your head? You would have died Lily, and what is all this rubbish about Alex Harper and you erasing your brother's memory?"

I took a deep breath and told him, "Let's talk upstairs."

***Alex***

"My fingers itch boy," My mother snarled at me, pacing up and down the room, "I could just strangle you right about now." I sunk even lower into the chair.

"Ms. Brown, please, be reasonable." McGonagall said calmly, letting out a yawn.

"If anything, I am being nice to him, what an ungrateful little demon, your father warned me that he would turn you out this way, I just never thought that my little Alex could do such vile things." She ran her fingers through my hair, but not motherly, almost as a threat to pull all of my hair out.

"Ms. Brown, please. We need to wait for the Minister to come for a verdict." Another fifteen minutes went on with my mother pacing and threatening to do something to me, until the minister came. She was all nice to him, because he had power. Another red haired man with glasses came through the door with him along with Mr. Potter. Kingsley Shaklebolt towered over everyone else in the room.

"Well, what decision have you come to?" McGonagall asked, cutting out the chit chats and hellos.

"There will be a trail to determine Alexander Harper's fate, how long he will be imprisoned, or if he is imprisoned at all." Mr. Potter did not look happy about this decision that they had come up with, and neither did the red haired man with glasses. "But until this decision has been made, he will be kept in a locked room at the ministry where he will only be allowed to be visited once a week by one person at a time with an Auror in the room."

"You're basically putting him in a prison!" My mother shouted, "He is not a dog, and I will not stand to see my son for one time a week, I may come and see him whenever I want!"

"You may see him all the time if you would like to join him in prison," Mr. Potter told mother, who looked appalled at him.

"Harry Potter, I know you never liked me, but you see, I've changed. I am not the same girl who dated your best friend, please, show some mercy on my son." She signaled to me and for the first time, Mr. Potter looked me in the eyes.

His eyes full of hatred, he said, "I will show him no mercy. He raped my little girl. I can never forgive that."

I broke eye contact and stared at the ground. "Come on Alex, let's go now before we have to make a big scene about it."

My mother pushed me down, but I stood up, not going to disobey the Minister of Magic. "Alright." I told him, happy to get away from my mother and the hallowed halls of Hogwarts, for I knew that nothing could compare to the nightmares that filled my sleep every night.

But I was wrong.

_I never thought that I would have to be this person, but please please please please go and review right now. I need the reviews. Badly. I'm sorry to be doing this, but I had five last chapter and to be honest, I was a little disappointed coming home to no chapter reviews. I worked all day today to get this out and I'm really wondering if it is really worth it to do the sequel or not, because I definately have a lot to do and I don't have to get into that big mess of writing another whole story that would probably be bigger than this story. I didn't really try that much on the middle and last part of this chapter because I really just wanted to get one out there. Also, I wanted to point out how the people feel about Addie.  
When most of you were asked, you were more worried about Lily when she was about to fall off of the Astronomy Tower.  
But after that was done, and Addie wasn't mentioned for a few chapters, not one single reviewer told me to hurry up on learning about Addie.  
I'm trying to get you to realize how life is for Addie and how even in this story, she is somehow always overshadowed by Lily and it really bothers her so much that she had gone out and basically done the same thing Lily had done. Only less people paid attention.  
I have no time to update for basically the next three weeks. No kidding. Drama Practice till Nine every night until Opening Night, which is almost two weeks away. Saturday Practices from 7:30 till five then a Drumline Show till late hours, and then Me time on Sunday when I do homework and get a little time with my boyfriend. And not a whole lot, because our schedules suck like that._

_Things to remember while reviewing:  
Addie and Albus and their "talk"  
DEAN!  
Lavender  
and  
"too perfect for me." _


	41. A Promise

**_Please Review :)_**

I followed them down the hallways when I heard some familiar footsteps behind us. I heard a gasp and then those footsteps came even louder as they neared. Mr. Potter turned around and let out a low grunt, "Lily, honey, get out of here, you shouldn't be here, you need your rest…"

"Where are you taking him?" Her worried voice asked, I was glad that I couldn't see her face.

"He is going to be brought to the ministry until we can figure out what will happen to him, now, Lily, as your minister, I order you to go back up to the hospital wing and get rest immediately. You need rest." Kingsley Shaklebolt told her, but her footsteps did not falter.

"You can't take him to the ministry, he won't be able to go to school, how is he suppose to be able to not become an idiot?" Lily was being stupid and she was sticking up for me. If only she realized that she loved me back… then maybe we could forget about this.

"He won't need to be educated in Azkaban Lily, now go back to bed." I bowed my head and just listened to them. I closed my eyes and listened.

"You can't take him to Azkaban!" Her voice raised, "That's for adults, he's still a kid and he can't be trailed as an adult until he is seventeen."

"He was fully aware of his actions, and he committed horrible crimes, all against you, now Lily, do not make me say this again, go to bed."

"But not if I don't press charges against him dad, I'm the only one with that power, because I was the victim. You can't force me to charge him with a crime. He says he's sorry and I believe him."

"You can't always believe what people say Lily, you may be book smart but you are very naïve and you do not understand that all people are not good. I should know, I deal with these scumbags all of the time, now Lily, go back to the hospital wing."

"You don't know him. You did this with Matt too, you hated him before but you were wrong about him, weren't you."

"Matthew never did anything but sit in a tree house with you when you were younger, unlike Alex who used the Cruciartus Curse on you several times and he also invaided your mind, which made you very weak and vulnerable, now go to bed, Lily, this is Auror business that you don't have to put yourself in."

"Harry."

"Dad, he said he was sorry, you just don't trust anyone other than yourself about anything because you never could trust anyone. You're always spying on us kids and you hardly ever give us any freedom."

"But look what happens when I'm not around, you have two eating disorders, you get abused in several ways, and you have all of these "accidents." This isn't healthy Lily, not for anyone."

"Harry, please, control your daughter, she is making a scene."

"Shut up Percy and get the broomstick out of your arse," Mr. Potter told the red haired man.

"Dad, please don't do this, he said he was sorry!"

"He also told you he loved you, and Lily, that isn't love."

I felt her delicate arms wrap around my waist and her head was buried into my back, "Don't take him daddy, please."

"Harry…"

"Shut it Perce, now Lily, get off of this boy right now."

"No!" She shouted defiantly, I could feel a few tears escaping her eyes and leaking through to my shirt. "I will not!"

"Lily, do as I say right now, or you won't be able to do anything this summer besides sit in your room and stare at the ceiling."

Her voice did not tremble or falter, "No."

"Harry, get your daughter off of him, we might miss the portkey." The guy with the broomstick up his arse said.

"Lily, get off, we will discuss this later."

"No, you're going to kill him!" Lily wailed.

"What? Who said anything about killing him?"

"Harry, we don't have time for this-"

"You're going to kill him and it's all because of me, I'm the one that told, I shouldn't have told anyone! I'll do anything, just please don't kill him, please."

"That is enough." My eyes opened.

I felt Lily's grip on me tighten, and she wrapped her one leg around me, as if that would stop them from taking her off of me. I felt another force, pulling Lily back, it was her father trying to pull her off of me like a leech. "Lily let go, you can't do anything for him now."

"You're already acting as though he's dead!" Lily blubbered into my sweater, "I won't let you kill him. If you kill him, you kill me too!"

"Lily, stop making such a scene…"

"Kill me right now, it would do me a pleasure because everyone hates me besides the one guy that you are taking away from me. Kill me daddy, kill me." I felt everyone's heart break at the same time. Even Matthew Perks, who was nowhere to be seen, but probably wouldn't be able to take it.

"Lily, let's talk about this later, once you've calmed down and gotten a little more rest…"

"No, we will talk about this now!" She shouted, her nails digging into my chest and her feet had a tight lock around me, "I won't let you take him away from me, why do you always do this to me?"

"Harry, the portkey."

"Lily, let go of him, right now." Mr. Potter ordered.

"No! You're going to kill him, you're going to kill him," Lily sobbed, holding me tighter, not letting go of me. "I won't let you kill him!"

"We won't kill him Lily, I promise you."

"Your words mean nothing to me." Lily spat, "You'll kill him, you're going to kill him."

"Lily," I spoke to her softly, "I will be fine."

"They're going to kill you!" Lily sobbed even harder than before into the back of my shirt, soaking it completely through.

"Harry, the portkey will leave without us if we don't get to it in time." The red haired man snapped, as if we were going to be late.

I felt one hard tug, but I was pulled out of the minister's and the red haired man's grasp as Lily held onto me tightly as her father tried to pull her off of me. "Just let me say goodbye." Lily pleaded, almost not able to hold onto me any longer.

The force stopped and he muttered, "Make it quick."

Lily finally let go of me and took me by the hand to a near corridor. Her eyes were bloodshot and more tears were streaming down her face, she looked at me straight in the face and slapped me as hard as she could. Her face did not flinch and her eyes did not move from my face, "Don't you ever dare disagree with me again, in front of my father! You know what they are going to do, you know that your days are limited, yet you're just being this complete arse and going along with the plan." Her face lit up with pure rage, "Don't you ever dare do that to me again Alex Harper."

I rubbed my cheek quietly, making sure that I didn't say anything wrong to her again, because that bloody well hurt.

She stopped breathing heavily and stared at me, "You're really okay with this, aren't you?"

"There is no point in fighting a losing battle." I told her, her gaze softened as she looked at me, the tears slowly forming back in her eyes. I wiped a tear off of her cheek and she gave me a weak smile, "I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone, because I'm not worth your tears Lily, I really am not."

This made her tear up even more, "But then who will love me?"

I paused for a little bit, swallowed my pride, and told her, "There will be other people."

She pushed her face into my chest and let out a loud sob that would probably wake up most portraits near, as if they weren't already eavesdropping. "But I love you."

I swallowed hard on my air, but this helped me none. "Lily, you don't love me, you just think you love me… because that's what I wanted you to believe."

Lily was three feet away from me, when she marched right up to me, and kissed me. She put her heart and soul into that one kiss that she gave me. Her hands were wrapped around my head while I wrapped my arms around her waist gently.

This was when I knew that I would be able to make it through Azkaban, if she waited for me, then we could spend a life together after I was released. This one kiss could get me through a million years in Azkaban, if I knew that Lily would be waiting for me when I got out.

When we broke apart, I whispered to her, "Promise me something?"

"Anything," she whispered back, looking up into my eyes, looking as though she wanted to kiss me again.

"Wait for me, after I get out of Azkaban, so that we can start over; a fresh new start for the both of us." I hummed into her ear sweetly.

"Anything for you," she breathed, jumping on me and wrapping her legs around me as I thankfully caught her in my arms. Lily kissed me as though she had never kissed me before, my senses seemed to all have gone away and it was just the two of us in the room. No one else was there to bother us or tell us to stop. Her fingers were sliding through my hair as I held on tightly to her back. Then, she let out a long moan. It had not been like before, but this time, she moaned as if she liked it.

She took a hold of my tie and played with it in her fingers. But our blissful moment ended when we were blasted apart by a spell. I hit the wall, while Lily was caught by her father. "I think you've said enough goodbyes, now, go."

Mr. Weasley kept an even tighter grip onto my arm, Mr. Shaklebolt holding my other arm. They walked me down the hallway, this time; I heard no footsteps behind us. However, I did hear Lily struggle, as if her father was keeping her from escaping his grasp. "Let me go!" She told him angrily.

This time, I knew it had been our last goodbye. Lily wasn't that strong to get out of an Auror's grasp, let alone, Harry Potter's grasp. This didn't keep her from voicing her opinion, "I love you! I love you!" She sobbed out, almost as if she were in… pain.

With those parting words, I knew that I could make it through any amount of time spent in Azkaban.

_Here is your final proposal. You review this chapter, you get the sneak peek to the sequel, if you don't review. No sneak peek. :) I'm so mean sometimes, but still. Oh, and until I get 14 reviews, no one finds out what happens, no one will get a review reply. :/ So start typing :) I hate to be so mean like this... and a few of you will be livid at how Lily is acting and frustrated how she can say she loves two guys at the same time. But most of you will probably be most mad when she said, "Anything for you."_

_Things to remember when reviewing...__  
""I love you, I love you!" She sobbed out, almost as if she were in... pain."  
The kisses that she so... willingly, gave.  
Percy, with the broomstick up his arse.  
Lily hit him.  
and  
What would Matt be feeling right now if he came in and saw this?_


	42. A promise not intended to keep

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

***Addie***

Once the bubble had popped, I bolted out of the bathroom, only to be caught by Matt who was breathing heavily and trying to keep me from running after Lily. "Addie, knock it off! You don't know the whole truth, it isn't what you think."

"Oh the hell it isn't, Matt, if anything, I would have thought that you would have been the first one to start yelling at Lily! I mean, look at what she's done to your life! I'm the only one defending you, but you're holding me back! I don't understand, why does everyone have so much sympathy for Lily but when someone else has a problem, no one is there to listen?!" I screamed, Matt kept on flinching at my high pitched voice.

"Addie, what has gotten into you? What happened? Because obviously, this isn't just about Lily. What happened?" He was almost shaking me in his arms, his eyes staring at mine. Tears glistened my eyes; Matt had been so strong throughout all of this… I just couldn't tell him the bad news… I couldn't put that on his shoulders too.

"I-I" stuttering would get me nowhere, maybe I should tell someone... maybe it would be good to tell someone.

***Lily***

"Lily, calm down," Al held me as I started to sob into his arms. "Shhh… it's alright, you're alright now."

I felt this sense of calmness surge through my body and I felt the impelling need to go up two flights of stairs where something would be waiting for me… I got out of Al's grasp and stopped crying within an instant.

Two flights of stairs I walked up, always hearing footsteps behind me, but I never thought to look back at who it had been. Then, I saw a bottled potion… I must drink it. My heart and brain both screamed "NO!" but I downed the potion before I could say anything. I was doing these things, but why was I doing them? I then saw Mrs. Harper behind me, while she was placing her wand back into her pocket. The potion bubbled all the way down my throat, leaving a bad after taste.

"Let's see how well Harry Potter likes it when his own daughter shows him his own wrongs. He will regret not doing anything for my Alex." Mrs. Harper sneered.

I felt compelled now to go find Alex and confess my undying love for him… but wait, I loved Matt, didn't I? Why was this happening to me? What was going on? I don't like Alex… that last kiss meant nothing. Nothing.

My chance had come all too… timely, because Alex was just turning the corner with my uncle, Kingsley, and my dad. For some reason I felt the need to run to him, as if this was urgent news that could not be told later… or ever.

When I finally reached them, dad let out a low growl, "Lily, honey, get out of here, you shouldn't be here, you need your rest…" This was just an excuse to not let me be there, and we all knew it. He didn't want me to see this bastard get put away in prison.

"Where are you taking him?" I asked stupidly, not even controlling my words.

"He is going to be brought to the ministry until we can figure out what will happen to him, now, Lily, as your minister, I order you to go back up to the hospital wing and get rest immediately. You need rest." Kingsley was going against me too, probably because he knew dad better and thought that I was just acting like a little kid whining about a best friend who would be "moving."

"You can't take him to the ministry, he won't be able to go to school, how is he suppose to be able to not become an idiot?" I was trying to buy time.

"He won't need to be educated in Azkaban Lily, now go back to bed." Dad was acting like an auror again… when he was around the ministry, he acted like an auror. But if mum was around then he would be nicer… except to me.

"You can't take him to Azkaban!" I said frantically, why had I become so worried all of the sudden? Why did I care if he was in a cell for the rest of his pathetic life? The truth was, I didn't. "That's for adults, he's still a kid and he can't be trailed as an adult until he is seventeen!"

"He was fully aware of his actions, and he committed horrible crimes, all against you, now Lily, do not make me say this again, go to bed." My father tried to be firm, but he was fighting a battle he would not win.

I raised my voice a little bit more, "But not if I don't press charges against him dad, I'm the only one with that power, because I was the victim. You can't force me to charge him with a crime. He says he's sorry and I believe him."

"You can't always believe what people say Lily, you may be book smart but you are very naïve and you do not understand that all people are not good. I should know, I deal with these scumbags all of the time, now Lily, go back to the hospital wing." He scolded, trying to teach me a life lesson, but it wasn't working.

"You don't know him. You did this with Matt too, you hated him before but you were wrong about him, weren't you." Why was I sticking up for him? I don't like him… I don't.

"Matthew never did anything but sit in a tree house with you when you were younger, unlike Alex who used the Cruciartus Curse on you several times and he also invaded your mind, which made you very weak and vulnerable, now go to bed, Lily, this is Auror business that you don't have to put yourself in." And this was when I knew that dad was going to be a berk.

"Harry." Percy mumbled.

"Dad, he said he was sorry, you just don't trust anyone other than yourself about anything because you never could trust anyone. You're always spying on us kids and you hardly ever give us any freedom." I added, and it was true, he never gave us any freedom to do what we wanted.

"But look what happens when I'm not around, you have two eating disorders, you get abused in several ways, and you have all of these "accidents." This isn't healthy Lily, not for anyone." He was pulling the rape and abuse card on me. Not cool. Not cool at all.

"Harry, please, control your daughter, she is making a scene." Uncle Percy never did like me in the first place. Even though I had the most in common with him, we both were the black sheep of the family and we equally hated family gatherings.

"Shut up Percy and get the broomstick out of your arse," Dad muttered to Percy.

"Dad, please don't do this, he said he was sorry!" I felt my own eyes shed tears, why was this happening? I didn't want to say this stuff.

"He also told you he loved you, and Lily, that isn't love." Somewhere inside me, I felt angry that he was lying to me.

I went to my last resort, crying and begging, "Don't take him daddy, please."

"Harry…" Percy warned.

"Shut it Perce, now Lily, get off of this boy right now." I didn't understand why dad had given him the nickname "Perce" but it was actually really annoying. So was dad's attitude.

"No!" I felt my voice rise even higher. "I will not!"

"Lily, do as I say right now, or you won't be able to do anything this summer besides sit in your room and stare at the ceiling." This was not much of a punishment since I did basically this most summers that I have had… it was what I had done last summer with the occasional sob and interruption of Alex.

I told him defiantly, "No."

"Harry, get your daughter off of him, we might miss the portkey." Uncle Percy may have had that broomstick shoved up his arse for quite some time; I think he should get that checked out.

"Lily, get off, we will discuss this later." He would just tell me what he was going to do about the situation and not let me have a say in the decision, this is what would happen.

"No, you're going to kill him!" I cried out, knowing that this would happen but I never felt like I cared too terribly much about it, not enough to cry anyways.

"What? Who said anything about killing him?" Asked dad, who was falling for my fake tears.

"Harry, we don't have time for this-" I interrupted Uncle Percy who seemed irritated.

"You're going to kill him and it's all because of me, I'm the one that told, I shouldn't have told anyone! I'll do anything, just please don't kill him, please." I pleaded to him.

"That is enough." Dad was up to his level of patience, I had broken him, finally.

I grabbed onto Alex for dear life as my dad tried to pull me off with the Jaws of Life but I somehow held on, "Lily let go, you can't do anything for him now."

"You're already acting as though he's dead!" I cried, pushing my face into Alex's sweater. "I won't let you kill him. If you kill him, you kill me too!"

"Lily, stop making such a scene…" Percy muttered.

"Kill me right now; it would do me a pleasure because everyone hates me besides the one guy that you are taking away from me. Kill me daddy, kill me." I struggled to look into my dad's eyes, but I somehow managed. He looked so shocked… if only he knew what I had been up to just a few hours ago…

"Lily, let's talk about this later, once you've calmed down and gotten a little more rest…" he tried to regain his composure but I had shattered all of his confidence and he had become more like a father and less like an auror.

"No, we will talk about this now!" I wailed, "I won't let you take him away from me, why do you always do this to me?"

"Harry, the portkey." Percy reminded dad.

"Lily, let go of him, right now." Dad snapped out of father mode and became a stuck up auror again.

"No! You're going to kill him, you're going to kill him," I screamed. "I won't let you kill him!"

"We won't kill him Lily, I promise you." A lie, but why did this bother me so much? And why was I acting this way? I wasn't even controlling what I said.

"Your words mean nothing to me. You'll kill him; you're going to kill him." I told him.

"Lily," Alex's voice finally sounded in a whisper, "I will be fine."

"They're going to kill you!" I cried into him.

"Harry, the portkey will leave without us if we don't get to it in time." It's not like Percy really cared about getting to bed right now.

Dad had his one last attempt to pull me off of Alex when I shrieked, "Just let me say goodbye." My fingers were almost not able to hold together.

He gave me an angry glare and said, "Make it quick."

I grabbed onto his hand and lead him to a corridor where we would be alone. I stopped and turned to him, looking at his eyes. I looked up at him and slapped him with all of my might and even a little bit more than I thought I had. I was filled with rage, at what I had said and how I could not control what I said or did, but I was glad that I slapped him, because in real life, I would have never done that, for the fear of him striking back, but he just rubbed his cheek as if it had hurt a lot. "Don't you ever dare disagree with me again, in front of my father! You know what they are going to do, you know that your days are limited, yet you're just being this complete arse and going along with the plan. Don't you ever dare do that to me again Alex Harper."

I looked at him and he looked overly calm and at ease, "You're really okay with this, aren't you?"

"There is no point in fighting a losing battle." He tried to tell me as if I would be very hurt by this news, but I knew he was right. I felt tears slowly form in my eyes, why was I so sad about something that I clearly did not care about? But he seemed to be taking me seriously… He wiped off one of the tears that had escaped my eyes, "I don't want you to be sad when I'm gone, because I'm not worth your tears Lily, I really am not."

Maybe I had been looking at Alex in the worst ways… could he actually care about me? Was he really just confused as to how he should have loved me?

So I asked this question, whether I wanted to or not, "But then who will love me?"

He thought about it for a while then told me, "There will be other people."

We both were thinking Matt, but I didn't say anything.

"But I love you." Another big fat lie.

"Lily, you don't love me, you just think you love me… because that's what I wanted you to believe." But the question was, did he truly love me back? Because that would complicate this situation even more…

I didn't know what had come over me, but I walked right up to him, and kissed him full on the mouth. I put all of my emotions, worries, fears, and anger into that one kiss. I put my hands on the back of his head; he put his hands around my waist.

The kiss lasted longer than I wanted it to, and it had more tongue than ever needed…

He muttered, "Promise me something?"

"Anything," I responded in the same volume.

"Wait for me, after I get out of Azkaban, so that we can start over; a fresh new start for the both of us." He whispered into my ear. My first reaction was, NO WAY IN HELL! But this was what came out of my mouth… "Anything for you,"

I lunged at him for another kiss that had also, too much tongue for anyone, especially Alex and I. I wrapped my legs around his tiny figure. I felt like I was going to crush him, even though I was smaller than he was, but Matt was bigger than he was. Then to my astonished horror, I let out a moan of… delight.

Dad blasted us apart and kept me in his arms. "I think you've said enough goodbyes, now, go."

Percy grabbed onto Alex, forcing him to get up. They became less clear and smaller by the minute they walked, I was attempting to get out of my father's grasp by kicking and screaming like a little baby, "Let me go!"

Then, with these words, I ran into a flashback of just two nights past…

"_Let me go!" I screamed, wishing that he would stop, and worrying if someone were to come in, then they might blame me. "Let me go Alex! Please, you've had your fun, now stop it!"_

"_Tell me you love me." He panted angrily, with such a force that I knew I would not be able to get away from him. Not that I could anyways…_

"_SAY IT!" He bellowed at me._

"_I love you!" I cried out, he had been harder and it hurt more when he was angry… it hurt a lot more. "I love you, I love you, I love you" tears streamed down my face as I sobbed._

Without realizing, I had been screaming out, "I love you! I love you!" The same way I had been two nights ago… I felt that pain surge through my body once again and I felt even more violated than I had before.

The pain was still there, but how long would this pain stay? Days, weeks, months, or even years? I didn't know, but I did know one thing for sure. Alex would not be happy to find out if I disobeyed him… he wouldn't like it at all.

_My hands actually hurt from typing out all of those review replies in such a short amount of time... *sigh* Well, hello there! Long time no read huh? Not really but for me it seems like I haven't talked to you in forever! Well... that's not true. Anyhoo.... 15 of you reviewed the last chapter, which was so awesome, but one of you failed to sign in which meant you failed because you could not get the sequel sneak peek! But no fear to anyone who did not review, I will post it on my story some time after I know that everyone that did review, has read it.  
I'm sorry for being a little short with a few of you but I was just really annoyed and I was lacking in sleep and I was being a smartass and yeah. Sorry for that. And it is suppose to be "berk" not "jerk" because I looked it up in British Slang. :) I try too hard I think. I also found so many dirty things on there! I normally am I very sheltered person and most people that know me and actually read my stories are shocked to find this one because it's "M" and for a reason.  
I also wanted to know why so many people had an obsession with Matt and Lily being together. I was confused.  
Which leads me to my last statement. A whole hell of a lot of you were very infuriated at fictional characters. I hope you do know that... and you got all hot headed for nothing because what you thought wasn't true. So... next time, don't get so angry and mean. Cause that sucked replying to most of your reviews and it was kind of like... wow, why are you telling me this? You want to hit a fictional character that I created... Um, sorry, but you can't, cause they aren't real.  
Again, I'm sorry, but I am stressed out and I won't be able to update until like... not next Tuesday but the Tuesday after that because it is preformance week for our showing of "Father of the Bride" and yes, it is like the Steve Martin movie but it was a book and a play before the movie ever came out! So ha. And no, I don't have even a supporting role. I am an extra. And no, I don't even have an understudy. So yes, I do feel pretty useless until 9:30 every night. 3:30 to 9:30 with nothing but standing looking at cakes/sitting or standing taking a picture... ooooo, the glamour of the stage...._

_Things to remember when reviewing:  
The Sequel Sneak Peek- What you thought.  
Addie's Secret- Ooooooo.  
Lily- Are you ready to take your words back about hating  
The vision- Are you back to hating Alex again, because if you are then boo on you.  
"I love you! I love you!"- Where you surprised to find out that it was mental pain and slightly emotional pain and not physical pain? I go through all the pain in this story... a lot.  
Anything else you want to talk about that has to deal with my story._

_Things to come:  
Addie  
and  
Al_


	43. Perfection

***Albus***

"Addie?" I asked as she was running by me, but I caught her somehow in my arms. She was kicking at me and screaming so loud that no one else could understand what she was trying to say.

"Whoa, slow down Addie, what's going on?" She wasn't paying attention; she just kept on trying to get out of my grasp. "Addie, Addie, ADDIE!" She was much stronger than Lily was and she could almost get out of my arms within an instant. "ADDIE!" I yelled in desperation. "Addie, knock it off!"

She finally stopped tugging, and she turned around to look up at me. Her face was red and blotchy and there were tears streaming down her face. "Why didn't you tell me what happened to Lily?" Addie demanded, several tears slowly escaping her eyes and landing down on her cheeks. "You just let me believe that she cheated on Matt for no good reason?"

"What are you talking about Addie, I don't know anything about what happened between Lily and Alex Harper and I don't want to know…"

"So you didn't know that he raped her?" This wasn't as much of a question, as much of an interrogation aimed at me. "Matt just told me. Why didn't anyone tell me before now? Why is my life so fucked up?!" This was the first time that I had heard Addie openly swear in front of me. She cried into me, she even started to hyperventilate and she was going to make herself sick if she kept on doing this.

"Addie, what happened in between the time that Matt left you, and the minute that you took that potion?" I asked her, trying to get her to make eye contact, but she wouldn't look at my face. If it was humanly possible, Addie cried even harder into my sweater that my grandma had knitted me last Christmas. "What happened to you Addie?" I asked a little more calmly and my voice was quieter.

"I got a letter," she sobbed, "It was from my mum…"

"And what did she say?" I asked tentatively, as more tears streamed from her precious dark blue eyes. She couldn't get the words out; she seemed to struggle so much. "Addie, you can tell me anything."

"S-She said… S-She told me…" her lips trembled and she just wailed even more into my sweater before being able to complete her sentence. "There was an accident." She finally spit out, as her face turned slightly blue. Her eyes seemed to throb, and her heart beat fast.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to Addie." I reassured her, but she shook her head no. "I-I w-want t-t-to t-tell you." She sniffled out. "Y-You s-should know."

"Take your time, everything is alright…" We both knew that I was lying.

I wiped several of her tears off and we both sat down, she sat on my lap and curled up into a tight ball. Her arms were wrapped around me and her head rested against my abdomen.

"My mum sent me an owl… a-and there was an accident with my little brother and my dad…" Addie talked weakly as she shook in fear, "t-they were… they are…" her lips barely trembled out the words, "they were murdered."

I didn't know what to say… I tried to calm her down, but she kept on muttering to herself, and she would not stop hyperventilating. "I need to get to my mother… my sister needs me, I have to go home… I can't stay here. There were too many bad memories here… Too many people were shattered here… Too much pain… Too much perfection…"

"What do you mean too much perfection?" I asked, but she only cried harder.

"My dad always wanted me to be the best… he always wanted what was best for me… he always wanted me to succeed. I've failed him. I am the shame that was his shattered life. I couldn't have been a worse daughter, I have failed him… I let him down. I never made him proud enough to tell me that I did a good job. It didn't matter to him that I had straight A's, it didn't matter to him that I had become a Ravenclaw, he wanted me to be the best… and I never could be. I have failed." Addie shook even harder and her face was becoming very pale. Not one inch of her body could stay still for longer than two seconds. The tears flooded down her face, "All I wanted was to be good enough for my dad…"

"Addie, how could you think that you aren't good enough? In my eyes, you are perfect. You may not do everything right, but no one does, but in the end you always do the right thing. Which makes you the person that you are now. You are just a good person that gets put into bad situations, all the time. I'm sorry for everyone focusing on Lily and you getting put in the shadows… but I want to change that." I told her, and with her blotchy red eyes she looked up at me.

"You think I'm perfect?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes, I do." She nestled her head into my sweater and took in a deep breath. "My mom wants to move us to France… so that I can study abroad there… since Lily probably won't be able to come back to Hogwarts next year… I don't think that she wants to be in that house anymore anyways…"

No, this couldn't be happening to me. When I finally was getting close to Addie, she was going to be MOVING?! Why had my fate turned to this?

"No." I told her flat out, right then and there, "You can't move."

"I don't have any other choice, my mom already decided… we're leaving right after the funeral… we'll be stopping by in the summer… but mum was already transferred by her boss. She starts on Tuesday…" Addie murmured, her lips barely moving as she spoke these words.

"I won't let you go, you have to stay here. This is your home, Addie; I can't let you go to France. What about us?" I asked desperately, as if this was going to change her mother's mind.

"I guess… we'll have to forget…" She mumbled with several new tears rolling down her cheeks, "I don't want this to happen just as much as you do, but I'm not of age yet…"

"You can live with us," I suggested hastily, "You can live with Lily in her room, and you will feel at home with all the books on their shelves in Alphabetical order."

"My mom would never go for that," She shot down my suggestion but she finally looked at my face, "but I would love to stay with your family… I just think that my mum and sister would miss me too much…"

"You can visit them by floo network; you could see them every day in the summer. Please, just don't go to France. I don't think I could handle losing you after everything that's happened." I pleaded, holding her tighter. She just cried even harder.

"I can't lose you either, and we'll see each other… just, we'll have to… wait. And it wasn't like we were going to see each other much during the school year since I would be at school and you would be working…" Why wasn't she fighting this as much as I was? Why was I trying so hard. but Addie had already given up?

"You can't give up on us, we've just barely started Addie, how could you be so willing to leave what you've always known?" I asked, a little shaken myself at this news.

"I might be needed there…"

"No, you're needed here. Right here, in my arms. Otherwise my arms will forever and always be empty. You need to be here, you need to stay with me. Addie, please fight this." I pleaded, playing with her beautiful long hair that smelled so sweet in the summertime.

"I don't want to fight anymore, there has been too much fighting and hate in this world already. I couldn't leave my family, they need me. My sister needs me to be strong for her." She told me quietly, her rosy lips whispering her words.

"I can be strong for the both of us, please Addie, you can't go." I begged her to stay. How could I move on from Addie? There would be no way.

"You are not making this move on me easier, I don't want to move just as much as you don't want me to move but it's what's going to be happening. I can't control it… No matter what I do, my mum will take me kicking and screaming if she has to. She's rented a hotel for now until we can move because she can't stand to see any of my dad's old stuff. I bet I won't be able to bring half of my dad's stuff to France because it will have too much sentimental value." Addie moped.

"I can keep it at my house so that you can still have it. You can put everything in a box and give it to me, I'll make sure that it's safe and I won't let anyone near it. I just want to feel like I'm being useful to you right now… I just feel like a burden." I admitted, Addie was not the kind of person you could really lie to, partly because she would call you on it if you did, and she had this caring personality.

"That would be nice." She told me, putting her head more into my chest. "I just don't want everyone to worry about me, so could you please not tell anyone, even Lily? Especially Lily, I don't want to upset her even more than I already have…"

I didn't want to agree to it, but I didn't want Addie to cry again, so I said, "Alright, I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." She told me in a quiet voice. "I appreciate it… I don't want all of the sympathy."

"Addie?" I asked.

"Yeah?" She wondered.

"I think… no I'm pretty sure… no. I'm positive, that I love you." I had spit it out, and she looked up to my eyes once again. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, that's what sucked so much about Addie. You could never tell her true feelings unless she told them to you.

She breathed deeply, in and out, in and out. Although she did not speak, "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that, and it's alright that you don't feel the same way… I understand, completely… well, no I don't but-"

Addie placed her hands on my cheeks and said, "I love you too."

I smiled at her as I heard the morning bird start to sing. I had finally told Addie how I felt, and I knew she felt the same way… She found my sweater again and put her head into it. When I asked her fifteen minutes later what she thought about the bird, she did not answer. Her heart beat steadily against mine as her deep breaths soothed even the angriest beast. Her eyes closed, I guessed that we all needed to sleep. I took her in my arms and I walked up to the infirmary. She didn't ask questions when we got in, but she gave me a nod from her office window.

I placed her on the bed and shut the curtain, she tossed a little bit and looked at me, trying to get up. "Shhh, no, go back to sleep." But she took my hand and pulled me over to her bed. "Stay" she whispered drowsily.

"But I have to-" she put her finger to my lips and shushed me. "Keep me safe." Addie pulled me even closer to her and made me lay beside her. I wrapped my arms around her and I was as close to her as I could be. She let out a relieving sigh and with this breath she whispered, "Perfect."

_My favorite chapter by far in this story. Please Review and tell me what you thought._


	44. Checking In

**_Please Review! c:_**

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

A white room with white walls had never seemed so dirty to me. They had put me into this white jumpsuit that was tight on my skin and they had shoved me into this room.

"_Daddy, I'm fine, I don't need to be here," I had reassured him, but he just looked stony faced at what was in front of him. "This place is for sick people dad, and I am not sick. I am your normal little perfect angel, please, just take me back home and we can settle this…"_

_His green eyes seemed to have become pale. He did not look at me, but his grip was tight around my wrist. "Daddy, I don't belong here… see, it's full of dying people, and I'm not dead. I'm not even close, please let me go home."_

_Dad's voice was harsh when he said, "Lily, every second, of every minute, of every day, we are all reaching closer to death. Some of those seconds go by faster than others, but some seem to go on forever, but as that second passes, you are just that much closer to death. You are not any better than these people here. Look at her Lily," he pointed to a girl in a wheelchair who was a little bit fatter than I was. I felt sort of sorry for her. To have to live with all of that fat on you mocking you for the rest of your life must be unbearable. "She is recovering from what you have, and that is partially why you are here… to get better."_

"_Take me home dad, please, I am begging you, I don't belong here." I was now realizing that we were not just visiting this place. We were checking in…_

"_Lily, this is for sick people, and you are sick and your mother and I want you to get better. The only way that we found best fit would be to take you here, because they can help you here… They know what to do, while your mother and I don't know how to handle your… situation." My mother let out several sobs from under dad's arm. She had used several tissues just getting from Hogwarts to St. Mungo's._

"_Mom, I'm healthy, I might catch a disease here. Please take me home. I'm just a little tired, that's all… Mom, please take me home." She sobbed even harder into her tissues and she would surely make herself sick this way._

_Dad leaned more towards mum to whisper to her, "She needs this Ginny, please be strong for us. She needs to be here. No matter how much she may say that she dislikes us until later, we have to stay as one on this." If it would be possible, she sobbed even harder._

"_Mom, please take me home. You know that I don't need to be here. This is for other people, sick people, and I am not sick, so I shouldn't be here."I took my mother's hand as I had always did when I was younger, "please mom, don't make me stay here."_

_She cried and blew her nose into a handkerchief that dad had handed to her. We went up to a desk and dad said quietly, "We are here to check in our daughter, Lillian Potter." A woman whipped around with her eyes all puffy and red, her lips quivered as she looked at dad. Mom let out a loud groan, but dad seemed slightly concerned._

"_Always a damn blubbering mess…" Mum muttered to herself as she wiped off her tears. "Cho, are you alright?" Dad asked to cover up mum's whispers to herself._

"… _Well, no. I am not." She told him honestly, I looked up at her and she looked down at me, her eyes filled with tears. She wiped off the tears and sniffed, "Have you said anything to Addie before you had left?"_

"_She was too busy yelling at me," I told her through my teeth, and her frown made it further down her face, "Well I suppose she was just trying to get through this… in her own way. She never could figure out her emotions until she would burst. I had hoped that you could speak to her before… you know, but I guess she was just too upset."_

"_I guess so." I mumbled angrily, remembering Addie's hurtful words._

_Mrs. Abraham looked at me once, and then she gave me a second glance, "Well… let's get you up to the examination room and we will see what to do from there."_

So now I sit in this white room with white walls and a white door in a white jumpsuit that was sucking in my skin. Then a woman with blue scrubs came into the room and she locked the door behind her. In a calm voice she asked me, "Hello Lily, may I ask you a few questions?"

"You just did, now can I have my mom come in here? I really need to talk to her," I said, tapping my foot nervously on the floor. The healer held onto her clipboard tightly and fixed her glasses, watching me closely and taking down notes as I tapped my foot nervously on the floor.

"First I would like to talk to you alone, about what has been happening in your life, starting with your childhood." The lady said calmly, having a chair appear and she swept it up from underneath my butt and had me sit down and I could not move my arms or legs.

"What about my childhood?" I demanded, not ready to release my whole history of being teased by two brothers and not fitting in with anyone in my family. I was over it… I think.

"Lily, if you will not cooperate, I will have no other choice but to make you tell me." The lady told me angrily.

"How can I spill my heart and soul out to you if I don't even know your name?" I asked her, and her face scrunched up.

"My name is Mrs. Malfoy," she sneered, but I was quick to drop my jaw, "As in Scorpius Malfoy's mother?"

"Yes." She told me, her teeth were not moving with her lips. "Now answer my questions or I will have to use force."

She ended up giving me several mouthfuls of Veritaserum before my tongue really loosened up. I told her all about Alex, Matt, Addie, and everyone else at school as long as she would listen. She kept on writing down on her clipboard as I told her about absolutely everything going on in my life. I even saw tears welling up into her eyes as I told her about three nights ago. After five hours of getting my whole life story and much more than she wanted to hear, Mrs. Malfoy thanked me and left the room.

o00o0o0o0o0o

I lifted my head up just in time to watch Astoria come out of the room, she had written several pages on that clipboard, I wanted to look but she kept it close to her. She came down and sat in between Harry and I. Her face was grave, "I don't believe that your daughter has told you half of the horrors that have filled her life, but then again, maybe she has now… but I suggest that you talk to her before the Veritaserum wears off, since she has a history of lying to others… After you leave we can do a fitness exam and we can get her situated into a nice bed where she can get some well deserved sleep… but I must warn you. Lily had very baggy clothing when coming, but you can see a major difference in your daughter from the time she walked in here to right now… I will leave you two alone and you may go in whenever you are ready."

We thanked Astoria and we got up to walk over to the door, my hand was on the doorknob but it would not turn, I couldn't bear it. Lily had not told us much of anything since her third year at Hogwarts; she had always been so secretive… I never understood until this moment.

"You can do it Ginny, just grab and twist," Harry coaxed, when I did, I let out a scream of shock. I had never seen Lily without clothing that did not fit her, but when I had, I could she her rib line and every single one of her ribs. "Lily, what have you done to yourself?!"

"Don't you think I'm pretty now mum? I'm not fat anymore!" She said all too excitedly, I nearly fainted but Harry caught me when I fell, I struggled to get up and say, "Honey, you were never fat and you were always pretty. Now, there isn't anything left of you!"

Harry looked at Lily and he had apparently seen this last night since he was not in as much of a shock as I was.

"At first I thought that I wasn't fat too, but then Alex-"

"Is this another thing that he did to you Lily, is this another scheme that he did against you to make him feel more powerful over you?" I asked

"He did it out of love," she told me desperately, quickly becoming angry.

"Have you ever truly hated someone in your life?!" I asked, Harry having to hold me back from her.

"No." She answered simply, I stopped fidgeting and stared at her, and asked this question, "How many times have you lied to me about your eating and Alex?"

"Everything." She said as if it were something she would say to a stranger who asked about the weather that day. I ran out of the room, down the hallways, and down the stairs. When I reached the main entrance I stopped to catch my breath, but I should have never stopped because this made me break down crying.

My daughter had lied to me and she thought nothing was wrong of it. She told me nothing that was accurate and she had always been so secretive. Lily was skin and bones and nothing else, I wouldn't be surprised if she weighed less than 100 pounds. Lily lied to her father, me, and everyone else. I didn't even know my daughter anymore by the way she acted… was this going to be a permanent change, and if it wasn't, when would I get my daughter back?

_I know it was a shorter chapter but what can I do? I can't go on with what I have for the next chapter because it would not fit with this chapter and I want the two chapters to be seperate. I am home sick from school... for like, the billionth time this trimester. I figured something out with my story that it is more like my life than I ever expected it to be. Don't worry, I am not getting abused or anything, but the good parts about my story seem to relate to me more than I ever thought possible. :)  
I have been at school till at least 11 every night, so please have mercy on me if this chapter is a bit iffy. I promise the next chapter will be much better. Drama is finally over with and I can sit and relax... for a while, after I get my homework done, catch up with friends, pay attention to my animals, and get a bit more writing done... Fudge.  
Anyways, I have a new poll up! So go check that out!_

The upcoming chapter names:  
A long goodbye  
The mourning after  
and  
Without You.

_Oh, also I will be making a new sneak peek at the sequel soon! Watch for it!_


	45. Don't let this be our goodbye

**_Please Review! :)_**

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

I listened to her breathing, her chest going up, then down, and then it would repeat. It was something that I could listen to forever and I would never want to stop. It showed me that she was alive and well. I held onto her tighter, not wanting to let her go, because I knew that she had to leave… Our last night together was spent cuddling in a hospital, which had previously been a fear of Addie's.

Snuggling closer to her, I heard her let out a quiet sigh, she turned over to face me and made a small smile. "You know, you're going to have to let me go soon." She whispered quietly, looking up at me with sad eyes.

"But not yet, I still have time to be with you, I wish I had a lifetime, but I guess we can't always get what we want, can we?" I whispered into her ear and she let out a giggle.

"We'll see how our future is laid out when we get to it, but right now, we just need to focus on today." She told me teasingly, a smile planted onto her radiant lips on which I wanted to kiss so badly that it was an aching pain inside of me every second that I hadn't kissed her.

We leaned our foreheads against one another and she smiled even wider as her eyes stared at mine, "I absolutely love your green eyes." She told me, pushing herself closer into me so that all that separated us was clothes… damn clothes.

"I absolutely love everything about you." I told her and she smiled up at me. "How did I get so lucky to have you?" She asked me, technically, we weren't going out… so she didn't have me… but I wasn't going to bring that up.

"I could ask the same exact question," I whispered, hugging her tighter. I looked at her left hand to see that Madam Pomfrey had cured it during the night… which meant that she had came in and checked on us, which means she was allowing this to happen… I had never liked that old woman any more than I did now.

Addie only had bandages on her left hand, but she looked at me with saddened eyes, "Everything is going to change, isn't it?"

I didn't want to face the truth, but we both knew the answer to this question. "Change is something that everyone has to go through… even if they don't want things to change."

She just pulled me even closer to her and she let out a sigh, "I wish you could come with me… but my mum would never go for that idea. She's trying to get as far away from this place and everyone in it… plus, I'm pretty sure that she wouldn't like it if we were within two feet of each other."

I made a struggled laugh as I looked at her, "Yeah…"

"I already miss you." She admitted, she rubbed her lips together.

"Don't go saying that… We'll see each other plenty, more than we think." I told her, but she didn't say anything to this.

"I want this to never end… because I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Right here is where I belong." She put her hand to my heart and with tears in her eyes she whispered, "I belong here."

I took her into a long embrace, she didn't seem to mind it, and I said quietly, "I know you do."

Addie let a few tears drop, and she quickly tried to wipe them off, but her attempts failed because the more that she tried to stop crying, the more tears would flood down her face. "I didn't think that saying goodbye would be so difficult," she admitted to me, holding me even tighter than she had before.

"Then don't let this be our goodbye, you said that your mother might let you come here for parts of the summer, and I could floo to your house if you wanted… just don't let this be our goodbye. I don't think I could live if I never saw you again." Addie cried even more and she held onto me tightly, her tears wouldn't stop.

"D-Don't talk like that," she quivered; I realized once I met Addie that I had a poor vocabulary and what I said was very ironic and bad. "Y-You'll be fine without me."

"I'm sorry." I held her tighter as she cried, "I'm sorry."

Hearing her cry made my heart break just a little bit more each and every time a tear fell from her eyes. "I am going to miss you so much," she whispered into my ear quietly after several minutes had passed. "And I'll write to you as much as I can, so that you know what is going on and I won't leave out any details."

"And I will do the same," I told her, and I heard her crying ease just slightly.

She then put her tear soaked face in front of mine and she stared at me, "I want you to come to the funeral." I didn't really know Mr. Abraham, in fact, I had only heard of him a few times throughout my life and I didn't even know her brother's name. Addie was very serious about having me come because her eyes were so pleading that I should come.

"I'll come," I said, but I didn't know how in the hell I could convince McGonagall to have me miss class for a whole day. Relief swiped across Addie's face as she looked at me, "Thank you," she whispered sweetly into my ear.

"Anything for you," I told her and she started to blush. I wiped off her remaining tears on her face and she gave me a weak smile. "What will I do without you?" she asked me, leaning her forehead against my own.

"I don't know, but somehow, life will go on, no matter how far we are split apart," I whispered to her, but she shook her head softly, "You'll never be far from me… because you'll always be right in here." She pointed to her heart and tears came back into her eyes. "Always."

Her soft red lips pressed against each other, she wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to word it. "I've been wanting to show you how much I care about you, but I never really knew how to show you how much I really care about you… So I kept on thinking and thinking and thinking of ways and I finally came up with a solution." A little smile came on her lips and her eyes gleamed with joy, she tilted her head ever so slightly and she closed those beautiful dark blue eyes of hers.

Those soft red lips that I had dreamed about touched my own and with such a passion that seemed to only be in fairytales. But this had finally become my reality, Addie in my arms as we kissed for what seemed like not long enough. She tried to pull out of the kiss a bit too early but I slowly pulled her back into my kiss. She let out a quiet sigh after we finally broke apart and we watched each other's eyes. We had nothing left to say, but I wanted to kiss her more and more until she had to leave. It was the unfortunate truth that Addie was definitely going to be leaving me, but it kind of seemed… not as bad now.

We both leaned in again and our kissing became fiercer as I grew hungry for that magnificent woman that was Addie Abraham. My hand ran through her sweet smelling hair as her hands wandered all over my back.

No one could ever love someone more than I love Addie, not anyone. We were so right for each other, but we had to be separated. No matter the distance was between us, as Addie said; we'd always be with one another. My lips seemed to have melted onto hers, how her skin felt so soft. Then, I felt Addie grab onto my belt and I felt her lips smile. We both looked at each other and didn't know what to say. The only thing that she did with my belt was pull that part of me closer to her. I was slightly relieved, because my dad would have murdered me.

Addie's kissing seemed to make me want her more, and more, and more. The more that I wanted her, the less I wanted this to end. I started kissing her neck and she let out a giggle, "I love you."

When I stopped, I told her, "I love you too."

It was an amazing feeling that I had never experienced before. Butterflies started to all flutter in my stomach at the same time as I looked at Addie and I kissed her full lips. Nothing in the world could compare to this feeling, not one.

All of the sudden, I was pushed off of the bed with a loud clatter; Addie on the other side of the bed was pushed off too. Addie let out a yell of pain and I looked over to her quickly, she had her hand on her head which had bumped into the edge of the bedside table. "Mrs. Abraham-" came Madam Pomfrey's loud voice across the room. The woman that I assumed to be Mrs. Abraham stood at the end of the bed where the curtains were wide open. Her wand was shaking furiously in her hand. "Adeline, we're leaving right now." She told Addie with her teeth gritted against one another. I was assuming that Addie was hardly ever called Adeline by her mother because she jumped up right away.

Mrs. Abraham took her daughter close in her arms and said in an irritated tone, "Say goodbye to your little friend, Adeline."

Addie mouthed the words, "Bye, see you tomorrow… in St. Peter's church at nine in the morning."

I nodded and looked up at Mrs. Abraham who was giving me a death glare, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I'm sorry that you came in to see that, I guess you should have waited a little bit longer so you could have had more of a show." I smiled, but Addie's face completely dropped, and Mrs. Abraham gave me a snorted look, "Just like your father you are, and your stupid mother too, always having something terrible to say in a crisis. Always trying to be funny and get a laugh, well, let me tell you Mr. Potter, I did not appreciate your comment or your actions." She turned Addie and led her out of the room; before they left Addie gave me a fleeting look goodbye and she mouthed the words "I love you," as her mother turned her head back around where I could have sworn that I saw the hand that was holding her head have a little red in it…

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Adeline Abraham, how dare you embarrass me like that, your father and brother are looking at you from heaven and they are shaking their heads full of shame." Mother yelled at the top of her voice. "You will never be seeing that boy again, do you understand me?"

"Yes." Was all my lips could tremble out. My mother had grabbed me by my wrist so hard that it started to hurt.

"You will have no contact with that boy as long as I shall live, and because of your lack of good judgment, I will be arranging a marriage for you." I stopped walking and looked at the ground. My mother was still yanking on my arm, "No."

"What do you mean, No?" She asked shrilly. When it had come to my parents, I had never defied them in my life. So to my mother this came as a big shock to her.

"No I will not stop keeping contact with Al, no I will not have an arranged marriage, and NO I will not end up to be exactly like you!" My mother stared at me in horror. "Just because you didn't get your fairytale doesn't mean that you can rip me away from mine."

"How dare you disobey your own mother!" She said furiously, gripping my arm even tighter as one tear fell, "How dare you try to control me for the rest of my own life, I'm nearly seventeen already and you can't decide what is right and wrong for me. I can make my own decisions such as who I want to be with and who I do not want to be with!"

"Your choice of friends is poor, look at Lillian Potter now, skin and bones and will more than likely need therapy for the rest of her life." My mother taunted me; she knew how to pick at me for everything. "Lily hates me now anyways so what does it matter? And besides you hate the whole Potter family because it shows you what you couldn't have and what Al's mum got."

"Adeline, hold your tongue."

"No."

She stared at me and gripped onto my wrist even tighter and dragged me out of the only place that felt like my home now. We argued all of the way home and when we got home we started screaming at each other even more. "You don't even know Al, how could you be so against someone that you don't even know?!"

"I know enough about him to know that he is a bad person, you never fought with me before you met him. Then you got lippy and you've turned into some… some little…" We both knew that she was trying to call me a whore but she didn't have the guts to do it.

"I'm some little slut, is that what you're trying to say?" I asked, livid, my face had turned red.

"Well I was your age once and he is just trying to trick you, and he's much older than you!" She was trying to think of reasons to win this argument but she was not succeeding.

"I'm sixteen and he's seventeen, that isn't that much of a difference." I yelled, my lungs and throat were throbbing.

"It's a big enough difference, and you aren't of age yet so what I say goes!" She screamed.

"Well then maybe I should go!" Fury was bubbling up in my veins, I breathed heavily as we both stared at each other's faces.

"Maybe you should." She told me quietly, looking at the floor.

"Fine. I'll go pack up my stuff then." I said, passing her on my way to the stairs, I felt her straighten up.

I passed my sister's room and heard a loud noise come from her room. I opened it up and everything breakable in her room was shattered into pieces on the floor. "Becca, what are you doing?" But she kept on ripping things apart as she cried, in sort of a rage filled tantrum.

"Becca!" I had to yell to get her attention and when she finally looked at me with her tear filled eyes she ran towards me and held onto my legs so tightly that I thought I was going to fall over. "Please don't leave me with just mommy, please! I-I need you! You can't l-leave!" She wailed into my knee.

"Becca, you probably don't understand now but maybe you'll understand later. But mum and I both agreed that it is best for me to leave… So I have to." When I tried to move she started to scream bloody murder, a high pitched, ear bleeding scream.

"NO! I won't let you leave!" I tried to move farther out of her room and she screamed even louder, "NO! NO!"

Mum opened the door to see Becca sobbing on my leg. She came over to Becca and took her off of my leg with a slightly unneeded force. I couldn't even understand what Becca was trying to say anymore but my mom said, "I think you should get your stuff now and leave."

Becca tried to get out of mum's grasp, she even tried to bite her but I shut the door behind me with the most regret. The door did not close out Becca's screams for her screams could penetrate through anything.

I packed all of my things and I stuffed them into a trunk and one box. I wiped off my tears and headed down the stairs, still hearing Becca's sobs as mum tried to calm her down. I took the doorknob and jerked it open. With my last look at the house, I slammed the door shut. All the way down the street I could still hear Becca sobbing. It wasn't till I turned the corner that I couldn't hear it any longer. I walked down the sidewalk as far as I could go, walking by a park, a church, which was ironically next to the town bar, several houses, and a stray dog. This dog came up to me and rubbed against my leg, but I shooed it off.

The next minute it came back to me again and I tried to shoo it off but this time it just followed me. I went up to a door and I rang the doorbell, this time, the dog stood back. The cardboard box shook in my hands. A red haired woman answered the door, she seemed much older than Lily and she was not Mrs. Potter. "Why hello there, who are you?" She asked politely.

"I-I'm Addie Abraham… Is Mr. Potter or Mrs. Potter here?" I asked, her concerned expression deepened into her plump features.

"You must be one of Lily's friends, I'm Molly Weasley, Ginny's mum, but you seem to be a bit too young to be out of Hogwarts just yet. Would you like to come in? They should be arriving soon." I shook my head as my knees started to wobble even more.

"N-No ma'am, I just… could you make sure that Albus gets this package?" I asked, holding out the package for her to take but she looked at me more questioningly.

"Come in dear, it's too cold outside to be walking in just that and it is almost dark and you seem to have no place to go, come on in." She had to push my back to have me go inside the house that I had gone in once before, only this time, I noticed that the ugly antique vase had been replaced by a family portrait.

"I-I'm fine ma'am, I just need you to give this to Al, and I really don't want to be a bother…" She just shook her head.

"Nonsense. I haven't had a thing to do all day and I raised seven children, I felt like most of my day has been wasted away doing nothing. Come in and sit down, you look starved, I'll get you some tea and how about some soup?" I shook my head but she didn't see me and started making it anyways.

"I-I don't need anything, please, I don't want you to go through all of this trouble… I can just put this in his room and be on my way…" But she wouldn't have any of it.

"Now that you're here Addie, I am going to take care of you, because you look like you need some love and attention." Molly poured some tea into two cups and set one down by me and another for herself. "So, how old are you Addie?"

"Sixteen." I told her quietly.

"So, you should be in Hogwarts right now, correct?" She asked me as she sipped some of her tea and flicked her wand at the stove to start the soup.

"No. I am supposed to be transferred to Beauxbaton's but plans have changed so… I don't know where I'm supposed to go from here." I muttered into my tea as I took a tiny sip.

"Why were you going to be transferred to Beauxbaton's?" Molly asked politely.

"My father and brother died." I murmured, making her spit some of her tea back into the cup. "Oh my dear, are you alright?"

"I guess so… but my mum and I had a big fight back at the house… and she kind of… kicked me out…" I looked down at my cup and before she could even say anything the front door swung open. Mrs. Potter and Mr. Potter both had very tired expressions on their faces. I jumped up and accidentally tripped over my own foot. I scrambled to get to my feet but Molly let out a squeak, "dear, did you hit your head on something before?"

"I-I'm fine, I have to go… umm, go somewhere." I shook so much that I toppled over my own foot again and my side hit the corner of the table on the way down. Mrs. Potter helped me up and said, "Honey, you need to sit down, or lay down somewhere. We should get your head checked out…"

"Are you calling me mental? I asked, a little bit offended.

She gave me a small smile and she tried to hide her laugh, "No, I just think that we should make sure that you're okay."

"I'm fine; I don't need to be looked at… I'll just… go." I tried to walk but I stumbled even more than I had before and Mrs. Potter helped me up once again she said softly, "It's alright if you're not fine. We're here to help you. We can help you. We _want to help you_." She smiled so sincerely.

I did feel a bit dizzy… so I let them lead me up to the middle bedroom upstairs. It had several Quidditch memorabilia, so I knew it couldn't be Lily's room so it had to be Al's or James' room. They helped me lay me down in the bed and they turned the lights off. Mrs. Potter came back into the room to tuck me in and she gave me a small smile. "Get some rest and we'll sort this all out in the morning, okay dear?"

"I guess." I hadn't realized how tired I had become in such a short amount of time.

She gave me a bigger smile and pulled something from behind her, "I didn't know if you were too old for this kind of thing, but this was Albus's old stuffed animal and it kept a good watch over him as he slept. I thought that maybe you might want it just for tonight to fend off his old smelly socks that I haven't gotten to wash yet."

I let out a little laugh and took the bear into my arms. "Thank you, Mrs. Potter."

"Addie, you can call me Ginny if you'd like." My smile widened more.

"I think I would like that, thank you." How could someone be so nice without asking so many questions? Wasn't she worried about me being an imposter just waiting to kill her at night? Apparently not.

When she shut the door I turned over to the side of the bed closest to the window and I looked out at the night sky. Was Al looking at the same stars that I was? And if he was, was he wishing on those stars like I was.

I listened for any movements downstairs… but not a noise. No loud banging… No screaming… No holes being put into walls… It was nice to sleep somewhat peacefully for once, the pressure of OWLs had been taken off of me and all of Hogwarts and my mother had been taken off of me. I felt safe. Was this what a family was supposed to feel like? Because I liked this kind of family

_Is this finally long enough for you?! I dragged every single scene that I could, I even editted the ending for the fourth time I had to stop myself. Guh-ness. People. I have a friend that writes 500 words or less per chapter. I write over 2,000, (excluding 3 chapters) one chapter was even over 5,000. Please do not tell me that my chapters are short! I am a sick kid with a high temp of 104.6 and I was sick when I wrote it. I know that compared to the chapter before it was a couple hundered words off, but I couldn't really find a whole lot to say about it and you always tell me to write fast and update fast and.... *Author runs into corner and screams into pillow and quietly returns* I just hope you like this chapter I guess is what I'm saying. I'm just... guhhhhh.... Too much time spent in bed, Too much needles poked into my skin... 14 to be exact because they couldn't get the damn IV in.... and not enough time spent with my friends that keep me sane!!!! Okay... well, they keep me... regular. Sorry for complaining so much, let's get on, shall we?_

_Question time!  
1. How are you doing? I feel like I hardly know some of you.  
2. What do you think should be in the next chapter? Because I am stuck!  
3. What did you think of the whole chapter?  
4. Did you fill out the new poll yet like I asked you to? :P  
5. Talk about what you want to talk about now! Preferrably about the chapter :P_

_I had this done at... Like 11 on Thursday night but I didn't post it for these reasons. A) No one reads fan-fiction at Three thirty in the morning on a school night, B) I thought this chapter was rubbish, and C) I was tired... I was woken up two hours later to take my round the clock meds and I did not feel like posting it on the D.A. either._

_Thank you for reading this rediculously long rant-ish thing and for putting up with me!_


	46. Those first bites

_**Please Review!**_

o0o0o0o0o

"I-I can't go back in there," I blubbered, shaking in fear. Harry's hand held onto my shoulder as he whispered to me, "Yes you can, your daughter needs you Ginny. She is sick and the person that she needs the most is her mother, no matter how much she denies it."

"I really can't go back in there; it's just too much… she's so… petite." I covered my face and felt Harry's arms wrap completely wrap around me. "And she thinks that people are supposed to look like that? What does she think you and I are? Overweight?"

Harry tried to calm me down but it did not work for the next few hours. I sat in the waiting room sobbing, like a little baby going to get her second shot, because she remembered that the first one bloody well hurt. A healer came down and found us in two chairs in the waiting room and she asked, "Mr. and Mrs. Potter? Could I speak to you in private for a moment?" I slowly nodded my head and we both got up, unsure if we really wanted to hear the bad news or not.

The woman introduced herself as healer Cadwallader, but I knew that I would never be able to remember her name, but I felt like I had seen her face before.

"Between the physical exam and the mental stability test, we have figured out that your daughter is in critical condition…" The healer started but she stopped when I opened my mouth.

"Are you trying to tell us that our daughter is loony?" I asked.

Harry mumbled, "And you wanted to name her after Luna, we could have just named her Lillian Nymphadora Potter, like I wanted to, but no, you wanted to name her after Loony Lovegood..." I punched him hard in the stomach and he gave a small grunt.

"No, I am just trying to say that your daughter is in a very bad place right now… So bad that I'm afraid that she should not have any visitors besides you two for a few weeks if at all possible. It will be a slower moving process to get her back to a healthy weight and get her through physical and emotional therapy but we will do our best to keep her on the right track so that you can eventually take her home and she will be… almost herself." Healer Cadwallader explained but I had another two objections to this.

"So does that mean her brothers can't come to see her, do you not think that they have a right? And what do you mean she will be almost herself, we want our whole daughter back. Weight and All!" She moved her foot slowly to the left and to the right.

"Her brothers should not see her until she has improved slightly, they would be traumatized by their sister's appearance and it is also a risk for Lily because she could possibly react to other people being around her." This made my eyes pop.

"You're telling me what I can and cannot do with my own daughter?" I asked incredulously, "Are you insane?"

"I didn't say that-"

"I think I know what is best for my own family, you spent twenty minutes with my daughter and you hardly even know us. You don't know, you couldn't possibly know and you're telling me how to run my family?" My Weasley temper was flaring up and my face was as red as my hair.

"Obviously how you ran your family was not the proper way otherwise your daughter would not be in St. Mungo's," I heard her mumbled under her breath just enough that she thought I couldn't hear.

I rolled up my sleeves and pulled out my wand but I was pulled back by Harry who, unfortunately, was stronger than I was, but if my temper got high enough…

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I yelled, Healer Cadwallader looked at me with surprise and her eyes widened. "I did not do this to my daughter! I had no idea this was happening, she made sure that we were in the dark the whole time! Lily didn't send us any letters from school and she hardly ever came out of her room when she was home for break. So don't you dare blame this on us, it was all that little devil child's fault!"

"I am assuming that you will want another healer to be watching over your daughter then." She took her clipboard and wrote something down, probably along the lines of, mother is very hostile.

"You are assuming correctly," The woman turned on her high heel and left. I turned around to Harry and slapped him on his arm, "Why did you go and stop me from getting her?! Did you not hear what she said?"

"Ginny, there is no use in fighting or getting upset, she is going to get a new healer so that they can help us find a solution to help Lily." This was when I stopped paying attention to Harry. My eyes just went off into some sort of daze as I remembered this day only sixteen years past…

"_Harry! Harry!" I rushed down the stairs, holding onto the railing; my socks slipping on the newly polished wood flooring. "Harry, I have great news!"_

_Harry had his glasses askew on his face, one side was not behind his ear, and he had applesauce covering his face as he had fallen asleep while feeding Albus. I nudged him in the side and he woke up with a jolt, having to wipe off his face. "W-What did I miss?"_

"_Harry, she's kicking, she's really kicking." I told him excitedly, taking his applesauce filled hand and placing it on my bare, whale sized stomach. "Ginny, I thought I told you that we weren't going to get excited about the sex of the baby…"_

"_But Harry, I just know these things… now shush, you won't be able to feel it if you keep on blabbing." We waited for several minutes until finally the baby kicked once again. His face lit up with joy and he looked up at me. We stayed like this until James came into the kitchen with dirt in his hair, sand in his hands, grass stains on his new nice shirt, and a new "friend" which was a giant spider… which we later put in a jar and showed to Uncle Ron._

"Ginny? Harry?" Asked a tentative healer at the other end of the hallway; his voice seemed familiar, but I could not place where I knew him from until I saw him up close. He was shorter and had mousy brown hair just like his older brother had. "Dennis?"

"Most people just call me Healer Creevey now, but Dennis is still good." He shook both of our hands and looked at a chart. "It seems that I will now be Lily's primary healer, so if I could ask you a few questions, that would help me out a lot to get to know you a little bit better and to see really why Lily had done this to herself."

I swallowed hard on the air that I had just sucked in and I said with slight hesitance, "Sure."

Dennis sat with us for thirty minutes asking us questions that, I did not know the answers to. When Lily started acting strange, when we noticed, how we first tried to get her to stop, how were her friends at school, when did she start to become shy, how would she hide her food from us, and when she started to stop eating all together.

He took his final note and showed us into the room that Lily would be staying for a while. For once, I saw her sleeping peacefully. But I remembered how much that jumpsuit showed of her bones and my smile did not come back to my face. "Lily already denied food under the circumstances of 'distress' so when she wakes up, we will try again… and if she denies, we will have to put in a feeding tube."

"Um, wait, what is a feeding tube?" I asked, looking from Harry to Dennis, Harry's face had scrunched up quite considerably from hearing this news.

"Well, it is a muggle way of doing things… If she refuses to eat then we will be forced to put a tube down her throat which will feed her since she is unwilling to eat herself." Dennis explained as calmly as he could and I shut my mouth. I looked at my poor baby lying in that hospital bed and I slumped down into a chair next to the bed. "Oh." Was all my brain would allow me to say.

"It will be our last resort though, because it could cause vocal damage," Dennis told us hastily, moving his hands to gesture this. "I should warn you that with cases so rare as Lily's that she will need to stay here for a couple of months. No matter how long she thinks she doesn't need to stay. The first couple of months will be the hardest so I would strongly suggest to not having a whole lot of outside visitors; meaning non family members and cousins of cousins of cousins. For her recovery I was thinking mostly the grandparents, parents, and her brothers should be coming for the first few weeks and then if we think that she is strong enough, we will have friends come, and once she is stable enough, we will have her talk to someone for a hearing." But Dennis was quick to shoot down Harry, "he will have to stay in custody of the ministry until she is stable enough to give out full information, otherwise the Wizengamot will deem her as unable to verify her own information and he will win the case if they are cunning enough." Harry looked angrier than ever as he stood next to me, I took his hand gently and he looked down to my eyes.

I pleaded for him to calm down and his face slowly drained its anger and it spilled out of his feet into the floor. I gave him a smile and he took the seat next to me. "I know that this wasn't the ideal way that you would spend your summer vacation, but this is going to need to be the way that things will go… As for her schooling, we provide a few classes here so that she does not need to miss so much school and she can recover as quickly as she can in a comfortable environment." Dennis gave us some alone time with our daughter and closed the door quietly.

"Well… at least they have her in a single room." Harry commented, looking around at the one dead plant in the room that was in the corner of the room. He looked closer and found a window and got up to go look out and said, "it has a nice enough view."

"Just as good of a view that the media has of Lily, please close those blinds, the sun will be coming up soon." I told him and he shut the moonlight from coming in. Now the only light that gleamed in the room was the light that was in the opposite corner of the plant. "I just know that awful woman will take any chance she has at Lily and I don't want anyone seeing her like this… this shouldn't be the way that people see her. Only the boys and mum and dad can come, I don't want anyone else in here." Harry opened his mouth to speak but it took him a while to protest to my statement.

"What about Lily's school friends?" Harry asked after a minute or so.

"They can come in a few months but they are still in school right now, a month and they will be out and so will Lily hopefully…" Harry's hand came gently onto my shoulder and he spoke as softly as he could. "Ginny… you know that it will take more than a month. By a month maybe she will be a few pounds heavier, but she will push us every single step of the way, you know that she got her stubbornness from you and your mum. I know that she won't want a feeding tube, but unless she is willing to eat, she will need it… for her own good."

"She's going to get better though now… that's all that matters." I told him, not looking directly at Harry but towards Lily, her eyes were closed and I wondered what she was dreaming about… why she was not smiling, nor frowning… What was her head filled with at this very moment; a dream or a nightmare?

o0o0o0o0o0o

"_No! I won't deal with you anymore, go beat on something else!" I screamed, the room was filled with my blood. He kept it as a constant reminder of what he could do to me and to others. "I won't take your anger problems anymore!"_

_He threw me up against the back wall and grabbed a hold of my hair, kicking my stomach to weaken my knees and he continued to kick until I fell down to my knees. "Say it again!"_

"_I don't love you, no one loves you, you don't even love yourself because you know that on the inside you are just as empty as you are on the outside!" He kicked me so hard that I started to cough up blood; it slowly dripped out of my mouth giving me the most unsatisfying taste left in my mouth._

"_Tell me you love me!" He screamed; his face redder than I had ever seen it before._

"_I won't lie." I spat, he kicked me again, and the only thing that kept me up was his pull on my hair which felt like it was all going to rip out soon._

"_You think anyone loves you? You think that Matthew Perks loves you? Huh? Well, you're wrong, he's snogging other girls and a few of them even told me that they went farther with him… much farther." He taunted, but I knew this wasn't true… it couldn't have been true._

"_You liar!" He threw me down to the ground so hard that I thought for sure one of my teeth had chipped. _

"_Can't you just imagine, Matthew Perks holding onto some other girl… Mary Flint for example. They're kissing, and then… his hand somehow wanders around. She just is so excited and she starts kissing him more and more, and they spend the night together. Naked in each other's arms, you find them in bed and there is nothing that you can do about it." I covered my ears to try and block him out but he just kept on saying it louder and louder…_

"_His hand slowly caressing her body as you sit and watch this happen because you know that he doesn't love you, he loves her…"_

"Shut up!"_ I screamed so loudly that I scared myself and him, I had been hyperventilating and it felt so real._

"_Matthew Perks never loved you, the only person that Matthew Perks loves, is himself."_

"No! No! No! No!" _I started kicking the floor as hard as I could while holding my ears tightly. Then, a voice came to me, _"Lily?!" _I ignored it and kept on kicking… but then…_

I woke up, in a cold sweat; it felt like it had rained on my body while I slept… Only I felt warmer than I should normally be. My feet felt weak as I looked up at who had said my name.

James. He had taken some time off from spring training to come here, but this was obviously a mistake. I wouldn't be here that long so there was no point in visiting me. I was still glad that I got to see him. Christmas had just gone by so fast.

"Lily, what were you dreaming about?" He asked quietly, looking at me with a seriousness to him that I rarely ever saw.

"N-Nothing," I stammered out, trying to find mum, but she was nowhere in sight by now, dad had gone too. Light was trying to leak into my room from the blinds but they had been closed tightly.

"Stop lying, I'm sick of you lying to me all of the time, you lie to everyone now as if it is like breathing." James hardly ever got mad at me anymore… but this time… I had really done it.

"I just remembered something, okay?" He looked at me as though he didn't like my tone but he kept his tongue. "Where are mum and dad?" I asked, wanting to see them because they had been nicer to me… even if they were a bit delusional for bringing me here.

"They went home to get some rest but they'll be back, mum said before lunch, so she said that I needed to make sure you ate breakfast." James had never looked so angry with me, I didn't know why I had caused him to get so angry but he seemed angrier than ever before.

"I'm not really hungry…" but he was quick to shoot this down.

"I heard your stomach growl at least eight times in the past two hours, and I know that you haven't had a decent meal in days because we asked Matthew Perks if he saw you eating at all and he said no, you hadn't been eating. But Addie wasn't found so we couldn't get a second opinion." Damn it Matt, why did he have to go and tell them that?

James looked at a tray in front of me and gestured to it, he pulled it closer to me and said, "Eat. The healer said that you didn't need to eat much, just a little, since you've obviously been starving yourself that too much might over do you."

So many calories on one little plate… it disgusted me. They were trying to get me fat again, no way. When I refused James took the toast in his hand and said, "Do not make me do the broomstick noises."

When I shook my head again, James opened my mouth for me and put all of the fatty calories into my mouth and he made me chew it… and finally I had to swallow it. He had put it down so forcefully that it hurt… or it might have been that my throat was not use to it.

He made me drink very cold orange juice and he made me eat several pieces of bacon which he said I liked but all of that fat made me want to purge myself again.

"Feel better?" He asked, satisfied that half of my plate was partially cleaned off; the other half he would eat. To be honest, I felt worse; I could almost feel my face turning green. I wouldn't let myself throw it up… I wouldn't. Because then they would make me eat more. I wouldn't throw up… I wouldn't.

"Uh… yeah." I lied, but this time, he believed me. He smiled and took a bite of toast, "I'm just worried about you sis, you know that. When they told me your weight I nearly flipped out on that Creeper- Creech- Whatever the hell his name is."

He had finally started talking about something I was interested in, "What did he say was my weight?" I asked intently.

James looked at my all too eager face and frowned, "An unhealthy weight, especially for your height and age group."

"Oh come on James, just tell me, please?" I asked, ignoring that feeling in my throat.

He looked down at his hands and shook his head and mumbled something, "What?"

"You're eighty six pounds." He said a little more clearly, not looking at my excited face. That had been the lowest I had ever gotten! Alex would never be able to hit me again with a weight like that! "For my sake at least would you wipe off that smirk?" I frowned immediately at his tone. "It's one thing to be skinny, but Lily, that is not a good weight. I have eighty six pounds in my upper half of my body! I would worry about picking you up right now and breaking you because you're so skinny." He had gotten mad again… very mad. "Lily, look at yourself, it's sick, you can see all of your bones! There isn't any left of you if you were to get in an accident, you would have no padding and you would die on impact!"

I grabbed onto the little pink dish as fast as I could and without even trying, I threw up. All of the foods that he had forced down my throat were now in a little pale. He stopped yelling and looked at me without saying a word. When I finally stopped throwing up I looked at him crossly and asked, "Are you done yelling at me yet or do I need to throw up some more?"

James sat quietly in the seat beside me, in a sort of dazed look. "You made me so angry, you kept on yelling and screaming… and I don't like you when you're screaming at me. You remind me of Alex when you scream at me." He finally looked up at me with tears streaming down from his eyes.

"Alex?" He asked, his lips barely trembling out the words, "You mean that little twerp from fifth year? He was the one that picked on you your first day? That's whose been doing this?" I saw his knuckles turn white when I shook my head yes. "How long has he been doing this?"

"Since you left Hogwarts… since your last day at Hogwarts." I mumbled, feeling nauseous again, James hit the arm of the chair very hard. His hand went to his hair immediately, like it had always done with dad. It's what they all did, when they were frustrated and didn't know what to do; they ran their fingers through their hair.

"Why on earth did you let it get this bad?" He asked, but before I could ignore the question a trainee healer came in and took the pale bucket from me and frowned. She didn't say anything but put a new bucket at my bedside. She asked me how I was feeling and I told her the truth. She gave me a glance and pressed on my stomach… which made a mess of a situation. In the end, she left with her face red and regurgitation in her hair… she shouldn't have pressed so damn hard.

James sat in the room until he was paged out of the room, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and left.

He left me to sit in a bright room and stare at a dead plant. Great. Just great… My luck.

This gave me time to maybe fall asleep… but I was woken up in the middle of the night by my father who had been watching me toss and turn, "Lily, are you okay?"

I had slept through lunch and dinner, great! I didn't have to make up any excuses not to eat today, and I didn't have to throw up anything either.

"I'm fine now." I told him, wiping my eyes. Mum sat in the corner of the room by the plant, her eyes closed. James sat next to her, but he was wide awake, just staring at the ceiling.

"Your mother blames herself you know," Dad told me in his secret, quiet tone that he only ever used when he didn't want people to hear. "For all of this, she says if she would have been a better mother then she would have known sooner... maybe caught all of the signs."

"That's crazy, we both know that mum is an amazing mother…" but dad just nodded his head silently.

"We both know that, but your mother is very convinced that this is her fault and there was a way that she could have prevented it… but you know your mother, always worrying…"  
He gave me a small smile but I just looked over at her. She seemed so worn from everything.

"You should take her home… she needs to sleep in a proper bed. It's not like anything will be happening here now anyways." I told him but he just looked at me. "I think you need to eat first."

Why were people so fixated on having me eat something? I didn't understand. He didn't force me to eat anything but he seemed so sad, so for dad, I tried to eat something… and I tried to keep it down as best as I could. I had half a bowl of tomato soup, and he was happy with that. For some reason he could not stop smiling at me, and I felt great for giving him that whole smile. We both knew that my stomach would not hold any more than what I had already eaten so we just played wizard's chess to wait it out and see if it came back up again.

Two in the morning and nothing had come back up. Dad gave me a kiss goodbye and woke mum up. She seemed too tired to really understand what was going on until two minutes later when she was getting up out of her chair. She came to hug me but then she refrained and just kissed my cheek. Mum gave me a sad smile and left with dad by her side.

James wouldn't let me be alone, and I was thankful that he didn't. It was scary in that hospital at night. I would have to remember to thank him later… after this was all over. But I was not excited to wake up and have it happen all over again.

_Is this chapter long enough? I hope so... *sigh* I have a rant... but I will refrain. I will keep this short so you will talk freely all about the chapter and your thoughts without my interruption._

_Thank you so much for reading and please review!!!_

_P.S. You can find out where the sequel to "Without Red Hair and Freckles" will start by checking out the old and now closed poll on my profile :)_


	47. Her Final Goodbye

**_Please Review!!!_**

o0o0o0o0o0o

Harry had forgotten the key to the door so we had to use the "Alohamora" spell to open up our front door. I was nearly half asleep walking into the doorway when I saw a bright light gleaming from my kitchen. I heard a loud crash coming from the kitchen, so Harry and I ran into the room to find out what was happening. Mum was helping a dreadful looking little girl to her feet when she asked her, "Dear, did you hit your head on something before?" I looked at the back of her blonde head and it had dried blood, almost making her look like she had Weasley colored hair…

She looked frantic and she just seemed to want to get out of the house as quickly as she could, "I-I'm fine," she mumbled, "I have to go… umm, go somewhere." She fell forwards once again and her side hit the table so hard that I saw some new bloodshed. I took her hands and told her gently, "Honey, you need to sit down, or lay down somewhere. We should get your head checked out…"

"Are you calling me mental?" I couldn't help but giggle a little bit as she stared at me.

"No, I just think that we should make sure that you are okay," I told her, trying get a look at her face but she covered it every chance she could.

"I'm fine; I don't need to be looked at… I'll just… go." She tumbled down again, having me help her to her feet once again, I tried to reassure her by saying, "It's alright if you're not fine. We're here to help you. We can help you. We want to help you." I tried to smile at her but she did not return this smile.

We took her upstairs to Albus' room and we got her snuggled into the bed. The sheets seemed to be just lightly covering her body, but not quite close enough to her so that it would keep her warm all night.

I came back into her room and tucked those loose ends and she was now snuggled comfortably into the bed. "Get some rest and we'll sort this all out in the morning, okay dear?"

She mumbled something but I didn't quite understand. I finally put into her view, Mr. Snuggly Bear. "I didn't know if you were too old for this kind of thing, but this was Albus' old stuffed animal and it kept a good watch over him as he slept. I thought that maybe you might want it just for tonight to fend off his old smelly socks that I haven't gotten to wash yet."

She finally laughed and showed that she had some emotion. Addie took the bear into her arms and she smiled at me, "Thank you, Mrs. Potter."

It seemed as though Addie had grown up to say Mr. and Mrs. because whenever she came around I started to feel a bit old… "Addie, you can call me Ginny if you'd like."

Her smile widened, "I think I would like that, thank you."

Addie barf, the words, thank you, you're welcome, Mr. and Mrs. , and the never ending I'm sorrys. I closed the door with a last goodnight wave and I let out a sigh. Harry stood on the other side of the door and asked quietly, "did you find anything out?"

"No. She's too afraid to say anything, and I doubt that she will be spilling out her whole life story anytime soon… but we will find out more in the morning, right now, it is time to sleep." I told him, ushering him to bed.

He held onto me tightly that night, as if it was reassurance that everything was going to be better now… but there was this pang in my stomach that told me differently.

0o0o0o0o0o0

_A man looked at me with big yellow eyes, his teeth gritted while his hair, lay a tangled mess on top of his head. Blood was splattered across the walls, but I couldn't see a door or a window… no way to escape this crazy mad man. I slowly got up and walked farther away from him. He had a booming deep voice that made me tremble, he asked, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"_

_I didn't know the answer… how was I suppose to know an answer like that? "I-I…"and without any warning, he struck me. It felt so hard and so real that I almost could have been woken up by it… unfortunately, this was almost. I could feel my right cheek go red. "Nowhere, and do you know why you aren't going anywhere? It's because no one is here to save you, because no one loves you enough to come and find you."_

_A hit came to my nose and I felt blood slowly flow out of my nose… I felt how slowly the blood came dripping down and out of my nose. A drop fell onto my lips and I had to taste my own blood… it seemed strangely familiar. "_Al loves me, and you can't take him away from me!_" I felt my head hit something very hard and I almost started to cry. It felt like I hadn't seen Al in years, it was hard to picture him in my mind. The yellow eyed man held up something in his hand… it was shining, but I couldn't get a good look at it._

"_Do you want to test that? Are you willing to risk losing your precious little Albus in an attempt to prove me wrong? In fact, I dare you to test me; I will kill him on command…" My eyes started to water in despair._

"No, no! Don't kill him, please, I beg of you, t-take me… take my life, not his. I could never be held responsible for his death too… just please, please don't hurt him Caleb_." How did I know this man's name? I had never seen him in my life. Then I slowly realized… the blood on the walls was my own… this had not been a onetime thing… why did I know his name?_

"_Well… if you insist…" In his hand, was a sharp blade, it had been the thing that shined in the darkness. Then, he whipped out his wand and conjured out of thin air, an image… It was Al… but he seemed much older than 17, he looked almost 20 something. But this wasn't the time to be guessing his age… no matter what his age, he seemed hurt. Several bruises covered his body and he seemed to be bleeding from several places. With a twitch of Caleb's wand, Al started to jerk in an unnatural way. He was screaming… screaming so loud that I could hear it from two places at once… which meant he was close…_

"Stop it! Stop it, you're hurting him! Leave him alone! Don't do it!_" I screamed as loudly as I could, maybe, hopefully Al would hear me… but he didn't seem to notice._

"_You've always asked me how your parents and siblings died… well, now I think is the perfect opportunity to… show you." I screamed as loudly as I could, running up to him and knocking the wand out of his hand and grabbing onto the knife as tightly as I could. I aimed it at myself, struggling not to cry. "_If you kill Al, then I'll kill myself!_" I could feel a hot breath behind my neck… I had remembered this hot breath, but from where? A bright light flashed… _

I woke up in a cold sweat, while still in my pajamas. Mrs. Potter was staring at me wide eyed as I finally looked at myself. I was holding a knife similar to the one I had dreamt about, only it was less sharp… I was in the kitchen, probably reenacting my dream. Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Potter were also in the corner staring at me. I could feel the actual tears that I had been dreaming about in my eyes and on my face. I must have really hurt my head too because my head throbbed in pain.

In panic I dropped the knife and it fell onto the floor with a loud clang, missing my toes. Mr. Potter quickly picked up the knife and set it on the other side of the room. The three adults watched as I shook in horror at what I had almost done. A flash of lightning was followed by a roaring thunder that shook the house. I looked at the clock on the microwave and it said, 11:02… My heart stopped beating for several seconds when I realized what I had done. "No! No!" I screamed, shaking so badly that I could barely run to the other side of the room, where Mr. Potter took me into his grasp. "No! I've missed it! I've missed it! No! Let me go!" Tears were rushing down my face as I scrambled to get out of his tight grasp. "I have to go! Please, let me go!" But Mr. Potter's grip did not loosen no matter how much I begged or pleaded, he kept his arms around me.

"My dad and mum were right… I'm a terrible daughter! I can't keep anything straight; I can't do a thing right!" I sobbed, slowly falling from my feet and onto my bum. I covered my face and my hands shook uneasily as they covered my face. "I'm not perfect, I am always messing up somehow, and I shouldn't even be showing my face because I disgrace the family name!" My voice had risen to an ultimate high and I could not stand the eerie silence anymore. "I'm not perfect, and I can never be perfect, so why is there so much pressure for me to be perfect when it's an unreachably high goal for me that I can't get to?!" Instead of taking a step back from me like her mother had, Mrs. Potter came two steps closer to me, crouching down to my level and looking at my covered face. "I hate them! I hate all of them! They should have just left me alone, they should have just done what I had told them to do and stop yelling at each other… But all I hear now is their voices in my head and they keep on screaming at each other… Their screams keep on getting louder… and louder… and louder until the point where I can't even hear myself think!"

I felt a soft touch on my shoulder, when I uncovered my eyes I saw Mrs. Potter in front of me, a warm expression on her face. I didn't look at her eyes… because I knew I would cry even harder if I did. "But they can't yell at each other anymore…" I mumbled quietly, only two people in the room fully understood the irony of what I said, "Well it would be pretty amazing if they could yell at each other now…"

Mrs. Weasley let a tear fall down her plump face as she tried to not run up to hug me. "Addie, why can't they yell at each other anymore?" Mr. Potter asked questioningly, not knowing fully what he was getting himself into.

"My father and little brother were murdered three nights ago and today was their funeral, but I missed it." I told him distastefully, his arms let go of me at this point. "I found out about the same time I found out about Lily, after I had screamed at her and called her terrible things…" I looked at the floor in front of me and sighed. "I want to take it all back but she's at Hogwarts so there isn't anything I can do about it… I'm going to Beauxbaton's and when I turn 17 I'm moving out of my mum's house and finding somewhere else to live."

Mrs. Potter gave me a worried glance and told me, "Addie, Lily isn't at Hogwarts anymore… she was admitted into St. Mungo's for her eating disorder."

I had no idea. Had it really gotten so bad to the point where Lily actually believed that scum when he told her that she was fat? I hadn't seen her with clothes that fit her in a while… now that I thought about it, her robes never fit her…

I must have zoned out for several minutes because Mrs. Potter finally got my attention by shaking me. It reminded me of my childhood… only her shake was calmer…

"Huh?" I asked, she mumbled something and had Mr. Potter set me into a chair at the table, she quickly pulled out a kettle and poured some water into it. Mr. Potter sat down on the other side of the table, while Mrs. Potter rushed all over the kitchen, not being able to stand still for more than a few seconds.

Mrs. Potter turned around for a second to look at me with a meaningful look, "Addie, since you will be staying with us for a while…"

"Mrs. Potter, I have no intention of intruding for much longer… I didn't even want to stay the night last night-" But Mrs. Potter put her hand up to silence me.

"I won't hear another word about it, you obviously need a place to stay and we need more children around here, it's quite boring actually… and dear, it's Ginny." She said kindly, talking at a rapid pace.

I still wasn't going to stay for long, I had to go to school sometime, and my mum would find me here and scream at me till the day ended. Then when it started back up, so would her mouth that went on and on and on. I didn't say anything to her, because I knew what she was wondering. Her worried expression did not leave her face. Lightning struck again and thunder rolled through the house. The thunder hit my ears and I looked at the door that seemed too far away… I needed to leave, but how could I get out of here without being mean?

Suddenly, the door banged open, revealing a livid woman who let out an angry scream. I knew this angry scream… and I knew what to do when put in this situation. My mother stood in the doorway of the kitchen, her fingers wrapped tightly around the doorknob.

"Of course you would run here. Since I am such a terrible mother, everyone runs to Ginny whenever something goes wrong since apparently I am incompetent of taking care of my own daughter." Mum said nastily, slamming the door behind her and coming closer to me. "I knew as soon as you came out that you would be the one to cause me the most trouble, you were the one that always cried and it gave your father a headache!" She got so close to me that she could almost reach out and grab at my hair. I fell backwards out of the chair and scrambled to my feet. This was when my mother put herself into second gear, going full out at me and I got up just in time to run away, not realizing that I was screaming. I hid behind Mrs. Potter and my mother seemed out of breath by the way she was breathing. In her deranged voice, she screamed, "Come here you little brat! You think you can miss your family's funeral and get away with it?!"

"Please, please, don't move, she'll hurt me," I trembled, holding onto Mrs. Potter for dear life. "She'll hurt me!"

"Do you need me to soap that pretty little tongue of yours, maybe you wouldn't go snogging boys then, especially not that Potter boy-" My mum tried to get around Mrs. Potter but she had put her arms out to her sides, like she was trying to protect me… no one had ever done that…

"Please, please don't let her hurt me!" I let out a scream when my mum got a hold of my hand, but I quickly got out of her sweaty palms.

"You're only doing this out of your father's death, you know now that you don't have to achieve anything, you don't have to be anything now, you can just be the loser that you are!" She screamed, trying desperately hard to get past Mrs. Potter. "You never wanted to make your father and I proud, never! That's why you always hid behind Lily and tried to look like you were trying but you didn't do a damn thing!"

"No!" I wailed, "You never looked at my accomplishments as anything, you always compared me to Lily, which made it impossible for me to be better than her in any way!" I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks.

"You never won anything, but your sister already has more accomplishments than you do! Sometimes, I wish she was the first born, in fact, sometimes I wish you had never been born at all!" My heart stopped… in all of the insults that I have received from my mother and father, this had been by far the worst. I knew she could see what her words had done, but she seemed to have no remorse.

My mother was almost successful in pulling on my hair but Mrs. Potter pulled out her wand and made my mum fly back against the wall, hitting with a hard thud. I didn't wait to see if she was alright, I just made a break for the door. Running as hard and as fast as I could, then before my mother could whip her wand out or hit me, I opened and slammed the door back shut. I ran as fast as I could all the way down the street and several places before I would finally allow myself to stop and I had to tell myself… "She can't get you here… she can't get you here."

0o0o0o0o0o0

The moon lit up the night with the brightness of many light bulbs. I looked at the two objects in front of me and stared… Why had this happened? Why had I been born into this family? Why couldn't I have been brought up by a family that loves me? Why can't I be Lily?

But that was all irrelevant now. Nothing really mattered… Nothing else mattered, but the two people that were six feet underneath my knees, which were resting on the wet grass. I stared at the tombstones for what seemed like hours… They had enchanted flowers to grow where they had dug up just several hours before. I had never been to a funeral before… I never needed to. And all of the sudden, I heard a foot step into a puddle, then a loud swearing came from that person's mouth. I hadn't looked behind me but I knew exactly who it was.

The footsteps grew louder and louder until they stopped. I knew that my whole body was soaked and I was wearing some pretty revealing pajamas, but I didn't care if he saw me like this. "Please don't let _this_ be _our_ goodbye." I whispered loud enough for him to hear over the wind that whipped my hair around.

"It won't, we'll see each other again-"

"No. You don't get it." I said at once, "Please don't let me come back and have me say goodbye to you _like this_." I motioned towards the graves. I let another tear fall and I covered my face with my hands. He kneeled down next to me and sat very quietly for several minutes. "I can't promise you anything." He told me in a secretive voice, "but I can promise you that I won't try to… die."

"No." I started shaking my head, "No… You can't do that… you can't do this to me." I put my hands behind my head and I crouched down into a ball and I started crying even harder. "I tell you that I have to leave and you tell me you love me, when I actually go you just sit there, and when you find me again, you just sit there doing nothing!" I wailed into my knees. "Would you just tell me what is going through your head right now because you're really not telling me what you feel."

Several minutes passed with just the wind going into my ears, the rain falling down on my head, and the tears falling from my eyes. Then, his arm wrapped tightly around my back, I looked up and he looked into my eyes, "I do love you," his other hand grabbed mine and held it tight. "I just can't lose you… Too much is happening now. I went to see Lily today… and she's in worse shape than I ever thought… I even yelled at her… I never yell at her… I feel awful, but she kind of deserved it… she was talking bad about you." He murmured, looking at the grass.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Defending my honor and all, it was very sweet of you," I gave him a quick smile and he returned his bright shining smile, "Anytime."

The howling wind sent more chills down my spine; Al looked at me closely and took off his jacket, placing it gently on my shoulders. "You'll get cold if you give me your jacket." I told him quietly but he shrugged me off, "I like the cold, plus, I like doing things for you."

"Walk me down the end of the street, please?" I asked him quietly, barely moving my lips. He helped me up and we walked down the street, hand in hand, not saying a word to each other. My fingers intertwined in his felt so right, the way his jacket felt on my arms was so right, and the way that he looked at me… felt so right.

We made it to the end of the street, which was under a flickering lamp, he asked, "What now?" I took one step closer to him and looked at his dazzling green eyes. I watched him look at me and I went on my tip toes and my lips touched his. Rain fell down on the top of our heads as we held onto one another, so tightly that I almost couldn't feel whose hands were whose. When the kiss finally slowed down, I pulled back slightly and looked up at him… He knew this had to happen, and he knew that I was going to be the one that had to say it.

"Goodbye Al." I murmured, kissing left cheek once before turning to leave, but I was pulled back into his embrace. His arms wrapped around my body like he was never going to let me go. His hands on the back of my head lifted me up to his lips, he placed several little kisses onto my lips and he held me in a long, wonderful kiss that seemed to last forever. When we broke apart he stared at my eyes for the longest time and finally told me, "I know I can't make you stay… but will you please come over for the summer? I miss you already and I don't think I can be away from you for so long."

I placed another kiss on his lips, "Patience my love, patience." I breathed onto his lips. He held onto me tightly, whispering into my ear sweetly "If I have to wait a lifetime for you, I will. I will have all of the patience in the world for you… Just don't take too long." I couldn't contain my small laugh as I looked up into his emerald eyes.

"I won't love, I won't." I whispered back, kissing his lips softly, making him hungry for more. "And when I see you next, we will kiss until the morning sunrise comes up, to catch up on the times that we could have had." We kissed again and he muttered in between little kisses, "Why. can't. you. just. stay. then?"

"You know I can't, I have to go to school-" But he cut me off.

"Skip it, I can teach you everything you need to know about everything." He leaned in for another kiss.

"You know I can't do that." I said, but he just gave me a crooked smile, so he posed this question to me, "Who is stopping you?"

"Well…" he had stumped me. "The only person standing in my way is me… but I want to finish my education… and I promise I will write, but I have to go… Please let me go…" I tried to leave but he kept a hold of my hand. "But letting you go would mean that you would have to leave… and that would mean letting a piece of my heart go with you."

"You aren't making this any easier for me," I told him, but he smiled and just said, "Then my plan is working."

"I really have to leave Al, they expected me four hours ago, and if you get a French veela mad, then it will probably be the last thing you do." I told him, his tugging on my arm was slightly annoying. "Al, please, I have to go. I will owl you soon but I have to go."

He pulled me in forcefully to his chest and leaned down to me, kissing me so fiercely that I may have zoned out for a bit. Al smiled at me, kissed my forehead and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, looking up at those emerald eyes that I had grown to love so much over the years. I put up my wand and shortly after that The Knight Bus rolled its way down the street.

I gave Al one last kiss to remember me by and got onto the bus, hoping, no, praying, no, knowing that this would not be the last time we would see each other.

_You know something is wrong when you go from having 17 people review on one chapter... then a few chapters later, only 4 review. Last week was a sad week for my writing, because I was not motivated at all to get this chapter out. Lack of motivation, laziness, homework, and procrastination lead me to posting today. The four people that reviewed on the last chapter will get something awesome from me. I like you still if you forgot to review, I understand everyone's business. But it was just a sad week for my writing but last night I felt much better than I had all week and I started to write this thing. I wrote all of this in less than twenty four hours while having a social life! It was amazing.  
Please don't feel bad if you had not reviewed on the last chapter!  
I know this chapter was a lot to consume, so do not lose your train of thought and click the button below this writing! Please :)  
Coming up: The return of Matt and his reaction to all of this, Al and Cho remeet at the funeral, and what happened with Lily and Al at St. Mungo's.  
Major Parts in this chapter: Addie's dream, Cho and Addie's fight in the kitchen, Addie at the graveyard, and Addie and Al's final goodbye._


	48. His Final Goodbye

_**Please** **Review!**_

0o0o0o0o0o0

3 nights before…

o0o0o0o0o0o

I knocked slowly on the door, as if it was not a late hour, as if it was not of any importance, which was the opposite of my visit. "Come in." I heard the tired voice say, I went into her office and I started at Professor McGonagall for the longest time. She knew why I had come, she knew exactly why I was upset, and she knew what she had done wrong. "You didn't listen to me." I told her in a sharp voice. "You ignored me as if I was playing some prank on you, and now you finally do something about it."

"Please sit down, Mr.-"

"No, I trusted you. But you wouldn't do anything. I told you about Lily and you told me that you 'couldn't do anything about it' but you could have. You could have dragged Lily into your office and made her tell! But no, you had to 'wait it out' and look at what's happened now, she's as skinny as can be, she's always crying, and she was raped!" My voice raised to a high, McGonagall looked at me all too calmly. "She got raped by the same person who I told you was beating her, and she is so confused as to what she wants now that she thought that he was the only one that LOVES her. But as everyone in Hogwarts already knows is that _I _am the one who loves Lily, _I _am suppose to be her boyfriend, and _we_ are suppose to live happily ever after! Isn't that right or am I delusional too?!"

McGonagall could have raised her temper too, but she didn't, she just let me yell out my frustrations at her. I even knocked down a bowl of snappers in my rant. The first thing she would say to me was, "You're very correct, I was wrong." I stopped and stared at her. My anger was slowly losing its heat and I stared at her. "What?"

"You are right. I should have done something about Lillian instead of waiting for her to come to me. If I would have waited for her to come to me than that day might still be far from now. But thankfully Mr. Harper provided a confession." My jaw fell and I felt all of my muscles go limp.

"What did you just say?" My fists tightened, my jaw set, and my knees shaking with fury.

"Mr. Harper came into my office and told me all that he has done. I cannot tell you anymore than that Mr. Perks, if you were going to ask further question, I will have to refer you to Mr. Harper." She told me, watching my fists with intent, "Now if you have no further questions for me I should ask that you get some sleep before your last day of studying."

I drew a blank. What test was she talking about? She looked at my confused expression and sighed, "Your O.W.L.s Mr. Perks." My brain shattered into a million pieces and I felt my knees weaken to the point of which I could barely stand up… "Oh… those."

"Now Mr. Perks, I plead you to go to your dormitory and get some rest…"

"Lily tried killing herself!" It all flew out of my mouth at once, "She tried to jump off of the astronomy tower but I held onto her before she really fell… She kept on telling me to let go, telling me that she wasn't worth saving. She thinks that everyone else hates her and that no one but Alex will ever love her. If you would have done something about it then maybe Lily wouldn't be as screwed over as she is now-"

"Mr. Perks, that is quite enough, go to your dormitory immediately and get some rest, before you do anything drastic yourself." I slammed the door behind me as I left her office, not feeling good about how I yelled at the headmistress, but I felt a little better.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The next morning, I dragged myself lazily out of bed and stood up to look at myself in the mirror. My hair was a mess, I had bags under my eyes, and I knew that I had gotten less than twenty minutes of uninterrupted sleep since I sleep so lightly. In the mirror I saw a boy who had a very stupid look on his face, but somehow I knew this look. I turned around and saw Tyler sitting up in his bed with his hands behind his head, just smiling admiringly his feet. "What are you smirking at?" I asked, his eyes came up to mine and his smile faded a little.

"Oh, nothing really… Nothing." He had come in later than I had, and had gotten less sleep than I had, but he seemed to have more to be happy about.

"Well you have that god damn smirk planted on your face, what happened?" I asked, changing out of my shirt and into a cleaner one.

"I didn't do anything." He told me, but I had known Tyler since we were young since he lived by me, so I knew that this was most definitely a lie.

"Okay, would you stop with the lying? Why the hell does everyone think that if they lie now it will make the future better when it only screws everything else up! So just tell me what the hell you did last night that made you late." Tyler's mouth made a frown and he seemed to make a sour face. "Well?" I pestered, "Tell me what is so important."

"I told you, it's nothing. It's not that important, okay? You've got more important things to deal with right now then worrying about my little woes." I picked him up off of the bed and held him by his neck collar.

"Don't treat me like this. Just because I have a lot going on, doesn't mean that you have the right to be mouthy with me." Tyler's eyes were bugging out of his face.

"I-I-I'm not being mouthy. I just thought that-"

"Well you thought wrong; now tell me what the hell happened with you last night." Tyler was shaking in my hands.

"I-I just kissed someone, that's all Matt, I swear!" I let him down and Tyler shook like mad when his feet finally touched the ground, "For Merlin's sake, I really thought you were going to hit me there for a while."

"So what, you kissed a girl, it's not like you snogged her or anything…" but Tyler shook his head again.

"No, she snogged _me!_ A girl wanting to snog _me on the top of the checkout counter for the library books!"_ He told me, in slight shock himself. Did the world flip upside down overnight? "I mean, I've never kissed a girl like that before… And the weird thing is, I can still taste her… Like, bubblegum and chocolate milk." A weird combination, if I didn't say so myself, but if Tyler was happy, I guess I was happy for him.

"Congratulations, I guess." I said, scratching my head.

"Thanks mate," he smiled, "well let's go get some food. I'm starving and you haven't eaten much either."

My stomach growled in agreement and we set down for the Great Hall. I thought about going up to the hospital wing to go see Lily but I decided against it. When we went into the Great Hall it was nearly empty. For the fact that it was five in the morning and no one else was really up at five in the morning. We sat down at the table across from each other and didn't say a word until he asked, "So how is Lily doing? I heard she had a rough night last night."

"I'm assuming that she's better, but I don't know, I haven't seen her since last night." I told him, taking in a spoon full of porridge.

"That's good." He mumbled into his orange juice.

By six, several groups of people had piled into the Great Hall to eat; many of them were staring at us. At promptly six twenty seven, Mary Flint walked into the eating chamber wearing her school wear; only her skirt had been shortened. She was walking on the wrong side of the hall…. Everyone was staring at her… but she was staring right back at us. She sat down right beside Tyler and grabbed a plate. Why she had come and sit over at the _Ravenclaw_ table, when she was a _Slytherin_, I had no idea.

"Hi." She said in a shy voice, looking at Tyler with the same smile he had on this morning… it couldn't have been her, could it?

"Hey," he said back. Their little awkward conversation didn't amuse me in the slightest. Lily was the only thing on my mind, how was she doing? Did she really believe that Alex was the only one to truly love her?

The Great Hall had grown very loud with all of the commotion, some Slytherins even hissed in my general direction. Reichard came over and stood behind me, staring at Mary, "What the hell are you doing Mary?" Natalia Nott was behind him, popping her bubblegum.

"I'm sitting down. Am I not allowed to sit down anymore?" She asked, snarling at Reichard, but he was not fazed. He looked at Tyler and then he looked at me. He laughed quietly to himself and said, "Hey Perks, heard your girl was with Harper. I guess she just didn't like boys with small wands."

"And most guys don't like girls with small brains but apparently you have no problem with that." I was not about to go talking about my "wand" in front of everyone, so I decided to change the subject. Reichard clenched his fists. "Why I outta smack you," he held his hand right by my face but I did not flinch.

"Go ahead; it won't give your girlfriend any more sense than she already has, it's a pity really…"

"At least my girl isn't a whore that sleeps with other guys in the prefect's bathroom!" His voice was loud enough so all of the hall could hear. Too bad there wasn't a teacher around to hear this so that I wouldn't get my arse kicked. I stood up and turned around, a spoon in my hand. I had no idea what I was planning to do with a spoon, but it was the closest thing I had.

"Hey, you know nothing about this, so just stay out of it. And I see your little friend isn't here at school today. Probably going to be in Azkaban for the rest of his life! That's my prediction anyways. I hope he rots in a cell just like your father and his father are doing right now." Reichard was winding up his arm to punch me, but McGonagall came into the hall. Everyone else looked away as if nothing had been going on, and Reichard didn't punch me.

"I'll get you next time Perks," he muttered then went over to his table, with a Natalia Nott following him, her nose up in the air.

I sat back down and bent the spoon in half, but I couldn't break it. Tyler looked at me closely and said, "How did he know it was in the prefect's bathroom? No one else knew… or at least I didn't know."

"They probably talk about things like that, don't they? Sick bastards…" I muttered, shaking my head, but keeping my head low in case something was coming at my head.

Then… the whole hall got quiet. I looked around and everyone was staring at the door, I turned around and saw Albus. He looked like hell and he was quietly coming towards me. He took the seat next to me and said in a hollow voice, "She's gone."

"Lily's gone?!" I asked, making sure that I was whispering.

He nodded glumly, then he hit his head hard on the table, "Merlin, I thought she was going to be alright if I left her alone… but then she apparently made an episode so they took her to St. Mungo's… I talked to McGonagall about letting me go, and she said it was fine, but she won't let me go till tomorrow." He hit his head another time, only this time it was quite harder than the previous time, "I've been so worried about Addie that I forgot to check up on Lily… But Addie has no one else… that'll care about her anyways." What was he talking about? Tons of people cared about Addie, her family, her friends, and all of the teachers loved her.

"Wait, why is Addie in trouble?" I asked, looking at Tyler and Mary, but they both had the same concerned look that I did.

Albus took a long time to answer, but he looked at his plate and played with his hands. "Well… Addie's dad and little brother were murdered while her mother was dropping her little sister off at a friend's house… Her mother found them dead in two different rooms of the house. She wrote to Addie and she didn't get it till yesterday after you left, it's why she took that potion… if she would have chosen the potion to the left or the right of the one that she took, she would have died…It just goes to show what can happen."

We all sat in the dead silence as everyone around us joked and laughed. Our heads were hung low and we didn't dare speak to one another. I felt terrible for Albus, his sister was at St. Mungo's, Addie was an emotional wreck somewhere, and he felt bad for not being there when Lily needed him, like I had.

The owls started to come in and I saw two owls coming towards Albus, one was his, the other owl belonged to Addie. He took a letter off of one owl and then he took the Daily Prophet for Addie, who would soon be joining us for breakfast, if she would come out of her dormitory.

Lily was plastered on the front page, Albus' hands were shaking with rage as he read the article and looked at the picture. He gave it to me and had me read it out loud.

"_Last night, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Lillian Potter tried to attempt suicide. Earlier on that afternoon, one of her secrets had been revealed that she had sexual relations with one of her classmates, Alexander Harper. Lillian was so upset that she went up to the Astronomy Tower and tried to jump, but she was caught by a boy with the name, Matthew Perks. They had been seen to have a long history together and when asked, many people were surprised that Lillian had slept with Alexander, and not Matthew. We were not close enough to hear the extent of Matthew's and Lillian's conversation, but they were seen to have a long conversation after she tried jumping. Lillian is now currently in the intensive care unit at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. After the Quidditch match, I went down and asked Albus Severus Potter myself, what he thought of the accusations, but he wouldn't speak about the subject. He would only tell us how he thought that his sister was not troubled and they didn't have the best of starts growing up, but they are past fighting now. Did this mean that Ginerva and Harry Potter were terrible parents for their three children? Albus would not give us any other comments and he said that his future is blank and unknowing. Once we find out more about Lillian's progress we will update you as soon as we can. For now, we wish her the best of luck in getting better. Maybe, just maybe, we can get an interview with her and Alex talking about their first time together."_

"Fat chance. She didn't even say anything about Lily not wanting to be with Alex, did she?!" I mumbled angrily, looking at Albus, whose fingers were tapping nervously on the table.

"Oi! Potter!" Someone screamed from across the hall, we turned around to see it was a sixth year Slytherin boy, he was standing up holding the Daily Prophet. "Would you sign my paper and maybe get me a night in the prefect's bathroom with your sister?" The Slytherins laughed, all but two. Albus got up, he quickly took out his wand, and I reminded him that he was Head Boy, but before we could get to the boy, Scorpius had gotten to him first, he took him by the collar of his neck and dragged him out of the Great Hall with such a force that the boy could almost not keep up. We both sat back down and he muttered something to himself.

I finished my toast in silence and Albus pushed his food away, "How did I not catch this sooner? How did I not know what was going on with my own sister? Mum brought it up before to me, but I didn't think anything of it. I should have caught her sooner… Maybe then things wouldn't be so screwed up now."

"It wasn't your fault that she's like this… It's his, and don't you dare go blaming yourself." I told him, but he just shook his head.

"They're both gone… I could have stopped them from leaving, but I just messed up and now they're both gone." Al sniffled once and left the Great Hall in a hurry.

"They're both gone?" Mary repeated, "Does he mean that Alex left? Because I haven't seen him…"

"I think he meant Addie." I said, looking down at the door, "I'll be right back." I told them and followed Al out of the Great Hall.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Down the hall, to the left, then take a right, then you walk down the hall more and up the stairs and you're there. I stood at the portrait that I had broken into a few days ago. I snuck in the portrait hole and looked around the bathroom. It hadn't been cleaned up since Lily and I had last been in here. I walked around the broken room and stared. I heard footsteps join me in the room, Matthew Perks stared at me with a confused expression, "So they're both really gone?" He asked, both of his two best friends were taken away from him within a matter of one night. I just nodded.

He stared at the floor until his eyes caught something shiny; he walked over to the farthest corner and squatted down. "It's the necklace that I gave Lily…" He looked at the broken pieces as if mesmerized by them. "It all fits."

I watched the poor boy realize what he had been trying to deny for the past twenty four hours. "She really did sleep with him." He whispered, picking up the pieces in his hands.

"Yes."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

My back hit the ground first, while my hand still held on tightly to the portkey. I showed up at exactly, eight fifty five at St. Peter's church. I saw a little blonde girl who cried into her dress. Another taller woman was there standing at the door, trying her hardest to keep her composure. "Well, well, if it isn't Mr. Potter." This voice came from the taller woman on the step, which I recognized as Mrs. Abraham.

I ignored her and went over to the little crying girl. She was blowing her nose into her dress and her red eyes looked up at me with such sorrow. I pulled a rose from my jacket and gave it to her, "Sadness may fill your heart, but happiness is all around you." I gave her a small kiss on the forehead and she gave me a small, shy smile. Mrs. Abraham yanked me away from her youngest daughter and said, "You have no right to be here, absolutely no right. You drive my daughter away from me and then you come to my husband and son's funeral? How dare you!"

"With all due respect ma'am, Addie invited me." I told her, but she seemed to be angrier with me.

"Adeline is not here yet. She ran away last night after we had a little disagreement. I think you should leave now and go back to Hogwarts, where you belong." Mrs. Abraham said, and when I opened my mouth she said, "And stay away from my daughter, I don't need any trouble like you, and I certainly do not need any grandchildren right now. Do you understand? Good, now get out of here, you aren't wanted."

"Addie ran away?" I asked, but Mrs. Abraham just stuck her nose up to me.

"Yes. Adeline ran away last night, didn't you know already? I would have thought that she would come crawling back to you." Mrs. Abraham looked into the church and heard soft music playing. "Go now," she told me, "Go."

I reluctantly left with my shoulders slouched, and my hands kept in my pockets. "Now what am I going to do?" I mumbled miserably, looking at the blank day ahead of me… so I thought I'd take a visit to the hospital.

0o0o0o0o0o0

James was sitting in the corner of the room, staring at the ceiling, while Lily lay in bed, tapping her fingers annoyingly on the rail of her bed. I stood and watched the two silently, trying not to draw attention to myself.

"You should have eaten Lily; I know you can swallow food. You did for dad, why is it so different now?" James muttered, his neck seemed to almost look like it was going to bend in half. "And we all know that you need to eat. You of all people do."

I stared at the dead plant, thinking that their fighting would eventually end and they would send me back to Hogwarts in the morning. "Like I told you, this time it wasn't my fault, it tasted like fried fat." Lily rebutted, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. "It's not like I want to eat all of that fat and bite on it. Have you ever had that feeling of biting down on fat?"

Staring at the door, I wondered if either of them would notice if I left. Hoping they wouldn't, I went up to the fifth floor and got some snacks, came back down and opened the door up. I went over to Lily's bedside and placed all of the candies onto her tray, "Eat them." I told her, not looking away from her like James had.

She looked at all of the treats and told me quietly, "I'm not hungry."

"Then I will feed it to you, because you need some good and fatty foods." I told her, and I opened up at chocolate frog card. Catching the frog in my hand, I placed it in my hand, "Open up, or I'll make you open up."

"You wouldn't-" but by that time the frog was hopping on the inside of her mouth. She tried to scream and spit it out but I covered her mouth. James stared at me stupidly, as if he thought I was crazy. Lily tried hitting me, but in all of her attempts, she failed.

"Chew it and I won't force chew it for you." I told her, this time, she did what I asked without hesitation. After she swallowed it, I let go of her mouth and she slapped me on the back of the head.

"You berk, you nearly gave me heart failure! What the hell was that about?!" Lily's face had gone red and her eyes were bugging out of her face.

"You wouldn't eat, and that's exactly what it's going to be like if they put a tube down your throat if you don't stop throwing up." She pouted at me, but I ignored it. "We might like a little peace and quiet from all of your complaining and fighting."

She stared at all of the food and shook her head, "Al, I can't eat all of this… I couldn't eat all of this before…"

"Fine, we'll split it, half and half. No. I'll split it half and half."

I moved all of the bertie bott's every flavored beans over to her side, I gave us each two chocolate frogs, we each got three pumpkin pasties, and I got all of the whizzers. "I thought you liked Bertie Bott's?" She asked me, looking at our two piles. "They use to be all you would eat."

"I love them." I told her simply, but she just tilted her head slightly to the right.

"Then why did you give them all to me? Don't you want one?" She tried pushing some over to me, but I pushed it right back.

"No, you like them, but you don't like whizzers. You haven't since that one time one popped in your mouth and cracked your tooth when it exploded." Lily was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke up again.

"That was when I was four, how did you remember that?" She asked, not allowing herself to look me in the eyes as she spoke.

"Just eat up okay?" I took the seat next to James and I shared my food with him, since he looked starved to death too. "I don't like seeing you that skinny… it's sick… you're sick."

Lily's eyes flashed red, "I am not sick! Why is everyone telling me I'm sick when I'm not?!"

"Because you are, Lily, look at yourself! You're skin and bones! You were perfect before, but now you're just… sick." I told her, and she scowled at me.

"If you've come here to yell at me then I suggest you go back to Hogwarts with _Addie_ since you're so infatuated with her that you can't even stand it. Both of you even agree that I'm not perfect, glad to see me fall down? Are you glad that I'm here? Because you couldn't have even cared less about me if Addie is in the room. She isn't even perfect! She got a D on her test once! She has two siblings like us, but she can't be me! Because I am perfect! Do you hear me? Perfect! There is not one thing that I want to change about me!" Lily had gotten off of her bed, and without her covers I saw even more of Lily. I saw all of the bones in her back and her cheekbones seemed more prominent.

"I want to change your attitude right now." I muttered, "I don't care if she get's F's! After school, grades don't matter, and she realizes that; that's what I love about her! She may not be perfect to your standards, but she is to mine. I don't care if she got a D on one test; I've gotten several D's. And what would you know about the difference between infatuation and love? You've never felt love in your life besides from your family. We're trying to show you what you've been doing wrong, but you're not listening to word that we say." Her face turned redder than I have ever remembered it being.

"You have never even kissed Addie, how could you know what love is?! And she isn't perfect!" Lily was now just feet away from me, screaming.

"How would you know? I know because I've experienced it Lily and I know the heartache that comes with it. And what is with people and needing to strive for perfection? No one in life is perfect, not one person. It's like the fact of life, everyone dies, even Nicholas Flammel did. So stop trying to be so perfect because you aren't the only person being affected by that pressure." Lily stopped walking; everything had to be about her, didn't it? She had to put on these rants and shows of anger… She used to be nice… She used to be quiet… She used to be my sister.

"Who else then?" Lily jeered, "Because no one else is perfect!"

"Addie is getting affected by it. She always feels like she has to compete with you and she can never accomplish anything with you around always doing above and beyond. Did Addie ever tell you that her mum and dad never told her that she did a good job? That her parents emotionally beat her to death by pressuring her into doing better than everyone? No, and why not, because you were always there to be better than her that she always felt inferior." Lily seemed to have no compassion for her own best friend.

"No, she didn't tell me… but I can't help it that she isn't as good as me can I?" She started heading back to her bed.

"You're only acting like this towards her because of how she acted before," I mumbled, furious that she wasn't listening to a word I was saying. "And that wasn't even her fault! All of her emotions were put to an extreme. She didn't really mean any of it. You know she took that potion, you know that it wasn't her fault for yelling at you!" It had just crossed my mind… Addie's emotions were put to extremes… did she mean that she loved me, or liked me a little?

"She took that potion to get attention… she just can't stand when I have more attention than she does…" I got up and the chair flipped over backwards from my forcefulness.

"You don't get it! Addie didn't do that for attention! She did it because she was depressed and she nearly killed herself if she had taken any other potion other than the one she took! Before you go judging people and saying bad things about them, then get your facts straight!" Lily stared at me with wide eyes, I was breathing irregularly and my anger had bubbled up…

"Al, calm down," I heard James behind me, but I ignored this.

"Do you even know why Addie was so upset?!" I questioned, before Lily could open her mouth my voice got louder, "Her father and brother were murdered! Someone came into their house and killed them while her mother and sister were out. Addie was so upset over you not telling her, Matt for beating up Alex, and Alex in general for what he did to you, not to even mention her family problems. Addie has more strength than any of us in this room, she finally cracked once and you are here to put her down even more, well I won't stand for it. Did you know that she ran away from home? No because if you would have been a good friend you would have cared and not just complained about your own pitiful life!" James got up and took a hold of my hands as my whole body shook. "NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU LILY! And just because mum and dad are giving you all this attention, doesn't mean that the rest of us have to put up with you. Addie deserves a much better friend than you've been the past few months."

James started pushing me towards the door but I just stared at Lily, who was looking at me with her mouth opened. "Addie deserves much more than this and I am not going to stand for it!"

With that, James pushed me out of the room, shutting the door behind him. "What the hell has come over you?!" He asked, almost out of breath from having to fight my strength. "Do you like making our sister cry? Huh? You're really pushing it with this Addie thing. Telling her that she was a terrible friend and all was the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do. She almost committed suicide before, what means that she won't try again if you keep this up? Al, we have to be careful when dealing with Lily…"

"I don't care; she needed to be yelled at. Everyone is acting like nothing is wrong and she thinks that she gets to just do whatever she wants and doesn't have to eat and can stave herself to death! You saw how skinny she was, if you would hug her you could break all of her bones! James, I know my sister, and that is definitely not her. Until she comes back, I'm not going to talk to this stranger anymore." With those words, I stormed down the steps and out of the hospital… making sure that I was not recognized by the paparazzi that lined the outside of the hospital.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The moon was shining brightly onto my face, as I stared at the back of that beautiful head. Then, with my luck, I stepped into a puddle getting both of my shoes and socks completely soaked. I swore and moved on, trudging on through the rain.

I slowly walked up behind Addie, trying not to scare her, but trying to upset her. "Please don't let _this_ be _our_ goodbye." She murmured over the piercing wind, I didn't want to say the wrong thing, so I tried to be positive…

"It won't, we'll see each other again-"

"No. You don't get it." She told me bitterly, shaking her head slightly. "Please don't let me come back and have me say goodbye to you _like this_." She placed her hand out to the graves that were under her knees and my body chilled. Her hands went back to her body and covered her face, I knelt down beside her and let out a quiet sigh. I wanted to put my arm around her and tell her that everything was going to be alright… but it wasn't. I wanted to tell her that I would be able to protect her from any harm that came her way… but that would give her false hope. She was leaving me… here. While my life around me crumbled. I found this unfair, but when I thought this, then I felt selfish. And I knew that I should be happy for her… she would get a new start… A new life… but hopefully she wouldn't get a new boyfriend. I wouldn't think about that.

"I can't promise you anything." I told her, wishing I could give her some assurance, "but I can promise you that I won't try to… die."

"No." She shook her head slightly, in a slight panic sense, "No… You can't do that… you can't do this to me." She pushed herself into a ball position and started to cry, I had really upset her now… "I tell you that I have to leave and you tell me you love me, when I actually go you just sit there, and when you find me again, you just sit there doing nothing! Would you just tell me what is going through your head right now because you're really not telling me what you feel."

I don't know how I feel… mixed emotions really. I love her and I don't want to see her go, but I know I have to let her leave… For the sake of her. I wrapped my left arm around her and gave her a squeeze, she finally looked up at me and her lips trembled.

"I do love you," I told her, grabbing a hold of her left hand with my right. "I just can't lose you… Too much is happening now. I went to see Lily today… and she's in worse shape than I ever thought… I even yelled at her… I never yell at her… I feel awful, but she kind of deserved it… she was talking bad about you." I stared at the grass in front of me and I tried not to tell her too much about today.

"Thank you." She said finally after a few minutes. Why was she thanking me? I didn't do anything… not that I knew of anyways.

"For what?" I asked.

"Defending my honor and all, it was very sweet of you," I could feel her smile, even if my lips were far away from hers, "Anytime."

Addie shivered violently in the night sky, I took off my jacket and put it lightly on her shoulders. She looked at me questioningly and told me, "You'll get cold if you give me your jacket." I just shrugged to her and said, "I like the cold, plus, I like doing things for you."

"Walk me down the end of the street, please?" I helped her to her feet and she stood facing the tombstones for a second or two… She whispered something but I couldn't quite catch it. Then she took my hand and nodded her head.

We walked down the empty street in the comfortable silence, looking at the flowers that lined the edge of the sidewalks. I looked over to her, but she would not return my glance, so I looked back down at my shoes that stepped in more puddles.

I looked at the light flicker on and off as we neared the lamppost. "What now?" I asked, turning to her and looking into her deep, dark, blue eyes. She took a small step closer to me and she seemed to be getting taller… Her lips found mine and I held Addie close, not knowing how long it would be until I could do this again. The kiss finally faded into little smiles that were placed onto both of our lips. I didn't want to say the word… it seemed to have little meaning before, but now… it meant everything.

"Goodbye Al." She kissed me and turned to leave, but I wasn't going to let her go that easily. I spun her around and pushed her back to my body. I took her in my arms, trying to soak in every moment with her that I could. I pushed her gently up to my lips and we kissed again. I stared at her eyes as we pulled out of the kiss and I stared.

I tried to find a reason why I should hold her be back. To be selfish and keep her all to myself. I needed her… she needed me… why was this so hard to think of plausible reasons to keep her here. So I tried to have a different approach. "I know I can't make you stay… but will you please come over for the summer? I miss you already and I don't think I can be away from you for so long."

She kissed me again and whispered, "Patience my love, patience."

I held onto her tighter and whispered into her ear, "If I have to wait a lifetime for you, I will. I will have all of the patience in the world for you… Just don't take too long." She let out a little giggle and looked up at me with saddened eyes.

"I won't love, I won't." When she kissed me, she was like an addiction… I didn't care how I got it, I just always wanted more. "And when I kiss you next, we will kiss until the morning sunrise comes up, to catch up on the times that we could have had."

This was a promise I was going to make sure she kept, so I asked her while still kissing her "Why. can't. you. just. stay. then?"

"You know I can't, I have to go to school-"

"Skip it, I can teach you everything you need to know about everything." I shrugged it off of my shoulders.

"You know I can't do that." She could, she just doesn't want to… Ravenclaws… what can you do about them?

"Who is stopping you?" I asked, slightly annoyed that she wasn't trying to stay.

"Well…" she couldn't think of a reason, "The only person standing in my way is me… but I want to finish my education… and I promise I will write, but I have to go… Please let me go…"

I held on tightly to her hand still, she tugged but she didn't move, "But letting you go would mean that you would have to leave… and that would mean letting a piece of my heart go with you."

"You aren't making this any easier for me," She moaned, and I smiled widely, "Then my plan is working."

"I really have to leave Al, they expected me four hours ago, and if you get a French veela mad, then it will probably be the last thing you do… Al, please, I have to go. I will owl you soon but I have to go." I pushed her into my chest one more time and I put all of my emotions into that one kiss that we shared. All of the hurt, love, friendship, heartache, and pain that we shared was placed neatly into one kiss. When we pulled apart, Addie looked at me as if she had just been spun around several times on a broom. "I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." She told me, hugging onto my jacket. I didn't want it back, but I realized how cold it could still be in May.

She looked at my eyes and stared… she looked away to put up her wand and The Knight Bus rolled its way down the street towards us.

She kissed me one last time and got on that bus… She was doing exactly what I told her not to do. When the door shut, I looked at Addie through the windows. I could see that she regretted her decision the moment she walked on the bus. She looked at me through the window and seemed as though she wanted nothing more than to get out and come to me. "Don't take too long." I told her, and she nodded, the tears were now visible on her cheeks.

As the bus slowly started to move, I put my hand up to her window. Her hand matched mine and I kept speed with the bus. He was slowly going up the hill, not going as fast as the bus normally would, but I knew when he picked up speed, there would be no way I could catch up. My hand was so close to hers. Her hand started tapping on the window as she cried even harder. I may have even let out a few tears myself, but I wasn't going to let her see. The rain hid them anyways.

The bus slowly picked up speed and when I couldn't keep up any longer I stopped and stared at the bus as it sped away, Addie's face got sadder and sadder as it got smaller and smaller. Letting her go, would be the biggest regret of my life.

_Yes, I know, LONG time no read. I'm sorry it's just I had to make up homework and stuffs. But I'm back. I do realize that this chapter is REDICULOUSLY long. It is 7,746 words by itself so I will try to keep this short. Please review about the chapter and try to get some of the begining stuff too because some people just focus on the ending, which is really good but I hardly ever get to hear about the begining unless I bring it up. :/ But I am back and I am here to stay. I'm sorry that it took me 19 days to get this out to you, but I hope the length makes up for the lack-of story that you haven't been reading from me._

_Side note: You can go check out my "new stories" it's little funny one shots that remind you that I'm not always making characters sad._

_Thank you so much for reading!_


	49. A special visit

_**Please Review :)**_

"Am I really that terrible?" She asked me after several minutes of silence.

"No, you aren't… Al is just in a rotten mood. You know when he doesn't get much sleep, he gets really crabby, and it's kind of like that right now. Only it's because he isn't getting the attention he needs from mum and dad." I tried to explain but Lily just looked glumly at her hands.

"Do you think what he said about Addie was true? That her dad and brother died?" Lily asked me quietly nibbling on an earwax bean.

"They did… they dedicated a whole page to them in the Quibbler. It seems a shame that he had to die two years before he went to Hogwarts." I shook my head as Lily stopped moving and stared at her feet miserably.

"I may not be terrible, but I certainly feel like it… Addie really has been a great friend… and I don't even think I've asked how she felt for months…" Lily tried to recall but the more that she could not, the more glum she seemed.

"But Lily, she understands you now and you understand her, that's all that matters. You both know what has been happening with the other." Lily shook her head sadly.

"But I don't know what has been happening with her. She was always asking me if I was okay, but we would always go into these long conversations in the nights… but I would never ask her how she was." Lily rested back into her pillow and nibbled on the part of a bagel that she had on her tray from this morning.

"Lily, if she hadn't told you anything, then you couldn't have known so it wasn't your fault. Don't beat yourself up over this." I told her, there was a few sharp knocks on the door before a short stubby woman came into the room.

"Hello Lillian, we have to do some blood work and do a few little tests on you today, so if you would like your brother to stay, he may, but if you would like him to go, I would ask that he leaves now." She brought in a giant cart full of needles with her. Lily looked at me sympathetically.

"My brother doesn't like needles, so I'll let him go home for a while. Um, how long could these tests take?" Lily asked nervously eying the needles.

"Oh it should only take an hour dear." I looked over to the plant in the corner, which had seemed a little brighter than when I had last looked at it… somehow it didn't seem so… dead. "So you should be able to come back in a few hours, because the shots that we need to give her make her drowsy."

I knew it was my queue to leave now, I gave lily a small hug and went out the door… not knowing what was in store for tonight.

0o0o0o0o0

"Harry, get down here quick." Ginny yelled from downstairs, her voice frantic with fear and worry. As I went down the steps Ginny held the telephone tightly in her hands. The phone shook violently as Ginny held it, "Its Ron."

I took the phone, "What is it?"

Ron's voice came from the other end of the line, "I just got here and I was going to check on our least favorite prisoner, but it seems that he has gone on a fieldtrip."

Ginny's hand took mine and she tried to act brave, but her shaking would not stop no matter how hard she tried.

"What are you talking about Ron?" I asked, giving Ginny's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Apparently Harper was told to go down to St. Mungo's for a visit. It was about an hour ago so I don't know what the hell happened that they let him go. Harry you might want to get over there, but don't tell Ginny… She'll be too worried and she'll go nuts." Ginny was already dragging me out of the door and into the backyard, the only place we could apparate without any muggles noticing.

"Too late." I muttered and hung up the phone and dropped it right before Ginny took us shooting up into a tube like feeling and our feet landed on the waiting room floor. Ginny dragged me up the stairs and when we got to Lily's room, there was Alex and Lily, her little body shaking in the corner as Alex had a shard of glass in his hand. I had just noticed the broken window and Lily's cut features.

Before I could whip my wand out, Ginny had jumped in front of Lily, extending her arms. I charged at Alex and held him back, taking the glass out of his hand. He started squirming in my arms as Lily cried, covering her bloody face. "You're worth nothing!" He screamed, trying to get at Lily, "This is what you get for being such a whore. You deserve this because this is all you will amount to be! You told me you loved me and you took it back? I gave you everything that you ever needed! You always wanted to have red hair Lily, and I gave it to you!" The corner of the room was filled with blood, especially Lily's hair. "I gave you what you wanted and now you don't want it anymore?! Well fine, do whatever you want with your life! But just to remind you, I'm the reason. I made you like this. Remember that Lily, remember that!" I dragged him out of the room and down the hall, pushing his face up against the wall.

"Once my daughter can give a fully detailed confession to the Wizengamot, I will be happier than hell to send you to Azkaban, do you realize that?" I asked, pushing him harder into the wall, making sure that he would not be able to move away.

"Yes… but before you go hurting me, Lily told me to come. And before you go doing anything to me, I think you should hear what your daughter has to tell you." He snarled, eying me with his left eye as I pushed his head into the wall harder.

"Quiet. Other aurors will be here any minute and you will be escorted right back to the ministry in a cell where you belong." I hissed nastily, feeling a little Slytherin.

Several long minutes later, Ron, Teddy, and Dean came hustling down the hall. We put a holding charm on him and they set their ways to the ministry, but not before Ron could attempt to sneak a glance in Lily's room, but the door was shut.

Ginny sat in the chair across from Lily's door, holding her face in her hands as Lily had. Not only was she crying, it was a loud kind of blubbering noise. She had always tried to hide when she cried, but this was when you knew something was really wrong. "Ginny?" I asked, going over to her. But she was so upset that she could not respond. "Ginny, what's wrong?"

It seemed as if Ginny had completely shut her whole body down and would only cry. "Ginny, please tell me what's wrong." But I couldn't understand a thing she said. She pointed to the door once, but that was all that I could really make out.

"Is Lily okay?" I asked, getting up but Ginny just made a high pitched noise.

"Ginny, what is it?!" I was growing frustrated of this game. But no later than two seconds later, Matthew Perks came out of Lily's door, his eyes holding back tears. He said nothing but looked at us. He silently gave us a nodding of his head and he left quietly to the right and he kept on walking… not once looking back at us.

_Okay, there was something that I felt needed to be addressed. I'm sorry if I have made you feel like you've had to review this story. You really don't have to review. I can't stop you from reviewing. A lot of people have decided that they would like to stop reviewing and that kind of made me push harder for people to review and that was wrong of me because even more people left. I'm sorry I got review hungry. My life has just been so stressful lately, and my summer finally begun last friday (t)echnically) so I am really sorry for all of the people that I have kind of pushed away, and I'd really love if you'd come back. Also I understand most people aren't out of school yet and that could also be the problem, but I just have been review hungry. A lot. Ha ha, review hungry.  
I'm sorry that I gave you a really long chapter before and now this one is a disappointment. I personally don't like this chapter but it sets you up for the next chapter and it keeps you wondering. You have to love my little suspense button! Which I will now go put it in its secret hiding place.  
I hope to put up a VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT chapter up soon.... and then... we will be onto bigger and better things._


	50. One Confession

**_Please Review!_**

"How is she?" asked a curious Scorpius Malfoy.

"I dunno…" I mumbled miserably, scrambling my eggs to the point of which I couldn't recognize what they were anymore but yellow.

"Well you must know, you saw her yesterday…"

"Things happen in a matter of minutes, how am I suppose to know if something terrible hasn't happened to her already… I mean I just said goodbye last night." I growled.

"But, you'll see her again, it's not like St. Mungo's is going to just let her leave…" Scorpius was persistent on this subject. He didn't even know that I was talking about a completely different girl than he was.

"I miss her already, and it hasn't even been twelve hours… how will I go all summer? How will I go all year? How will I go all my life?" I asked myself quietly, looking from my toast to my bagel, and something wasn't right.

"She won't die, and you can visit her again, sometime." He tried to comfort me, but he wasn't really helping… he was doing the opposite.

"Thank you for trying, but I don't really feel like explaining my life story to everyone right now." I mumbled, and he got up out of his seat and left me alone to think about my thoughts.

Why hadn't I asked Addie where she would be? Why had I let her go? And why on earth didn't I tell her how much I cared about her?

o0o0o0o0o

"Professor, I really think that if I don't have any OWLs, no classes, and it isn't meal time, then you don't have to keep me here. I mean, I'll be fine on my own. I just want to go see Lily quickly. Please Professor, I really don't think that you understand. You let Al go to Addie's dad's funeral but you won't let me go see Lily? After all that we have been through?" I asked, trying as much not to whine as possible. McGonagall looked at me with a less than sympathetic look.

"Mr. Perks, I cannot let just anyone go off of Hogwarts grounds for any willy-nilly reason that they may have, and I am sorry Mr. Perks, but I cannot allow you to go to St. Mungo's Hospital unless given permission by both of Lily's parents. Right now they are resting at home and I feel they deserve that rest, now if you do not mind, I need to get back to some paperwork-" I slammed my hand on her oak desk, now standing up and looking at her sternly.

"If anybody owes Lily and me anything, it is you. If anybody deserves the rules to be bent just for a tiny bit for them, don't you think I am the most deserving? I hardly ever pity other people into doing other things that I want, but please Professor, I really need to talk to Lily." She looked at me behind her glasses and tilted her head forward.

"Mr. Perks, I have had enough." One of the paintings piped up, it was the one on the end. "Minerva, maybe you should let the boy go… I mean, not like I have any sympathy for a Potter spawn, but he does present a few good points." The greasy black haired man gestured to me and seemed to be quite stiff.

"Oh Severus, the only reason that you're letting him go is because you know who's there, you can't possibly think that it would be a good idea to have those three children in a room. Remember the last time Mr. Perks was in here was because he had beaten up a boy; even if he is a prefect!" Barked a woman from across the room to the old head master.

"Who is there? Who is with Lily?" I asked, McGonagall was quiet and she seemed to not want to answer me.

Children… the only kids that weren't in school were… Lily... Addie… and Alex.

"Professor, are the portraits trying to tell me that the boy who raped my girlfriend is in the same room with her?" I questioned, when she didn't answer me, my blood started to boil. Like a cauldron, my blood boiled hard for the very reason of Alex Harper's existence.

"He is in the room with her?" I asked, my fists clenched tightly, impatiently waiting for my answer which I didn't want to hear.

"Remember the last time they were in a room, alone together? All of this exploded and now he's in the room again with her, who knows what's happening now!" In all of my fury, I did what no man in his right mind would have thought to do. I grabbed some floo powder and with all my might I threw down the powder while saying, "St. Mungo's!"

The last thing that I saw of McGonagall was her livid face, and I knew that when I got back to Hogwarts, I would be getting it.

I walked up straight to the girl at the desk who told me that I couldn't be helped. "Please, I need to know where Lily Potter is, it's an emergency. Alex Harper is in the same room as her and she can't stand up to him. I know she always gets sucked into how nice he is and then he goes and beats her!"

The woman looked at me from a distance and she didn't seem to understand the urgency that this was. I looked up at the board and said, "Fine, I'll just find her myself."

I went up several floors until I reached the intensive care unit.

Mrs. Potter was sitting in a chair across from a closed door that she seemed to have no intention of opening. Shock was stricken on her face as she stared at the door. I tried to get her attention but it seemed as though she wouldn't respond.

I walked into the room and found Lily with blood covering her body and clothes. She looked like hell, but I wasn't going to go and tell her that. Running over to her, I asked, "Are you alright?"

Her face was covered by her hands and knees as she cried. Lily wouldn't let me see her face, she just covered it up quickly. "Did he do this to you?" I asked, already knowing my answer.

Lily just shook her head yes, not able to speak with all of her crying. Her hands shook nervously as I talked and her hair seemed to be… red. "I don't like being red headed." She admitted, crying in panic, "I don't like this… I don't like what I've become… I don't like _it_." She muttered furiously at herself.

"Lily, should I call a healer in to see you?" I asked nervously, but she grabbed my wrist as it reached up for the button on her bed. Blood was now running down my arm, her face had risen up to mine and I saw the marks from where she had been cut. Her eyes seemed to cut through my soul, tearing at my spirit and my happiness. It was like you were staring right into a dementor's eyes as it was about to kiss you.

"No." She said hoarsely, not letting go of my wrist quite yet. "Not yet… I have to tell you something…"

"You know you can tell me anything Lily," I added quickly, seeing the hesitation in her lips. "You know I love you." When I spoke the word love, Lily made a furious twitch that made her look like she was having a minor seizure.

"You'll be mad…" she murmured, looking at her knees quietly, mesmerized by her knee caps.

"How could I ever be mad at you Lily?" I asked, putting my hand sweetly on her knee and rubbing it gently. She stared at my hand but then quickly shoved it off of her knee. "Don't touch me."

"Lily, what is going on?" I asked, trying to take her hand but she almost screamed, "Don't touch me!"

"Okay, okay!" I took both of my hands away and backed away from her a little bit. She gave me a death glare for the next several minutes, keeping to herself and muttering things that I could not understand.

"Are you going to tell me now or are you just going to stare at me angrily, when in fact I did nothing wrong?" Her jaw set and she looked away from my face. I heard some people rumbling outside, but I didn't let her pay any attention to them.

"You're already upset… see, why would I want to make you even more upset than you already are." She seemed to be staring at her feet which were now soaked in a pool of blood.

I took her by the shoulders and I shook her, like I had never shaken anyone in my life. Lily looked terrified for her life as I asked, "What the bloody hell aren't you telling me? Huh?"

Her horror filled her body and she began to shake. Tears started flowing from her eyes and as I kept on shaking her, I felt her heart skip several beats.

"I'm pregnant!" She screamed, as if being tortured by the cruciartus curse. I stopped shaking her and we both stared at each other for what felt like hours. I couldn't believe my ears and she couldn't believe me. Lily quickly took my hands off of her and she scooted even farther into her corner, taking a hold of her legs.

I got up from the floor and looked down at the girl… I turned away and walked out the door. As I shut the door, I heard a loud cry come from the room, but I tried to ignore it. I saw both Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting on the chairs from across the door. I quickly nodded to them and left the area… not able to look back at them.

This was the end of a relationship, the end of a memory, the end of a nightmare…

But it was also the start of a new life, the start of a new story, and the start of a new nightmare.

**_THE END_**


	51. Home Bound

_AN: HAPPY BELATED APRIL FOOLS! Muaaahhhaa. I never got you guys on April fools so I thought that this should be good enough. What? You thought that I would just end it without any warning at all? No. I'd tell you a few chapters before that it was coming up. Besides, I have to have 100 chapters ;) just kidding, I would never be able to make that many. But most of you didn't even freak out. Which kind of bummed me out ;) Well I've been planning this since January but I never got to it until now. I also promised that I would give you a title of the sequel before ending. Plus, I always put up a Q and A in the back of my stories. So that last part, was technically the end, so I wasn't lying, but it wasn't the end of the story. Just the end of that chapter and something else that you will find out later._

_I'm sorry if you didn't find it funny._

"What do you mean she's pregnant, she's just fifteen, not yet sixteen," Dad yelled furiously, pacing the room as he talked. "I'm going to kill that kid, for all that he has done."

"Harry, please, let's stay calm and figure out what we're going to do about the baby," Mum tried to calm dad down but he was going to go on a rampage.

"How can I stay calm when I know that some sick-minded kid is the father or my grandchild? The next thing you know, he'll be wanting rights for the kid." Harry threw up his hands furiously, walking faster now as he paced.

"I'm not going to let him touch her." I told them quietly, making both of my parents stop and look at me. "He's not going to see her and he's not going to be anywhere in her life."

"Lily, we have to decide on what we want to do with this baby. With the way that you are now, the baby is barely living. It needs more nutrition and it needs all the blood that you lost. With you refusing to eat every other meal, that isn't healthy for the baby and it could be very damaging." Mum stopped to look down and start again, "Also there are many other things to consider. Once you have the baby, how are you going to take care of it? Also, when you have the baby, that is going to be a lot of pain and with your figure now, it would be very difficult and painful for you to have a baby… Also, when you are a victim… and when you are in labor, you have painfully vivid flashbacks. Maybe more than you've ever remembered before." Mum looked up at me, with sympathetic eyes. "You don't have to torture yourself Lily. There are other ways… We would have the option of obliviating your mind, but we need that for your trial, which now cannot proceed until you are not pregnant for Veritaserum reasons."

"I don't want to forget everything," I protested from my bed, but I knew that there was no point in bringing it up just to fight about it. "But I know my consequences mum, and I want to have this baby."

Dad turned to face me now, "Baby girl, I really don't think that you're hearing your mother out. There are other options to consider, adoption, abortion, and keeping the baby is definitely not an option."

"Harry," Mum said curtly, "being small minded is not going to help any of us to reach a decision."

"You can't tell me that you want to keep that devil spawn do you?" Dad said a little too loudly for me to hear. Dad was in his Auror mode when all I wanted was to keep a child that was rightfully, mine.

"Adoption is always an option Harry," Mum cut in quickly, trying to keep away from what dad and I both wanted.

"I don't want to give away my own baby; I'm not going to have someone else take care of his actions. I'm not taking the 'easy way out' I want to take care of my child. Just like you wanted to take care of me dad," He froze in mid-pace, "You knew that mum wanted me, you knew that mum wanted a daughter so badly that she would dress Al and James up in tutus because she wanted a girl so badly. But you kept me, and you told me when you held me in your arms, it was the most magical feeling in the world, unlike anything else. Why can't I have that?"

"Lily, this is hard for your father, he still thinks of you as his baby girl. He's just doesn't want you to go through all of that pain that you will feel." Mum tried to explain but if I really wanted something, then why wouldn't he let me?

"I can take it. I've come this far, haven't I?" Mum and dad didn't dare look at me to challenge me. "I've gone through this much hell, haven't I? I can take it."

"Lily, but can your body? You are pushing your body to some high extremes from being really skinny to really big. Are you ready for that?" I nodded my head, I knew what I wanted in life and I knew that it was going to be hard getting there, but I was willing.

"Then you've got to start eating healthily and eating meals three times a day, you have to start gaining weight. Also, I want you to be taking vitamins every day, and I want you to listen to everything the doctors say, do you understand me?" Mum asked, glaring in my general direction.

"Yes. I understand."

Mum and Dad left the room to have a "discussion," which really meant that they would be fighting out in the hall. I pressed my ear up to the door and I listened in on their conversation.

"Ginny, you can't be serious that you think this is a good idea." Dad said angrily, as if mum was always supposed to agree with him, even if he was wrong. "We have to stay strong as a couple so that the kids know what is right and what is wrong."

"But I don't think abortion is the right way to go about this Harry, adoption, fine. Abortion isn't going to solve anything and this way, Lily will gain weight." Mum said hopefully.

"And then once you take her child away, she's going to lose it all again." Dad retorted back, I could hear him pacing still. "Then we'll be back where we started."

"Maybe if we let her keep…"

"No Ginny, no. We don't need a baby crawling around everywhere. And more importantly, we don't need _his_ family genes in our grandchild." Dad spoke nastily of Alex… I didn't completely blame him after everything that he'd done… he seemed so nice at times… but then he would beat you up.

"I'm just saying Harry; ultimately, it isn't your decision. It's Lily's and I just want her to know that we support her in whatever she chooses. I don't want her to think that we don't support her." Mum fought, I could tell she had her hands on her hips because she was using her, "you won't win this battle so you might as well just give up now" tone.

"But I can't lie to her Ginny, I don't agree with keeping the baby, and neither should you. Do you know what we're deciding here? The fate of everyone that surrounds us in our lives. Not to mention the lives of all of the unborn souls that our grandchild would meet." Dad tried to win but this argument would never be settled between the both of them.

"Then we'll both think about it. We have to be open minded though. Remember Harry, don't force her into any decisions that she doesn't want to make." Mum said, that was the last that I heard because I knew how the rest of that conversation would go and then they would accidentally hit me in the head with the door, realizing that I had been eavesdropping.

I jumped into bed and I watched my parents come back in, acting as if they had not been fighting in the hallway. "So Lily, what would you like for supper?" Mum asked.

My stomach growled furiously at me, I couldn't tell whether this was a hungry growl, or a, if you eat too much, I'll throw up the next morning. "Umm… some chicken would be nice."

Mum glowed with happiness and said, "I'll go tell the healer that you're feeling up for some food."

When she left my brain moaned… great, she left me alone with dad. Just what I needed to brighten up my day. Not only did he want to kill my child, but he had not once yet asked me if I was okay. He was looking around the room for anything to talk about, "Well… how has your day been?" He asked, not just yet realizing how stupid this question had been.

"Pretty terrible. How was being killed by Voldemort yet you somehow miraculously lived?" I snapped back, he looked at me and gave a frown. He hinted my sarcasm.

This shut him up until mum got back, she smiled happily as she brought in a tray. Mum seemed to be floating gracefully on the floor that she walked on. She put the tray on my lap and walked back over to a chair, picking up a magazine that she would pretend to read while she secretly watched me eat.

I took a bite out of the chicken and I immediately wanted to gag. I was doing this for mum, I was doing this for my baby, but most of all I was doing this… for me.

I swallowed it… fat and all.

I watched mum smile as she flipped through the pages of _Witch Weekly_ seeing a picture of Al on the front. He didn't seem ready for the photo to be taken. "Did you know that Gwen's favorite snack is peach pie? I didn't even know that. I always believed it to be apple pie…"

Quietly munching on my food, I tried to distract myself from chewing on the fat that I was consuming. "Oh, look, here it says, Peter Fradette, known boy genius, has now decided on his favorite color. He said that his favorite color is yellow."

I finished ¾ths of my chicken, and I finished all of the salad that my mum had put on my plate. When I pushed the tray away my mum looked up from her magazine and asked, "Are you done? Because I can take that away for you."

Nodding, she got up and placed the tray on an end table in a corner of the room.

"You did very well on your food, I am very proud of you Lily," She told me smiling, and she looked over at dad, who had fallen asleep in his chair.

"Before you were proud of me for getting straight A's, now you're proud of me when I eat a meal… I just don't think you should be praising me for something that most people do three times in one day." I murmured, looking at my feet.

"Lily, I am proud of all of your accomplishments, big or small. And when you do something right, I am going to praise you." Mum seemed different, in a smothering kind of way. "I've missed so much of your life by you going off to school, that I've been missing you and I feel like I hardly know my own daughter anymore."

I couldn't look at her face… I couldn't even look in her general direction. Sure I had been distant during the summers, but she didn't try to get to know me more then, what was the difference now?

"I've missed you Lily, and maybe this is a sign that we need to become closer again." Mum tried to get me to look at her, but I wouldn't. "I just want a sense of normalcy in this family."

Before I could look at her, there was a light knock on the door. It was a healer trainee. "Hi, Miss Potter, we would like to take some tests on you to see if your baby is doing alright." Dad quickly got out of the room, making note that he didn't want to be around for any girl stuff.

"Mrs. Potter, you must stay because with a minor, you have to be present in the room." Mum hadn't been planning on leaving anyways; she just sat in the chair beside my bed and held my hand. Throughout all of the procedures, that was what she did.

When the healer trainee was done she left the room quickly and came back in with a experienced healer who came to look in at the test results. I knew something had been wrong by the way that the healer trainee looked so confused. Mum blew this off, knowing that most interns get nervous, but I had been right, something was wrong.

They tried to explain this as dumb as they possibly could, but I still hadn't fully understood it. "So what you're saying is my baby is growing at three times the rate of a normal baby?"

"Essentially, when you had an unforgivable curse placed on you just several days after you conceive, your pregnancy is sped up. The death rate is no higher than a regular pregnancy, but the premature rate is much higher… this is why I am putting you on bed rest." The healer wrote something down on a chart and handed it to the trainee. "If you continue to eat balanced meals, we will be able to release you in a week, but we will have to send several people over to your house to check up on your baby. Also, you will not be able to sit or stand up for more than two hours a day, and it cannot be a consistent two hours. I will make up a list of rules that you must follow, but for now I have given you the basics. How was your meal?"

"I can't get out of bed for the next nine months?" I asked, my jaw dropped.

"No, just three, by that time, we expect your baby to have been born, that is why you are being put to bed rest. Also, you are being allowed two hours a day. To shower and whatever you may need to be doing, but any more than two hours is absolutely forbidden."

Three months in the same bed sounded a whole lot like hell to me.

"Starting today, you will have an extra care taker. She is certified and she needs something to keep her focused." The door opened to a little elf and my jaw dropped.

"Winky? That's very generous of you… but I personally don't think I need a house elf to look after me. My mum's home all day, and I just don't need a house elf." I didn't want Winky. When I was sick she would take away my books. Now I would have nothing to do but read and rest… for a whole three months.

I guess I learned something very important today. You do everything and anything you can for the ones that you love, even if you don't know them yet.

**_Please Review! :)_**


	52. Home Again

**_Please Review! :)_**

I ate all three meals for ten days. My parents and brothers seemed to be proud of me, but I didn't really see a real reason to get over excited or a person eating. They put me on a schedule that would limit how much food I would lose in the morning with my terrible morning sickness. They had me eat little in the mornings, have a giant lunch, and then I would have a medium dinner. I wasn't arguing with this plan, but I didn't think that it was all that great.

Mum was packing my things on that raining Thursday afternoon, she asked me, "Are you excited to go home?"

"Yeah." I lied. Sitting in the same room with the same walls with the same memories was not something that I wanted to relive necessarily.

"I will be glad to have you back home, and then Al is coming back in just a couple of weeks so then the whole family will be back in the house." She said excitedly, putting in the last item of my clothes in my suitcase.

"I can't wait mum." I told her, adjusting were I lay in bed… like I had for ten days straight, which may have caused my insanity.

"Now, you can get up, but get up slowly. Dad's bringing you a wheelchair so that you can have for at home, since you shouldn't be walking too much. I nodded, that I understood, but I didn't fully agree.

Mum seemed the happiest out of anyone else that had found out about the pregnancy. Al fainted when he heard. James turned green and wouldn't say much, dad obviously wasn't in a good mood about it, and Matt… well, to be calm about it… he was infuriated.

Dad came in with the wheelchair and asked, "Ready to go kiddo?"

"As ready as I'll ever be dad." I hadn't really forgiven dad since he had not yet changed his mind about the baby. Sure, he had the right to his own opinion, but sometimes that opinion got in the way of his parenting.

When we left the hospital… we were followed… no more like… ambushed.

Paparazzi were filling the streets and they attacked us with questions like wild beasts. I didn't understand why mum and dad put up with them; dad just kept on saying, "no comment." Mum on the other hand completely ignored the ass holes that kept on taking our picture. They followed our car and all the way home too. I could barely even get through the door without one of them following me. It was insane.

A notebook with a quill followed us in along with a brown beetle; I looked at it and smashed it with my foot. Dad and mum both looked at me quickly, then looked at each other, but decided to say nothing on me killing the _pest._ Dad enchanted the notebook to go away and he led me back up to my room. When we passed Al's room, I could see a few boxes in the corner of his room… I was going to ask dad but I decided against it.

We got to my room and it looked exactly the way I had left it. It was clean and sanitary, unlike my brothers' rooms.

He set me down on my bed and he said, "I know this isn't exactly the welcoming you wanted when you came home honey, but it will have to do." He tucked me into bed and gave me a kiss on the forehead before sitting back down on my bed.

"What do you think I should name her? I'm kind of fond of the name-" but dad was quick to cut me off from trying to start a conversation.

"Lily, I don't think you should be focusing on naming the baby quite yet, I think you should wait a while. Maybe you could just focus on getting healthy… And I don't think you should be so quick to call it a she either, there aren't very many Potter or Weasley women. Now I want you to just relax and keep a low key. Winky will should be here soon to keep an eye on you while your mother and I go to pick up some ingredients for the potions that we're brewing."

"Just because I am pregnant doesn't mean that I am not capable of staying in one spot for a long time, in fact, that should be all the more reason. I don't need a house elf." Dad flinched at the word, "pregnant" and his expression softened the slightest bit.

"It's not so much you needing a house elf; it is the house elf needing you. You see, when I was at Hogwarts, Winky had a large drinking problem. Butterbeer may be harmless to wizards and witches, but to house elves it is very strong." Dad tried to explain, "And it's just another set of eyes on you."

"And baby Samantha," I told him and his face went a deep shade of green.

He said nothing else and left my door, luckily an extendable ear was next to me and it went to my door, mum had been waiting outside my door, listening in on our conversation, so now it was my turn.

"Ginny, I'm having trouble with this, first she's in my arms and now she's on bed rest for her own baby, I mean, how could this have happened Ginny?" Dad asked, having another panic attack.

"Well, you see Harry, babies are still made the same way from when we were making them, and you see the boy…" Mum and I couldn't help but laugh at it, but dad did not seem amused.

"That is not funny Ginny; I mean, for god's sake, you just got her that, what was it? A beginning bra or whatever for her last birthday?" Dad said out of breath, like his airways were closing.

"Harry, that was three years ago, and it was a training bra, she needed one then, and it made her feel more like a woman. It was her rite of passage Harry. It is a girl thing that you obviously wouldn't understand." Mum said, brushing him off.

Dad seemed less than amused with this conversation, "I don't care when it was, she is still my baby girl, you're taking her childhood away from her and turning her into an adult too quickly-"

"Harry, this is not my fault, I hope you do know. If Lily had told us something before that had happened than she never would have got put into making this decision, but she never told us. I won't have you blaming me Harry Potter, do not make this my fault." Mum was waving her finger, I could tell by the way her words weren't quite as clear.

"If Harper hadn't reproduced than we wouldn't be in this situation-"

"I hope you do realize Harry, that Alex Harper was probably produced that your grandchild was produced, and don't you dare ever do that again, never. You think about what you say Harry before you go and hurt someone. Next time, I won't be as forgiving." Mum stomped downstairs and I heard nothing else.

My parents started fighting all because of me and what I had done to myself. I had no one else to blame besides Alex and me. I could blame so many more people, but that would just be like a coward… and I didn't want to remind myself of how I was unlike any other Weasley or Potter.

_I always thought of Rita Skeeter as a little bug bitch... lol.  
I put death, bras, and paparazzi all in one chapter! :) Harry talking about bras is pretty damn funny on my watch.  
Sorry for the short update and such a long time updating... bleck. 9 days but it feels longer.  
In the next chapter you will ALL be very happily surprised. :D_


	53. Letters

**_Please Review!_**

In a cluttered room I stumbled for the parchment, a quill, and some ink. Throwing several things out of place, I finally found what I needed and sat on the dusty stone floor. I reminded myself that this was something that I had promised to do, but I didn't want to have them worry…

So like any one in my family, I lied and told the opposite of what I felt or had seen.

I took the parchment in my hands and I stared at it. How daunting it looked in my pale hands that clutched it tightly in my numb fingers. To start a letter this important was nearly impossible. Lying to the ones that you loved was even harder…

I started scribbling, _dear love,_ but this was quickly scratched off and replaced with a standard saying.

_Dear Al,_

_Please excuse me for leaving so soon, and for leaving at all. I regret it terribly, but I'm having much fun at Beauxbatons. All of the girls like me,_- I found yet another piece of pudding in my hair, they had started throwing it at me during lunch while no teachers were looking-_ they even shared their pudding with me today. You don't have to worry about the guys here, they all are attracted to the veelas in this school_- Another lie, several boys pinched my bum in the hallways, every single time when a teacher was there, so I couldn't hex them.-_ I have a lovely room with a wonderful view, I share it with eight girls! They aren't any Lily, but they are quite interesting to listen to_- I didn't have a roommate, I was shoved into an old broom closet, turned into room. I saw yet another rat crawl past me, and I let out a scream- _In our care of magical creatures class, we get more up close and personal with the animals than we ever did with Hagrid. I feel like I know more and more about the little critters each and every day. I got to even take a few to my room and take care of them for a project. I ended up killing a few by mistake_- If you considered me running around my room with a shoe trying to attack the spider that thought my room was its new home then, yes, it was an accident. -_ But my teacher didn't mind. Most people are trying to figure me out still, because I'm new, but that's okay. I miss you terribly and I wish I could go back to Hogwarts just to see you. I wrote a little something for you in my spare time:  
__Playfully teasing each other as we walked in the halls, laughter warms my heart when I think of the times we shared, encouraging the other to do their best, a swarm of butterflies flutters in my stomach when I think about you, songs of love remind me of you, everlasting love that we share, sadness that fills my heart when I realize how far apart we are, a long time until we meet again is something I cannot bear to think, violence that surrounds our everyday lives, evenings spent with each other as we just held onto each other, mindless nonsense, exciting adventures, Al, loving you is something I always do.  
__It's probably rubbish, but I'll let you read it and see how you, determine what it means. See if you get the feeling that I put into this message. I've got to go study some more, but I will write soon, but please do not write back, at Beauxbatons they are strict about the owls that they allow in. Anyways, I really must go now love, I will write soon._

_With all the love my owl can carry,  
__Addie Abraham_

I folded the letter and attached it to my owl, setting it free outside the window. I hoped that he would get my message, but I doubted that he would reveal the secrets that this letter contained, for it contained more than just my heart, but my life.

_I know that it is extremely short, about the shortest chapter that I have ever made for this story. But to be honest, I felt like you all needed to be reminded of Addie and several of you have been complaining that we haven't seen her. If you can crack the code, I'll give you an invisible-inedible-cyber cookie. Though it'll be pretty obvious when you're right.  
Another excuse as to why this chapter is so rediculously short this chapter is, is because I kept on sobbing throughout the whole chapter. It had more to do with the fact of my most recent break up than anything else but it had slightly to do with the sequel... Poor Al and Addie.... :C I just needed a break from Lily too. I just needed to write this and I kept on putting it off for six days and then I'm like, "Okay, fine, just sit down and write it." And I never ever have cried at a chapter, until now. Not even the "M" chapter. You can call me a heartless bitch like one girl at my school does, but I just am incapable of crying... Besides randomly sobbing at "The Fray" in the car up north this weekend.  
God, I feel lazy and annoying right now, but this is a really important chapter to keep an eye on. Try to RIDDLE me out. Muahahaha... I'm sorry for being so evil to you guys, I really am._


	54. The Plan

**_Please Review!_**

Small brown barn owls do not come every day to your plate; this is why I knew that it was a special day. Addie's handwriting was all over the envelope that I took in my hands and as soon as I untied the owl, it flew off. She didn't put a send back address, so this slightly worried me.

I read the letter once, twice, and then an eighth time. Something didn't seem right. Why had she told me not to write back? Was she embarrassed of me, or was Beauxbatons really that strict about the owls that they allow into their school? I looked over the letter one more time and I stowed it away carefully in my pocket, where it would not get hurt. A Daily Prophet was sitting across from me and I grabbed it carefully, looking at the front cover, I saw Lily covering her face and mum and dad trying to shield her.

"Hiding from the world: Lillian Potter's story," This article had not been written by Rita Skeeter, apparently she had gone missing after trying to report on a story and got somehow lost on her way. This did not make the front page, because ever since the Quidditch match, Lily has always been on the front page.

"Oi, Potter!" Shouted a Slytherin, hissing in his own little way, "Now that your sister is pregnant, does that mean she can have all of that hot prefect bathroom sex she wants?!"

I turned around and spun so fast that the people around me felt a gust of wind. Scorpius was nowhere to be found, and neither was a teacher. "Because if so, I'll take her, even if she is a filthy blood traitor like the rest of you lot are. All of you red heads and then her, I wonder why she didn't become a ginger, maybe it was because she was adopted? Is the Potter family not telling us something? Either way, I bet she's a freak in the sheets. You know, with all of her bones showing and all, kind of disgusting to look at but you get past that after you've seen her naked body lying there day after day after-" He didn't get to finish his sentence because I was jumping over the Slytherin table just to get after him. My wand was at the ready and everyone had stopped their side conversations and gossip. Everyone's eyes were on us.

"Don't you dare talk about my family like that ever again, or next time you won't be so lucky. My mum and dad taught me some pretty damn good curses and I've been wanting to try them out." I gritted my teeth, and my knuckles were whiter than chalk.

My wand was jabbed into his neck and he was slowly catching his breath. "Fine." He said breathlessly. As I was putting my wand away he smiled quickly and asked, "So is Addie Abraham any good at shagging? I mean, she won't put out for anyone else but for you I would think that she would, since you're famous and that's all anybody ever cares about-" I might have put my wand away but that didn't stop me from pounding that little bastard's face in.

I threw punch after punch after punch. I could hear his jaw be crushed by my fist. Several people had surrounded us now and were watching us closely. People even started cheering, it felt good to pummel his face into the ground, but I quickly felt a jolt shoot me upright and stand me on my feet. Professor Longbottom stood in a clearing of students, and it was the angriest that I have ever seen him. "That's enough; go on to your classes immediately." He yelled… he had never yelled.

Everyone else scampered away as I just looked down at the pathetic Slytherin. He got up slowly and he ran to Madame Pomfrey's office, where he would be taken care of. Mr. Longbottom however would be the one that would be taking care of me. He put his hand on my shoulder, "We need to talk."

"Um, professor, I have class in eight minutes, I can't really stay and chat right now… I mean the last thing that my parents want right now is another problem and my grades slipping is not something that they would like to see happen." He just pushed me forcefully on my shoulder and he led me to his office.

"Were you thinking at all when you started to hit that boy?!" He shouted, running his fingers through his hair like dad and James had always done when they were nervous. "My guess was that you weren't thinking! Because you seemed pretty mindless right there."

"Professor, to be fair, he had been talking about my family, sir." I informed him, "He had been saying terrible things about Lily and about my whole extended family." I added quietly to myself, "and my future family…"

"I don't give a rat's arse if he was-" Neville stopped and I recognized him now, he seemed less tense and furious and he was a little more understanding. None the less he was still furious with me. "Mr. Potter, you do realize that you are Head Boy, don't you? You have more responsibilities than just wearing a badge. You have to represent yourself in a certain manor, and that was definitely not it."

"I understand Professor." I said, bowing my head even lower. What would mum and dad say when they heard about this?

He had calmed down considerably and looked at me with his eyes wandering, "What got you so riled up to go and physically attack that boy?"

"I told you, he was talking about my family. He deserved it." I mumbled, muttering angrily to myself. Neville sat in his desk and motioned for me to sit in the chair across from him. He was the first teacher I had ever seen put his feet on top of his desk and placed his hands behind his head.

"Just because someone deserves to be hit, does not mean that you hit them. What specifically did he say to you Al?" He had reduced to my nickname, which was low. He knew me all too well for me to be keeping things from him. After all, he was my godfather. "Remember, you can tell me anything."

"He was talking badly about my family…" I mumbled to my shoes, and even quieter I murmured, "And Addie."

"Addie Abraham? Now why in Merlin's pants would he be talking to you about Adeline? No, why would you care if he was talking about Adeline, I mean, it isn't as if you cared for her-" He stopped immediately as my eyes met with the professor's. "You care for her." He mumbled to himself, apparently he had been new with Addie and I. Neville took his legs off and scooted his chair up closer to his desk. He talked to me as if he didn't want to be heard by his Mimbulus Mimbletonia in the corner of the room. "Really now? How long has this been going on?"

"It hasn't been going… it never even got to start… but it's gone now… she's gone now." Neville looked at me and looked almost sympathetic for me.

"She'll be back again someday, and maybe by that time you'll have planned out what to say and how to react when you first see her. It's not like she'll be gone forever." I tried not to think about Addie as much as I could, but this was impossible. Every second I worried about her in the back of my mind, wondering what she was doing and that was what made me go crazy.

I looked up towards my godfather and told him, "What if there isn't a next time. What if our paths never cross again? What if I go another sixteen years without kissing her?! What if I go a lifetime without seeing her eyes sparkle? I don't think I can handle that… I'm pretty sure I can't."

He gave me one glance, and then a second, "You've kissed her?"

"Technically she kissed me," I corrected him, but my spirits slowly lowered, "Then again… I had wanted to, but for some reason I just couldn't do it… She was somehow… too special, I kind of thought that she was too special for me, but I guess… she felt the same way."

"Do you love her?" He asked as if he was asking what I would like for dinner.

"More than anyone can ever know." I admitted, but before Neville could reply, the door burst open with a loud clang.

"Mr. Longbottom, may I speak to Mr. Potter alone?" McGonagall asked, but it was more of an order.

"No need to Minerva. I took the appropriate actions and Mr. Potter will be spending the rest of the school year in detention with me." McGonagall looked like she had just been slapped on the face.

"Mr. Longbottom, there are only fourteen days left of this school year. Do you think that this is the right action to take? Maybe a more drastic action should be taken…"

"Minerva, the same thing happened in my fifth year. Only it was Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter with George Weasley. You gave them both a week of detention, for the same action. If anything, I feel as though I am being a bit harsh on my godson." Neville could be so mad, and then the next minute, you feel like he's your older brother.

"Dad and Uncle George attacked Scorpius' dad?!" I asked, shocked, but both professors ignored me, once again.

McGonagall looked scandalized. "T-That was different" She sputtered.

"Muggle dueling, I see it as the same offense. This also had to deal with family taunting before the act was committed. Mr. Potter could have a strong case on harassment if he wanted." Neville said, McGonagall looked absolutely livid, up until this point. Her face softened in the slightest bit and she asked bitterly, "What did he say to provoke you?"

"I'd rather not say. I think I've said enough to Mr. Longbottom, professor." I told her, not wanting to go into detail of what he had said.

McGonagall scolded us for the next few minutes and then left with steam coming out of her nose. As the door shut, Neville told me, "You're lucky I got to you first. Now go on and try to stay out of trouble. After all, you only have fourteen days left in this school, just keep a low key?"

To stay out of trouble the last two weeks for a Weasley, was like saying to a match close to a firework, it won't go off. I needed to be remembered by my class and by everyone in this school. I needed to be remembered for me, and not my family, Albus Severus Potter is going to pull the best damn prank that Hogwarts has ever seen performed.

o0o0o0o0o0o

The harder that we tried to cheer Matt up, the angrier he'd get at us. For several days he shut himself up in the dormitory and refused to come out. Flitwick had to drag him out of the dorm just so that he could make him shower because we all complained about his smell. We could deal with his odor, but we could not deal with his attitude. He would snap at one of us for breathing funny or too loudly. Matt would even wake us up if we had been snoring, because he wouldn't be able to handle the snoring until he could fall asleep.

I had about enough of this by the time it had become Friday, "Are you coming down to breakfast? Or are you just going to mope here, because I guess that works too."

"What's the point in eating when you have no reason to live?" He mumbled miserably, I had smuggled Matt food on occasion, but I was sick of his sour attitude.

"You've got all the reason to live, but you're just sitting up here doing not a damn thing because you found out that your girlfriend got knocked up by another guy!" I spat angrily, this was the first time that I had ever yelled at Matt. He looked at me, appalled that I had raised my voice so loudly.

"I'm sorry that it isn't the exact news that I wanted to hear from my ex girlfriend." Matt would no longer address Lily by her name, nor would he call her his girlfriend any longer.

"She couldn't do anything, she didn't choose to have sex with him, he forced her to have sex with him. I don't see how you can blame Lily for getting raped. Isn't that a bit much like a bastard thing to do, even for you?" I moved my trunk and slammed it shut, changing into my school uniform, but I made it loose and I did not put that ugly grey vest on.

"She is the one that let this get out of hand. I gave her all of the opportunity in the world to tell an adult, but she didn't. If she had then she wouldn't have gotten raped and she wouldn't have that devil child floating around in her." Spite did not look good on Matt.

"So that means that you aren't going to support her anymore? You're going to leave her right when she needs you most? You're going to leave Lily to take care of this baby on her own and you aren't going to have anything to do with the baby?" I asked, tightening up my tie a little too tight.

"_It_ isn't my _problem_. _It_ isn't my _mistake_."

"I think that this baby is your problem, because you're still in love with Lily and you're denying it. You may not want anything to do with this baby right now, but you will regret not being there for her when she needs you. You are going to regret it every single minute of your life, you are going to wonder if you could have made it work with Lily, but you chose not to because of the fact that she was raped." Why was I getting so defensive? On the other hand, I really did think that Matt was wrong.

"She was the one that is deciding to keep the baby… Even though the chance of it surviving is slim to none… after it dies then Lily and I can-"

"YOU'RE WISHING AN UNBORN BABY DEATH?! HOW COULD YOU?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I was pretty sure even the Slytherins in the dungeons could hear me on that yell. My blood boiled over and I felt the rage hit my fingers. I wanted nothing than to shake him right now. "You're waiting for a baby to die so that you can be with Lily? What kind of sick person are you?!"

Matt didn't speak for a long time, and then he said in a hollow voice, "I think that you should go eat now."

I grabbed my shoes furiously and told him, "I hope you rot up here, because sooner or later, you're going to piss every single one of us off enough so that we're going to kill you."

Storming out of the room, I slammed the door and walked down the steps. When I got to the common room, I looked at all of the Ravenclaws, who were all staring at me. "I think I'll put my shoes on out in the hall."

Without another word or a glance, I walked out of the common room, and I let out a sigh, thinking. "What a turn of events."

_Ahhh Neville, oh how much I love you. :)  
Al too, I love him too.  
I feel so bad for Tyler.  
I was very glad to get a break from a whiny, angsty, annoying Lily. Sorry but her character has been annoying me so much lately. But I hope that you all liked the chapter and don't hate me too much *covers and hides from angry reviewers*_


	55. Caleb Matthews

**_Please Review!_**

Tapping my fingers on my headboard would not get me out of bed rest any faster. A healer was supposed to be coming over to check on mine and the baby's progress any minute now. Irritated that I could not get out of bed, I tried to occupy my time with things other than thinking.

The fight of Matt and Alex raged on in my mind. Matt had recently showed his angry side towards me… violently shaking me to the point of which I started sobbing. I didn't know what to think of him anymore, he left me stranded… all alone.

Interrupting my thought, mum knocked softly on the door, and I told her to come in. She was followed by a short, plump woman with big green eyes and a wide smile. "Hello Lily, I am Healer Rodgers, and I am here to check up on your baby today." The woman said with a smile, it was not a smile like, "I'm happy to be here." It was more like, "When that baby comes shooting out of you, I'll have to be right there, waiting to catch it as it flies out."

I was not excited to meet, Healer Rodgers, because she had been the person to push me into a bed for the next three months of my life. Her appearance reminded me of my grandmother, but she was missing two very important things of being a Weasley. She was without red hair and freckles, exactly like me.

This woman poked and prodded me for what seemed like forty minutes taking my measurements and making sure I was healthy and when she was done she said. "Well Lillian, since your bed rest, you have gained 20 pounds, which is simply remarkable. Your family has been feeding you well I see, and your baby is doing… fine for the circumstances that it has been forced in. It is a little underweight, but the more that you are in bed the better. I am restricting you now to one hour out of bed and make sure you eat more meats. The red meat is good for your baby." Ten minutes later, she said her goodbyes and left me in my room, looking stupidly at my feet that were swollen like grapefruits.

Twenty pounds… _Twenty fucking pounds of pure fat. Holy shit, I'm going to be a whale by the time this thing is about ready to burst!_

My head relaxed on the pillow and I mumbled angrily about my weight and my even more limited time allowed out of bed. Two weeks in counting until I had some real entertainment in this house.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The one girl at Beauxbaton's that didn't have an obscene crush on me was, the new girl. She kept to herself and no one talked to her besides when they would tease her. If anything, I felt a little bit repulsive when I was around her. One day when the sun was already set, I saw her sitting outside on the grounds under a tree, reading a piece of parchment.

Walking up to her, I stopped and stared at her… she wasn't the prettiest girl, but this was after all, what I had to do. I coughed loud enough for her to hear me, but she ignored me. I coughed again, and she didn't even flinch. I coughed a third time and she stowed the parchment with an annoyed sigh. "Why am I so interesting to the people in this school? I mean, its one thing to stare at me for a day, but I mean I've been here for a week and people are still gawking at me like I'm a penguin in the desert!" She was almost screaming at me… note to self, has a little bit of a temper.

The new girl looked up at me and let out a high pitched scream, but I covered her mouth abruptly, "What are you crazy?! People will think I'm trying to rape you or something, which I'm not. I'm simply coming over to you to introduce myself."

She went very quiet, and she only stared at my eyes. I somehow go mesmerized by her dark blue eyes that were covered by her glasses that sat neatly on her perfect nose.

The new girl grabbed all of her stuff and threw it into her bag, and ran swiftly away back to the palace. I quickly tried to keep up with her, but she walked so fast that I was almost out of breath by the time I got up to the top of the hill. If I had to be completely honest, I could watch her walk away from me all day. I followed her to a deserted hallway, where she went into a known broom cupboard that most people make out in.

Was this her shy way of asking me to join her? She must have known that I had still been following her… When I opened up the closet door, she was staring at me with wide eyes. Belongings were cluttering the room and in the corner, there was a pillow and blanket. This couldn't possibly be her way of trying to get me into bed, was it?!

The blonde haired girl huddled into the corner opposite of the pillow and blanket, shaking in fear of her life. "I just wanted to know your name… Maybe even ask you out for a date, but I really don't think that inviting me to have sex with you was exactly what I had in mind…"

"I really didn't think that stalking me was an invite for sex." She snapped back, "Get out of my room, you aren't allowed in-"

"This is your room?" I looked around the room and didn't even think that it was even good enough to be a broom cupboard. "It looks like the person who built this forgot about this one space and just slapped a door on it. There are beds that aren't even being used upstairs, come up to them." I offered, but she seemed indifferent.

"I don't think Al would be too pleased with that, besides, I'm fine here. I don't need your pity." This girl was unlike any other girl in Beauxbatons. She didn't want any help from anyone and she wasn't complaining about anything. Al must have been her father that she called by his first name.

"It's not pity, its extra space, please, I don't want to see you just be stubborn for the point of no reason." She seemed to stare at me for the longest time.

"You don't even know my name, and you want to help me?" Her eyebrow raised and her hands folded neatly on her slender waist.

"Fine, what is your name?"

"My mom told me not to talk to strangers."

"But- but you have been talking to me this whole time!"

"I will tell you my name on one condition."

"What is that?" I asked, quickly growing tired of this game.

"You won't annoy me when we're alone again. When other people are around fine, but when we're alone, you don't annoy me and you are a complete gentleman." Just for knowing her name? How could I commit to something so big as to not be annoying? "Fine, what is your name?"

"My name is Addie Abraham, and yours is Caleb Matthews. Now that we're acquainted, you can leave me alone." She started pushing me out of her door, when I realized something.

"Wait, how did you know my name?" Addie stopped moving me and looked up at my yellow eyes.

Her lips slowly parted, as if she was about to say something, but then she closed them. As I looked at her, she looked down and took her hands off of me. In a whisper, she said, "I heard kids calling you that in the dining hall…"

"Oh," we stared at each other's eyes for what seemed like hours. She broke the eye contact and I let out a cough, "Well, I guess I should get going… but I would like to show you the extra bed that we have."

o0o0o0o0o0o

Caleb frightened me in all ways possible, so why was it that he could put me in a sort of memorization with his eyes and I would just do whatever he said. Magic is what I would call it. His hand held mine as I slowly followed him, not really realizing what I was getting myself into. "It's just up these stairs." He assured me, climbing up each step, one at a time.

"Here we are," he whispered, several of the people occupying the room were snoring. He ushered me to a bed in the far corner. He started taking his shoes off as he said, "Well, get in already, you look exhausted."

I might have been tired, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep like this. I was still in my blue silk school uniform, and I felt very self conscious. "Oh get in already, it's not like I had time to do anything to it." He mumbled in my direction, trying not to wake anyone.

Somehow, he got me to get into the bed, where I lay quite uncomfortably, trying not to think of things that had probably happened in this bed so that it was unwanted. Then, Caleb took off his shirt and his slacks. His lightning boxers were showing with his muscular legs bulging in the lamplight. "Like what you see?" He teased.

For some reason, I kept on relating everything to Al. I saw the color of the windows, they weren't the same color, but they were pretty close to the shade of color that Al's eyes are. When I saw Caleb's chest, it was very hairy. I imagined that Al did not have a single hair on his chest. Al wouldn't even be able to grow facial hair if he wanted. Also, Caleb's legs were very muscular, almost too muscular. Al's legs were like chicken legs and they had blonde hairs so that the hairs were not so noticeable.

As I was comparing the two, Caleb did something almost unthinkable. He came under the covers and into the bed with me. He must have seen the horror stricken look on my face, because he said, "Did I forget to mention? Oh, this is normally my bed, so I thought that we would just share it."

Trying not to vomit, I turned away from him and his hairy, hairy chest. I would rather have picked up each and every one of Al's dirty socks off of his floor than be this close to any other man. Why was I being so nice? He is a boy! A teenage, hormonal boy who climbed into bed with me! I wanted nothing than to scream while running out of the palace, and running all the way to Scotland to be with Al.

Caleb got so close to me that I could feel his chest hairs on my back through my shirt and they were poking me. I was almost certain that it wasn't the only thing that was going to be poking me. He put his left arm around me and pushed me even more into him. Our bodies were parallel, and I wanted nothing more than to get a toss bin and throw up.

Twenty minutes later, I heard Caleb snoring loudly in my ear.

Tears slowly eased from my eyes. Was this truly worth staying? Just to get away from my mum? Was this all worth being away from Al? Was all of my love being recognized? I tried to wipe the tears away but they were coming so fast that I could not stop them. Beauxbatons was a horrible place, filled with horrible people. Sure Hogwarts wasn't perfect, but at least I wasn't spooning with a hairy boy at Hogwarts. I had my own bed, I had my own friends, I had Al…

I watched the sun rise again and I slowly closed my eyes.

_"What could fucking be worse than this?"_

_o0o0o0o0o0o0o_

_Unfortunately, it can get worse... and it does. :P  
__Caleb Matthews... with yellow eyes... sound familiar?  
But hey, I got a chapter out! On the fourth of July! And guess what, if I get 2 or more reviews and over 150 hits, I will have 400 reviews and 20,000 hits for this story! Eeeeeek! I never thought that I would get past 15 reviews! Thank you, thank you, thank you so much to everyone who has ever, reviewed, favorited, put my story on alert, or even just looked at my story and didn't like it. Thank you for just looking, and as a treat, I will be releasing information about the sequel ;) But the starting point has already been placed and is up on my profile so you can go check that poll out! But be looking for that :D  
I'm sorry it took me a week to get a chapter out, in the summer. This is absolutely terrible on my part and I apologize. I also am sorry that you had to put up with Lily, this was the majority of the reason in which I have been putting this particular chapter off ;) I also apologize for the vulgar-ness in this chapter. "I was almost certain that it wasn't the only thing that was going to be poking me." :P  
Who has seen the whole "Harry Potter, The Musical" (which is going to be renamed) Because I was lucky to see the whole thing and I thought it was amazing, what was your take on it?  
11 MORE DAYS UNTIL HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE!!!!! :D I've been counting down for over 500 days for this movie, give it to me now!  
Thank you so much for getting this story where it is now, and I hope to continue to excite you and to keep you on the edge of your seat!_


	56. A Fairy Godcousin

_AN: It is weird to see me talking in the begining of my story isn't it? Or is it just me? Well this is the third "chapter" that I posted "today" so I hope you like it. The last chapter reached all three of its goals that I had previously set and for that, I will be posting the older sequel preview on my profile and on this chapter, and for the people who reviewed the last chapter and this next chapter, they will get the new sequel preview! :D I haven't replied to anyone's reviews yet. I'm sorry, I was, "busy." Anyways, thank you guys again for putting my story where it is and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Peticular canon people, you might have a problem with the end-ish part of this chapter, but oh wells._

_[Old Sequel Preview: A ringing noise resided into my brain, as I realized that it was not just my ears deceiving me, it was the doorbell. I got up groggily and dragged my feet all the way to the door, hoping that this noise would not wake the whole house up. I opened the door to find a woman standing in front of me, she was crying and it seemed she had been for several hours. She had dried blood above her lip and all around her nose. Her whole body shook in fear, her lips trembling as she stood on my doorstep. My eyes widened as she told me what had happened. Her husband had been drinking excessively, and he had come into their home thinking that she had been an old enemy. He had apologized with every breath he had until she slammed the front door in his face and walked out. I hadn't noticed till I ushered her in that she had a suitcase and a little follower holding her right hand. The little blonde girl looked almost as though she were having a seizure because she shook so much. She had a little blue bow on the most top spot of her head. Never once had this little girl talked to me, or even smiled in my direction. She too had been crying, she still was, but she just hid in her mother's skirt… to hide from the shame she felt that she would bring if she showed her emotion.]_

_Onto the chapter!!!!_

o0o0o0o0o0o

Looking at the Gryffindor table, I saw Albus reading a letter. Mary was sitting beside me when she asked, "What do you think he's got there?"

"Definitely not a letter from his mum, I can tell you that." I told her with a grin.

"Well then Mr. Smarty Pants Moon, you think of someone who would be writing to him." Mary said playfully, not really interested in whom Albus Potter was talking to.

"I bet its Addie, if anyone, she'd be writing to him. I hear that at Beauxbatons' they have coed bedrooms! Wouldn't that be something?" Mary smiled less, but then her smile picked back up again. "I wouldn't want you to see me in the morning."

I looked back towards Albus, and he was squinting at the paper, trying to read it, holding it very close to his face. "Maybe he needs new glasses," Mary suggested.

Albus tapped the paper with his wand and something happened to it. He now could read it and with every word that he seemed to read, his eyes grew wider. His fist was now tightly clenched around his fork that we thought that it would surely break.

"Don't you feel a bit like we're stalking him? Because we keep on continuing to stare at him when he's obviously reading something quite private…" All of the sudden, Al got up and shoved the letter into his bag that he had thrown over his shoulder. He left the great hall in a hurry.

"I wonder what that was all about…" Mary told me quietly, looking at the doors that Al had just ran out of.

"Maybe it was about Lily," I suggested, my heart beating faster.

o0o0o0 The day before 0o0o0o

I woke up to the whispers and the feeling of several eyes on me. Rubbing my eyes, I searched for my glasses, which had been set on the counter to my right. Thankfully, I didn't feel any hair on me, which meant that Caleb had left the bed. When I put my glasses on, I saw several people around the bed and they were all staring at me. Most of them were boys, but there were a few girls whom I had noticed from talking behind my back. My covers were up to my chin. The girls were taking pictures of me, "Smile pretty new girl, well, if you know how!" Most of the girls sniggered and I pushed the blankets over my face and I looked down. I had only the lower half of my knickers on. Oh dear Merlin. How did I get this way? How long have those people been there? Who has my robes now? And why in Merlin's pants does it always have to be me?!

I thanked Merlin that this sheet was thick enough, and I also thanked him for the fact that I hadn't moved the covers all night. I heard their muffled laughing as I pulled the sheet even tighter down on my ears. This couldn't be happening to me… I want to go home. If Al knew what was going on, he'd be furious. He'd be BEYOND furious.

"Oh come on out new girl, pretty please? We'd love to see _more_ of you." One of the boys taunted. Then, I felt a sharp tug on the blanket, but I kept my firm grip on the sheet.

"Don't be shy, come out, come out and play!" One of the boys taunted.

I felt the tears sliding down my face. Why had they all been so mean to me? Was this punishment for leaving Hogwarts? Was someone trying to punish me for leaving Al and disobeying my mother in her time of need?! Because, they got me good, and I give up.

"Wait until the whole school sees these pictures, maybe we'll even send them to the Daily Prophet!" Sneered one of the girls.

Then to my horror, I realized something… My wand was in my pocket of my robes…

Caleb's voice came louder than the others, "Come on out, I've already seen all of it."

I tried to wipe away my tears but they just kept on flowing down my face.

They tugged on the blankets once more, but they had no luck. I poked my head out and put my arms out as well. Slyly, I wrapped the blanket around me and I got on my feet. The floor was icy cold to my feet as I looked at Caleb with hate. "Oh come on babe, it's all for fun."

A boy with brown hair held up my blue bra with pride and said, "Hey Shelby, I don't even think that you could even fit into this one!"

I tried to snatch it from him, but he started to run. I had to run after him, I had other clothes, but that was personal. Holding onto the sheets for dear life, I ran after him. He wasn't very fast, so I had no troubles with knocking him to the ground. I grabbed it from him and saw Caleb and other people coming closer to me.

Putting my bra behind my back, I stared at Caleb, who had my clothes and my wand in his hand. "That was pretty impressive, I must admit. Even for a girl. But until you give us a show, I'm not giving you your clothes, or your wand back… Unless you want us to forcefully move that blanket." He motioned to his wand in his hand.

Within my own self, I found new rage, and for the fact that I couldn't control anything in this situation, I did what I could do… cry.

Caleb and the others started laughing, but hidden behind Caleb's eyes were concern. "Does the little new girl want her mommy and daddy? Oh wait, that's right, she doesn't have a daddy anymore…"

I started sobbing even harder, knowing that this could not possibly get any worse than this. "How weak she must be, she looks like a train hit her face and then gave her glasses to match."

"Leave her alone," A courageous boy came up from out of nowhere and had his wand out. "What the bloody hell did she ever do to you?!"

"Stay out of this, fairy boy!" Caleb sneered, pointing his wand towards the boy now.

"You've just made this my business, Matthews." He courageously went up to Caleb and snatched my clothes away from his grasp, "Don't you think you should grow up soon? Because I'm getting a little tired of your games, and I'm pretty sure everyone else is too."

With those words ringing through everyone's ears, he turned his foot and started walking towards me. He put his hand on my back and started carefully pushing me out of the room, down the stairs, and into a closed room. He handed me my clothes and asked, "Are you alright?"

Simply, I nodded, and looked at him with such gratitude. I just now noticed his strawberry blonde hair, it felt like I had known him from somewhere, but I knew that I had never seen his face before. "Would you like me to turn around so that you can change? I promise I won't look at you." I shrugged and took my clothes.

I hurriedly put on my clothes as he tried to spark up a discussion, while facing the opposite wall. "You don't live around here do you? Are you even French?"

When I didn't reply, he said, "You don't talk much, do you?"

"I'm not very good at making first impressions. I try not to talk as much as possible so that I won't make a complete fool of myself." I explained, remembering the first time I had met Lily and her family.

"I will never forget how we met, I can tell you that." He said, with a small laugh, I stayed silent.

When I was done, I turned towards him and he turned towards me, "Thank you for saving me back there… I really don't know what made them do that."

"It was the least I could do… Someone had to stand up for you. Next time, don't let them get to you," He smiled and wiped a stray tear that had been running down my face. He looked very handsome, but he did not seem my type of boy. Al had nothing to worry about. He had pure blue eyes, and a fantastic smile that was wide and happy. Extending his hand to me, he said, "My name is Louis Weasley."

"You're a Weasley?" I asked, feeling as if I was gawking over him. "You're related to Lily, Al, James, Hugo, Rose-"

He started to laugh, "Yeah, don't try to name them all though, you'll lose track and then you miss one and then you can't figure out who you missed and then you feel terrible about forgetting them. It happens all the time. But yeah, they're my cousins. How do you know them?"

"I was in Ravenclaw with Lily, and Al and I… we were friends at Hogwarts." He raised an eyebrow at me, and smiled even more.

"Oh, so you're Addie Abraham! Lily had told me about you a few Christmases ago, and Al just can't stop talking about you." He smiled and we talked about their family for the longest time. Al was the person whom I liked talking about the most, Louis knew old family stories of him of when he was a baby and I was fascinated with little Albus.

"So are you going to tell him about what happened today?" Louis asked, looking over at me with curiosity.

"I haven't even told him about people making fun of me. I don't think he would be pleased in hearing this…" I mumbled, looking ashamed at my feet.

"Personally, I think that you should tell him. If you care about him as much as I think that you do, then you need to tell him about this." I hated it when other people were right.

We gave each other a hug and went back to our designated rooms; I found a note in my room.

_Addie,  
__I feel absolutely terrible for pulling that prank on you. I did not think that the other guys would take it so far. I'm really sorry and I want to make it up to you. Maybe a date will fix that?  
__Caleb Matthews_

He was absolutely incorrigible, and not in the sweet way either. I took out parchment and as I started writing, the tears started to come back to me… On accident, my tears accidentally smudged the parchment and ruined the ink. I sent the letter anyways with Tweety and she was on her way towards Al, who was undoubtedly, going to be furious.

**_Please Review! :)_**


	57. A wake up call, a note, and a nightmare

**_Please Review!_**

I was absolutely convinced that I was now the size of two pregnant whales that were overdue. I was now "average" weight, but I think that society was setting the standards of girls too low. If anything, I would have thought that my weight was average, but there was a 37 pound difference!

Walking in my room, was a lady wearing all black and she had a handkerchief in her hand, which occasionally dabbed her eyes. My mum followed her in and told me, "Lily, this is Mrs. Macmillian; she asked if she could have a talk with you."

Convinced that my mum was leaving me with an insane asylum escapee, I looked at her horrified as she left the room, leaving me with a complete stranger who might murder me.

"Hello Lily," She said in soft voice, grabbing my desk chair and setting it by my bedside and sitting on it. "My real name is Cathy, and you can call me by that if you'd like, but that wasn't what I was here to talk to you about, was I?" Her expressions looked like she had just come from a funeral. I hadn't heard any outside information and the only person who ever sent me an owl anymore was Tyler, had someone died? "I am here to talk about you and your baby… your mother told me that you haven't particularly liked the way that you've been looking?"

I must have been talking in my sleep again… damn it.

"Not really…" I mumbled, still wondering why my parents thought it was fitting to invite a complete stranger into our house.

"Well, I was just wondering yesterday, why you felt this way. You are going to be blessed with a little baby and all you are caring about is your physical appearance? Isn't it all about the health of the baby?" I could easily lie to this lady that I have never met before, and say, yes, that's all I'm thinking about, but for some reason, I tried to argue.

"No offense, Mrs.…"

"Macmillian, dear" She supplied, for my forgetful brain.

"But I don't really understand why you are here talking to me about my baby. I don't really see how this is any of your business." I tried to continue on but she just looked at me with saddened eyes and shook her head slowly.

"My husband, Ernie, is cousins with Alex's dad." She explained, but I still was not interested in what she had to say. Was she going to beam like my mom did when she saw my rolls of fat on my stomach? "What I was here to talk to you about, is your appreciation."

"For your input?" I questioned, not liking this girl one bit, but she only smiled at me.

"No… no. I just want you to realize how lucky you are to have the option to keep your child. In most cases, a baby would have died by now… in your special case, since the baby is growing faster and your frame is so small, labor might be harder on you and the baby…"

"I really don't understand why you're telling me that labor is going to hurt, because I already knew that. When you hear the screams, you kind of have common sense that it will hurt." She did not give me a stern look, but only sighed.

"Your baby is very fortunate, I feel so anyways, to be living. It is lucky to have life and to be able to come into this world. I do not understand why you do not feel the same way that I do. Most babies would have died by now." I knew that the birthrate for these kinds of babies was very low, but why was this woman reminding me that my baby should be dead now?

"I'm sorry, but I still don't see a reason as to why you are here." I tried getting her to leave, but apparently she was not getting my hints.

With a big breath in, she revealed to me, "I just recently lost my fourth child to a miscarriage… My husband and I have yet to see our child to their third birthday." My body sunk into my bed even more as the reality of life crashed upon me. This woman had tried to have a baby so hard, and she couldn't get one… and I was forced upon a baby and I was only complaining on how whale like I was. "I was thinking that you and your baby were very lucky to have each other, and a very loving family."

In my stomach, I felt a very large pang. I was trying to scramble for words as she sat in my desk chair. How were you supposed to react to this sort of thing? "I'm very sorry for your losses."

"It's quite alright; you couldn't have changed my fate. I suppose that I am not fit to be a mother. But, I want you to promise me something Lily." Her face was now very serious, and I knew whatever it was, I could not say no.

"Alright, what is it?" I asked cautiously.

"Love your baby as much as you possibly can. I know I might not change your mind by just coming and talking to you, but I feel very strongly about this. Do not take your little child for granted… because even they can be gone in an instant." She dabbed her eyes once more and looked at me with her saddened eyes.

"I promise I will love her… or him, no matter what happens." Mrs. Macmillian knew that I was being sincere, and that was all that I needed to know that I was. Other people might have said that I was faking it, but now more than ever, I realized what a blessing I had.

The little and big things in life mattered… no matter how small they seemed.

o0o0o0o0o0o

New tears fell onto the paper as I sat in the lonely broom cupboard with nothing but a dim light and a very unhappy, caged owl.

"_Dear Al,_

_I haven't been fully honest to you about my new school. It's absolutely dreadful here. I sleep on the floor with one blanket, my room is smaller than a closet, my clothes got stolen last night as I was asleep, and they have the most horrible people here. This one boy, he invited me to sleep up in an empty bed, but then, it happened to be his bed! He took off his shirt and I completely panicked, I couldn't just leave… that's when it all turned sour. The next thing I know, several people are surrounding me and some with cameras. They took all of my clothes besides my bottom knickers and they mocked me. I don't know if I can stand it much longer here. I wish I could go back to Hogwarts, but I know that my mum would just drag me right out of there. An American school is completely out of the question because I don't want to go to a whole new continent alone. Magical education has never been so unimportant to me. I miss you terribly Al, but I really don't have much of a choice but to stay here. Beauxbatons has become a little more bearable now that I've found Louis. I'm sorry for lying to you… and keeping a safe distance. I'm trying to figure out if it is best for me to stay here or not. My brain says that I need the education for a job, but my heart is telling me otherwise. Everything I see reminds me of you, of the way that I used to live, how my life was before… I keep on trying to not remember those times, but for some reason they keep on reappearing in my mind. You're not far from my mind, yet you are so physically far away… But this is all okay… because you're right in my heart._

_Forever and for always._

_With all the love that Tweety can carry,_

_Addie"_

Why she hadn't just come home was completely dumbfounding to me. I wanted to know why she had even gone to Beauxbatons in the first place. McGonagall would have accepted her back, and she knew that.

I wanted to see her… talk to her… kiss her. How much longer until I would see her again? When could I make my promise a reality? How could I comfort her when we were so far apart? So many questions filled my head as I reread the letter several more times before I fell asleep in the broom cupboard, somehow it felt oddly comforting.

0o0o0o0o0

_The wind howled through my ears, as it also whipped my scarf against my face. How could this have happened? He promised…_

_I had told him to be careful; he was supposed to be careful. But do you think that Albus Potter would really be careful? No, of course not. As a way of being "safe" he goes off and joins the Aurors and goes on secret missions. "You promised me, you promised me that you'd try to be safe." I mumbled, dabbing my eyes with a handkerchief, "You promised me. Did my words mean nothing to you?!"_

_It was very hard to argue with someone who couldn't respond. "How could you Al? How could you?" I knew he could hear me… I felt his hand lightly touching my shoulder. His warm, comforting hand gently resting on my shoulder as I cried for him. "Why couldn't you have been more careful? Was it too much to ask?" I wondered aloud. My fingers were numb, my mouth was dry, and my voice was hoarse. "You were the only one to tell me that you loved me… not even my family had taken up that much courage… In case you've forgotten, I love you too. I could never love someone more than I've loved you. I don't think I ever will…"_

_My fingers slowly slid on the marble tombstone, "I didn't want it to happen like this… I didn't want it like this. I never wanted this. I wanted to go first."_

_Tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at the flowers placed just in front of the marble. Written on the stone, in engraved writing, it stated, "He will always be with us, in our hearts." No other statement was truer than that one. _

As quickly as lightning could strike, I sat up, my voice feeling as hoarse as it did in my nightmare. I sat in a cold sweat that drenched my body. Tears were in my eyes and my pillow was soaked to its very core. "It was only a dream," I tried to remind myself, "It was only a terrible, terrible dream…"

I sunk my head back into my pillow and lay awake for the rest of the night. I held onto Al's jacket tighter, reminding myself that, after all, it was "just a dream…"

_Yuck, it took me over 2 weeks to get this stupid chapter out. You must be sorrily disappointed and want a refund.  
Anyways...  
One of my favorite parts of this chapter is Lily becomes less whiny and she finally sees some light! Also, another part of the chatpter is the end of Al's section. "I reread the letter several more times before I fell asleep in the broom cupboard, somehow it felt oddly comforting." Ha ha, cupboard jokes.  
Here comes the excuses: Our community theatre is doing "South Pacific" and I am doing that and it's very time consuming. I was there from 4-11 pretty rediculous hours, I know, but that's how dedicated I am ;) Or then again it's just because I have to suck up to that teacher... Either or.  
Anywho, please review, it's been a while since I got to review reply :D_


	58. Twinkle Toes saves the day

**_Please Review! :D_**

The more that Matthew Perks seemed irritable, the more Tyler was frustrated, the more I'd get mad at the both of them. There were only three days left of my Hogwarts fifth year, and I wanted to make it special, and I wasn't about to have them ruin it. Tyler finally plucked up enough courage to ask me out, and it was in one of the cutest ways.

"_Ummm… So, uh… How is the pudding?" Tyler asked nervously, as I put my spoon into my bowl._

"_My pudding tastes a whole lot like soup," I replied back with a smile._

_He was so cute when he was nervous, and you could tell that he was trying really hard to ask me out. Scratching his head, he told me, "You know… I've got a house."_

"_I assumed you had a house," I said, smiling up at him._

_He stumbled on the next few words, and I couldn't really understand what he was saying. "What?"_

"_I was wondering, if maybe, you wanted to come see my house some time… My mom's been bugging me to find a girl so that she can meet her and make cookies and all that. I don't really understand her logic, but…"_

"_Of course I'll come." I smiled, happy to know that we were moving forward in our relationship. Now, I had to figure out what I was going to wear…_

o0o0o0o0o0o

"One date, that's all I'm asking…" Caleb suggested.

"No." My voice was as flat as Lily's chest in first year.

He seemed to become tenser as I would keep on shooting him down. "I'm not going to stop until you say yes."

"You're wasting your time and breath." I kept on walking down the hall; he stepped right in front of me and gave me an awkward hug.

"You are worth it." Caleb had the worst ways of showing his emotions, especially in public. This hug was not a nice hug; he had his arms wrapped around me tightly and my arms hung at my sides.

"Really?" I asked, my voice not sounding harsh enough for me, "Because when you stripped me of my clothes and embarrassed me in front of the whole school by calling me a… you know what, it seemed as though I wasn't worth a minute of your time."

"You're still going on about that? Listen, it was a slip of the tongue-" I quickly got out of his grasp and slapped him as hard as I possibly could.

He reacted as though I knew he would, he crumbled down like a little girl. "Calling me an orphan was not a mistake! How dare you even say a thing like that! My mother isn't dead and you know it!" Everyone in the hall stopped to stare at me yell at Caleb as he sat on the floor. "You complete arse! I know what you are; don't even try to fool me! Stay away from me and you won't have a very upset man on your hands."

Even in the most dangerous of situations, Caleb decides to be a dumbass. "Are you talking about Albus Potter? The one that you always write to? _I don't know if I can stand it much longer here. I wish I could go back to Hogwarts, but I know that my mum would just drag me right out of there-_" With a wand against his forehead he finally had the common sense to shut the hell up.

"You've read my letters? My personal letters?" My teeth gritted with hatred, there was no one who I hated more in this world than Caleb… well maybe Alex, but Caleb was a close second. "You can't just go through someone's letters and expect them to be okay with it!" I bellowed, not knowing what was coming over me. "And for the last fucking time, no, I will not go out with you. No, I will not go on a pity date. No, I won't be your friend with benefits. And NO I will never accept your offer to stay over at your house! Not even if I end up homeless!" Rage filled my body enough to have sparks fling from my wand and singe his hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes.

My chest heaved up and down as I stared at him, and everyone in the hall stared at me. He looked up at me, and smiled. "I like when you get upset, your breasts look amazing by the way."

I stopped in my skin. I should have pounded him to the ground, and I would have too, but instead I sneered at him. "They aren't amazing, they're smooth."

"Is that the way Potter described them? Figures, he couldn't come up with a better description, he only has air in his head so that he can fly better-"

That was it. I had been putting up with this for too long; I turned around as he got up, and punched him as hard as I could. He fell back down to the ground as all of the students watched, I almost lunged at him but I felt a force pulling me back. "Let me go, I didn't get him good yet!" I hollered, but I found someone's bum in my face. They had a nice bum, but not very nice.

Turning to look at their hair, I saw strawberry blonde, Louis. "Let me down! If anything, you want to get him too!"

"Twinkle toes, bring her back, I like it when she's feisty!" Caleb laughed, but Louis did not turn around. "Oh come on you _half_ _breed_!" I felt all of the muscles in Louis tense, he had stopped walking. I stopped kicking for a second and looked at those yellow eyes. He had said it…

To my surprise, Louis kept on walking, silently. He dropped me off at my next class without a word, he looked furious and left in a huff. I felt terrible for Louis, but I didn't know what to say to him. Caleb had deserved that punch, and much more, for talking about Al like that… For reading my letters… For being a jerk… And I wouldn't sleep with him ever in my life, I swear.

o0o0o0o0o

Several days previous

0o0o0o0o0

"_Lets make this interesting boys, let's get Caleb to do something." Offered Ceil, who looked over at me, giving me an evil grin._

"_I don't think we have to, you are the ones wanting to do these bets. Not me." I put my hands up but the boys were not having it._

_Oliver looked over at me and said, "Well I know who you want more than anyone."_

"_Who?" I questioned, knowing that I had not brought up any girl in front of them._

"_The new girl," Oliver said with a twisted smile, "but she won't have anything to do with you. I say you go up to her and talk to her. Better yet, I'll make a bet with you. If you can transform her into a hot chick and bang her, I will pay you one hundred galleons." Their banks were full but our minds were empty._

"_Any other rules?"I asked, not believing that I was even attempting it._

"_If you don't, you'll have to drink eight pounds of firewhiskey without vomiting, or getting caught." Oliver sneered._

_How hard could it be? To get a girl to fall in love with me?_

"_Pretty soon, you will be out of a hundred galleons." I told him, shaking his hand._

"_Make an Unbreakable Vow," Oliver said, very serious, "So that you will do it."_

"_Fine."_

It was hard to keep my unbreakable vow as she got angrier and angrier with me. Somehow I had to make her more beautiful than she already was, and in Oliver's words, "bang her." This was not going to be the easiest thing I had to do in my life.

_An unbreakable vow, ooooooo.  
I didn't post yesterday, I wanted to yesterday because it was my birthday but I got kinda busy. Also I share a birthday with Ginny Weasley (the character) and Will Friedel who played Eric/Plays with Squirrels on Boy Meets World. :D  
Anyways, back to the chapter. I would like to hear some theories :) And do you think he will break his unbreakable vow or not?  
I'm sorry this chapter was short, but it needed to be put out! Three weeks and one day is more than enough of a wait! I hope you thought it was worth it. I'm only going so slow because I'm stuck on what to have Al do for his final prank at Hogwarts. I'm not a good creative mind in that way, so suggestions would be lovely! In one of the next few chapters, I'm going to have some foreshadowing :) be ready for that. I finally figured out where I am going to stop this story but I need to speed up the times, which means I need to get the prank out of the way so that I can finally get on from this story. *sigh* I don't want this story to be a year long story, but it's getting there, September 21st, which is actually my current boyfriend's birthday :) so it may be hard to post a chapter on that day.  
Anyways, thanks so much for reading and review please but don't forget everything in the chapter :)_


	59. Threats

**_Please Review :)_**

"_Come here" A violent man ordered, in his most unloving ways._

"_N-no," Addie shook violently, fresh tears ready to burst from her eyes. "N-No."_

"_I was looking over our mail, and I found a peculiar letter… from a friend of yours." Her dark blue eyes did not lose connection with his yellow eyes. "Lillian Potter."_

_Addie seemed puzzled; she hadn't been seen by anyone since the trial. "Oh?" Her body trembled more as she looked at the neat handwriting on the letter._

"_She's going to be married, and she wants you to be her maid of honor." The man didn't take his eyes off of Addie but paced around her in a circle. "Really? Is that so? Well, I'll have to reply to her-"_

_Within an instant, the man's face fell and he had pushed Addie up against the nearest wall. He held her arms above her head and snarled, "You think I would just, allow you to go to that wedding? Being around all of those people? To tell them all about me?! I don't think so!"_

"_I wouldn't! I swear, I just want one day out, that's all… It's my best friend's wedding." The yellow eyed man grabbed onto her throat and hoisted her up another two feet, so her legs dangled in mid air._

"_You just want to screw Albus Potter! That's all you think about! You won't sleep with me because of him!" _

_His strong hands clenched tighter onto Addie's neck and she let out a feeble peep. "I love him."_

"_You don't know love." He hissed furiously, pressing tighter onto her neck._

"_I may have only been told it fewer times than I can count on my left hand, but I know what love is." Addie's eyelids were slowly shutting, opening halfway, then shutting…_

"ADDIE!" _her face was turning a light purple and I tried to pry his hands off of her neck, but my actions did nothing. I was just imaginary… like they had been, right?_

_She tapped the wall twice before her whole body went limp. His grip loosened and she slowly slid down the side of the wall. "_ADDIE!"_ It was no use, she couldn't hear me… she was dying…_

"_Pathetic Potter also said that her brother sends you his love," The man spat and kicked Addie once… twice… and then a third time._

"Potter!" Professor Longbottom stood at my bedside, in his night pajamas. All of the boys were awake, and I stared at Neville as he held a candle to my face. I felt sweaty; my whole body was covered in a thin layer of water. "You're coming with me."

My first thought, Lily was in trouble. I sat up in bed, "what's wrong professor?"

He grabbed onto my shoulder, and hoisted me out of bed. Apparently, he had woken up every single Gryffindor, because they had all been standing by their doors or in the common room. Rose and Hugo sat on the couch and they stared at me.

I was escorted out of the Gryffindor tower and I was shoved into Longbottom's office. The strange thing was he locked the door. Teachers hardly ever locked their doors. I saw dad and mum sitting in chairs, giving each other glances. Mum came up to me and gave me a big hug, nearly crushing all of my bones. "What is going on?" I asked.

"That's what we'd like to know," Neville said, looking me straight in the eyes, "we've gotten several complaints that tonight you were screaming in your sleep."

"Oh." I mumbled, looking at my hands.

"Would you like to tell us what you were dreaming?" He asked, not as a question, more as a, tell me now.

"I'd prefer not to share, sir. If you don't mind." My mother was about to speak when Professor Longbottom raised his hand to her.

"In your sleep…" He started slowly, "You were mentioning a girl. Do you know who this could possibly be?"

Swallowing my breath, I knew that he had already known who it was, before anyone had told him. "I have an idea."

Mum was staring at me, she knew that I had more manners than that, she had taught me better. "Care to share?"

Not being able to take her glare anymore, I told him, "Addie Abraham."

"Correct." He sat down in the chair, I felt like a muggle at what some people described as parent teacher conferences. "Now can you tell us what was happening in your dream that woke us all?"

"I would rather not say sir. It was merely a dream; it wasn't like I was… _envisioning_ anything… was I?" I looked towards my parents who had gone silent. I looked towards Neville who was biting his bottom lip.

"We don't know Albus. You have to tell us your dream, so that if it may happen, we can prevent it." He looked only at me, but I looked towards my parents. Mum looked like a mess while dad held her shaking hand, fearing himself.

"Addie was invited to Lily's wedding and she was asked to be her maid of honor…" I looked up at the Professor and I slowly continued on, "And there was a man in the room… Addie seemed older and different than she did the last time I saw her, but she was in a dark room. She looked terrible, like she hadn't slept in weeks and she wasn't as thin as Lily but she was thin… And… the man… he…" I didn't want to finish the rest. I didn't want to ever remember that horrible nightmare. "He wasn't very gentle…" Shaking my head with closed eyes I tried not to remember. "Professor, this couldn't mean anything, could it?"

With fearful eyes, he coughed to clear his throat, "I think it would be wise for you to rest these last few days at Hogwarts… in fact, I think it would be best if you, take the rest of the year off." Standing up in my damp pajamas I started to argue but my mother's comforting hand came to my wrist.

"Professor, it's my seventh year! And I would miss graduation! How am I supposed to graduate without being at Hogwarts?" He exhaled loudly and looked up at me.

"You may come back for your graduation, but all of your exams are finished, no homework will be due, and you are clearly not feeling well-"

"It was one bad dream professor; it wasn't like this was happening now. Besides, I told you Addie didn't look the same! And the man I didn't even know." Mum and dad both shifted nervously in their seats.

"Albus…"

"No!" My voice was at an alarming high, "It isn't happening right now! It won't happen ever! Addie will be fine and when she's done with school she's living with me and we're going to live happily ever after!" I felt all of the adult's eyes on me as I was screaming at the top of my lungs. "She isn't going to die! SHE ISN'T!" Something had come over me, an overwhelming feeling, I started to tear up. My fist met Mr. Longbottom's desk as I turned away from them.

No one understood my emotions… No one understood my love… No one understood me.

0o0o0o0o0

Another nightmare again, that's all it was, just another nightmare about Caleb. Louis and I headed down the corridor when I saw the yellow eyes. Quickly thinking, I threw Louis' arm over my shoulders and put on a fake smile. "What are you-?"

"We're getting even. Now pretend like we're going out for a minute." He looked at me with wide eyes, but then he saw Caleb too. Nodding, we both smiled and walked down the hallway with light feet.

"What have we got here? Weasley and Abraham? Looks like you've got some competition Matthews." Caleb immediately looked over towards us and stopped walking.

I tried to ignore him, but his eyes were so commanding that I couldn't drift my eyes from him. He stopped us and asked, "so you will go out with this fairy but you won't go out with me?!"

"I personally prefer men over childish boys," I told him, pointing my nose up.

"What about Potter?" He brought him up…

"He isn't here, now is he?" A large pang hit my stomach like a meteor shower hitting the earth.

"If your relationship is so real then why don't you kiss him?" Caleb challenged, all of his groupies behind him agreed.

"Uhhhh, we don't like pda." Louis was apparently very new to the lying concept. I looked over towards him and said, "Honey, well we can give them just one kiss."

His eyes widened as he looked at me in shock. Taking my hint, he kissed me lightly on my hand, while Caleb's friends booed. "We want a real kiss!" One of them shouted.

Looking towards Louis, I knew this may ruin our friendship, but I tried to think past that. This would finally get Caleb off of my case; this would finally let me have a wonderful time at Beauxbatons next year. Getting past the worries and effects of my actions I turned towards Louis, and I kissed him. This wasn't a quick peck; it was more of an unnaturally long kiss. No offense to Louis, but I really didn't like how he kissed, too much tongue for me. I had no raw emotions towards him either so it wasn't a very special kiss. When I finally let go of him, I looked into his eyes and he stared at me with a slapped on shocked face.

Ignoring the wolf whistles and hollers, I took Louis' hand and skipped all down the hall, knowing that I would not have Caleb Matthews chasing after me anymore.

o0o0o0o0o

Walking into my room, I looked down at my pathetic room. It wasn't really a room, more of a lousy excuse of a broom cupboard changed into a room. "You didn't fool me for a second." My door closed to reveal Caleb Matthews, whose hand locked my door. "You don't really believe that I am that dumb do you?" His body was coming unnaturally close to mine. With his body, he pushed me into a wall where he ran his hand up my side. "Thinking that you could be interested in Weasley? Oh my pet, you have much, much to learn." His right hand grazing my cheek, and pushing my hair out of my face, "I can teach you," his whispers tingled in my ears, "I can teach you many new things. Things that no one else can." His hand wandered back down my side and his other hand came up. "I can show you what love is," his hot breath was touching my lips, "I can show you a wonderful night."

His yellow eyes stared at my deep blue eyes, "this is, if you behave… If you don't, well… I can make it rough." Deeper into his soul I buried myself, his smile widened, "I love it when you get feisty. And the louder you scream, the harder I get." Finally he pressed his pants up to me and I could feel something that was definitely not his wand. "I'll make you moan," he whispered into my ear, his hand fiddling at the bottom of my shirt, "and I'm not small either."

Ice touched my skin and I shivered, he was touching me… I hated it. "Please, stop." He looked at me and shoved his hand almost reaching my chest. He played with the lace of my bra, tracing it with his fingers, "You keep forgetting who is in charge here, I am." Before he could do anything, he flew back, smashing into the door and breaking right through it.

He had fallen to the ground and he looked up at me through the Caleb shaped hole, my wand on the ground six feet away from me. Scurrying away, he gave me one last look and took off.

Accidental magic happened, right? I didn't think this was considered very… accidental, but I felt disgusted. How could he have treated me that way? Why had he been so forceful? And what were his motives? Why did he only want me?

Several tears escaped my eyes that night, not knowing that my own knight in shining armor was also crying. Many miles away kept us apart, but one thing was certain, we had a very strong… connection.

_In attempts to tire myself, I write a chapter. Good for you, bad for my driver's test tomorrow. Hopefully I don't fall asleep behind the wheel or forget something. Now I'm worrying, great. Anyways! I'm sorry for the lacking on review replies. :P I'm just really lazy and I haven't really had time besides tonight. I have yet to completely write my monologue for my auditions, in less than two weeks. I'm slowly freaking out and I guess I should have worked on that instead of this chapter. Either way, I think it was a good decision and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	60. Nightmares

**_Please Review! :D_**

I was forced out of Hogwarts, kicking and screaming. I only had two more bloody days to go; couldn't I just spend them in a hospital wing? Why was I being treated like a loony? Through the green flame we went and this was my last glimpse of Hogwarts before I would return a few days later. Going up the steps, I was told to hold it. Turning my heel I saw my father walking through the fireplace. "My office, now."

Not testing my father, I came back down the stairs and headed to his office. When I was younger I would spend many hours lying on my dad's office floor watching him work. It was many years later now and I was told to sit in the chair parallel from his. After shutting and locking the door he slowly came over to sit across from me and stare at me for a good eight minutes. Never had I been so aware of my pajamas. "You said you had a dream."

"More of a nightmare really… but can we please not talk about this dad? I don't want to relive it again." Holding up his hand to silence me, with his other hand he pulled out his wand.

"Unfortunately for you, that is exactly what I would like you to do. Instead of telling me, I would like you to show me." Our matching emerald green eyes having a staring contest.

"Are you suggesting that I act out the scene for you? Because I won't do it." My temper had risen, seeing Addie in pain was more than I could ever bear.

"Think of the dream," His temper hadn't risen, but he was calm, and odd calm. "Have you had any others like this? Any nightmares like this?"

Dad had always been dad to me, but now I was seeing what Lily had seen for all of these years. I wanted to tell him to leave his work at work, but I remained silent.

"Albus Severus, there are two ways we can do this, you can be cooperative, or we can go the hard way, you decide." His wand outstretched aiming towards my head. "Think of the worst times in your life, brace yourself."

He gave me no time before flicking his wand and diving into my deepest thoughts. My knuckles were white as I held onto the chair, clutching for dear life, those memories again…

_Footsteps could be heard as they stomped up the stairs, "Nice going, squib." An infuriated mum shouted, "Albus Severus, give your sister a real apology right now." I couldn't look, I knew what was coming, dad followed mum and I, but my seventeen year old self stared at Lily. She looked so hurt, so helpless._

_FLASH_

"_What did you say to me?" James asked incredulously, staring at Lily, who had her hair in her face and her brown eyes stared out at us with fury. Why was dad putting me through this torture?_

"_I said shut up! You and Al always find some way to squeeze in a comment that will bring me down. Yet you don't understand why I hate being a part of this family?"_

_FLASH_

"_Lily, you can't leave me." I stared in horror as I saw myself holding onto my baby sister for dear life. _

_FLASH_

_Lily's scream echoed through Hogwarts._

_My heart stopped, Addie, I saw her… I was holding onto her. I didn't want dad to see this, why was he invading on my life? This wasn't a moment for him to see, I didn't want him here, why couldn't he leave me with myself and Addie? He had no right to be watching this._

_Fresh new tears appeared in my love's eyes. She hid her face in my sweater; I could almost feel her now, holding onto me, in my arms… her sweet smell. As she looked at me, new tears grazed down her cheeks. Her face was so close to mine, our noses almost touching, I could now see that she was on her tip toes and I was leaning. Then, for the first time in a while, I heard her speak to me. "She talked about not being important, she would always blab on about not feeling like anyone but me cared. Then I go and yell at her today and now she feels like everyone is against her and she always threatened to do something drastic but she would never say what it was. She was always saying 'I need to study Astronomy, where is my Astronomy book, why aren't you studying for the Astronomy exam, did you know that someone died up on the Astronomy tower?'" Slowly, my heart was breaking as Addie recalled some of her memories. "She was even talking about how an old professor had died up on the Astronomy tower so many years ago and she seemed so fascinated at how high it was and I never really paid attention to what she was really talking about. Then when I talked to Matt he just ran off and this is all m-my fault because I wouldn't listen! I would always just tell her to tell someone about Alex and she wouldn't listen. I told her that everything would all be better if she just told a teacher that he beats her, but no! She wouldn't have any of it! Then she wouldn't let me into the hospital wing before even if I wanted to! She didn't want my help, and I just watched her, I just sat there and watched her suffer! I didn't do anything and this is all my fault because I was the one to scream at her, I was the one that didn't do anything about Alex, I just watched her lose her mind, I just heard her cry herself to sleep every night and I did nothing about it, and I was the one who just sat there and watched her die!"_

_Burying her face in my chest once more, she cried even harder. We stood there for a while until I saw Addie slowly slipping through my fingers…_

_FLASH_

_A dream I had not so long ago… This had been the first nightmare I had after Addie had left…_

_I was looking at an older version of myself, in a blackened room with someone who looked up to no good. Matthew Perks was to my right and he looked worse than I did. "Give up McGregor, you're the last man standing and you have nowhere to go." My wand did not waver from the man's direction._

"_You are forgetting two very important things Potter, two reasons that make you vulnerable. You see, right now, your wife is tossing and turning in your bed, becoming restless. She is pregnant, am I correct? And she is one that isn't easily woken, am I correct again?" There was only one person that I would marry, and that person is Addie. He was talking about her; he was trying to strike a nerve._

"_Don't talk about my wife like that!" Matthew gave me a side glance, and before I could put my foot down to take a step closer, McGregor threw up his hand._

"_You wouldn't want anything to happen to your precious, or your baby, would you Potter?" I heard my heart stop beating. "Then I suggest handing over what I want or they die."_

"_You will never get your way; we have shields protecting their house!" Matt shouted, but I knew that the man standing before me had his ways, and he could make something that horrible happen._

"_I can prove you wrong, easily I can. Would you like to test me? I could just as easily get your wife." Looking over to Perks, I saw the twinkle in his eye leave. "You better hurry and make your decision Potter, otherwise in seconds, all who you care for and love, die."_

_Not acting quick enough, he decided I would not give him what he wanted, so with a snap of his fingers, he vanished. _

_With terror spreading the room, we both disapparated to the house. Within seconds McGregor had lit my house on fire and he appeared to have left the scene. "Addie!" I heard a side wall collapse. Without a thought or any other care in the world, I ran for it. Straight into the house, I heard Matt yell, "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!" I knocked the door down with my foot, into the flames I went; sparks were flying everywhere I went. With each desperate yell, I inhaled more smoke. Trying to run up the stairs, each step soon fell after I stepped on it. My priority was not to save the house, but to save the only thing worth value in my life. _

"_ADDIE!" I screamed, coughing out smoke. Entering a room I found the amazing woman that I called mine. She was asleep but she was, as McGregor had said, tossing and turning. "Aguamenti!" the water quickly evaporated near the tip of my wand, McGregor had done enchantments, who knows what else he could have done. I took a step closer to Addie when violently; a piece of flaming wood came down…_

_FLASH_

_The nightmare that got me kicked out of Hogwarts for being a mental case finally arrived. I looked away, not being able to see it another time. "I may have only been told it fewer times than I can count on my left hand, but I know what love is."_

_FLASH_

_I watched myself leaning over a tombstone, slowly dying a little inside and out… _

_FLASH_

"_I love you, I love you Al, why can't you say it back to me?" Addie had tears in her eyes and she was shaking me by the collar. "Why can't you tell me you love me?"_

"_Because we're teenagers, we don't know what love is. We're delusional…"_

"_Delusional?! Albus Severus, I am shouting to you that I love you and you're telling me I'm delusional? I may be a teenager, but I know love when I feel it!"Her index finger poked at my chest, her blotchy eyes staring up at me. "Just a few weeks ago you were telling me you loved me with every other breath!"_

"_Lily explained to me that it really wasn't love…" Quickly I was interrupted by a soft speaking voice._

"_Albus Severus Potter, look me straight in the eye and tell me that you do not love me." Her cold hands held onto my cheeks, her eyes were overflowing with tears._

"_I don't truly love you."_

_Her clammy hands shook off of my face and they cupped over her mouth, "You don't mean that, you don't mean it." Vigorously, her head shook, releasing thousands of tears that had been concealed in her eyes. "You love me, you said you did…"_

"_I lie a lot, okay Addie?! Just because I say something, does not mean it's true." For some reason, my voice had grown louder, and angrier._

"_You're under a spell," the poor girl said, not believing my vicious words, "you would never say this Al, never…" she touched my cheek again. With one fluid motion, I took her hand and twisted her arm around, Addie let out a terrible scream. "Stop!" her scream bursting through the ministry walls "STOP!"_

"_How could I ever love a halfblooded, imperfect freak like you?!" _

_Never in my life did I ever want to see that expression again. I never wanted to make Addie feel like that. Addie deserved much better than that. Addie deserved everything that she had never gotten. This was not one of the things that she needed._

_Unlike I expected her to originally do; she did not stomp on my toes. She did not scream the high heavens at me. She just plainly said, "You'll always be in my heart Al. No matter if it stops to beat or if it tears, I will always have you here."_

_FLASH_

_I couldn't take anymore of this, and I knew these dreams would only get worse, not only did I not want dad to see them, but I didn't want to see them either. I tried to close him out of my mind, but I didn't know how to do it._

_We arrived in the same place; on it was a different version of the last dream… This one, was far worse._

"_Al, I love you, I love you to death. I will love you through death, why can't you just say that you love me?" Addie was crying once again, her hands gently placed on my cheeks. _

"_I can't lie to you; I don't really know what love is." I told her, but she shook her head and more tears flew from her precious blue eyes._

"_Love is the way that we look at each other, love is when we kissed, love is the way that we smile when we see one another, love, is what you feel when we're around each other." Her hands shook nervously as she held onto my face, "I know what love is, I feel it, please tell me you feel the same way."_

"_I'm not going to lie to you," taking her hands off of my face and placing them by her sides, while turning away from her, "I don't really know what love is, I have never felt it."_

_For a few minutes, the room went cold; neither of us moved or made a sound, until she spoke quietly, "I think you're wrong. I think you don't trust your own feelings. You believe that it's something else just because you don't want to be tied down just yet." Her finger poked my shoulder. "Don't hide away your feelings Albus. It can only lead you to hurt and suffering."_

"_I know exactly how I feel Adeline, and I do not appreciate your tone with me. You think I'm naïve, but look at yourself. You run away from your problems and go to a school where you don't even like it and you aren't being forced to go there." I could see my anger boiling._

"_Since when have you called me Adeline? And you will listen to me," she turned me around so fast that I almost wasn't in time to close my eyes from what I knew was happening next. A loud slap echoed down the hallway, to the elevators and all throughout the ministry. I opened my eyes once again to see Addie horror struck, holding onto her cheek._

_She turned around and started walking away._

"_Go after her you fool! GO AFTER HER!" I shouted to myself, but I just looked away. "DON'T LET HER LEAVE! RUN AFTER HER!"_

_Instead of waiting for my stupid self to not run after her, I went to her. More tears than ever flooded down her face and smudged all of her make-up. With her lips she was whispering something, "follow me, please. Love me with all of your heart… Don't let me go again… please."_

_I never came, instead, she ran into the arms of some other man… the man that had also invaded many of my nightmares. "You were right Caleb, he doesn't want me." She sobbed into his sweater, "it's alright dear, I am here."_

_Flinging myself onto them, I fell right through their embrace and found myself on the floor…_

_FLASH_

"_You don't get it! Addie didn't do that for attention! She did it because she was depressed and she nearly killed herself if she had taken any other potion other than the one she took! Before you go judging people and saying bad things about them, then get your facts straight!" I only looked at the dead plant as my father watched intently as the scene went on._

"_Al, calm down," I heard James say, getting upset with me._

"_Do you even know why Addie was so upset?!" My voice grew louder, "Her father and brother were murdered! Someone came into their house and killed them while her mother and sister were out. Addie was so upset over you not telling her, Matt for beating up Alex, and Alex in general for what he did to you, not to even mention her family problems. Addie has more strength than any of us in this room, she finally cracked once and you are here to put her down even more, well I won't stand for it. Did you know that she ran away from home? No because if you would have been a good friend you would have cared and not just complained about your own pitiful life!" James got up and took a hold of my hands as my whole body shook. "NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU LILY! And just because mum and dad are giving you all this attention, doesn't mean that the rest of us have to put up with you. Addie deserves a much better friend than you've been the past few months."_

"_Addie deserves much more than this and I am not going to stand for it!"_

_FLASH_

_The curtain was shut and just as dad was about to open it, Mrs. Abraham did it for him. She lifted her wand with one fluid motion and I saw Addie's head hit the bedside table with a hard bang. Letting out a scream of pain, she instinctively put her hand to the back of her head. "Mrs. Abraham-" Madam Pomfrey was rushing towards us but Mrs. Abraham cut her off quickly, __"Adeline, we're leaving right now." Her teeth were rubbing against one another as she tried to hold in her anger. Addie got to her feet as quickly as her legs would allow her to. With an evil grin, Mrs. Abraham took Addie close in her arms, "Say goodbye to your little friend, Adeline."_

_I nodded to Addie when a shrill voice rang in my ear, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?_

_My cheeky attitude was hardly ever used, so I thought that it would be a great time to try it out, my mistake. "I'm sorry that you came in to see that, I guess you should have waited a little bit longer so you could have had more of a show." I saw Addie's face drop of all happiness, and Mrs. Abraham gave me a snorted look, "Just like your father you are, and your stupid mother too, always having something terrible to say in a crisis. Always trying to be funny and get a laugh, well, let me tell you Mr. Potter, I did not appreciate your comment or your actions." Mrs. Abraham took Addie, as I now just noticed, roughly by the arm and tugged her down the aisle…_

_Dad and I followed Addie and her mom out of the room. "Adeline Abraham, how dare you embarrass me like that, your father and brother are looking at you from heaven and they are shaking their heads full of shame." Addie had nothing to do with it, if anything she should go back in the room and yell at me. It wasn't Addie's fault. "You will never be seeing that boy again, do you understand me?"_

"_Yes." Addie said feebly, how could she promise such a thing?_

"_You will have no contact with that boy as long as I shall live, and because of your lack of good judgment, I will be arranging a marriage for you." Addie stopped in her tracks and looked furiously at her mother, "No."_

"_What do you mean, No?" She asked shrilly._

"_No I will not stop keeping contact with Al, no I will not have an arranged marriage, and NO I will not end up to be exactly like you! Just because you didn't get your fairytale doesn't mean that you can rip me away from mine." I could tell that what Addie had said stung, but she was right in her own way I guessed. _

"_How dare you disobey your own mother!" Her grip on Addie was now so tight I bet Addie was losing circulation in her right arm._

_Addie was quick to come back with a remark, "How dare you try to control me for the rest of my own life, I'm nearly seventeen already and you can't decide what is right and wrong for me. I can make my own decisions such as who I want to be with and who I do not want to be with!"_

"_Your choice of friends is poor, look at Lillian Potter now, skin and bones and will more than likely need therapy for the rest of her life." I know realized why Addie had run away, but what I didn't understand was why she ran away to Beauxbatons._

"_Lily hates me now anyways so what does it matter? And besides you hate the whole Potter family because it shows you what you couldn't have and what Al's mum got."_

"_Adeline, hold your tongue!"_

"_No."_

_FLASH_

_We had finally come to the last memory; I knew this, because it was by far the worst I could think of._

_The lamplight was dimly lit and it was flickering on and off, Addie and I stood, holding onto each other. She looked up at me and with her out of breath look, she whispered, "I love you too." She had just been thoroughly snogged, and you could tell by her expression. _

_We couldn't stop staring at one another; this was the last time that I saw her… That I felt her in my arms. In her arms was my jacket that fit her nicely, I hope she kept it…_

_Finally, she looked away and raised her wand, causing the Knight Bus to arrive feet away from us. She gave me one last lingering kiss and got on the bus. Why did she leave me? __She looked at me through the window and seemed as though she wanted nothing more than to get out and come to me. "Don't take too long." I told her, and she nodded, the tears were now visible on _

_As the bus slowly started to move, I put my hand up to her window. Her hand matched mine and I kept speed with the bus. He was slowly going up the hill, not going as fast as the bus normally would, but I knew when he picked up speed, there would be no way I could catch up. My hand was so close to hers. Her hand started tapping on the window as she cried even harder. I may have even let out a few tears myself, but I wasn't going to let her see. The rain hid them anyways. The bus slowly picked up speed and when I couldn't keep up any longer I stopped and stared at the bus as it sped away, Addie's face got sadder and sadder as it got smaller and smaller. Letting her go, would be the biggest regret of my life._

_The lamplight flickered off and finally lost its light._

I was covered in sweat and tears while my heart beat so fast that I could hardly breathe. Dad stared at me for the longest time, but I didn't say a word. He had invaded too many of my dreams and worst memories, and he hadn't known when to finally quit. Finally, he had gone too far. Out of rage, I sat there, and refused to speak, any question that he would ask, I would ignore completely.

"Albus, this won't get us anywhere if you refuse to speak to me." Dad said, losing his cool a little bit more.

"You went too far," I told him, "You had no right to see those of me and Addie, you had absolutely _no right!"_ My temper flared and I could feel myself yelling. "Those memories were for Addie and me! Now you've tainted them! How can reminding me constantly of something I don't have get us any closer to finding out why I'm being treated like a loony case?!"

"Albus…"

"No!" I got up, "Addie is gone! Why do I keep on having these horrible dreams where she dies or dreams where things happen to her? Huh? Do you know the answer after seeing those dreams?! No? So you just put me through three hours of hell for nothing!" The doorknob twitched quickly, but then the door was opened with a flash of light.

Mum stood with her wand extended to the door, but I had my back to her, "You pushed me too far! You at least have the woman you love right where you need her, by you. She's always there for you. I don't even know if she'll show up dead in the next day or two! She hates it at Beauxbatons and she's been teased! They stole all of her clothes and for all I know she could have been raped too! What else is she not telling me?! Addie's gone, Lily's having a baby and she's anorexic, James is never bloody around, and you two are acting as though Lily is fine and doesn't have a problem! Also you have been too busy to notice that you both have two sons that both need attention too, we can't just be dropped off the face of the earth!"

"Alright, Albus, your father is done, go upstairs and get some rest, I will be up in a minute with some dreamless sleep." Dad opened up his mouth but mum was not to be crossed right now. "You are done Harry. Now Albus, go upstairs, I'll be up in a minute."

Her hand went to my shoulder and she guided me out of the room.

I ascended up the stairs, seeing that Lily's bedroom light was still on. Walking right past her open bedroom door, I looked in briefly to see her pale complexion staring at me. Her black bangs hung in front of her hazel eyes.

We hadn't been on good terms since I last saw her in the hospital, but I refused to talk to her until she had some sense knocked into her.

In the dark I shuffled into my room, when I tripped over something, hitting my head hard onto the floor. Several noises came as people hurried toward my room, but I grabbed for the object that tripped me… It felt square… and cardboard…

Mum, dad, and Lily shoved themselves into my doorway, turning on the light, they revealed that the box had a note on it. I took it and read what it said.

_Please keep them safe, and thanks for letting me use your bear._

_Love, Addie Abraham_

_I know... it took me 6 weeks and 3 days to update... I'm sorry :P Inexcusable. Exile me, oh wait, then this story would never end! Muahahahaha, they give me too much power ;)  
I am glad to be back! I have had the stress of three teenagers on my hands. :P I feel like I'm three different people some days. Many activities school and everything else so that leaves little time for writing :( But I posted! I was very proud of myself for finally getting this done.  
Can you believe it though, it has been a whole year already? I can't either! A whole year has been dedicated to this story... Gosh. I was supposed to post this that day and be "the 60th chapter on the 1 year" but it was my boyfriend's birthday so I ate cake instead :P Hopefully I will not have a two year!!!! I want to be done before I leave for Germany in December. Maybe that can be my official break from this story. But I doubt this since it took me so long to get this one out... Sigh...  
I made it! In one year I have achieved: 440 reviews, 59 chapters, 162,170 words, and OVER 24,000 hits. Thank you so much to everyone that has read this! I really thank you with the bottom, top, left, and right of my heart! :D  
But something today shocked me, I looked at my stats and I had one reader read 59 chapters of this story today, which means they read this whole story in one day. It took a few of my friends weeks to read this all! One day for this story, I applaud you, person from the US, who read my entire story in one day!  
Okay, I won't be able to sleep because Lily creeps me the fuck out, I'm not even kidding she's like the one girl from a scary movie that I never saw but I saw commercials for years ago.  
Have I ever told you guys that I feel worst for Al out of the characters in my story? I feel like it's been said before... Anyways, I put him through hell and back, but he'll get.... Lucky... soon enough._

_FORESHADOWING, FORESHADOWING, FORESHADOWING MANIA!_

_Okay, that's enough random for one chapter... Bye!_


	61. Reunited at last

**_Please Review, I know I say this every chapter, but I would really like feedback from this particular chapter! Thanks!_**

Rereading the letter would not give me the feeling of Addie in my arms, but to see her slanted scribbles helped just a little bit. I didn't sleep that night; I had grown used to not sleeping at night. Mum was up early to make a filling breakfast, but I didn't eat any of it. I pretended to sleep every time she would walk in the room.

James had been so busy with work that he hadn't had time to come over in the past few weeks to talk to me. As an older brother, maybe he could help me with my pitiful clinging to Addie.

Lily, was still the constant worry of both of my parents, they had soon forgotten after my nightmare that I had even existed. My nightmares continued, but I would take potions to loosen up the extremeness of the dreams. Now Addie only got paper cuts and I was there to kiss and make them better… then something terrible would happen, but I would see her smile. Her smile is all that I needed to get through my day.

Her cardboard box rest under my bed, as it had for the past three weeks. Enclosed in the box were family photos, heirlooms, baby clothes, and some Hogwarts memories. One of the things in the box that I remembered was a little photograph, taken five years ago. Addie had begged me to take a picture with her so that she could prove to her little brother once and for all, she had definitely met me. Whether this was completely true or not, I had no idea. In the picture, I saw me, and as I slowly put my hand around her shoulders, her face blotches red.

Addie had left several things in my possession, all of which I was going to keep safe. No one else would touch it; no one else would even look at it.

Lily and I still were not on good terms, I would bring her things to her room, but I wouldn't be happy about waiting on her hand and foot. She gained weight, yes, but she wasn't my sister. "Albus?" My mother called from downstairs, "It's already 12, you can't pretend to be asleep for much longer."

I could tell that mum knew something was wrong, but she just figured because I was a lost puppy without his puppy love. It wasn't like that; it was more like having half of yourself leaving your body. Half of your heart left on the floor to lie pitifully, and then getting it smashed down repeatedly every day that you think about how she's gone. A little bit like that…

My door opened with a loud clang, mum, with waffle batter still in her hair, she said loud enough for Lily and I to hear, "Albus, you will get up this instant, we are having a family breakfast for once and we have been waiting on you."

Tossing once, I turned to her and replied, "It's not a family breakfast unless James is here."

"If you would have gotten up Al, you would have known that James has been here for the past four hours." She gave me a small smile, as my eyes opened wide. "He told us not to wake you but-"

As soon as I could get out of bed, I ran down the stairs, and into the kitchen. My hair askew, my Chudley Cannons pajamas on, and my glasses weren't yet on my face. Putting them on, I realized that James had not come alone. A woman was under his arm, she looked much too pretty for James, she had dark brown hair that was so silky it looked as though she brushed it a thousand times a day. Her eyes were green and she smiled at me, she seemed familiar. James finally saw me and took his hand off of her, walking over to me, he hugged me and said, "Good to see you little bro. I heard you pulled the biggest prank at Hogwarts."

"Huh?" I asked, clearly confused.

"Everyone at Hogwarts thinks that you were screaming because of a stunt to get out of your last few days. Everyone but the people that saw you of course, they all thought it was hilarious and genius. You'll be talked about for centuries!" He gave me a grin, "I must say, the fact that you didn't even try beat out our pudding idea in fourth year."

"It wasn't a joke." I told him bitterly, "The fact that people will remember me for it is even worse…"

James gave me a look, and then he looked at me again. "Cheer up spud, the family is back together again!" I gave him another look.

"Not quite." Before James could question anything, mum came down with Lily holding onto her arm. She gasped as she looked behind us, "Susan!" The brown haired woman ran towards Lily and gave her a hug. "I knew you would get with my brother, he just needed a little persuading!"

I remembered her now, she had given me several detentions when I was in school, she was a Ravenclaw and one of Lily's mentors for her first few years. Susan laughed at Lily's comment and shrugged it off.

"Everyone sit down please, I don't want Lily on her feet for too long," Mum hurried us all towards the table as she brought up an extra chair for Susan.

There was one person missing, but I didn't care where he was. He had been cross with me ever since that night he saw all of my dreams. He had no reason to be angry with me, I had all the reason to be mad with him. "Hey mum, where's dad?"

"Your father had to work today but he said he would be back for a break by now," She looked nervously at her watch. "But I guess we should start now…"

Mum set out bacon, sausage, three kinds of eggs, bagels, toast, french toast, waffles, pancakes, orange juice, tea, and cereal. "You don't think we can eat all of this Mrs. Potter, do you?"

"I have faith in my boys to put all of this food away, Albus especially needs it," She gave me a weak smile as she set a bagel on my plate and some scrambled eggs. "He hasn't eaten a proper meal in three days."

"I'm not that hungry mum," I told her, but she added bacon onto my plate, "eat. I don't want to hear anymore of this, 'I'm not hungry' act."

My eyes went to Lily's plate, she had one bagel sitting on her plate as she ate at it with her nimbly fingers. I put my hand into the bowl of bacon and put some on her plate, staring at her fragile face. She bit her bottom lip but didn't say anything to me; she just looked down at her plate and stared.

"So mum, guess what I heard." James said impressively, finally being the first to know something.

"What is it dear?" She asked, putting two pancakes onto my plate, and another two onto Lily's.

"Aunt Fleur said that they have a foreign exchange student living at their house. I asked her if she was hot but she hung up the phone." He gave a chuckle as Susan just shook her head.

"Really? What is her name?" Mum got up to get some grapes out of the fridge and passed them around the table. Mum had little to no interest in the topic, if James started talking about bums mum wouldn't even be listening, just staring down mine and Lily's plates.

"I didn't ask," James said, now realizing his mistake. "But she said that she was a good fit for Louis. I asked Bill what he thought about that but he didn't say much. He said that she only really talks to Louis, and Victoire thought that she was really pretty."

Mum saw me fumbling with my eggs, "Albus, eat up. You have a big day today. James, please continue." Normally she would add what the subject was about; this helped me know that she wasn't even paying the slightest bit of attention to James.

"Teddy went over there and thought she looked familiar." James said skeptically, "Do you think she's a long lost cousin or something?"

"I highly doubt that James," Mum finally set some grapes on her plate and grabbed a few sausages. "Did Teddy say who she looked like?"

"Teddy thought she went to Hogwarts, he remembered seeing her once when dropping us off." James stuffed more cereal into his mouth, trying to get in as much home cooked food as he could.

"Did he know what house she was in?" Susan asked, obviously also hearing this for the first time.

"No. He didn't know much about her. But he said when they were at the table; she wouldn't talk unless spoken to." James drank a glass of his orange juice, and then poured more into his cup. "So she must not have been from Gryffindor, and if she was that polite she must be from Hufflepuff."

"Manners can come from any house James." Mum had always told us to be open minded, but I didn't care much to be honest.

"Anyways, she's been sharing a room with Louis, which I thought was weird, Fleur thought that it was the best idea, trying to get him to be more of a ladies man. Bill only agreed because he knew the girl wouldn't do anything. Pour Louis can't get a girl if he wanted to-" The phone rang interrupting James; mum slowly went to the phone and on the last ring she picked up the phone asking quietly, "Hello?"

The second she picked up the phone we knew something had been wrong, "Dominique, slow down, now what happened?"

We all sat in the silence, trying to get a few words that Dominique was saying, but we didn't have any luck. "Alright sweetie, we'll be right there, don't worry. I'll contact Harry at the office when we get to your house."

"Lily, go up to your room, Susan, you can stay with Lily and catch up for a while, the boys and I need to go to Shell Cottage." Mum took no time to waste and grabbed her coat.

"Sure thing Mrs. Potter." Susan said, but Lily finally chimed in, "Why can't I go?"

"For obvious reasons, boys, let's go." We got up and went outside, I apparated to Shell Cottage, Mum and James went to go get dad. I was the first one to get there, to my horror, my cousin came running toward me, "Al! Al!" She had fear in her eyes; she hung onto me, tears streaming down her face. "I tried to stop him! I tried! He wouldn't listen! Now Louis is in there and the other girl is in there with him!" Dominique was never one to cry, but now she was sobbing for all of those years that she had never shed a tear. Sparks now caught on fire and smoke stared coming through the open windows. Dominique let out a scream, "Please, please get him out of there! Please!"

"Who is in the house Mini, who?" before I would go in there, I wanted to know how many people to save.

"It's just Louis, the exchange student, and the savages that are ruining our house!" She squeaked, "Please save him, he's my little brother!"

A high pitched scream came from the house, I felt like I knew this scream…

Mini pushed me towards the house and screamed, "Go!"

I made a sprint to the house and opened the door, spells were whizzing all over the place, flashes of blue, purple, orange, and yellow lit up the room. I saw Louis fighting against a man who had his back turned to me. "Twinkle toes, give up now! There is nothing left for you…"

"Expelliarmus!" I exclaimed, shutting the door behind me. His wand was knocked cleanly out of his hand and he turned to me. His hair appeared black and his eyebrows were bushy. "Petrificus totalus!" He went down with a thump. "Where is she?" I asked, trying to holler over the roar of fire.

"She's up in the bedroom, I'll try to put out the fire, but there are at least two guys up there! I can't fight much longer." Louis said exhaustedly.

"Get out now, Mini is worried about you, you go and I'll get the girl," I yelled as I ran up the stairs to find two already jinxed men. Maybe this girl had a hidden talent. Checking all the bedrooms, I finally came to the last room. This room had smoke coming from under the door, I cautiously put my hand on the door knob, and twisted. The walls were burning with flame that did not grow any higher and did not spread the fire anywhere else.

An eerie calmness was around the room, flames spread around the walls, but the floor was as stony and cold as Diagon Alley in the winter with bare feet.

I could not help but feel the yellow eyes staring at me from a corner of the room. He spoke very quietly, "Albus Potter, we meet at last… I was wondering when you would be arriving." He gave another look at me and chuckled, "And I see in footie pajamas, did I wake you from your nap?"

My wand pointed out directly at his chest, "Surrender now and you won't be hurt"

"I don't think you're in for negotiating, Potter, because I have the one thing, that you can't live without." His yellow smile matched his yellow eyes, his head nodded over to something lying in a pile on the floor.

"Addie?" She had looked completely different, distorted if you will, her eyes stared, but they stared at the blank wall. Her skin looked as pale as the ceiling. Falling to my knees, I went to her, examining her, quietly whispering her name.

"She won't respond," he said coolly, "she only responds to pain."

Addie began to scream loudly, shaking as her eyes stared blankly through me, I cupped her hands in my face, but no matter how much I wanted her to, she would not look at me. Then, she started talking aloud; she kept on repeating my name…

"Addie, can you hear me?" I asked, trying to wake her, but I had no such luck.

"She can't hear you," he told me, watching me intently as I tried to let Addie know I was there. "And in any minute, she won't be able to breathe, unless she agrees to do my favor."

"What does she have to do?" my hand touched her cheek, when I did this, I saw it had become less pale.

"Nothing that you can do for her Potter," he snarled, looking down upon me. "She has been refusing me since the moment I met her, and I will have her. I will have her." He smiled at me and said, "She will be Mrs. Adeline Matthews, she will love me, and there isn't any way she will love me with you around…"

I looked up only to see a flash of colored light and then darkness fell over me, the last thing I felt was Addie's hand squeezing mine…


	62. Scorpius Returns

_**Please Please Review!**_

Lights flickered on and off, I was moving, but I hadn't felt like I was physically moving at all. I tried to find what was underneath me, it was soft and comfy like a bed, but it didn't smell the nicest. I tried opening my eyes, but they refused to open, so I twitched my hand, I could feel someone holding onto my hand… It hadn't felt like Addie's, Addie's hands were much, much colder. I tried to open my eyes again only to see ceiling and a bright light staring me in the face.

"Albus!" My mother cried, it was her hand holding onto mine, she squeezed even tighter as I smiled. It was good to know that I had my family with me, wherever I was.

"Al," dad was on my other side, he sounded like he was winded, but he was merely walking. Much relief sounded in his voice.

I tried to talk, but my voice was too hoarse to, I wanted to know where Addie was. Was she safe, was she… dead.

"No talking honey, you're safe now. You are at St. Mungo's and these healers are going to help you get better, okay?" Mum put both of her hands on mine as she started to release tears from her eyes.

The light had bothered my eyes so much that I needed to close them, my head throbbed like no other and I had shooting pains up and down my body. Had he done this? Is this what Addie felt like?

I woke again to find myself in a rather bland room. Mum was still holding my hand and she was at my side, smiling at me. "Hi sleepy," she said with a weakened smile.

Trying to find my voice, I took a cup of water from the bedside table and asked, "Where is Addie?"

Mum's smile slid off of her face and she held onto my hand even tighter. "Albus," she held the tears bravely in her eyes, "maybe we should talk about this later."

"No, tell me where she is, now" Mum bit her bottom lip and struggled to keep her head up.

"Al… You must realize that before you or I had gotten there, the boy had tortured her for hours… the healers have been trying their best and, well…" She couldn't be dead; I would know if Addie was dead, I would feel it. "She is in critical care and hasn't woken up in the past two days. They believe that she is in a coma."

"Take me to her," but my mother did not smile, she only looked away, "Albus, you can't see her; it is not healthy for you to go and visit her now. You need to rest."

"I've been resting for the past two days; now let me see her-"

"I will not have you thrash your tongue at me Albus Severus," mum snapped, whipping her face to stare at mine, "I am your mother and you are in no condition to see her. First you need to eat and a few people have been begging to talk to you."

"If they aren't Addie I don't want to see them." I grumbled, but as she normally did, mum ignored me when I hushed something under my breath.

Not a few minutes after I had woken up, I was brought a tray full of food, and dad had come to visit from the office.

"You did a heroic thing Al, going into a burning building, but it was a stupid thing." Mum cringed as dad talked about the accident. "What were you thinking of when you ran into that house?"

"I was thinking that I would save someone's life and Dominique was scared, no one else was there, so what else was I supposed to do?" My muscles tightened, "Let them die?"

"That is enough."

Without even listening to mum, dad trudged on, creating less and less alikeness between the two of us. "If someone hadn't come to save you, you and Adeline both would be dead right now." Dad had the arrogance to say that to me, as if I hadn't been good enough.

"… Harry."

Dad seemed to be under a lot of stress, sleep deprivation, and he wasn't dealing with it very well. "You would have died in that attic and you would have never seen us again Albus, was that what you wanted? Did you go into that building and not use any magic to die just like you knew that the fate of your crush would be the same?"

"I went into save someone who at the time, I had no idea who they were! I didn't think to even use magic, and no, I would not pull a Lily and try to commit suicide!" Dad stared at me for the longest time, mum was shocked speechless, but as he stared at me, he saw the frustration in my eyes. "I knew someone was being hurt, I wasn't going to sit there and do nothing as I hear the screams and the cries for help… She needed me, and that's all there is." He had known how much I care for Addie, but he refused to remember it. It isn't a crush; it is intense, fiery, burning love.

Several minutes passed, I rather enjoyed the quiet. The only one of us that was brave enough to speak was mum, "... Albus… Will you excuse your father and I for a bit, we need to talk." She got up, taking dad's arm in hers and they walked out the door.

Taking my time to get out of bed, I felt my lungs tighten and it was harder to breathe as I stood. Walking slower than I normally had, I felt the more need to rush, creating more breathing problems. Slowly opening my door, I looked from side to side, neither mum nor dad were in sight. Closing the door behind me, I walked as fast as I could, looking down the hallway and into rooms. Addie was nowhere to be found, I hiked up the stairs, maybe it would get me closer. There was one door shut on the whole floor; it had been the only shut door I've seen. Across from the door was a person. This person had their head buried in their coat and their hood covered their face and hair, so you could not recognize them by their appearance. I then noticed the shoes, they were faded, and pink while the right shoe lace was untied.

I had heard those quiet sobs once before, I went to her and lifted her face gently, and with the red blotches on her face she quivered, "T-thank you, t-t-thank you s-so much for saving her."

"I would do it any day of the week, but if she is fine, then why are you crying?" Becca's face turned even greener as I spoke.

It took her a while to respond but she said, "If she chooses what I think she will; I won't see Addie for a while…" Her voice trailed off as well as her eyes had.

Becca and I talked for what seemed like minutes, but turned into hours, about her sister and their childhood. Addie and Becca had an almost seven year age gap, but apparently this didn't matter to them. The way that Becca told it, you would have believed that Addie was the greatest sister in the world.

"But that's all over now… isn't it?" She said quietly, "If she decides to continue to be with you, mum will throw her out…"

"That's ridiculous," I stood up and went to the door, trying to figure out what I was going to say first. But before I could, I heard someone yelling, I could remember this yell as Mrs. Abraham's, then another yell was heard, but it wasn't the voice I had hoped to hear. Suddenly, the door opened quick enough to smash my face, and knock me to the ground.

Before I could get back to my feet, Mrs. Abraham stomped on my hand. "Becca, lets go, now."

Becca's hand was yanked upward and the pair left immediately, but Becca would not leave without voicing her opinion. "ADDIE!" She kept on screaming, but I supposed Addie could not hear her.

Once they had left, I looked at the doorknob; it now seemed very hard to reach. I got to my feet, and without a sound I opened the door. Addie was lying on her bed, eyes closed.

Her once vibrant hair was now a dulled yellow, on her body she had cuts and bruises, and her lively presence that previously filled the room was now clearly absent. I walked in silence, just looking at her pale complexion.

I stood at her side, quietly pulling up a chair next to her bed. Taking her hand, I felt the like deadness in her skin, the ice that replaced her warm embrace. "I'm here now love, I'm here."

There was a quiet knock on the door; if I hadn't been listening I wouldn't have noticed. Her door opened ever so slightly to reveal Lily, my sister had finally come back. It was sad that for most people, a tragedy had to occur to unveil everyone's faults.

"Is she…?" Lily asked in an almost inaudible whisper.

To be honest, I hadn't had the slightest clue or sign as to if she would be alright. "I don't know."

Lily nodded and took a seat in the corner; she had gained even more weight than I had expected her to, which was good. It was almost as if her motherly instincts were already kicking in. "Aren't you supposed to be resting too?" Maybe they were kicking in a little too quickly.

"I can't sleep knowing that she's going through so much pain." Now facing Lily, I looked at her, and she understood exactly what I meant. "I just want to help her."

She looked at me once, and then she looked at my hands that held Addie's one delicate hand. "I was wrong, before." I looked back to Addie, knowing exactly what Lily was talking about. "About everything, I really hope that you can forgive me."

"I'm pretty sure that I am not the one that needs the apology," I gripped onto Addie's hand a little bit more, "But when she wakes up I'm sure she'll be glad to hear it."

"Al," her voice filled with sorrow, "what if Addie doesn't wake up."

"She will," I had no doubt in my mind, she was going to wake up and we would live happily ever after and have millions, no, trillions of babies. "If there is one thing that I know about Addie, it's that she won't give up. She won't let this mere accident slow her-"

"Al." She looked up at me and told me, "I love how you can see the best in situations, even at the worst of times, but this has got to stop. We aren't five anymore, this isn't like one of us fell off of our bikes and mum was there to kiss it to make it better. You have to let her go."

"I am not going to leave her, and I won't let her leave this time either." My attention focused back to Addie, "I won't abandon her like her family did, and I'm not them. She needs me, I am her last hope."

Lily and I sat in the still quiet for hours, not speaking a word to one another. I just looked at Addie. At two o six, there were three sharp knocks on the door, then before either of us even flinched, the door opened widely. Tyler Moon, a school friend of Addie's, and Mary Flint both burst through the door. Their eyes both widened as they saw her, their limbs went limp. Another stepped into the room…

0o0o0o0o0

Matthew Perks had to walk in on my already shitty day, and he was bound to make it worse. "How is she?" He asked, not even noticing my presence.

"About as good as she can," Al replied, looking towards me, giving me a certain glance, as to ask if I wanted him out of here. "Not many people are as strong as her, but we can all get by."

"And Lily, How…. How is she?" Al looked back up at Matt for the seriousness in his voice.

I didn't want him to see me like this. I was technically seven months and already whale shaped. I felt embarrassed and if he knew I was here, he would leave. I just liked to see him, his dirty blonde hair was now a tangled mess and he didn't look very well.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Al pointed towards me and Matt turned around, I tried to hide my face, as if it would give me a shield from his eyes, his so gorgeously handsome eyes…

He was staring at me; I could feel his eyes on my stomach, gawking at it. When I removed my hand from my face, I realized that he had gotten closer to me, and the only thing he was staring at, was my face. "How are you?" He asked in an almost inaudible whisper.

I looked away from him, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Fine."

"That's good," he stared humiliated at his feet.

He was so close to my chair now that I felt the warmth of his body heat radiating on my skin. It felt refreshing for once to not feel as though you were sucking on ice cubes all day. I could feel the tension rise in the room as I finally looked up at him. He looked taller, tanner, and he looked almost… muscular. "I've been meaning to write to you." His hands kept on fidgeting and shaking uncontrollably.

"Have you?" I tried to not see him smile, but for once he did, at the sound of my voice being uplifted. It was surely a false hope because if he would have wanted to write, he would have.

"I had, but then my mum and dad took me to America to see my cousins, to get away from… everything…" His voice grew progressively quieter and then he tried to recover, "I just got back and when I heard about Addie, I came as fast as I could."

"How convenient of you." I mumbled, trying not to buy his story.

He looked to me, for some kind of sign or emotion, I gave him nothing. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing at all." I snarled moodily, whipping my head around to face the opposite wall.

"Oh, I see, I am just supposed to forgive everything that's happened between us and come crawling back to you is that it?" His anger matched mine, "I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?"

"A little sympathy couldn't hurt you Matt, sometimes I wonder if you were the right choice or not." Huffing out my frustration, I turned even farther away from him, to not show him that he had struck a nerve. To not show him I was weak.

He inhaled and exhaled once, twice, then a third time. "Lily," he said my name softer than I had ever remembered it being spoken, "please." I turned around to show my newly released tears. In attempts to comfort me he took my hand but I quickly retreated, I didn't want a repeat of last time… What if things had never changed?

"We can't pretend that nothing has happened between us, even if we haven't been with one another," He told me, kneeling down on both knees now to stay at my level. "But we can move on, from this," he pointed to the baby as if it were merely a bug on my stomach, "I have been thinking about this a lot and I've made up my mind." Taking another look at my eyes he said, "I think adoption is the best decision."

"What?" chimed a chorus of three behind Matt, but he didn't look back, at the moment his eyes were only on me. "So what do you think Lily?"

"I think that what I do with _my_ child is _my_ decision, don't you think?" Acting as calmly as I could without hurting the baby with my fury.

He stood there stunned, as if I had struck him with a lightning bolt. "So you're keeping it?"

"It isn't just an it, it is my baby." I told him coolly, he looked to his shoes for advice then quietly set something in my lap.

His body turned but his face still faced towards me, "I don't want it back, but if you'd like to throw it away you may. It's to remind you that I'm not always the bad guy." He swiftly left the room before my eyes could divert to the sparkling silver tree house necklace. My heart skipped a few beats, he had found it, he had fixed it… He must still love me if he were to give me this.

By this point I was reduced to tears and could not stop sobbing for the next few minutes. It gave Mary and Tyler the excuse to leave and for Al to get up and console me. This was when mum barged into the room. She had finally found Al and she decided that we all should leave, but Al refused to leave the room and he firmly planted his feet on the ground. "I won't leave her."

Mum realized that she was fighting a losing battle and told him that he should still get rest and she would tell his nurses he was in here.

o0o0o0o0o0o

"Addie, please wake up," I murmured quietly into her ear after everyone had left. My body lay half on the bed, my arm around her as my face was near her ear. "I can't do this without you, I need you.

It was now dark and the room was lit only by a light in the corner, that had coincidentally flickered, on, and off. A dull knock pounded on the door, to reveal Scorpius Malfoy, in his hand, a letter that I had wrote to him not even three hours ago. "You said it was urgent?"

"I need something, from you." I told him quietly, a sack of galleons by my side. I had not seen Scorpius since our graduation, but I knew that he was the guy to see for this sort of thing. "I need the good stuff."

Scorpius could not help but looking at Addie, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." I told him, sliding the galleons into his hand. He looked into the bag curiously and looked at the money in awe, "I don't know if this is worth that much, I don't think I even got it for this much."

"It's worth it." I told him confidently, he handed the box to me, and as I put it in my pocket he said, "You're one lucky bastard, you know that?" He smiled and looked back to Addie again.

"I'll be lucky when she wakes up." Scorpius nodded knowingly and left the room.

I climbed onto the bed and took up the other half of the bed that Addie did not cover, I placed my arm on top of hers and I whispered, "I love you." Snuggling into my pillow I failed to notice Addie's sides of her mouth slowly turn up.

_My chapter shall speak for itself. Welcome back me :)_


	63. When the screaming stops

_**(Changed: Editted at the end)**_

I awoke startled to feel a burning sensation roaring throughout my fingertips. Rising startled, I adjusted my glasses onto my face. It had been Addie, her skin was burning up, her pale skin seemed to burn like an ongoing forest fire.

"Addie?" Asking in alarm, I hurried to the hall, calling out for any help. Within seconds, five aurors followed by two advanced healers entered the room. Only two of the faces I recognized, dad, and Uncle Ron, who was now shielding me away from the scene. With all of my might I refused to leave, but my efforts were not sturdy enough to keep me in the room.

He looked at me with sympathetic eyes, "Let's talk over here Al."

Silently I agreed and sat in the waiting room, when he sat down; Ron put his hand on my shoulder. "I know how you feel."

"No, you don't." Bitterly I snapped, no one could possibly know how I felt right now. He sighed and took his hand back, and placed it on his lap. "Yes, I do." For the first time that I had known my uncle he seemed to be completely serious and understanding.

To see him like this, it made you question everything that you knew about him before, "How?"

"Well, something that I haven't told many was, during the fight against… You-know-who, I left. I left your dad and aunt Hermione because I couldn't handle it. Then I had realized after I had slept and eaten, that I loved Hermione. I loved her a lot, and more than I could express. Leaving her was one of the stupidest things I've done. When I thought about her with another guy, it killed me. The thought of her in danger, scared me shitless. It took me seven years to finally show her how I felt. Your dad showed me the memories, I see you care a lot about her." He said finally, in a hushed tone, observing me stare at my feet. "I have seen that look before, when your mum was left by your dad that summer. She couldn't stand not knowing anything, and the one thing she couldn't stand more, was the fact that she couldn't go along."

My shoes didn't give me any advice on what to say back to him, so I was on my own for finding words. "No one ever told me that."

"There are a lot of things that you were shadowed from as a kid, but now, you're a man Albus." No one had ever called me a man, because everyone still treated me like a kid. "I think you are old enough to know, because you have shown me the strength that is twice the size of my strength." He smiled gently towards me, and I returned the smile halfheartedly.

Addie continued to run through my brain, why had her temperature gone up so quickly? Would she be alright? Was she going to wake up soon? "Can I tell you something first?"

For a minute he looked at me quizzically, but then his expression softened. "You can tell me anything, anytime Al. I am here for you forever and always. I'll be here when you need me."

"I'm afraid she may never wake up, and well, I don't know if I could live with that hanging on my chest for the rest of my life. She doesn't deserve to have this happen to her. I keep on remembering the night that we parted… I remember the way that she couldn't stop crying, she still had my jacket, she regretted leaving, so why didn't she just come back? Why couldn't she have just been satisfied with staying here? What is there for her at Beauxbatons? Is she afraid of commitment? Or what?" My rate of breathing had increased while I had talked about Addie, she made me all flustered and I couldn't help but love her all at the same time.

Ron fiddled with his hands before he disclosed some information with me, "After your mother had a talk with the minister, he decided that your father was unfit for Addie's case, so instead… I was assigned Addie's case, and I have done my research and I tried to talk with her mother, but she refuses to speak to anyone and has dropped off the face of the planet along with Addie's sister Becca. She was last seen leaving the hospital, and that is all I can find out about her whereabouts. While I researched her file and all of the memories kept about her, I found out that her father was a muggle, and I found all the memories I could… Most of them weren't pleasant things. She was-" A scream found my ears and hit me like a title wave, the scream belonged to Addie.

Like a shot, I bolted upward and ran down to her room, easily becoming winded I was stopped by the locked door, I pounded onto the door, "Addie! ADDIE!" I continued to pound onto the door and cry out her name, but the door refused to budge. Ron was now at my side and he put his hand on my shoulder, "Albus, don't do this to yourself, there is nothing you can do now."

"Do something!" I screamed at him, but only regret filled his eyes, "Do something!"

"Albus, I'm not god-"

"She's dying in there and you're not doing a damn thing! Maybe if it were someone you loved in there it would be a different story but when it's just my love your hands are tied!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, the few trainee healers in the hall looked at me with various gazes.

At the drop of the pin, the screams came to a halt. No noise was escaping from underneath the door, I felt myself shutting down, I wasn't going to be standing much longer. Dropping down immediately to the ground I sank into the crease of the wall, feeling as big as an ant.

Everything went limp and dark, the last thing I heard were more screams for help, and the door finally opening…


	64. A life begins and ends

_**Please Review**_

Mum was over at Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur's while James kept me occupied in the living room. "Once you can stand up again, I'll take you to the library if you'd like. Or you could read me one of my Quidditch tactic books if you'd like.

"That's a sweet offer James, but I don't think I want to go out for a while." I flipped through my book, "Saving Sarah Jane," and tried to keep my mind off of anything else.

"Would you like to see the paper?" James asked, trying to create conversation, since he had nothing else to do.

"No thank you, I don't need to have more nightmares of more houses burning down." James quietly turned the page to the comic section and hid his face.

The front door opened and mum seemed to be in less distress than she had when she left. "How did it go?" James asked, putting down the paper.

"Fleur is furious, and she damn well should be, but she tends to like to put others down when she is angry." Mum sat herself down onto the chair across from me and put her feet up.

James seemed to ease into this question, "And what about Al?"

"Your brother is exactly like your father. Stubborn as can be, he won't leave the room now and he will only eat when we bring food to the room." Mum readjusted in her chair and went on, "After his second accident, he has decided to put all blame on himself. He won't listen to anyone and desperately needs a shower."

"And Addie?" I asked.

The room was quiet for a minute, not even the grandfather clock was ticking as loud. "Addie is… Addie isn't doing so well. She went into shock a few days ago, which the healers couldn't figure out what caused it but they think it was a symptom of post traumatic stress disorder." Mum's face had flushed white, "But I believe she will be fine soon."

Mum got up quickly and asked us if we would like some tea, James and I both agreed. "James will you please help Lily into the kitchen, carry her if you will."

Once mum was out of the room I told James that it was unnecessary for him to pick me up and walk me to the kitchen which was less than a hallway ways away. He agreed but only if I would hold onto him in case I fell.

We walked into the kitchen and mum's pot was already boiling, the steam rising from the kettle. "I figured that we could bring Albus some food in a basket, and maybe have a family supper." Her wand whisking away at the batter, her apron tossed to the side. "We haven't had one in… a while." She whisked more furiously and took the screaming kettle off of the pot. "Take a seat, the both of you; I'll have your lunch up in no time." With a flick of her wand mum made the tea fly from the kettle to the cups to the table.

Sitting down, James and I took small sips of tea. "I suppose we should leave by five to get there in time." She looked at the clock in the kitchen and gave a sigh, "Although I don't think Albus has eaten yet today… Maybe I should sick grandma on him, don't you think?"

James and I both let out nervous laughs, not really knowing what to say. "Was anyone going to visit him today?"

"Your father and a few aurors were going to head that way once they were through filing papers." She told us, and then to herself, "I hope he doesn't lose his temper, I hope Ron has more sense than to let Harry get too far into this."

Sipping on my tea some more, I kept quiet. I got up to head to the bathroom when suddenly, something didn't seem right.

"What the hell is that?" James shrieked.

Mum quickly turned around and dropped her wand, standing still. "Oh my god, the baby just spit the tea back out!" I screamed in panic. My mother grabbed onto the counter top and told me, "Honey, your water just broke."

"But I didn't have water remember, you made me drink the tea!" I shouted in alarm.

Acting as fast as she could, mum turned off all of the burners, had James call dad and ran upstairs to put together some things for me. James used his wand to clean the mess and me up, and once mum joined us they lead me strait for St. Mungo's as I stayed in a state of shock.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Knocking once, I entered the room, one hand opening the door and Hermione's homemade food in the other. "Al?" I asked quietly, he seemed to be solidly asleep with his hand on top of Addie's. They both seemed at peace. I set the food on the end table and placed a heating charm on it. Looking around the room, I saw a very feeble plant; it looked in worse condition each day. Then I proceeded to look at the books that Lily had brought for Al, they included Quidditch through the ages, and several others. She had even brought one that was more of Addie's taste, for in the hopes she would eventually wake.

Al had haphazardly put his jacket on top of a chair, going to put it more neatly on the armrest. When I moved his jacket, something had mistakenly fallen out, going to pick it up I saw that it was a small black box. Looking cautiously over at Al and back to the box, I opened it up. Quickly closing the box back up, I looked back again towards Al. Placing the box back into the jacket pocket I exited the room.

o0o0o0o0o

Tears filled the room and the screams echoed off of the walls.

One life was renewed, another life was taken.


	65. Unhealed wounds

**_Please Review :)_**

A room once filled with cribs and baby clothes, was now a room just filled with shit. Random shit that I would never get a chance to use. I looked at my useless piles of shit that cluttered my room and sat in the middle of my floor, the only part not being taken up by this useless shit. I thought of my life. How it had been, how it is now, and how it is going to be. Of course I could not even pretend to predict the future, I reflected on my past, and my now standing situation. I was raped and with that I became pregnant, my baby, Molly Adeline Potter, died still born two and a half months early. With that came depression. Also, I found an inner strength, I regained my brothers back, and I have a much stronger bond with my family. However, I have lost most of my friends. Mary and Tyler came to visit me at the funeral for Molly and all they could do was consol me and give me endless apologies. Addie is still incased within her coma but healers say that there have been some improvements and she may come out as soon as tomorrow and as late as ten years from now. As for Matthew Perks, he is still gorgeously handsome. I told him that I needed my space for a while and I would owl him the minute if anything would come up that I would need him.

The person that worries me the most these days is Al. He stays for hours on end in that hospital room, and Addie hasn't woken up yet. Al will tell me of how he read to her, how he would kiss her forehead and he could see her face glow a little bit more, and how he was so excited for the day she would wake up. It seemed as though he was desperate for a need that only she could fulfill. I cannot blame Al for wanting something so badly, but he hasn't be anywhere besides that hospital room and our house only to occasionally sleep and take showers.

So now I reflect on my present. Is it wise for me to jump back into my normal life? Did I ever have a normal life? When it comes time how will I know to get back together with Matt? Will I ever be over the loss of my child? I sat trying to figure out the answers that no one could explain for me, as I did this there came a knock on my door.

"I don't want to talk to anyone." I answered, but they came in anyways. Dad stood at my doorway and looked at all of the shit piled up in my room.

"Oh, I forgot this was all still here." He told me in a quiet voice. Obviously he had forgotten I'd slept on the couch the past few weeks so I could avoid this moment of sadness. "Are you going to be alright?"

"About as alright as I can be." Crying seemed somewhat a waste of my time now, getting all emotional over everything. I felt as though I became more of an adult with my pregnancy, and my whole ordeal. "Has Al come over yet?" I asked, trying to get off of that topic.

"No." Dad replied flatly. Although my bond with mum and dad grew stronger, that wasn't the case for all of the siblings. James had continued to stay under the radar, while Al had a falling out with dad. Al had told off dad one day after visiting Addie and he had only come back to the house when he knew dad had been working. Al was still in good standing with mum, because she agreed with him; however this made things harder for mum and dad. "I don't expect him to show up all day, because I'm off today."

"Oh." Even though my relationship with dad had improved a considerable amount, we still had our awkward moments of when we didn't know how to bring up conversation. Mum popped her head into my room and asked if I could help her in the kitchen.

"Sure," soon I was making my way down the stairs when I saw James and Susan in the living room sipping tea, having small whispers of conversation. Instead of eavesdropping, I went to the kitchen to work. We baked up lasagna, fruit salad, cookies, and we packed some butterbeers into a basket. Mum came back and forth from the living room to the kitchen, each time she mumbled something different to herself. Once I thought I heard her whisper, "engaged."

She told me that we were all going to visit Al and Addie, and that there weren't any if or buts about it. Dad was the only exception to this rule because he had downright refused to go. "You're just making more trouble for yourself Harry." Mum mumbled on her way out the door.

Once we had reached Addie's room we had noticed something different about her, the color in her face had returned. Al beamed and greeted us all with hugs, "I started watering the plant over in that corner, and it seems to me that there is a connection with Addie's body and that tree. I watered the tree and in turn the tree looked better, and Addie started to look, livelier."

"Albus, Addie isn't a plant; you can't just water her back to consciousness." Mum reassured him, but he laughed.

"I know that mum, but I felt like if she felt better with one lively plant that maybe she would feel great with a lot of lively plants. So I asked Neville to come and help me out now that he isn't my teacher anymore." He seemed so sure of his plan, that we didn't have the heart to tell him that he was crazy.

"Albus, we need to have a discussion." Mum sat down across from Al and looked at him gravely.

o0o0o0o0o

Five more days passed and she had still not woken up from her precious slumber. Everyone else had given up hope on Addie, all of her friends, her family, I was the only person left on this planet that cared for her. Both had abandoned her in her time of need and now I feel terrible. Had I never let her leave in the first place, she would have never gone to Beauxbatons, had she never gone there she would have never met him, and had she never met him, I would have never had to save her from a burning building.

She was in this state because of me.

This vegetal state of where healers would have to course nutrients through her veins and give her body the food and energy it needed to stay, if you could call it, alive.

Had I never impacted Addie's life, if my family had never met Addie, she would be far better off. She could have had everything and anything, met someone more fitting for her and not two years older than her. I was not good enough for her, and she deserved much better than what I could give.

The rainfall seemed to storm onto the window of the hospital room window.

My happy thoughts seemed to decrease as I felt a coldness course through my veins. Had she truly loved me she wouldn't have ever left me. If she really loved me then why would she sleep in a room with Louis? She slept in a bed with another guy.

He saw her naked.

_He did that, she didn't want that._

She still left me.

_She only did it to get away from the memories of Hogwarts._

She slept with Louis.

_In the same room and the same bed are two different things, and if they had, would you love her any less?_

No, but she doesn't love me.

_That's the biggest lie I've ever heard._

The battle raged on in my mind as it had. Hospital walls had this effect on people, I needed a walk. Getting up, I gave Addie a kiss on the cheek and took my jacket, going to take a stroll around London.

The brisk wind cut through my jacket and gave me chills from my feet to the top of my head. It reminded me of the night that Addie and I had said our goodbyes, the night she said goodbye to her father and brother. I tried to clear my mind of her, but she was all I could think of other than how my toes were frozen. When I thought of her, my toes seemed to warm up, and life seemed at least bearable.

"Damn this wind, damn this rain," I mumbled and trudged onward.

For once, when I walked down the street, I wasn't known by everyone, I could just blend in with the average person without being Harry or Ginny's son, or James or Lily's brother, or that famous kid.

Turning around, and walking back into St. Mungo's, I politely said hi to the lady at the front desk and went on my way back to Addie's room. The door was now opened and I peered inside to see that Addie had moved. Her hand had moved, but that hadn't explained why her door was opened.

I entered the room to find it was completely empty and just the way I had left it. Slowly I made my way back to my chair; I threw my sopping wet jacket onto the back of the chair and sat down. Taking Addie's hand in mine, I felt her cool touch slowly warm up with my hands against her. "Soon, you'll be all better, and then, you can live with us. Now how does that sound?"

0o0o0o0o0

He sat in his office for hours on end, and by this time I'd had enough, "Harry, may I speak to you?" Turning his chair towards me, he said nothing he only looked at me once and then back to his files. "Harry I think that your problems with Al need to be solved."

"I think that it is between a son and his father not a son and his parents. Don't meddle in things that are just fine the way that they are." Firing back Harry flipped his pages more fiercely as he looked through the mounds of files.

"So you are fine with not seeing your son and how awful he looks? You are too harsh on your own son Harry." Feeling protective and more frustrated, Harry refused to talk to my face.

"You baby the boy," Harry now looked irritated and finally wheeled around to look at me, "his imagination is unrealistic and you fill his head with nonsense ideas! Ever since he was a child he's had the biggest imagination, and it has blossomed and gone to a level so high that he believes he loves this girl after knowing her for such a little time!" Getting up and pacing around the office Harry seemed to be hiding something, from his stance, to his anxiousness to drop the subject.

"What is so wrong with giving him hope? It isn't unrealistic that she will wake up-"

"But will she have the same feelings for him as he does for her when she wakes up?" Harry pointed his finger at me in a challenging way. "And when she does, it won't be an immediate thing either because she won't know a bloody thing that happened! He almost died for her and she might not even like him!"

"Please Harry, just make peace with him already," he tilted up his nose and crossed his arms, "if you don't resolve this soon, Harry, I'm afraid he won't ever come back."


	66. A new beginning

**_Please Review :D_**

Silently opening the door, I slipped in with a plate of Hermione's muggle baked chocolate bars that she made from time to time. Albus' head rose to look at mine, and for the first time in weeks he smiled. "Uncle Ron."

"Hermione sends her best wishes," I said nodding to the box filled with bars in my hand. "She feels like it's the only thing she can do."

He grinned and spoke, "Tell her thanks, hospital food isn't the greatest."

I sat it down on the table, closely eyeing Al out of the corner of my eye. "Can I ask you a few questions?"

Glancing up at me he tilted his head, but slowly nodded; he figured I couldn't ask too harmful of questions. "Why do you stay here all the time?"

"In case she wakes up. I don't want her to feel like she's all alone in this universe. No one should ever have to feel that… I know I have." Al refused to look at me and would only look at Addie or his hands. "Her family left her you know… Dad and brother died… Mom took her sister and left… She has no one now. I am the only one that cares if she lives or dies."

"That's not exactly true," I said, "Lily would care if she lives or dies. I would care. Your whole family is invested into this case now Albus, we all care. She has a family. We will be her family."

He thought about it for at least two minutes before saying, "I bought her a ring. To make it official."

Recalling what I had stumbled upon in Al's coat, I had known for some time now that he had bought a ring. I just didn't know how serious he was about it yet. "She's had quite the trauma; don't you think that you should wait until she's at least of age?" I said with a hint of sarcasm, but my sarcasm wasn't appreciated.

"I need her, and she needs me. It would just be a promise ring until I could get her a real ring." Pulling it out of his pocket, the diamond sparkled.

"That ring is almost nicer than the ring that I got Hermione," I mumbled under my breath, "Where did you get that kind of galleons to pay for that?"

He seemed almost hesitant to tell me but he'd said that versus wasting all of his money like his siblings did, Al was the one Potter child who had saved all of his allowances, birthday, Christmas, and tooth fairy money. "I still have about half of my savings left."

"You may be moving a bit faster than you should be Al. Even if she gets out of this coma, Addie will need much medical and psychiatric help before she can be stable enough to go back to a normal life, let alone start a new one with you. She hasn't finished her schooling." I took a long pause before continuing, the struggle in my mind had been made up, so I decided to tell him. "Addie Abraham has had an unimaginably hard life when it comes to the naked eye. Since I have been reviewing her case for the past few months, I couldn't help but noticing a reoccurring problem in her family. Neighbors of the Abrahams constantly complained about the noise coming from their household. Quite a few times the police had to be called in to break up fights. Addie has been dealing with emotional abuse since birth and has not said a thing about it to anyone besides possibly your mum. Did Addie ever tell you about her parents?"

Albus sunk back further in his chair and couldn't help but messing up his hair. "Once, she was hysterical though. It was the night her dad died. She kept on saying something about being perfect, needing to be perfect, but she could never be perfect. When I told her that I thought she was perfect, she threw the bombshell on me that she was moving to France…" He seemed to struggle a bit with his words, "that was the night I told her I loved her… and it was the night we slept in the same bed. The next morning her mum caught us and everything went up into smokes." Albus refused to look me in the face any longer. He touched his hand to his heart with tears glistening his eyes and whispered, "She belongs right here."

Waiting for the right amount of time to speak, I asked, "Did your parents ever tell you about the nightmare that Addie had when she had slept at your house?"

He shook his head no.

"Addie had a nightmare that she was going to be killed, and she reenacted that dream in your very kitchen. Once she woke up, your parents and grandmother tried to comfort her but she was inconsolable since she had missed her father and brother's funeral… Then her mother came crashing through your door trying to attack Addie. Both were screaming but only Addie was crying out for help from your mother. Your mum said that she had seen some horrible things, but she couldn't imagine the life that Addie must have had. She even gave me the memory for the investigation, I have three vantage points and all are equally horrifying."

"Are you telling me this to depress or scare me? If you are, you're doing a fine job at it." Was all that he could say.

"She is more troubled than you think. Someone is out to kill you and possibly harm her, which seems to be the absolute last thing on your mind Albus. He tried to kill you. If he kills you then he will kill a part of her too. She needs you. We're trying to locate him but until we do, you are going to need to stay low." It seemed that my words were going into his ear and out the other. "Addie isn't out of the woods in any circumstances either."

"She's safer with me. I won't let anything happen to her. I can't." His hand touched hers and he said even firmer, "I love her."

Like nothing I had never seen before, Albus started crying. Covering his head and only putting his arms out to touch her hand, he let his head hang low and he sobbed. "I could've kept her safe. She could've stayed with me. I-I would have loved her more than anyone else could." His body shook in pain and fear, "No one loves her like I do. _He is the one that did this to her. He will pay for everything that he's done. He ruined the one good thing in my life. _She told me everything! He took her clothes and showed her off for people to laugh at her!" Coming over to him I put my hand on his shoulder. Al crumbled under the weight that he had been carrying for so long and he just wept.

"She is safe now… You're here for her… That's all that matters…"

Al stopped crying and looked up toward his hand. Someone was holding onto his hand back. He felt a gentle squeeze and looked up to her eyes. Her eyes were open and filled with tears, slowly she moved her lips to whisper, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Albus looked up to her and they stayed staring at one another for what seemed like hours. Nothing in his world seemed to matter more than going onto her hospital bed and lying by her side, holding her in his arms. The tears slid down her face as she could only apologize to him. He stroked her hair and told her that it was all going to be alright now. She was where she belonged.

When I got up to give them a moment and tell the healers she was awake, I saw the little tree in the corner. The buds on the tree had finally blossomed into beautiful flowers.


	67. He didn't deserve you

The moment that Addie Abraham woke up, my world had become that much brighter. The Aurors tried to keep the press away as much as they could but they had needed to allow for some publicity of the story since it had become such big news in the wizarding community. Uncle Ron had become the spokesperson for the story and would not allow any photographs of Addie until she was feeling much better. The Auror Office had tried relentlessly to contact her mom to tell her that Addie had woken up, but no one could reach her.

After the accident, Addie certainly had changed, in many ways. She had become more reserved, often she would complain about aches and pains throughout her body, she would apologize profusely for even the slightest mistake, and her sense of humor had almost been lost. She was not the girl that I have come to know and love, far from actually.

Many people had come to visit her, but most of the time Addie seemed less than interested to see them. Matthew Perks had even stopped by for a small visit but she would only listen to him talk about Lily and how she thought that they needed to reconcile. Louis and his whole family stopped by with a stuffed pygmy puff, and through the entire visit she would only address Louis unless asked a question.

Two weeks after she had woken up, Ron had come in to talk to us about how we were going to have everything arranged. "Now that you are feeling a little bit better, we can talk about where you would like to go from here in terms of where you want to live. We have several options for you, but you can only choose from the selection. Since we cannot locate your mother, staying with her would be unsafe and not in your best interest, however we have found several homes that you can stay at so that you feel as comfortable as possible. The Potters have offered up their home, you could use the guest room and we could carefully monitor the motion on the outside and inside of the house. My house has been offered courtesy of my wife, you would share a room with Rosie, but don't worry, she doesn't snore. My parents, Molly and Arthur, said that they could keep an eye on you, this way you would have your own room but you would not have anyone your own age living there with you. Lastly, we could put you in the Witches Protection Program where we will place you with a wizarding family and change your appearance, name, and anything that would identify you as Addie Abraham until we catch this guy. Do any of these options sound like they would be the right choice for you? If not, my team and I can go back to the drawing board…"

Addie slumped back into her bed and fell further and further down in the sheets. "I really don't know."

"Of course you do, you can come live with my family. You know all of us, and get along with all of us…" Quickly I caught her glance and my voice trailed off. I mumbled, "If you want."

"I don't know if I want to leave just yet. I won't be able to sleep without some sleeping draught and I won't feel safe no matter where I go. Not until he's dead." Ron slowly slid into the seat next to Addie across from me.

"I promise that we won't move you out of here until you are ready or we absolutely need to and we will take you wherever you would like as long as you are safe." With the sincerity of his voice, Addie allowed herself to relax. "If I might make a suggestion though, with the Potter house and my house we will have guards and charms put in place and we will make sure that they are present. However, at the other houses, I'm not exactly sure if security will be as tight."

"I don't know how I feel about intruding on other people's families. Just because my family abandoned me doesn't mean that I need to be a charity case to another." I saw a foggy glaze form over Addie's eyes before she covered her face. "I'm sorry Mr. Weasley, but can you come back another time, I haven't had much sleep and I worry that it is getting to me."

He quickly excused himself from the room to let me have a chance to talk her down. "Addie, you are not a charity case."

"Yes I am. I am a charity case to your whole family. They all feel bad for me and pity me like I'm some kind of freak because of what's happened-"

"Horrible things have happened to you in the past year and now people are finally paying attention to you like they always should have."

"Not for the right reasons," she mumbled, "every single person who has walked through that door has shown me pity and lots of it, especially you being the biggest culprit."

"I'm sorry for showing so much compassion to you and caring about you when you needed it most." Lathered with sarcasm my words seemed to finally have struck a nerve with her.

"I never asked you to stay, I never asked you to save me, I never even asked you to help me. No matter where I go he will follow me, everywhere I look I feel him looking on me like he always sees me. I don't feel safe. He wants to kill you Al, and the more I draw to you the more he'll seek you out. I'll just go back to school…"

"You don't think I'll let you go back there! No way in hell are you going to that ruddy school with all those lunatics who steal your clothes and ridicule you like there's something wrong with you when there isn't! I don't care; there is no way in hell that you are going back there." She seemed offended that I was taking a stance, I knew that everyone would back me up and say that she shouldn't go, and she couldn't decide for herself she wasn't of age yet.

"I wasn't alone, I had Louis, and no doubt I'd have aurors riding up my bum every five seconds to see that I'm alright. Your cousin helped me more than you know Al, that's why I asked to stay with his family. I knew that his dad wouldn't tell your dad and I knew his mom wouldn't know who I was. I wanted a safe place, and I had found it-"

"Yeah right before he almost killed you!" I stood up and knocked my chair over in anger, "Had they not called us, you would be dead right now! I would have had to go to your funeral and see you laying there motionless and know that in my heart, I could have saved you!" Slowly crouching over back into the other side of her bed, I watched Addie slowly creep into a little ball. "You went to that school and you let them torture you! You let him sleep with you and _GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE HE COULD HAVE DONE TO YOU! _I sat and read your letters and I had nightmares about you getting attacked by this lunatic and seeing you die! I know that there was more that you didn't tell me! Louis said that you had made out with him just to try to get that guy off of your back but then he came to your room and harassed you! _I'm the one that loves you, I'm the one who has been sitting here for weeks, I'm the one that you wrote those letters to, and I am the one who wants to be yours more than anyone else in this world_!" Panting furiously, my eyes felt as though they were on fire and out of the corner of my tearful eye I saw Uncle Ron barge in with two figures behind him, they had probably heard me screaming. "You have no idea how hard it was for me to just stand back and do nothing while you were dying. You were on the ground dying and I couldn't do anything about it! I LOVE YOU!-" I slowly felt Ron's hands on my shoulders guiding me towards the door, but I refused to move, I just stared and screamed at her. "I love you and you sit there and you don't care if he murders you tomorrow or not! You don't want to go back to Hogwarts, not because of your mom but because of all the things that happened with Lily and your dad dying. You missed his funeral, but he was a complete ass to you! He broke you and he and your mom basically beat you to death with how they treated you!-" Ron finally gave a stronger tug and a very stern, "Albus Severus." Both of his arms wrapped around me and held me in this strongest backward hug I had ever felt. "He didn't deserve you Addie! You loved him but he didn't deserve your love because he was horrible and so was your mom! They were horrible people and they didn't deserve you!"

Addie had just curled up into the corner of her bed and cried, she didn't hold back, she just cried and cried and cried as I had screamed at her. I hadn't paid attention to her when I was screaming at her because I was so mad at the world. Ron had me in a locked position and he led me out of the room. I could tell even from his grip that I was going to be ripped a new one after doing that.

He pushed me to the ground and let me fall onto the hallway floor, just close enough that I could hear Addie crying all the way down the hall…

"Do you feel better now? Picking on a girl who has lost everything and then reminding her that her dad had died? I never thought that I would see the day that you would screw up so badly Albus, and I am so disappointed and furious at you that I don't even know where to begin at how stupid you just were!" His voice boomed and his face had turned beat red. "I am so ashamed of you right now, how dare you scream at her like that after all that she has been through and how dare you lose your temper when you put it upon yourself! How dare you Albus! You were the one person in the world that she cared about. The one thing that got her through all of those taunts and traumatic events and you yell at her like she has done you wrong!"

I mumbled miserably, "Why does she need me when she has twinkle toes…"

"Don't you dare call your cousin that and don't you dare think that for one second that girl would favor Louis over you. If you talked to her and ask her you would know that she cares for you more than anyone else. You never asked though did you? I know because I've talked to her, you're about the only subject that we can talk about without her tearing up." I couldn't look at him, never in my life had I disappointed him or made him that furious in my entire life. "You are going to apologize to her and hope that she forgives you, but if I were her, I wouldn't. You need to realize how hard you were on her and after just having woken up, that's a lot of emotion to take in. Once you calm down and gain some remorse, I will let you go back in, but I think you need to calm down and go home to cool off."

I couldn't go back in there; I couldn't face her… not now. I just needed to know that she would be safe while I wasn't there… I needed someone to look after her that she trusted… someone who I trusted.

Quickly, I apparated to Shell Cottage and I felt knots in my stomach. Walking down the path I felt sickening memories. I saw the hole patch at where Addie used to sleep, and I couldn't stop myself from staring at it. Before I had even got to the door, a flash of blonde hair had swept by me and had embraced me into a hug. "Victoire, what are you doing here?"

"Teddy and I had just come by to say hi to mum and dad before the wedding and once they had told us all about what had happened I just knew the first thing I had to do was hug you. You saved my siblings lives, and I can't thank you enough for that." She squeezed tighter and I caught glance of blue coming from my left eye. "Not thinking of leaving off with Al before the wedding are you honey?"

Victoire laughed and let go of me, "Don't be silly. He's family, and anyway I hear he's fawning over some girl quite hard." She gave me a knowing smile, and she laughed again, "Rumor has it you already have the wedding planned out and everything."

I slid it off my shoulder and tried to get to the real reason why I was here. "Well, I guess we'll see in a few years, but right now I just want to get her to talk to me. The only person that can help me do that now, I think, is your brother."

"Oh, he's… well he has to be somewhere around here… The last time I saw him he was in the living room, he sleeps in there… after what happened to his room." Victoire looked towards Teddy, who couldn't keep his eyes off of me. He was watching my every move and it reminded me of my father. "You aurors are all alike." I scoffed, making my way into the house.

As I looked around, I had noticed that since the fire, they had made many changes to the layout of the house. I had to make a few wrong turns to find Louis on the couch, writing on a piece of parchment. It took him a second to look up at me, but when he finally did, his eyes were filled with surprise, "Al, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be at the hospital?"

"I needed a day off." I mumbled.

"Seems to be a crappy day to take off."

"Why do you say that?" Suddenly I became defensive and the more I sat here, the less safe Addie would be.

"Well it doesn't seem right to leave her alone on the 4 month anniversary of her father and younger brother's death." My heart sank to the floor. I knew I had forgotten something, now I knew that nothing I would say would matter. Nothing I could say would win her back.


	68. Safe

Silently I walked down the hallway toward Addie's room with a gift in my hand. I tried to muster up as much courage as I could, but I felt numb. I could feel my heartbeat pulse in my head until I reached her door. My heart stopped altogether until I turned the knob and pushed through.

The room was dim and cool. Her window had been opened, and when I looked to her bed Addie was gone. _"Addie? Addie? ADDIE?"_ I would never forgive myself if anything happened to her. I slammed the window shut out of frustration and kicked the side of the wall.

"Addie."

I heard a small whimper from the corner and turned around to see Addie curled up in the corner of her room. I set the gift down and ran over to her, "Addie what happened?"

"H-He w-was here." She quivered and sobbed into her knees, "he said I couldn't hide a-and he is going to get me…"

I did the only thing that I could think of and I wrapped my arms around her. Her skin was ice cold. She turned toward me and put her head into my chest, "he said he's going to k-kill you."

I only sat there and held Addie for the longest time, rubbing her back occasionally to sooth her. "Don't leave me, please, don't leave me." I held onto her tighter and promised I would not leave her side until she wanted me to. She looked over at the box that I had brought and asked what it was for.

"It's for me being totally out of line earlier. You don't deserve that. You deserve much more than anything I've ever given to you before, so I hope this makes up for a little bit of it." I handed her the box; she looked at me skeptically and looked inside. Tears filled up in her eyes as she took out the old, worn out teddy bear of mine that kept her company the night she stayed at my house. "I figured you needed him more than I did, since I was being such a prat. He needs a girl's attention anyway; women are more gentle-"

She kissed me. Not a peck on the cheek, but a full on the mouth kiss. She pulled me closer to her and played with my hair. I felt her face get warm and I could taste the Chocolate Frog I bought her earlier today. She looked up at me with glassy eyes, "I love you", she whispered.

"I love you too" I said with a smile.

I helped her up, and carried her back to bed. As I was starting to walk back to my chair; I felt her tug on my hand. "Keep me safe, for old times' sake." Her eyes pleaded me to stay, so I climbed up onto the bed and she slid over to make room for me. She faced towards me and placed my teddy bear in between us.

"I will always keep you safe Addie, I promise."


	69. Perfect

Addie didn't need much convincing that St. Mungo's was no longer safe, so she agreed to stay with my family. I was absolutely thrilled that she was coming, but I had a looming feeling about the whole thing.

Uncle Ron brought in a team of Aurors to make sure that Addie's move to our house ran smoothly.

They stood outside as I tried my best to keep Addie calm and help her pack. She told me that she didn't know if she was ready and that she was scared of the future. I tried to calm her down by telling her that everything was alright, but nothing seems to calm her down.

There were three knocks on the door before I could open it. Uncle Ron, dad, Teddy, and Mr. Thomas entered. Ron was grinning from ear to ear at Addie and asked "are you ready to leave this place?" Addie simply nodded and grabbed tightly onto her bag. "Now Addie have you ever seen something like this before?" He held up the invisibility cloak and Addie nodded again. "Good. We're going to have you and Albus under the cloak as an extra safety precaution until we get to the Potter house. No one is aware that we are moving you today, but we have an odd suspicion that word will spread. So the plan is you two will be in the middle under the cloak and the four of us will surround you. If at any moment you do not feel secure please speak up. Do you have any questions?"

"Will they have sleeping draught and security there?" Addie asked skeptically looking from one relative to the next.

Ron answered again, "We will make sure that everything you need is taken care of once we have you at the Potter residence. A briefing meeting is scheduled once we arrive. We'd better get a move on before the press gets a hold of this."

Addie's hand gripped so tightly onto her bag that her knuckles turned white. Her foot was nervously tapping on the floor. She stared blankly at the plant in the room and almost gave it a look of goodbye. Turning back toward Uncle Ron she said, "I'm ready."

I took out my wand, covered the invisibility cloak over us, and wrapped my free arm around her waist. "I won't let anything happen to you." I whispered.

We followed Teddy and Mr. Thomas out of the hospital and into the muggle streets. Turning several corners before we reached the dreariest alley Dad whispered, "hold on."

I held onto Addie tighter, but that did not keep her from screaming. When we arrived home the invisibility cloak had slipped along with Addie who was sitting on the ground. I tried to help her up, but dad beat me to it.

Our yard was filled with reporters and their cameras that I could barely see the grass. I wrapped my arm around her once more and we hurried to the door with our heads hanging.

Mum rushed us in and shut the door behind dad. "They showed up a half an hour ago! Those toads," she spat irritably, "obviously they have nothing better to do." She turned her focus over to Addie and she smiled. "Hi dear how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine thank you for asking." Addie grinned and looked around at our house. She had a new air about her that I could not put my finger on.

Mum led us into the living room where a bunch of Aurors were gathered and talking about Quidditch teams. She showed Addie to a chair at the center of the room and urged me to stand back and let Addie handle this by herself. Uncle Ron entered and everyone turned to him with their full attention and I found a new respect for my uncle.

"Thank you all for coming. I will try to make this as brief as I can. Before I dive in does anyone have any questions?" No response. "Enchantments have been placed around the house to keep out unwanted visitors and the Floo Network is temporarily shut down…"

He carried on about safety precautions that we would be taking, but the only thing on my mind was Addie. She seemed oddly calm about it all. She intently sat and listened to the meeting and even asked a few questions. I couldn't help but smile at her.

After the meeting closed it was dark and so mum showed Addie the guest bedroom.

I went upstairs and changed into snitch boxers and a Chuddley Cannon's tee. Crawling into bed I grabbed a magazine and started flipping through the pages, but it was no use. I couldn't get my mind off of Addie and how she was doing. I was trying my best not to smother her.

An hour passed and the magazine proved completely worthless. A light knock came on my door and I opened it to see Addie tightly holding onto my bear. "Can we sleep with you?"

"You can't sleep?" I asked just fully becoming aware that this was the most Addie has seen me undressed.

"Every time I close my eyes I see him." She explained; her voice at a dull whisper. "I try to think of something else, but nothing works." Tears started to well up into her eyes, so I rushed her into my room and closed the door.

I grabbed onto her and told her that everything was going to be alright. My hand was stroking her hair. She held onto me tightly and stood on her tiptoes so her chin could rest on my shoulder. "Can I stay?"

"Of course."

I cleared a pathway for her to walk to get to my bed. She climbed in and placed my Chudley Cannons covers up to her chin. I crawled over her and got underneath the covers.

Her eyes were intensely focused on me. Her face was full of fear and doubt. "What if he kills you?" Her voice broke and so did her eye contact. "I couldn't live with myself if he did anything to you."

"I can't forgive myself for what has already happened to you." I could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't have the heart to look up. "I have to live with that every day now. The only thing that helps me get through is knowing that I have the rest of my life to make it up to you by insuring you're safe."

I studied her face and knew she had been crying. A new tear was gliding down her cheek.

She wrapped her arms around me so that her face was extremely close to mine. Her breath smelled of mint and seemed cool. I wrapped my arms around her at the waist as she slowly leaned into me with her mouth slightly open. She kissed me as if she knew we had a lifetime together. As the kissing intensified she pulled me closer into her and our bodies touched. I could feel her entire body connected to mine.

With one hand on her back and one in her hair I felt a certain closeness to Addie that I hadn't felt before. The next minute Addie was taking off my shirt and kissing my neck. I felt more and more out of breath. She stopped and looked up at me. My heart raced as her hands glided on my skin.

Our hearts were beating out of our chests as we stared at one another, smiling.

Her lips slowly rose to mine and they stayed there for a while. She leaned back and opened her eyes. She softly whispered, "I love you."

I couldn't help but match her smile. My face felt a rush of heat and I could feel myself turning a beat red. "I love you too."

She wrapped her arms around me. Her head nestled into my chest. For the first time that I could remember I felt Addie's body relax. Raising my hand I shut off my lamp and rested my arms around Addie.

"Perfect" I whispered.


End file.
